Tochex101:


She took the words out my mouth, its very easy to scream "take your car back", " cut him loose" or "send him away" but I think you need to apply caution and wisdom for as sad as it sounds; that your brother can hurt you.
It's a pity man is soo wicked and ugly natured.

SUPERPACK:
life has no duplicate, do nt inconvienence ur self just to pls others, you have tried uq best to help ur siblings and even the devil knws that,
.
pls dnt give him that car again because he is irresponsiuble and might incure a heavier damage that u wont be able to manage, try to establish a small agricultural trade for him instead.

ifyalways:
Take the car from him. At this stage in life, all you owe him is accommodation and food and occasional pocket money, let him find his feet.

Tough love.

taryour:
SPEECHLESS. what I have in mind to tell you is harsh so make I just sit down dey look before them nairalander label me wicked.


but babe you try oo wahalai. I really commend you. God is your strength. that your elder brother ehen....

taryour:
SPEECHLESS. what I have in mind to tell you is harsh so make I just sit down dey look before them nairalander label me wicked.


but babe you try oo wahalai. I really commend you. God is your strength. that your elder brother ehen....

robedu:
I graduated quite early and at 22 i already had an okay job, my education was miraculously funded with the little meaner jobs i was doing from house girl to sale's girl, typist etc.

So when i had a job, i decided to help my other siblings both younger and elder ones get qualitative education, for 4 years i work solely to pay their fees, i had no savings, so finally last year the last one standing graduated and i thought i was going to breath fresh air.

One came to stay with me, my immediate elder brother, after his NYSC he started job hunting and couldnt get any, he came to me to explain that he wants to go into photography, that he will use that to establish himself since there are no jobs coming forth, i went ahead to buy expensive photo camera, photo light, printers and all sort of photography stuff for him. weeks pass, months pass without him making any good out of the photography business, i keep on advising him and all.

But early this year when my car started having issues, i decided to change the car, when he saw that i wanted to buy a new car, he came to me to explain that the photography business is not moving, and that i should buy a car that will be accepted in Uber, so he can be driving the car for Uber transport at the weekends when i will not be using the car, initially the car i wanted to buy wasn't uber spec, i wanted to get Lexus 350 or Prius, but because of the way he pleaded with me, i decided to buy camry 2010 which was uber spec so he can use it.

After i got the car, i taught him how to drive and he started driving the car during the weekend, later he came to tell me he can be using the car in the afternoon when i am at work then he will drop me in the morning and pick me up in the evening. this was the hardest part, i couldnt bear not having a car to move around for lunch or client meetings in the afternoon, then he begged me that if i allow him use the car in the day, in 6 months he will make enough money to buy his own car and leave me alone.

So i agreed to allow him use the car in the afternoon, it was the toughest decision have made in my life, I could no longer go for lunch except with one of my colleagues, i had to hire other uber taxi for client meetings, i couldnt have my life like before, but the troubled part was the fact that my brother became arrogant, to even take me to work with my own car became so difficult, he will hurry me to do quick let him drop me else he is going to leave me at home, he doesnt come to pick me anymore from work, i remember the day i had to wait till 11.30pm in the office because the rain was falling and he said i should just find my way, life became so difficult but i was going to bear it for the next 6 months.

But unfortunately, 3 months after he didnt come home that night but that was not the first time he will sleep out so i thought it was his usual ways, i use public transport that day to work, in the office one of his friend called that he had accident and the police said i should come, i went there and the DPO told me why i had to leave my car for somene who is so irresponsible, that he was so drunk last night when he ran into another car, he could not deny that he was driving under the influence of alcohol, i had to start begging the police who refuse to listen to our plea.

He was taken to court where i was ask to bail him out with 50,000, i spend alot of money trying to bury the case, then I had to pay all sort of damages before taking the two cars (the one he hits and my own) to repair, while all of these lasted my head was banging and i was really stressed.

