Richy4:


If you have ever been in a relationship, you will know that people say alot of things when they were on that heated argument stage....just to hurt one another....or pass their massage across.......that's why it is called misunderstanding between husband and wife... and their own case is not different from any other couple's fight....Some deny their husband sex etc...I still maintain that it is marriage..not a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship...This is the real deal....

ur so full of wisdom.

Martinez19:
if what you are saying is the truth, then this is what you are going to do:

1) say enough is enough.
2) have a talk with your wife that there should be a change in the house and she take up her roles as a wife.
3) if she refuses or argue, send her packing. Life is too short to worry unnecessarily. If you get high BP, will anyone suffer it with you? Your wife will probably remarry after you die.

"Probably" is too patronising. She might even marry his best friend.

Richy4:


You are very correct....Most of them offering solution here did selective reading...They skipped the part that implies that the woman was a nursing mother.....And jump into "start taking charge as a man bullshit"...I know how babies wakes up at the ungodly time of the night and start raising an alarm... If he wakes up by 5am daily, that means the baby is not that bad in terms of crying....Though I really hate the fact that the woman was totally capitalizing on what the OP was doing by playing the nursing mother card....

A nursing mother who insist if he doesn't cook, everyone is starving for the night, now that's absolute bullocks. C'mon now, you don't indulge people unnecessarily.

Opakan2:
so you didn't notice she was stubborn before you married her.. medicine after death

I'm not a fan of this shallow question, people change you know.

D.amnnnn!....i can't stand it!
No woman can try such with me,

....IT'S MY WAY or the HIGHWAY!!!

Opakan2:


people especially women can hide their true character till they get into a man's house, then they become uncontrollable

Anywaiz I think the OP has been too soft and gentle with the wife, why she is taking him for granted.
Women don't appreciate good, "over loving" men.. most of them want violence and guys they can't predict. it's how they are

Not necessarily violent men but principled men that do not tolerate nonsense.

Flyingngel:
multikolour post=: OP, which work do you do for a living?
which work do your wife do for a living?
who provide for.




I am a Civil servant but she is not working thou she has a Masters Degree.

You seriously mean she isnt working ,dhe sits her ass in the house all day and expects you to do all the house chores for her,you who is working??my brother,the thing is you are so weak,u have allowed her take advantage of you cos u dont want to hurt her.

My advice-man up,you are the head of that house

The truth is you love your wife more than she loves you; that's if she loves you at all. You're very fearful of loosing her and she knows it and capitalising on your timidity. Do not listen to all the post-partum depression nonsense they are talking about. She very well knows what she's doing, its a well thought out and calculated action. You can't man up anytime soon, trust me, she'll call your bluff, perhaps a couple of years down the lane when the love dwindles a bit and your insecurities are gone. Sad but true.

E be like say dem done confirm you....... Imagine doing chores daily before going to work. The jazz is strong

johnson232:

Honestly u are a weak man

My God !
You have no right to call him a weak man
Don't do that again

@Godiloveu,come and see this

johnson232:

Honestly u are a weak man

and there it is people! there lies the hard trruth

Nwogeh post:Every marriage is unique on its own and there is no advice that work wonders in all marriages. All of us has one or two things to endure in marriage and believe me many men do different things in their family just for their marriage to survive but most of them come out to say otherwise. my advice is, do everything possible to make your marriage work but don't loose your dignity as a man, don't be seen by your wife as being weak, over soft, wicked, over strict or over meek. just try and strike a balance in all. Mind ladies prefer strong men to weak ones. My wife works in a bank, I work in a private company, she wakes 5:30 and I wake 6:30, I provide, then she does the cores but I only, I repeat, I only help out when its necessary that I do so like when she is very tired, sick, heavy or when I want to surprise her, but I always make sure that she understands that I am doing her job so she should thank me for that. Abeg man up, cross your mind and make her understand that you are capable of doing anything to make her respect and reason with you. I don't believe in dominating her off course, her opinion should always count but you have the final say because we are to them what Christ is to the church....the head of the family. If you allow her continue like this, your children will follow suit to disregard your words. If snake no behave like snake, women will use it to tie firewood so act up but be kind and nice while exerting control. For now, capitalize on that thing she did and stop every help you give her in terms of house cores as a punishment for what she has done, then gradually start again with time. Make her to be the one that will be looking for peace. Define your duties in the house with her the day you will talk about it and stand on it. but don't forget that for you to achieve this, you should be able to control your sexual urge because that's one strength they have against us. if you discover their strength and smash it or counter it, they become powerless unless you begged her to marry her from onset.
Women are really difficult and unless you are married, you will never understand. Less I forget, watch this movie with her....WAR ROOM, she will change over night.



