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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise (46602 Views)
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Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by omonnakoda: 3:32pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
Princewell2012:You lack sense. So using own pot is the solution ? and what lesson are we teaching the children. This issue of obedience or no obedience is not a European thing. It is an industrialization thing.Europe was exactly the same as us until women started going to school and started working and bringing money home. We cannot eat out akara and still have it.We either choose the stay at home wearing hijab model or we send our children to school. If we have daughters and they go to school then what tends to happen in our big cities is people tend to employ maids to cook. If you are not multimillionaire in Nigeria today and you wish to live a middle class live then there must be adjustment. Go into any bank today you will see women there till 6.00 pm sometimes 7.00 same in hospitals and so on .Many even do night shifts .You think they do not have husbands? Rather than going to foolish extremes men must be wise. There is a time for a man to humble himself and beg his wife if he wants a long marriage. The separate pot stop eating her food stuff is just childish and for villagers. Ultimately in today's world if you wanna be boss then start earning like a boss otherwise you must be very humble otherwise you will very quickly become a divorcee. Who suffers? Your children . Tolerance is the sacrifice you must pay if you want to spare your children a lot of suffering 3 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by sambisa5: 4:09pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
And now am in hot water,,,everybody attacking me cos of the social media thing..... Yes we are protected, but it is not likely you get the correct answer to the question here. . For some of us trying to say what we really feel, we are seen as 'holier than thou'. . Now, promise is a debt, if your wife ever promised you something b4 marriage and after marriage she is not keeping to it, i know is bad and if she doesn't change, she may be inviting something terrible to herself and marriage. Unlike what i understand b4 now, if she has agreed to abide by them b4 now, she should try by all means to adhere to them now, cos promise is a debt. mrk74: |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by Tedassie(m): 4:50pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
TheArchangel:smh...not sure u even understood an iota of what he wrote before running him down!
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Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by missjo(f): 5:07pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
Taryur3: seyoops4u: samuelchimmy: Nagode |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by missjo(f): 5:19pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
mrk74:Alright then, I hope you've resolved it all with your wife now. |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by mrk74: 5:39pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
kingphilip:We had a little talk though we didn't really agree where she claimed she is the vulnerable one in the relationship which is a surprise to me. I asked her to substantiate that and she said I'm always expecting her to be the one to apologize whenever we have issues. To that I asked if I should apologize when she does something that offends me and she couldn't answer. She then insisted she had apologized by telling me to stop being angry with her but it's like I don't accept that as an apology. I told her she should forget about it and she can continue using the item since it means too much to her. The issue has already been overblown. I've decided to give her more space. For now, if she is not comfortable on anything I will just let her be and I'll also only take her suggestion that I'm comfortable with. I think the ease with which I adjust makes her take it for granted. When we've gone on like this for a while I think she will realize that I also used to take inconvenience to please her at several instances. |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by Maximus85(m): 5:52pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
mrk74:. If she sees this story, she will know. |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by mrk74: 6:08pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
Maximus85:I intended for her to see this thread and I had drawn her attention to it. What I meant is that others viewing this won't know. Most especially those who know us won't know it's about us. She just told me now that the thread should be on front page by now and I told her it is and observed that it has reached 10 pages and she is laughing about it. |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by Onegai(f): 6:28pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
mrk74: Dude, you're not a bad guy and neither is your woman. I think you guys will be fine and I have a feeling she's going to put in more effort into removing that food item you hate and apologising. And I'm sure you're going to be giving her positive reinforcement (remember, if you tell her something and she doesn't do it, leave her be. She'll come and find you for your good advice when she sees it). |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by mrk74: 6:42pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
TheArchangel: Will it be wrong for him to cookit and show her how it is done instead of salivating and comparing her with his neighbour? What a childish behavior.I don't know why you choose to focus on the food issue when I had also pointed out even things that were for her own good. I believe being her husband also places a responsibility on me about her success and wellbeing. How am I selfish in resisting her insistence in using bleaching cream when I know it will hurt her? Or is it asking her to apply for sponsorship of her MSc project by an International Organization part of being selfish? Or you only wish to note what makes for your feminism? You won't even see the part where I stated that stopping her use of the item out rightly is not really the objective but to extract commitment to reduce the quantity? You don't need to sound this way to get your point through. You are entitled to your opinion though. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by mrk74: 6:56pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
Anonylander:She is laughing about the bolded right now. |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by Maximus85(m): 7:12pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
mrk74: Keep an open mind. Visit this link. It has helped millions, you're next to be enlightened. https://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/family/couples-parents/ God is the originator of marriage and if you want to enjoy marriage, he's the best person to show you how. |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by mrk74: 7:40pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
Maximus85:Thanks |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by omonnakoda: 7:56pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
