You are destroying his life! You are very wicked!!! Is he a baby? Well give me his number? I want to involve him in some olosho paroles this week! Arrant nonsense!

You call dat one Bro? We call ppl lyk dat "Abati Eyan je"..you've really tried and I must commend your efforts, despite all you're still not giving up on him...He needs deliverance coz Ayamatanga is @ work here #MFMStraight

Op can't u see that your brother is a pain in the ass. Try to cut him off, let him strive for himself. Stop pitying him. After all he z a man. I hope it won't be too late. Cos your brother is quite capable of inflicting pain on you without him flinching. Run for your dear life.

sisisioge:
Take the car and your continual support from him. Let him sue you!

Seems logical but you cannot tell what he's capable of in desperation.

OP lady is too considerate & generous. I can fully relate personally.

If she can afford it, best is to settle him with a lump sum and ask him to leave. He needs to grow balls, move on as man and fend for himself.

But only after the whole family have heard the full story and agreed to the settle.
He has no business parasiting on his baby sister anymore.

That is why blacks are not moving forward, in this part, you are on your own. You must get permitted before visiting .
My sister you are the reason why he is not progressing, allow his brain to get hot and to melt all the blockage in it.

My advice though call me wicked but m still the last born of my family, by his grace I am the most called any time.

robedu:
Thanks for your response, my dad is late, he's been late since i was barely 2 years old, my mom an old woman in the village, she is hypertensive and has issues with bad reports, she will just faint or become sick. have told him this over and over again, even when we were buying the photography stuffs, i said it over and over again, he even came with his friends to beg that once this is done he will be able to stand on his own, after that it was excuse that i keep receiving, i do not know why God will allow me to be stress this way for the life of me, i work hard, too hard for my age to make a living but this people kept on pressing me down like a wild force :- my mates in the office are far better than me, they live a worthy life but here i am always spending money like i uproot them from the farm becaues of family[

You are spoiling him. You are probably presenting yourself to him as financially buoyant. You need to learn lesson. If you are not there he will find his feet. Please stop all the helping. It will always end in tears. People will always forget you. Start living your own life. Get married and face your family.

Honestly I feel ur pain cos he's not just irresponsible, but also an ingrate. What u would have done from d onset would v been to cut down n get him a small Uber spec for his transportation biz knowing how wayward and irresponsible he's from d photography biz u established for him, and get a personal car for ur self to avoid these drama, if u add little money on d one u planned to buy Lexus 350 u ll get 2 nice cars, instead sharing urs with him. But anyway it's not yet late, I wouldn't advise u to release the car to him anymore cos he's proven to be irresponsible and ungrateful. Let him job hunt or stay idle for a while so that he ll understand that life is hard and money is hard to come by. Damn big brother thing.or better still get him a small Uber spec for his transport biz, if he like let him manage it well or drink himself to stupor with every dime he makes from it. Some people are so mischievous in nature.

Prettiepearlz:
Wow, The part that got me infuriated was the part about him forming guy man on top your own car. Can you imagine that? Stop indulging him, you have tried with the expensive photography equipments you have gotten for him, after all he has a degree, let him go and look for work even if it's teaching. Stop giving him money when he ask for it, tell him to start looking for an accommodation since you will be getting married soon and he can't be staying with you and your husband. Tell him you have a lot of expenses and you can't be fending for him. But you have got to be careful with him like someone said because from your post so far he seems like someone who feels he is entitled to your money.

i so agree with you, she shld be very careful while taking this decision, i have seen families like this, if she tries to do it forcefully, family members wil end up supporting him saying he is the elder brother.

mehn. how I wish I have a sister /brother Maga like you, omo na "consoli-gbadun" unlimited, as in "miliki-express"..."oto biri biri"

now, except you want to die before your time, is either he is using jazz for you or you want to be father Christmas, either case just collect the car from him or if you feel you can do without the car then dash him, lose him and let him go cater for himself, but not under your roof.

Goodness
Wat kind of evil brother is this
You need to chop him off... Before he leads you to early grave
Best you make it known to him that you done indulging him
Wat more can be done for a brother

robedu:
I graduated quite early and at 22 i already had an okay job, my education was miraculously funded with the little meaner jobs i was doing from house girl to sale's girl, typist etc.