After all of these the car is still being fixed at the mechanic workshop, my brother has not seen anything wrong in all he has done, no sorry whatsoever, instead he came to challenge me to hurry the mechanic to finish up repairs on time so he can start work.

I was thinking that i will not give him the car anymore, but my sister was begging i let go.

What do you think i should do.

tearoses:
OP I advise that you do either one of these 2 things

1. Leave the car at the mechanics. Tell your brother that you cannot afford to repair the car
2. Repair the car, sell it straight away and buy a car that he cant use for Uber. Tell him you cant afford to maintain a Uber quality car

You only need to use this small car until you get married next year, after which you can buy what you want.

Its unlikely he will come to you a married woman and ask you to hand over your new car for Uber then.

Next do not and I repeat do not rent an apartment with the aim he will come and live with you and your husband

The best you can do for him is to pay for your current apartment until it expires after which its between him and your landlord. So let him know now so he can start making plans.

Sometimes we unwittingly enable people not to grow up and be irresponsible.
When you stop bailing him out, then he will have to grow up and take responsibility for his life
At 29 he is not a baby.

elomepee:





God bless you. You have said it all.

byvan03:




I have the same thing in mind but OP seems too soft. If you disturb my life, I cut you off, that's how I live happily.

robedu:
Renting a house is not an option now as my wedding is coming early next year, so i think i will have to put up with him till then, i would have loved to leave the car for him totally but 2 things bothers me, 1) the fact that while he is making money on the car, he cannot even repair it, if anything is wrong with the car he will leave it like that until im tired of complaining then i will fix it myself, if i leave the car i use my hard earn money to buy for him, he will let it rust, secondly, since my weding plans came up my elder sister told me our house in the vilage is in a bad state that even coming for intro will be a serious embarrassment, so i am doing some renovation, at least the roof that has all gone bad so rain will not come and be chasing inlaws on the intro or trad day, putting that house together will cost me over a million naira, and on the other hand, my fiance just started work few years ago, he was living with his parent until our engagement, so renting a comfortable house plus doing all the wedding stuff is going to be difficult for him so i have to save some money to support where i can, so in literal meaning, i need all the money i can get to plan my life, knowing none of them will offer help

taryour:




chai sis the thing dey pain me wahalai. ELDER brother for that matter, not younger brother which would have been a little bit understandable considering that he is younger. but for this I will collect all my keys and send his sorry asS out of my house. make anybody come ask me wetin happen.

this op needs a resounding slap to wake her up to reality, chai she come turn to zombie. those ppl posting and telling her to give the brother a last chance and set him up finally. if I hear, in this kind of case the elder brother is just taking advantage and using authority over her so there will never be a last chance till she wakes her brain up else she will continue to work and sweat for the comfort of her ELDER BROTHER.

@ op abeg how old is your ELDER BROTHER

byvan03:




I tell you, too much sentiment kills. That sense of entitlement is something I discourage as soon as a relative starts showing it.

taryour:


it's so annoying. Can you imagine the guy had over 700, 000 and wrecked it till the last kobo and never gave a dime of it to his younger sis or even their mother. so what now happens if she rents him a house or set him up for the last time as they say? he will wreck it has has done to the previous funds and come for more.

@ op no fear at all. evil no fit come near you o. make a drastic decision and stick to it, you no fit come kpai ontop him matter na, wetin

don't renew your rent and don't ever let him know your new address once you get married cause mark my word and the time you are reading this post it will not stop there, he will come to your matrimonial home and keep asking and not just you but from your hubby too.

# they always have this pity look when asking like they will drop dead the next minute if you don't give the # EXCEPT a miracle happens in their life.



As for the car, if it were me, I will repair that car and sell it off and start taking public transport till I move to my husband house.

show him a different you. stop eating and buy food stuff in the house pending the time you still living under same roof. always eat better food before u get home, hide stuff in your room so you can munch on should in case you feel like taking something before you go to bed.

tell him you broke and you can't afford to cook cause you haven't been paid for months. keep less than 500 naira in your purse always. if you have to hide your extra change in your inner shorts DO IT.