Thank you very much. I have so many Christian movie like the WAR ROOM, NOT EASILY BROKEN E.T.C thou she have not watch it i will definitely do that.

Flyingngel:
multikolour post=: OP, which work do you do for a living?
which work do your wife do for a living?
who provide for the house the more?

I asked this question because from your narration you do most of the house chore, like washing her clothes, sweeping and bathing the baby.
[/color]
you also agreed to cook[color=#006600] the soup but you declined because you have forgotten how to, if not you will have.
from the look of things she control you and every thing in the house, sorry I don't know what to say to bring solution to your problem because you gave us little information.




I am a Civil servant but she is not working thou she has a Masters Degree.

I guess she's displaying academic superiority at home.

Flyingngel:
Pls i will make this very brief. Since when i got married to my wife i have tried to be helpful in the home front but it seem she want to capitalize on that.

She has been doing these many times and i overlook, yesterday own got me mad which i begin thinking if marrying is bad. I came back frm work and she ask me to help her with our baby which i did; but when she came she now told me that i am going to cook the soup, which i told her it has been long i did that rather she can tell what what do - like preparing the ingredients then she will cook. Pls note i wake up everyday by 5am wash d plate, sweep the house and d outside even wash her cloth anything she can't.
Yesterday she said if i don't cook which i stood my ground, then we are going to sleep empty stomach and that was what she did.
My people pls is there any wrong i have done. I am a faithful husband, i assist her in anyway i can but she alway want me to submit to everything she says.
Pls help me with ur opinion because i am weak.

Modified: to those that says am lying, well it is up to you to believe but i need ur opinion. I seldom post since 2012 i registered officially here.

If u are not married, pls pray to whatever God that u serve to give u a woman that understand and respect u no matter the circumstances.

briefly: This i believe is a very crucial issue, that isn't meant to be taken lightly. You are the man of the family and at such you command respect. she is meant to be humble and respect you. i implore you sit her down and talk wisdom into her head, but if she refuses, please call the attention of her parents, let them know what has been happening in your home. if you continue to tolerate this, my brother you will end up hating the decision to marrying her.
i believe i helped with this.

The simple solution is to stop doing house chores for her (She can do them herself or get someone else like paid help to help her out). She will stop taking you for granted. How can she threaten that you all will sleep hungry if you dont cook.
Oga, that means in her eyes you are no longer a man. You are now a sissy to her.
And she even had the guts to carry out her threat of leaving you hungry just because you didn't cook. Was she ill at the time?! I personally, find it extremely hard to respect a man that condones such women. I wont respect my Hubby if he is weak. I admire him cos he is very loving but firm and strong. My ideal man.
He helps me buy things from the market sometimes but I know better than to expect him to always do it. He will just stop the help. I have tried it before. Pls be firm but loving.

I undastand your type, sir. Those men that are very domestically inclined and hard working. Truth is, most women take your type for granted till he shows her a little pepper or stops all those help. Man up. When she comes back to her senses, you can begin helping again if you wish. Or is she paying your bills and feeding you? This might account for her attitude too. Although, its wrong of her.

Flyingngel:
johnson232 post:
Honestly u are a weak man.


Bros, don't judge me like that; am just following d bible that the woman is a help Meet. I do alway this so that she will b happy and not grow old quickly and i love her.

Get her a house help pls (live in or go come). Or get washing machine or washer man/woman, dish washer etc.
This is not the correct interpretation of that bible passage of the wife being a help meet. You do not have to lose your self respect because you dont want her to grow old. Do you prefer her to grow into despising you? That's what is happening.

Flyingngel:
Pls i will make this very brief. Since when i got married to my wife i have tried to be helpful in the home front but it seem she want to capitalize on that.