So when i had a job, i decided to help my other siblings both younger and elder ones get qualitative education, for 4 years i work solely to pay their fees, i had no savings, so finally last year the last one standing graduated and i thought i was going to breath fresh air.

One came to stay with me, my immediate elder brother, after his NYSC he started job hunting and couldnt get any, he came to me to explain that he wants to go into photography, that he will use that to establish himself since there are no jobs coming forth, i went ahead to buy expensive photo camera, photo light, printers and all sort of photography stuff for him. weeks pass, months pass without him making any good out of the photography business, i keep on advising him and all.

But early this year when my car started having issues, i decided to change the car, when he saw that i wanted to buy a new car, he came to me to explain that the photography business is not moving, and that i should buy a car that will be accepted in Uber, so he can be driving the car for Uber transport at the weekends when i will not be using the car, initially the car i wanted to buy wasn't uber spec, i wanted to get Lexus 350 or Prius, but because of the way he pleaded with me, i decided to buy camry 2010 which was uber spec so he can use it.

After i got the car, i taught him how to drive and he started driving the car during the weekend, later he came to tell me he can be using the car in the afternoon when i am at work then he will drop me in the morning and pick me up in the evening. this was the hardest part, i couldnt bear not having a car to move around for lunch or client meetings in the afternoon, then he begged me that if i allow him use the car in the day, in 6 months he will make enough money to buy his own car and leave me alone.

So i agreed to allow him use the car in the afternoon, it was the toughest decision have made in my life, I could no longer go for lunch except with one of my colleagues, i had to hire other uber taxi for client meetings, i couldnt have my life like before, but the troubled part was the fact that my brother became arrogant, to even take me to work with my own car became so difficult, he will hurry me to do quick let him drop me else he is going to leave me at home, he doesnt come to pick me anymore from work, i remember the day i had to wait till 11.30pm in the office because the rain was falling and he said i should just find my way, life became so difficult but i was going to bear it for the next 6 months.

But unfortunately, 3 months after he didnt come home that night but that was not the first time he will sleep out so i thought it was his usual ways, i use public transport that day to work, in the office one of his friend called that he had accident and the police said i should come, i went there and the DPO told me why i had to leave my car for somene who is so irresponsible, that he was so drunk last night when he ran into another car, he could not deny that he was driving under the influence of alcohol, i had to start begging the police who refuse to listen to our plea.

He was taken to court where i was ask to bail him out with 50,000, i spend alot of money trying to bury the case, then I had to pay all sort of damages before taking the two cars (the one he hits and my own) to repair, while all of these lasted my head was banging and i was really stressed.

After all of these the car is still being fixed at the mechanic workshop, my brother has not seen anything wrong in all he has done, no sorry whatsoever, instead he came to challenge me to hurry the mechanic to finish up repairs on time so he can start work.

I was thinking that i will not give him the car anymore, but my sister was begging i let go.

What do you think i should do.

When you give people opportunity they ask for "opportunities"

I hope your story is true, stop giving your brother a cooked fish, tell himm to hustle for his life, he will be practically jealous of your spouse, children and life if you don't stop spoon-feeding him, hardest part is, he'll keep seeing you like you have one billion stacked somewhere.

@robedu, you are to blame for his woes and irresponsibility. you refused to let him progress in life. you staunted his growth as a man. How can you keep a 29 year old man at home, feed him and care for him like a child. he now feels entitled, how ll he grow?? From the moment you bought him those camera stuff, you empowered him, your debt to him was paid. you should have push him out to the street to hussle. let him suffer , he ll learn to be a man. i was 22 when my father gave me money and put me out in the street to hussle. whenever i come back broke, he doesn't help me, he only encourages me to work harder and endure the suffering. if he had kept giving me, i would neva have grown up to be my own man.

that said, if you give that car back to him, or continue to allow him live in your house, then you don't mean well for him, you are not helping him. since he admitted that he has 80k, let him use it to start hussling. people started on less. dont give in to emotional blackmail.

