It's more than 20minutes, I'm still unable to put words together to begin this story. I will try keep it simple and necessarily detailed so everyone will understand the true picture of what happened, why against my belief that writing personal experiences on social media is immature, I had to still write mine. Let's just say I'm not thinking right now, maybe I'm so upset but truth is, I need your advice.

I'm writing this thread seated at the back of a Hilux truck just outside our apartment. Yaa, that me in the picture. You see, today is EID and believe me I should be resting in the house since I'm not working today. Days like this only come by 6times in a whole year and more than anything, I would have loved resting than being out here.

It was yesterday evening, she called and said she her driver were headed to my office. She wanted to pick some stuffs around my office. Yaa, I forgot to say this is Saudi Arabia. If you know Saudi quite well, you will agree with me that a husband will definitely get exhausted running errands for his wife or the family. I was not in the mood for shopping but she wanted to shop. She got upset that I didn't want to accompany her shopping.

She did her shopping alone and returned few minutes before I closed from work. We headed home. Unknown to me, I forgot my internet router in my office because I was rushing to get home and continue with my FIFA 16.
Her internet service expired some days back so we were using mine.

While playing game, she walked into the seating room and demanded for my router. Mine, not hers. With her tone and facial expression demanding the router, I didn't respond because there was an indication that she was warming up for a quarrel. I wasn't just in the mood. The thing is, she is very skilled in extending her anger phases. That is one thing I can't understand till today. Believe me, it was not like this while we were dating. Sorry, I forgot to tell you I married my university girlfriend, she years my junior and the same department. Ya, I'm one of those guys that dated and planned for the future with their girls at the same time. God blessed that plan but at this point I don't understand everything that has been happening for the past one year plus since we got married. She repeatedly demanded that I handed over my router to her but I was quiet. Meanwhile, it occurred to me that I forgot the router in my office the minute she first asked about it. Truth is, I actually needed to use the internet that night for my online FIFA.

After several times of asking for the router and no response from me, she took the TV remote and switched off the TV. She walked straight to the kitchen and hid the remote. I approached her in the kitchen and told her I was not ready for any kinda quarrel. We have had enough for the past one year of getting married. I then told her I forgot the router in my office, I didn't have it. I guess she didn't believe me, she never did. She told me to leave her alone. I returned back to the seating room with my heart beating fast. I knew she wanted a serious quarrel that night. After some minutes, I returned to the kitchen and requested for the remote. Then I figured out she hid it in her pant. Pretending I was passing by, I swiftly went for the remote from under her short gown and grabbed it. She didn't expect I knew where she hid it. She followed me behind and ceased the game console, second indication she wanted me to react. I do have a problem with my temper just like every human, male or female. I have also learnt to deal with it by walking away at times I feel I was going to lose it. The same reason I'm outside at this time, 9:55 pm Saudi time. She knows I have fought hard to tame my temper issues but most times, she makes deliberate efforts to have me overreact to her nags and rants.

I watched her hide the console in her pant yet again. I shuddered in obvious fear because I knew what the woman wanted, a fight. Unable to deal with it,the intimidation and the shame, I went for the console and squeezed it out from her hand while she was trying to hold it tight. That was when the trouble then started. She wanted a buffer to help her spill everything she had nursed in her mind. "You are a violent person!! You can kill, idiot!! You were not shown love by your parents, that is why you will squeeze your wife's hand to collect the console. They allowed you to grow up in the street without parental guidance and love." Then it came....pwaaaaaaah!!! She spat on my face!!!!! God knows, I have never been spat at before, not by my parents, not by my siblings, not by anybody. " I agree I was not shown love by my parents but your Dad is a coward for running away from your mother without being there for you guys when he needed to play his roles as a father. That explains the reason you are like this", I said and walked back to the seating room.

I managed to play a few games which I lost mostly and then slept off around past 5am this morning. Around 3pm, I woke up and went to the office. Not like I had work but I needed to clear my head away from the house. If only there was alcohol in Saudi, I would have been somewhere in a hotel drinking away the shame. When I returned home by past 7pm, hungry and tired. I needed to continue my game but I could no longer find the game console and the TV remote. I asked for it and she ignored me. I managed to eat and then left the house to this truck.

You see, I love my wife more than anything, more than anyone. She is one person in the whole world I could go any length for. I love her, that was why I forgave her when she broke up with me after I left Nigeria for Saudi Arabia. She broke up with me few months after I came to Saudi and started dating another guy twice her age. She says she never expected I would come back to her after she left me but I did. I did because I saw a future with her, a future I imagined, believed in and worked towards its reality. Today we have gotten to a level where most people out there would want to be, our colleagues envy is because they believe we are privileged and blessed but what they don't know is that in the truth, I have no peace. This marriage has become my legacy and my curse.

I want to send her back to Nigeria in few days time and I hope I'm not making a mistake!!! Spitting on my face, nah nah....am so fed up!!!!