She has been doing these many times and i overlook, yesterday own got me mad which i begin thinking if marrying is bad. I came back frm work and she ask me to help her with our baby which i did; but when she came she now told me that i am going to cook the soup, which i told her it has been long i did that rather she can tell what what do - like preparing the ingredients then she will cook. Pls note i wake up everyday by 5am wash d plate, sweep the house and d outside even wash her cloth anything she can't.
Yesterday she said if i don't cook which i stood my ground, then we are going to sleep empty stomach and that was what she did.
My people pls is there any wrong i have done. I am a faithful husband, i assist her in anyway i can but she alway want me to submit to everything she says.
Pls help me with ur opinion because i am weak.

Modified: to those that says am lying, well it is up to you to believe but i need ur opinion. I seldom post since 2012 i registered officially here.

If u are not married, pls pray to whatever God that u serve to give u a woman that understand and respect u no matter the circumstances.

you are not a Yoruba man!

no pain no gain. surely challenges will come but decision and determination will help you to overcome. remember the same lady, you love her before taken her to alter for marriage. my candid advice is call your wife and settle with her. real men don't complain but look for solution.
remember it takes sacrifice to be satisfied in life.
stop complaining and do what is right.

guccimilan post:





I am a graduate.














I guess she's displaying academic superiority at home.[/quote]

Bros its your fault dont start what u can not finish,u started cooking and other house chaos at ur early marriage nd now u want to stop bros its a problem and another thing i observe from ur post its like ur is the one providing for house while u are home waiting for her.

dingbang:
no he has to be violent in her case...thank you

. The fact that you would proudly approve a man being violent towards a lady he claims he loves makes me wonder about the caliber of men we v this days.
Yes she was wrong for abandoning her wifely duties but there are a numerous ways he could v called her to order without raising his hands.
The day a man hits a woman he not only loses he's respect as a man in the eyes of a woman but is also an animal

@Flyingngel Please whatever you do, please think well before doing it, d6n't just follow someone else advice because it worked for them, it might not work for you. i don't want divorce for you sir, becoming a man is not a day job, but try to be the man of the house, or maybe set your own rules that you can control as a nice man. You are not weak, youre just being too nice which she is not appreciating. Just think well and pray to God for the right path

Wait... your wife actually gave you terms and conditions for marrying her and she brought a huge part of your wedding funds? (I read your other topic). And you agreed to the conditions? I guess doing plenty domestic chores were part of her conditions. I dont pity you. You brought this upon yourself. Either correct it or live with it. She forced you to go hungry cos you didn't cook. Smh. And you didn't reset her brain with stubborn attitude too. Not beating o. Just bring on your own strong head. Eat out and bring some home n enjoy. Ignore her completely. Stop being weak. She will adjust or carry her stubbornness back to her father's house.
What kind of men and women are we breeding these days?! Gosh.

Flyingngel:
Pls i will make this very brief. Since when i got married to my wife i have tried to be helpful in the home front but it seem she want to capitalize on that.

She has been doing these many times and i overlook, yesterday own got me mad which i begin thinking if marrying is bad. I came back frm work and she ask me to help her with our baby which i did; but when she came she now told me that i am going to cook the soup, which i told her it has been long i did that rather she can tell what what do - like preparing the ingredients then she will cook. Pls note i wake up everyday by 5am wash d plate, sweep the house and d outside even wash her cloth anything she can't.
Yesterday she said if i don't cook which i stood my ground, then we are going to sleep empty stomach and that was what she did.
My people pls is there any wrong i have done. I am a faithful husband, i assist her in anyway i can but she alway want me to submit to everything she says.
Pls help me with ur opinion because i am weak.

Modified: to those that says am lying, well it is up to you to believe but i need ur opinion. I seldom post since 2012 i registered officially here.

If u are not married, pls pray to whatever God that u serve to give u a woman that understand and respect u no matter the circumstances.

Your wife is the reason many men don't help their wife's with home chores. He who has a head has no crown and the one with a crown is looking for head. If my hubby helps me with chores I will adore him like a king. However does your wife what you to look outside nìì or why is she misbehaving.

Flyingngel:
Pls i will make this very brief. Since when i got married to my wife i have tried to be helpful in the home front but it seem she want to capitalize on that.

She has been doing these many times and i overlook, yesterday own got me mad which i begin thinking if marrying is bad. I came back frm work and she ask me to help her with our baby which i did; but when she came she now told me that i am going to cook the soup, which i told her it has been long i did that rather she can tell what what do - like preparing the ingredients then she will cook. Pls note i wake up everyday by 5am wash d plate, sweep the house and d outside even wash her cloth anything she can't.
Yesterday she said if i don't cook which i stood my ground, then we are going to sleep empty stomach and that was what she did.
My people pls is there any wrong i have done. I am a faithful husband, i assist her in anyway i can but she alway want me to submit to everything she says.
Pls help me with ur opinion because i am weak.

