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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. (40850 Views)
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Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Nuahall2k14(m): 3:55pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
Mother-in-laws are not all mean... D ladies are scared because they know mother-in-laws are women like them so can see through any veil. Incase they are pretending.. They can spot out their attitudes.ladies know each oda well especially older ladies and younger ones which is d case. 4 Likes |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by baum1: 3:55pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
Empiree: Guy, you don live for den before? How u take know? Abi you study lioneeze? 1 Like |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by henriche(m): 3:56pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
Full mmsome not all.
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Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by baum1: 3:56pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
Nuahall2k14: Wow, fantastic perspective. I wish people would understand this fresh perspective. You are right bro |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Nobody: 3:56pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
A question since the inception of this forum and one chiefly asked by females. The truth is this is a stereotype mostly perpetrated by Nollywood. It happens quite alright but not rampant as home videos make it seem. Another point to make is the woman's(mother in law) level of education and state of employment. An illiterate housewife who tended to her child primarily from infancy to near-adulthood would go green with envy seeing her son treated out of the norm by his wife however a fairly educated career minded female would understand it's only a stage of life and sometimes read books to better understand how to handle the phase. With those mentioned keep in mind everyone is an individual; people may react the same way to an event but some to a lesser degree than others. Some women can naturally cope with their son tending to his personal household while to some others their whole word has ended. With this verbose explanation it wouldn't surprise me to see this same topic hit frontpage again before the year ends. 4 Likes |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by bettercreature(m): 3:57pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
JUSTbuchi:That is not funny! Remember you will also become parent at a point in life 1 Like |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by sucess001(m): 3:59pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
its the other way around...most daughter in laws are devils.... 2 Likes |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Jesusbabygirl(f): 4:00pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
Benita27:While I am inclined to agree with you, I beg to differ a little...... Seriously, the sort of mindset some of us (girls) grow up with affect a lot of things and certainly lands us in families where the mother is mean. Growing up, I always believed my mother-in-law will love me and be a nice woman and truly, though she is not a saint and I have only been married for a few months, my mother-in-law has been wonderful. I also treat her like a mother, not an in-law and she reciprocates. Sometimes, girls are also mean to their own sisters-in-law (brothers' wives) and they expect opposite treatment. People, law of karma is real!.'Do unto others what you want them to do to you'. However, if none of these apply to you, you need 'creative ways' of getting your mother-in-law's love. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by baum1: 4:00pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
orlahtohbadt: Fine point, bro. Unfortunately, what you have said is not restricted to mother in laws or to mariages alone. It happens in all spheres of life. It is called preserving self-glorification and the fear of the unknown..Something we all need work with God to rid us off. 1 Like |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Laredojohn(m): 4:01pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
It's not a general rule, not all mother inlaws display this attitude, my mum pampers my brothers wife..and sure she would do same for mine too when I get married... |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Donald7610: 4:02pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
You will get the reward of your deeds to your MOTHER IN LAW You daughter in law await you May even wish you dead before she marry your son too No be curse Nemesis |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Empiree: 4:04pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
baum1:
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Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by AreaFada2: 4:04pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
Benita27: Some foreign mother-in-laws are even worse. My ex-babe's mother opposed her son's marriage to a very nice lady. She saw her as a foreigner. Even though her Jewish ancestors have lived across Europe for over 1,500 years and in this particular Western country for about 500 years! A nice pretty professional lady. But both were in love. Even after 2 kids and about 10 years together, the mother-in-law still never warmed up to her DIL. In the West, mother in law jokes are a favourite among men in the pub/drinking joints. Na today? 1 Like |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by ascend: 4:11pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
Benita27: you just dey your house dey do wetin i no no. where you for do the research. do you know what is 80%? 1 Like |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Afam4eva(m): 4:13pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
Benita27:The problem is not with just Mother-In-laws only. It's a female problem generally. Women tend to be jealous of each other and will stop at nothing to prove to their fellow female folk that they're better especially when at an advantageous position. Some Daughter Inlaws are also guilty of treating their MILs badly. 3 Likes |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Nobody: 4:13pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
Empiree:Nice one. |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Nobody: 4:13pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