Well pray about it, God will send you a comforter

**** I'll suggest you give her the silent treatment.

wonderfulous... well . each time u are upset with a spouse, take time out and reflect on the reasons u married her.. u will b fine or .......not

Hhmmm

Most men would have given her a beating, but you kept your cool. For that I respect and admire you. Now to the point, Yes. Please send her away. That woman hates you!

How can your own wife say that horrible thing and spat to you face?! She hates you. She have crossed the line.
You said your marriage is a curse. You are not happy at all. Neither is she. You are not making a mistake. Do it.

You are a true gentleman. You deserve better. You'll find someone to heal your wounds. Don't even waste your time for any shìt counselling. She is not the woman you fell for. That woman is gone the moment she spat. Forever.

Give her a dirty slap that will send her world spinning round for 46minutes.Next time she see you in a bad mood,she will go on her knees and beg for forgiveness.

stay away from her while this unwelcome atmosphere is between both of you

when its all over.... you have to sit her down and talk to her... ask what you did that got her angry and also tell her what she did that got you really mad... tell her very gently you dont like how she reacted... communication is key especially in marriage


respect is both ways there should be no spitting on anyone.... telling her to leave wont make things better only worse

Let bye gone be bye gone...forgive her i'm sure she 'll be remourseful where ever she is now.

Send her back before she frustrate u to kill her.

Since u av been having the issue over a year. Just tell her u want separation for a while.

She will wake up.

I can stand plenty women and their vices but I cnt stand a woman with a lose canon as tongue who will talk me down.

Spitting on my face is the height of it. She will get back to Nigeria or wherever that week.

I dnt support domestic violence but I support u send her back to her fathers house to learn sense.

Forgive

Just forgive her.

Bros 'NA MAN YOU BE"!! Chai u deserve 4 bottles of cold gulder!!! See Maturity!! 3 gbosa for you!! Just continue being patient!!!

Go to your spiritual leaders/elders for advice. A face to face counsel is way better than putting it on social media.

I don't know how Saudi deals men beating women .let me tell u when we were small my mum used to be very arrogant and rude to my dad cos he is a quiet man not until my mums mother I mean her own mum told my dad to beat her .After my dad gave her a better beating peace ,love respect came to our house since 1984 till now my mum has never raise her voice against my dad. Am not advocating women battery but a times small spanking does the magic

Giv her a good slap, then u apologize to her after some few minute. She will start respectin u.

Life is good with LG ELECTRONICS

This is so wrong and highly disrespectful. Is she a snake? Why is she spitting like a king cobra??

Please just don't send her back yet. Trash this out with her abeg. You are a MAN and need to wear the trousers of the house. Sit her down and warn her never to try that rubbish again.

You may also take her for a pregnancy test. I hear women are bitchy when preggies so it's possible that may be the reason why she is using you as spitting target.

This is insane

Oga pls forget all these sit her down and talk to her advice. That ur wife get mind and she ain't gonna change. Imagine she spat on you, in my tradition it's an abomination, she didn't even show remorse, the next day she hid your game console knowing ur attachment to it. That's to show you she ain't through with just spitting on you, she is ready to fight. Dude send her back to Nigeria obviously she lacks home training. And to even think ur marriage is still fresh. What will happen when she now has like3 kids. Boss eh ur happiness and peace of mind is top priority. Life is too short to be unhappy. Send her back asap. If you don't, then get ready, she will do worse in near future. Just mk ur plans secret till u are abt to execute.

Mehn this is deep, alaga 1 watin we go advice this our brov?....hmmm

To err is human , to forgive is divine. Anger management is very important which u ve showed. Talk to her and and let her see reasons that what she did was wrong unless she is incorrigible. Marriage is all about management no perfect marriage any where , u agree to disagree and disagree to agree . Pls try to Keep your cool

But where is lalasticlala

Just send her back.

She doesn't deserve the kind of man u are.


This is partly some of the reasons why naija brothers doesn't like travelling with their wives to foreign land and also why they don't like marrying the ones already living in foreign lands, because they just get pompous and then start misbehaving. Doing irrational things to a man u know too well that his orientation about life (naija) is different from that of where u both live. And u expect him to be happy and treat u as a wife?

The other I saw them on FB grinning about naija boys going for fat white girls, why wouldn't they go after them?

Awww.... ....so sorry
I really have to commend the fact that you have taken full charge of your temper,without holding back words you are a responsible and loving man. There is a limit,you have shown to be aware of this. Your wife has character issues. As it appears,she won't change easily. A year into marriage is too early to have numerous records of quarrels. My only fear is her been always prepared for a fight. Who is always set for a fight with hubby if not a foolish woman? Your happiness is paramount, if she offers anything less than comfort and peace, how she should return becomes the solution. However before doing this, find a good forum to express your mind,your worries,fear and the option of getting her back. Remember consolidation comes before confrontation. Don't stop loving your wife. Forgive her hurting words and don't stop praying for peace. God bless you