Such ppl need to be put on their track else they will wreck you.

babyme1:
To everybody telling Edu to send the bro out and all, you guys dont know the kind of caring and sweet sister she is. She doesnt have the mind to cut him off so forget it.

Sis, it is well. Do what ur mind tells you till you move in with your husband. BTW congrats on d upcoming wedding

sweetcocoa:
This has nothing to do with caring and being sweet, so you think the rest of us don't love our siblings or wetin?

She's only enabling him and he'll never change if she doesn't take a firm decision to cut him him off her apron strings, you might think letting him keep being irresponsible is showing him love but it's not, it's actually doing him more harm than good.

babyme1:


I understand you perfectly, but i doubt if Op will TOTALLY cut him off as adviced. She's a softie

robedu:
I graduated quite early and at 22 i already had an okay job, my education was miraculously funded with the little meaner jobs i was doing from house girl to sale's girl, typist etc.

So when i had a job, i decided to help my other siblings both younger and elder ones get qualitative education, for 4 years i work solely to pay their fees, i had no savings, so finally last year the last one standing graduated and i thought i was going to breath fresh air.

One came to stay with me, my immediate elder brother, after his NYSC he started job hunting and couldnt get any, he came to me to explain that he wants to go into photography, that he will use that to establish himself since there are no jobs coming forth, i went ahead to buy expensive photo camera, photo light, printers and all sort of photography stuff for him. weeks pass, months pass without him making any good out of the photography business, i keep on advising him and all.

But early this year when my car started having issues, i decided to change the car, when he saw that i wanted to buy a new car, he came to me to explain that the photography business is not moving, and that i should buy a car that will be accepted in Uber, so he can be driving the car for Uber transport at the weekends when i will not be using the car, initially the car i wanted to buy wasn't uber spec, i wanted to get Lexus 350 or Prius, but because of the way he pleaded with me, i decided to buy camry 2010 which was uber spec so he can use it.

After i got the car, i taught him how to drive and he started driving the car during the weekend, later he came to tell me he can be using the car in the afternoon when i am at work then he will drop me in the morning and pick me up in the evening. this was the hardest part, i couldnt bear not having a car to move around for lunch or client meetings in the afternoon, then he begged me that if i allow him use the car in the day, in 6 months he will make enough money to buy his own car and leave me alone.

So i agreed to allow him use the car in the afternoon, it was the toughest decision have made in my life, I could no longer go for lunch except with one of my colleagues, i had to hire other uber taxi for client meetings, i couldnt have my life like before, but the troubled part was the fact that my brother became arrogant, to even take me to work with my own car became so difficult, he will hurry me to do quick let him drop me else he is going to leave me at home, he doesnt come to pick me anymore from work, i remember the day i had to wait till 11.30pm in the office because the rain was falling and he said i should just find my way, life became so difficult but i was going to bear it for the next 6 months.

But unfortunately, 3 months after he didnt come home that night but that was not the first time he will sleep out so i thought it was his usual ways, i use public transport that day to work, in the office one of his friend called that he had accident and the police said i should come, i went there and the DPO told me why i had to leave my car for somene who is so irresponsible, that he was so drunk last night when he ran into another car, he could not deny that he was driving under the influence of alcohol, i had to start begging the police who refuse to listen to our plea.

He was taken to court where i was ask to bail him out with 50,000, i spend alot of money trying to bury the case, then I had to pay all sort of d amages before taking the two cars (the one he hits and my own) to repair, while all of these lasted my head was banging and i was really stressed.

After all of these the car is still being fixed at the mechanic workshop, my brother has not seen anything wrong in all he has done, no sorry whatsoever, instead he came to challenge me to hurry the mechanic to finish up repairs on time so he can start work.

I was thinking that i will not give him the car anymore, but my sister was begging i let go.

What do you think i should do.