This is all I can say

this guy has gone to university right? please collect your car and cut yourself loose!

God helps those who help themselves..... does your brother look like he wants to help himself? Fine ...he was down... and you reached out to help him get to his feet...why to date he can't stand on his own?... why must he still be clinging to your gown for support? How will he ever learn to be responsible if you are always there like the clean up woman?...cleaning up his mess? Cut your bro loose..... let him find his way...you've done more than you should and he thinks that you're supposed to. Like crabs in a barrel he'll keep dragging you down with him.... and we wonder why some people or families don't progress.

nah dis ur brother spoil ur family oo ,boss no vex it will be alright. i had seen de kind thing in may area,just dash him d car for get every thing abut him stop giving him d money .

op, am short of words but d thing is, You overpampered yur siblings. they feel is easy to get money from and believe me, quote me anywhere:Yur elder bro dispise u, thats y he doesnt care how much u waste on him.
Its sad but u need to cut him loose. dont give him d car. Rent a room for him elsewhere. He shudnt knw u are d one about to rent a flat for u and yur fiance ! orelse it wil lead to more bad blood. Just cut spendin and always complain abt money.Just stop pampering.

If you like continue to pamper him as if he is a primary school pupil, some body who is older than you. Until your job is gone then your eye will clear.

laikas:

i so agree with you, she shld be very careful while taking this decision, i have seen families like this, if she tries to do it forcefully, family members wil end up supporting him saying he is the elder brother.

Exactly, I just don't understand the way our society thinks. I give kudos to her, she is a strong woman. I am very sure the lazy "elder brother" will go back to lay claims to his father's house after she finishes the renovation, whereas he is alive seeing it a dilapidated state. He is selfish and greedy. I just pray she handles the whole situation with wisdom so she wouldn't end being labelled as the bad sister.

He's your elder brother. He should be doing things for you and not the other way round. I know you put that into consideration before you do a lot of things you do for him.
But you need to give it more consideration. He's headed down the wrong path you are encouraging him at your own detriment.
You've worked hard for you things in life but you are giving it all to someone who doesn't appreciate your hardwork. He feels entitled and you are enabling him. Keep it up and it will only get worse.

It's time to cut him off. Just like you have worked hard to get to where you are, its time for him to do the same. He''ll eventually appreciate you for it. Take your car back. Give him some space and let him fend for himself. If your sister asks you to help him out, tell her its her turn to take responsibility for him.

Ask yourself, what would you do if it was a stranger? Then do it.

Goodluck.

[color=#006600][/color]

robedu:
I graduated quite early and at 22 i already had an okay job, my education was miraculously funded with the little meaner jobs i was doing from house girl to sale's girl, typist etc.

So when i had a job, i decided to help my other siblings both younger and elder ones get qualitative education, for 4 years i work solely to pay their fees, i had no savings, so finally last year the last one standing graduated and i thought i was going to breath fresh air.

One came to stay with me, my immediate elder brother, after his NYSC he started job hunting and couldnt get any, he came to me to explain that he wants to go into photography, that he will use that to establish himself since there are no jobs coming forth, i went ahead to buy expensive photo camera, photo light, printers and all sort of photography stuff for him. weeks pass, months pass without him making any good out of the photography business, i keep on advising him and all.

But early this year when my car started having issues, i decided to change the car, when he saw that i wanted to buy a new car, he came to me to explain that the photography business is not moving, and that i should buy a car that will be accepted in Uber, so he can be driving the car for Uber transport at the weekends when i will not be using the car, initially the car i wanted to buy wasn't uber spec, i wanted to get Lexus 350 or Prius, but because of the way he pleaded with me, i decided to buy camry 2010 which was uber spec so he can use it.

After i got the car, i taught him how to drive and he started driving the car during the weekend, later he came to tell me he can be using the car in the afternoon when i am at work then he will drop me in the morning and pick me up in the evening. this was the hardest part, i couldnt bear not having a car to move around for lunch or client meetings in the afternoon, then he begged me that if i allow him use the car in the day, in 6 months he will make enough money to buy his own car and leave me alone.