JUSTbuchi:I hope u won't complain wen her own daughter in-law celebrate her not being alive Don't forget d harvest is usually greater than the seed People and reckless words 1 Like |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Tamakay(m): 4:14pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
Which mother in-law will keep quite when these days girls think in between their legs. Imagine, coming to see ur would-be mother in law, ur have 4 earings d fifth one far up above the earlub, then a leg chain and worst of it all, they wear leggis that will show that barb-like thing brazenly and u expect ur mother in-law to keep cool. No way! |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Nobody: 4:15pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
Afam4eva:In some situations is really not about "jealousy", you just find a good wife being maltreated by her mother in-law. It's annoying. 5 Likes |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Nobody: 4:17pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
Tamakay:But they do dress decently while meeting the man's parents na. |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by sweetcocoa(f): 4:19pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
OP, it not only happens in Nigeria but nigerian own is another thing entirely. My take on the matter is that, it is a two way street as some DILs too are something else, I just really believe that no mother wants a bad wife for her son ergo, the kind of person you are, goes a long way in determining how your MIL treats you. It's just like one girl somewhere(assuming my mum was still here) will say my mother is a bad MIL, I will just know she doesn't just like my mum ni. Unless the MIL in question is a bad person who treats everyone like poo, then my sister, check yourself, if you are the only one having issues with her. Ofcourse everyone has their faults but if only some young women will treat their MIL how they do their mum's and not like a stranger trying to steal their man, there'll a be lot more peace in various homes. We have the two types of DILs in my family and believe me, I know the difference. |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Nobody: 4:19pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
AreaFada2:They don't take it to the extreme like is done here, and like i said earlier "they are more liberal". 1 Like |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Afam4eva(m): 4:20pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
Benita27:I doubt that very much. It's just how you see it from your vantage point. I believe a MIL whether rightly or wrongly has a reason she thinks is good enough to maltreat her DIL. |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by gabicon: 4:22pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
I think the reason for mother in-law n wife debacle is that men could be such babies and they sometimes make foolish decisions, a mother is always there to curtail these excesses but she doesn't trust that a young wife will do same. Li 1 Like |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Lilimax(f): 4:24pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
I know that one day I will become a mother in-law by God's grace. ***However, my experience with my mother -in-law is not palatable at all *** 1 Like |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by sweetcocoa(f): 4:24pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
Benita27:My sister, I don't know your definition of "good wife" but if it involves being nice to please only your husband, neglecting his folks, then that's not a good wife o, unless your MIL kicked against your marriage for a particular reason, then she can't just maltreat you for no reason. |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Pidggin(f): 4:26pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
This is a classic case@pix Women pretend a lot. They marry men who don't love them and they end up living a pretentious life. They endure pain in their marriages with the hope that one day may be he will change. Then when he doesn't they substitute their sons for the intimacy with a man which they missed Is this woman clinging to her son or husband? 4 Likes
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Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by HomeOfMe(f): 4:26pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
Benita27:Yes mothers are very protective of their sons;just like mother hen. But I'm lucky to have a very good and understanding mother-in-law. When I had a delay getting pregnant,five years after I had a set of twin boys,she was even more supportive than my own mother despite that I'm not even a yoruba by origin. It got to a point my husband became jealous of my closeness with his mom. I'm one of the few lucky ones I guess. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by bukatyne(f): 4:27pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
Acidosis: Sign of a victory? |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by gabicon: 4:27pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
I think the reason for mother in-law n wife debacle is that men could be such babies and they sometimes make foolish decisions, a mother is always there to curtail these excesses but she doesn't trust that a young wife will do same. A mother is the centre of her son's world and she is afraid of being thrown out but they loose the insight that the world is big enough for two. Life has taught me that the more you let go the more control you can have. |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by SycophanticGoat: 4:28pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
Benita27: Na still una wey be girls dey grow into the mother in law.. Anyway, that's none of my business. My business is, why is it that over 90% of Nigerian wives treat house boys and girls terribly, as if they aren't humans but treat their children as if they're the best in the world, even if the children are terrible set of human beings? 2 Likes |
Re: Why Are Nigerian Mother In-laws Too Mean Towards Their Daughter In-laws?. by Nobody: 4:30pm On Oct 05, 2016 |
orlahtohbadt:Thanks for the correction. At the bolded, there's no need for them to be scared of that, to an extent they seem confuse and if another woman maltreat their daughters in same manner they will be eager to fight. |
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