Modified: to those that says am lying, well it is up to you to believe but i need ur opinion. I seldom post since 2012 i registered officially here.

If u are not married, pls pray to whatever God that u serve to give u a woman that understand and respect u no matter the circumstances.

certain things u overlooked during ur courtship, its either she never loved u from the start or u lured her into marriage using moni, or she is way too younger than u and u are the kind that prefers much younger girls for marriage, check out u laid a faulty foundation somehow and ignored the signs for reasons best known to you. my advice is send her packing and marry anoda woman who is willing to accord u your due respect as a man and will also be submissive.

you brought this to yourself, washing & sweeping the house on a daily basis, you really let your defence down for her to attack.

Are transgendered or what?

Flyingngel:
Pls i will make this very brief. Since when i got married to my wife i have tried to be helpful in the home front but it seem she want to capitalize on that.

She has been doing these many times and i overlook, yesterday own got me mad which i begin thinking if marrying is bad. I came back frm work and she ask me to help her with our baby which i did; but when she came she now told me that i am going to cook the soup, which i told her it has been long i did that rather she can tell what what do - like preparing the ingredients then she will cook. Pls note i wake up everyday by 5am wash d plate, sweep the house and d outside even wash her cloth anything she can't.
Yesterday she said if i don't cook which i stood my ground, then we are going to sleep empty stomach and that was what she did.
My people pls is there any wrong i have done. I am a faithful husband, i assist her in anyway i can but she alway want me to submit to everything she says.
Pls help me with ur opinion because i am weak.

Modified: to those that says am lying, well it is up to you to believe but i need ur opinion. I seldom post since 2012 i registered officially here.

If u are not married, pls pray to whatever God that u serve to give u a woman that understand and respect u no matter the circumstances.

OP, I must say this n trust me it won't get down well wit u...cos u probably married her cos she was beautiful

Btw, u made d whole mistake.... i.e u brought it all to urself!
1. Didn't u date ur wife before getting married to her?
2. What kinda work does she engage herself with that's making her forget that she's suppose to be an help-meet and not u!
Y on earth will u wake up very early to engage in the domestic chores when u have a wifey? My dear U have to man up!
3. Didn't u open that portion of the bible where it says 'woman be submissive to ur hubby for he is d head of the home'
4. Abeg who Masters degree don help for kitchen? She has such degree yet she doesn't work! So wats her level of productivity asides making babies?

OP, hold ur ground now.... before it gets out of hand! If she refuses to take up her responsibility, abeg package her back to her parents house

To all d single guys, please learn from this OP's mistake!
Before u get married to any woman, ensure she sleeps over at ur house over the weekend atleast twice in a month.

And if she comes, allow her meet ur apartment unkempt once in a while and see her reaction...

#maopinion

pweetychyka post:

OP, I must say this n trust me it won't get down well wit u...cos u probably married her cos she was beautiful

Btw, u made d whole mistake.... i.e u brought it all to urself!
1. Didn't u date ur wife before getting married to her?
2. What kinda work does she engage herself with that's making her forget that she's suppose to be an help-meet and not u!
Y on earth will u wake up very early to engage in the domestic chores when u have a wifey? My dear U have to man up!
3. Didn't u open that portion of the bible where it says 'woman be submissive to ur hubby for he is d head of the home'
4. Abeg who Masters degree don help for kitchen? She has such degree yet she doesn't work! So wats her level of productivity asides making babies?

OP, hold ur ground now.... before it gets out of hand! If she refuses to take up her responsibility, abeg package her back to her parents house

To all d single guys, please learn from this OP's mistake!
Before u get married to any woman, ensure she sleeps over at ur house over the weekend atleast twice in a month.

And if she comes, allow her meet ur apartment unkempt once in a while and see her reaction...

#maopinion



Thank you. We dated but am telling u human being can change must especially when they are married.
[/quote]

BrownCookie:



I am a lady please.

Can't you see he's a confused and *weak* man

It is better I stay single than to marry and get eternal heartbreak.
To hell wif marriage.