So i agreed to allow him use the car in the afternoon, it was the toughest decision have made in my life, I could no longer go for lunch except with one of my colleagues, i had to hire other uber taxi for client meetings, i couldnt have my life like before, but the troubled part was the fact that my brother became arrogant, to even take me to work with my own car became so difficult, he will hurry me to do quick let him drop me else he is going to leave me at home, he doesnt come to pick me anymore from work, i remember the day i had to wait till 11.30pm in the office because the rain was falling and he said i should just find my way, life became so difficult but i was going to bear it for the next 6 months.

But unfortunately, 3 months after he didnt come home that night but that was not the first time he will sleep out so i thought it was his usual ways, i use public transport that day to work, in the office one of his friend called that he had accident and the police said i should come, i went there and the DPO told me why i had to leave my car for somene who is so irresponsible, that he was so drunk last night when he ran into another car, he could not deny that he was driving under the influence of alcohol, i had to start begging the police who refuse to listen to our plea.

He was taken to court where i was ask to bail him out with 50,000, i spend alot of money trying to bury the case, then I had to pay all sort of damages before taking the two cars (the one he hits and my own) to repair, while all of these lasted my head was banging and i was really stressed.

After all of these the car is still being fixed at the mechanic workshop, my brother has not seen anything wrong in all he has done, no sorry whatsoever, instead he came to challenge me to hurry the mechanic to finish up repairs on time so he can start work.



I was thinking that i will not give him the car anymore, but my sister was begging i let go.

What do you think i should do.

I feel for you because you cannot see the handwriting on the wall, I have gone through a worst situation than you as regards helping my siblings both older and younger. You will have to start planning for your self and your own immediate family. You are not getting any younger and the older you are getting the more strength is leaving. Please start planning for your retirement and leave siblings alone. I did more than you did and I feels you need to have a limit to your help.
Unless you will be the loser at the end.

robedu:
I graduated quite early and at 22 i already had an okay job, my education was miraculously funded with the little meaner jobs i was doing from house girl to sale's girl, typist etc.

So when i had a job, i decided to help my other siblings both younger and elder ones get qualitative education, for 4 years i work solely to pay their fees, i had no savings, so finally last year the last one standing graduated and i thought i was going to breath fresh air.

One came to stay with me, my immediate elder brother, after his NYSC he started job hunting and couldnt get any, he came to me to explain that he wants to go into photography, that he will use that to establish himself since there are no jobs coming forth, i went ahead to buy expensive photo camera, photo light, printers and all sort of photography stuff for him. weeks pass, months pass without him making any good out of the photography business, i keep on advising him and all.

But early this year when my car started having issues, i decided to change the car, when he saw that i wanted to buy a new car, he came to me to explain that the photography business is not moving, and that i should buy a car that will be accepted in Uber, so he can be driving the car for Uber transport at the weekends when i will not be using the car, initially the car i wanted to buy wasn't uber spec, i wanted to get Lexus 350 or Prius, but because of the way he pleaded with me, i decided to buy camry 2010 which was uber spec so he can use it.

After i got the car, i taught him how to drive and he started driving the car during the weekend, later he came to tell me he can be using the car in the afternoon when i am at work then he will drop me in the morning and pick me up in the evening. this was the hardest part, i couldnt bear not having a car to move around for lunch or client meetings in the afternoon, then he begged me that if i allow him use the car in the day, in 6 months he will make enough money to buy his own car and leave me alone.

So i agreed to allow him use the car in the afternoon, it was the toughest decision have made in my life, I could no longer go for lunch except with one of my colleagues, i had to hire other uber taxi for client meetings, i couldnt have my life like before, but the troubled part was the fact that my brother became arrogant, to even take me to work with my own car became so difficult, he will hurry me to do quick let him drop me else he is going to leave me at home, he doesnt come to pick me anymore from work, i remember the day i had to wait till 11.30pm in the office because the rain was falling and he said i should just find my way, life became so difficult but i was going to bear it for the next 6 months.