Leadership is not about your title it is about your qualities. It is leadership qualities that make people listen to and follow another person whether in politics or elsewhere. It is those qualities that make women "obey" their husbands not the fact that he paid their bride price. To command followership a man must be mature in every sense of the word.Childish men seldom command respect. If your child is smoking what kind of approach is likely to change this behaviour? At the heart of this whole thread is the question , What is the nature of a marriage relationship ? I will answer that there are hundreds of different kinds of marriages but ultimately in law if not anything it is a contract which means rights and obligations ON BOTH SIDES Whether Native law,Islamic law or statute. Whichever model we choose to apply there are duties imposed on both parties. What are the responsibilities of a man in a marriage?? Let us reflect on that for a while. Especially in those kinds of marriages where a man wants to be "obeyed". Let us start with a list of just 4 duties of a man in a marriage afterall every contract must entail giving something in return for another. What I find often is many men often have no idea what their duties are and this leads to the idea that having paid a bride price they have ACQUIRED the woman as a chattel. The Islamic situation is that the woman receives an agreed payment from the man as part of the contract as well as him taking care of her needs and their children and HER MONEY is HERS. Under this kind of arrangement one is justified in seeking obedience but not when the woman is feeding his ass!! If you are paying 50-50 then it is a MERGER and not an ACQUISITION!!! 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by ElsonMorali: 8:12pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
mrk74: I'm sorry to say but your wife is proud. Unfortunately there's little you can do to change her because she's already an adult and you noticed it in her before you guys got married. Don't let this disrupt the joy of your marriage. Life's too short to stay miserable all of your married life. Focus more on what she does right and her strong points. Compliment her when she does well especially when she obeys you. Show how much you appreciate the fact that she obeys you by using different tactics like small gifts and dinner outings once a while when she's obeyed you. Soon she'll get the message and try her best to please you. In all love her with all your heart. Love does wonderful things and melts the coldest of hearts. All the best in your marriage. |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by Maximus85(m): 8:14pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
mrk74: You're welcome my brother. Keep me posted. |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by cococandy(f): 8:23pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
The Bible also says you should honor your wife. holysaint1: |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by kingphilip(m): 8:55pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
mrk74:oga don't let it get to this point please where everyone goes to his or her tent.. To me it doesn't speak well of the unity and peace of the home I don't correct people a lot when it comes to having wrong impressions and doubts but hey its your wife we're talking about here, your soulmate. Everyone shifts grounds that's understandable and probably since she doesn't voice out that much it seems she doesn't but I can assure you she does too Probably try seeking more of her opinion in many matters and just suggest if you have contrary opinion and make her see things your way or something and see if it'll work out Sometimes ago I think I read a joke or something like that where one was saying that for ones household not to have problems, the man should delegate minor issues to the wife and take major issues.. Minor issues like which meal to prepare, number of children to give birth to and all others and let the man take major decisions like who to become the president of Nigeria, who to become the next premier League champions In a nutshell bros no go that way of leaving her to herself even when you see she's going wrong just make her see reasons why she shouldn't and if she insists you tried your best and the consequences will justify you Let peace rain in your home I pray 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by olumidazz: 10:38pm On Oct 07, 2016 |
Sisi man |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by Nobody: 12:47am On Oct 08, 2016 |
engrelvis:its so easy to spot people who are actually married when they re giving marriage advice. 2 Likes |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by shadeyinka(m): 7:14am On Oct 08, 2016 |
mrk74: Her attitude will not change in the near future! Slowly over time it may..hence the man must live with her with understanding while slowly nudging her towards his goal /desire |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by eyinjuege: 8:39am On Oct 08, 2016 |
vicbummadu: You're absolutely right. Especially the last sentence in your post. Mean it! I personally don't want an apology that's not from your heart and you don't mean. Saying sorry just because it's what's expected of you and for the sake of being polite. I also appreciate when people try to make amends when wrong, even if they're too embarrassed or proud to say the word sorry. The main thing is to be truly sorry for your actions and if you are, would definitely try to make amends. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by mira4u: 8:53am On Oct 08, 2016 |
Trapnews: the most stu..pid post ever. You just narrated the lifestyle of your family, unfortunately, you think all men are like men in your family including you, who has no regard for women, hence, made your women lose their dignity. Sorry to burst your burble okemkpi |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by TheArchangel(f): 11:12am On Oct 08, 2016 |
mrk74:You don't have to respond to me na. Just stop reminding her or NAGGING about it unless you are married to a child. You sound so domineering, wTH. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by mrk74: 12:11pm On Oct 08, 2016 |
TheArchangel: metallisc: |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by TheArchangel(f): 12:47pm On Oct 08, 2016 |
mrk74:You are NAG. You can't even leave it, you have to have the last word. I even begged you not to quote me . Chaiii. I pity ur wife she dey see pepper for your hand. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by Princy13: 1:10pm On Oct 08, 2016 |
Yes, Madame Michael, the Archangel![/quote] hahahaha... This got me lolling. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by mrk74: 2:19pm On Oct 08, 2016 |
TheArchangel:Lol
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Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by TheArchangel(f): 2:40pm On Oct 08, 2016 |
mrk74:Naggy nag man . 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by mrk74: 2:53pm On Oct 08, 2016 |
TheArchangel:She'll have a good laugh at these. Lol
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Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by TheArchangel(f): 3:01pm On Oct 08, 2016 |
mrk74:What's that?? You can't just leave it. Urrgh! I barf on your behalf. 1 Like |
Re: My Wife Is Too Proud To Apologise by mrk74: 3:15pm On Oct 08, 2016 |
TheArchangel:Lol |
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