But unfortunately, 3 months after he didnt come home that night but that was not the first time he will sleep out so i thought it was his usual ways, i use public transport that day to work, in the office one of his friend called that he had accident and the police said i should come, i went there and the DPO told me why i had to leave my car for somene who is so irresponsible, that he was so drunk last night when he ran into another car, he could not deny that he was driving under the influence of alcohol, i had to start begging the police who refuse to listen to our plea.

He was taken to court where i was ask to bail him out with 50,000, i spend alot of money trying to bury the case, then I had to pay all sort of damages before taking the two cars (the one he hits and my own) to repair, while all of these lasted my head was banging and i was really stressed.

After all of these the car is still being fixed at the mechanic workshop, my brother has not seen anything wrong in all he has done, no sorry whatsoever, instead he came to challenge me to hurry the mechanic to finish up repairs on time so he can start work.

I was thinking that i will not give him the car anymore, but my sister was begging i let go.

What do you think i should do.

You made a huge mistake allowing him to stay with you

You made a huge mistake sharing your thoughts on how you wanna spend your money with him

You made a huge mistake spending a lot to bury the case

I just pray he doesnt end you.

He doesnt see you as a helper, i think he feels he's entitled to all hes getting from you.

Forget the fact that blood is thinker than water. Cut ties with him. Get him out of your house. Let him know hes a man and he need to vend for himself.

Who spoon feeds a 29 yrs old. You don over pamper him jare

My dear you're a very good, love and caring sister. You've done so much despite the fact ur ingratitude brother doesn't seem to appreciate your effort but that shouldn't discourage you from showing him love. Try to talk tenderly to motivate him if lacks motivation and make him understand you love him. Afterall blood is thicker than water. You can release the car but first he has to promise he'd handle it responsibly otherwise i see no reason releasing the car if that would cost him his life.

your elder big brother has not matured....pursue him to test bita life again

OP, I fear for your life.. I hope this your irresponsible brother will not kill you to claim your property.

Best bet is to call a family meeting before you give him back the car. Yes.. I would advice you give him the car so that you can be free of him. Do this to complete the deal you had with him, afterwards you can wash your hands off his case.

Throw him to abroad for hustle..simple..

Guy wake up! U are not Jesus Christ. Family members can be a pain in the assignment and they never see what u do for them as a big deal. Pls speaking from experience, my papa trained all his brothers, they wrecked his businesses except for a few assets that sustained him till they killed him and killed one of my brothers diabolically all in the quest to get hold of his properties. Be wise.

robedu:
Renting a house is not an option now as my wedding is coming early next year, so i think i will have to put up with him till then, i would have loved to leave the car for him totally but 2 things bothers me, 1) the fact that while he is making money on the car, he cannot even repair it, if anything is wrong with the car he will leave it like that until im tired of complaining then i will fix it myself, if i leave the car i use my hard earn money to buy for him, he will let it rust, secondly, since my weding plans came up my elder sister told me our house in the vilage is in a bad state that even coming for intro will be a serious embarrassment, so i am doing some renovation, at least the roof that has all gone bad so rain will not come and be chasing inlaws on the intro or trad day, putting that house together will cost me over a million naira, and on the other hand, my fiance just started work few years ago, he was living with his parent until our engagement, so renting a comfortable house plus doing all the wedding stuff is going to be difficult for him so i have to save some money to support where i can, so in literal meaning, i need all the money i can get to plan my life, knowing none of them will offer help

Madam, you are a lady, behave like one! Ladies are meant to be taken care of by the men in her life. Why are you behaving like a Superman to your brother, family and fiance? Haba! Please learn to say NO or you will serve others all the days of your life! Learn to say NO!

Life is harsh, pls cast your brother away. After repairing the car, don't give him. Allow him to stay with you till you wed. Make sure he doesn't move in with you. When the rent of the place expires, he will find his level. However, if your fiance is moving in with you, you need to send your brother away at least 2 months before the wedding. He is a man and your elder, he should grow up and man up

robedu:
I graduated quite early and at 22 i already had an okay job, my education was miraculously funded with the little meaner jobs i was doing from house girl to sale's girl, typist etc.

So when i had a job, i decided to help my other siblings both younger and elder ones get qualitative education, for 4 years i work solely to pay their fees, i had no savings, so finally last year the last one standing graduated and i thought i was going to breath fresh air.

One came to stay with me, my immediate elder brother, after his NYSC he started job hunting and couldnt get any, he came to me to explain that he wants to go into photography, that he will use that to establish himself since there are no jobs coming forth, i went ahead to buy expensive photo camera, photo light, printers and all sort of photography stuff for him. weeks pass, months pass without him making any good out of the photography business, i keep on advising him and all.

But early this year when my car started having issues, i decided to change the car, when he saw that i wanted to buy a new car, he came to me to explain that the photography business is not moving, and that i should buy a car that will be accepted in Uber, so he can be driving the car for Uber transport at the weekends when i will not be using the car, initially the car i wanted to buy wasn't uber spec, i wanted to get Lexus 350 or Prius, but because of the way he pleaded with me, i decided to buy camry 2010 which was uber spec so he can use it.

After i got the car, i taught him how to drive and he started driving the car during the weekend, later he came to tell me he can be using the car in the afternoon when i am at work then he will drop me in the morning and pick me up in the evening. this was the hardest part, i couldnt bear not having a car to move around for lunch or client meetings in the afternoon, then he begged me that if i allow him use the car in the day, in 6 months he will make enough money to buy his own car and leave me alone.

So i agreed to allow him use the car in the afternoon, it was the toughest decision have made in my life, I could no longer go for lunch except with one of my colleagues, i had to hire other uber taxi for client meetings, i couldnt have my life like before, but the troubled part was the fact that my brother became arrogant, to even take me to work with my own car became so difficult, he will hurry me to do quick let him drop me else he is going to leave me at home, he doesnt come to pick me anymore from work, i remember the day i had to wait till 11.30pm in the office because the rain was falling and he said i should just find my way, life became so difficult but i was going to bear it for the next 6 months.

But unfortunately, 3 months after he didnt come home that night but that was not the first time he will sleep out so i thought it was his usual ways, i use public transport that day to work, in the office one of his friend called that he had accident and the police said i should come, i went there and the DPO told me why i had to leave my car for somene who is so irresponsible, that he was so drunk last night when he ran into another car, he could not deny that he was driving under the influence of alcohol, i had to start begging the police who refuse to listen to our plea.

He was taken to court where i was ask to bail him out with 50,000, i spend alot of money trying to bury the case, then I had to pay all sort of damages before taking the two cars (the one he hits and my own) to repair, while all of these lasted my head was banging and i was really stressed.

After all of these the car is still being fixed at the mechanic workshop, my brother has not seen anything wrong in all he has done, no sorry whatsoever, instead he came to challenge me to hurry the mechanic to finish up repairs on time so he can start work.

I was thinking that i will not give him the car anymore, but my sister was begging i let go.

What do you think i should do.

Nice Story..
Beautiful script and the casts are insane

robedu:
Thanks for your response, my dad is late, he's been late since i was barely 2 years old, my mom an old woman in the village, she is hypertensive and has issues with bad reports, she will just faint or become sick. have told him this over and over again, even when we were buying the photography stuffs, i said it over and over again, he even came with his friends to beg that once this is done he will be able to stand on his own, after that it was excuse that i keep receiving, i do not know why God will allow me to be stress this way for the life of me, i work hard, too hard for my age to make a living but this people kept on pressing me down like a wild force :- my mates in the office are far better than me, they live a worthy life but here i am always spending money like i uproot them from the farm becaues of family[

Don't drag God into this,blame yourself for not taking the right decision,the right thing to do is to allow him grow up in his own,you have done your part already,anything else is putting yourself in harms way and you will forever regret it.

Hehehe. I laugh in ishan. My dear, since your elder brother shamelessly refused to grow up, you better do. I'm the only male in my house and the last kid. When my 3 elder sisters boned me, I saw hell. None of them will try this. Give me car? Say wetin happen. Had no choice but to man up, face school and life. Now I have no regrets. You're spoon feeding a man and think you're helping him. Take your car back ASAP. If he can't abide by your house rules, send him out. Worst case he gets a small room and you can pay part of the initial rent. But if you continue to pamper him, you both are in for big problems.