Acidosis:


Bro, you deserve to be worried, pained and confused. Don't allow any hypocrite make you feel like you're imhumane.

Whether it happened 1000 years ago, it doesn't matter. If these folks found out that their ex slept with a dog some 50 years ago, they would still find a way to show their dissatisfaction to the said ex.

If I were in your shoes, I would be devastated as well.. It doesn't matter whether she confessed or I discovered myself.. the knowledge of what happened is all it takes to get one pained, so don't feel stu p!d or heartless.

Now to the real issue, I think you're worried that the said relationship with her cousin might continue even after a proper wedding with you. Whether you like it or not, you would henceforth feel insecure to have that cousin close and alone with your woman. Nobody welcomes such, except of course, the online "e-doesn't matter" e-pocrites.

The big question is: do you love your woman? Yes, right? Love is one aspect, do you trust your woman? Note, anybody can love, but trust is expensive. You have to be sure you trust her 100%.

Having said that, it's time to get your mind off the relationship with her cousin. It would be difficult but you have to try.

If you discover however at any point that moving on would be difficult, gently back out! This is marriage, not a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. You will continue to meet her cousin, he will attend your wedding and probably offer you a handshake... Can you bear it?

Other days, he will stop by at your house when you're not around to say hi. Yes, it is true you now trust your wife, but do you trust the guy enough to share the same remorse with your wife? Has he repented and moved on?

My respect goes to your woman though. That's one hell of a secret 99.9% of her fellow will take to the grave. She has done her part... Now can you do yours? If your answer is yes, go ahead and marry her.

This is succint and very apt advice.

MIB1:
My fiancee confided in me two days ago that she had an incest relationship with her cousin yrs back. She said she told me cos she loves me and wouldn't want to hide anything from me. I love her too and still want to marry her but I am devastated by the news

She said she has fasted and asked God for forgiveness.

I have prayed on her behalf too severally,

I am supposed to come to Nigeria for our wedding next month . pls help nairalanders. I feel so pained . I need wise counsel .

na cos she be woman
man dey do am and ...nothing dey happen... (in 2baba's voice)
so dis...no be lie, hear am (in 2baba's voice)
buh chill guy, go dey enjoy your girl
buh one eyes on that her coz sha o, so im no go become a curse for your union
SOLUTION: keep him at an arms length. never so close. I'm talking from life experience. cheers

MIB1:


I love her , trust her , and still want to marry her . But how do I move past this and forge ahead .

Deep down, you don't trust her much. If you are still worried about it, QUIT!. Marriage is different from boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. There are days the love would fade off, you'd be left with trust... I pray you don't remember this her affair with her cousin on that day. Try and forget about it so you can enjoy your marriage.


Some girls though...

Posting it on Naira land won't change anything, it will instead leave you more devastated due to the diverse and misleading opinions you will get...

As a Christian , God is whom you should pray to And He's the only one who can heal and grant you everlasting joy and peace of mind with regards to the situation..

kindly get off from listening to people's opinion and turn on to the scriptures .

Shalom!!!

kratoss:
So dis is even an issue.... Is dis a cultural tin or religious tin cuz m very sure we muslims marry our cousins.... And in my dictionary incest shud be ur blood sister sharing both or either parents..

cos you muslims do it doesn't make it proper

Any form of carnal knowledge with an immediate family member is considered incest

@MIB1. She has been honest with you about it so there's no reason for you to be bothered about it and since she opened up,there's little chance of her messing up again.
..besides Cousin-Cousin marriages and relationships are not regarded as incest and are legal in many countries in the world. It used to be most common type of marriage in Europe and Asia .It's just that it lost its popularity in the late 20th Century after WWII.
And...surprisingly the Bible doesn't prohibit Cousin marriages or relationships. Unless you're a Catholic...A pope in the 6th Century banned it

tonyfran:



Olosho spotted!. Op if you can't handle it move on. I don't understand why cousins will have sex

I know a muslim Hausa guy that married his cousin. It's not a taboo to him.

O

MIB1:
My fiancee confided in me two days ago that she had an incest relationship with her cousin yrs back. She said she told me cos she loves me and wouldn't want to hide anything from me. I love her too and still want to marry her but I am devastated by the news

She said she has fasted and asked God for forgiveness.

I have prayed on her behalf too severally,

I am supposed to come to Nigeria for our wedding next month . pls help nairalanders. I feel so pained . I need wise counsel .

If you love her, do not marry her. For you to have brought this issue up here, you are really pained. I believe you will continue to refer to this issue if you eventually marry her. This would eventually ruin her and the marriage.

If you love her deeply, just advise her to forget about you and never mention the incest relationship to anyone willing to marry her. The truth is bitter....

Joavid:
This thread is a lesson. never do things you will regret or that will jeopardise your future.

I'm wondering though, why someone would sleep with their cousin.

The Power of "Horniness". Word's got so much authority and power. Same Reasons Fathers sleep with daughters.

Must you tell the whole world about this? Na wa for you o


Abet who get fresh cucumber for house make she borrow me, my dis thing dey scratch me

MIB1:


My worry is that , this is incest

oga which incest...assuming she no tell u nko?? well i blame her since her mouth no dey stay 1 place...all ladies in d house pls n pls from 2day onward dnt share ur secret with any man..evn if u get chicken pox for ur yansh..i repeat do not tell him..

that she told you shows her honesty and openness, if she has forgiven herself, and since she has prayed God has forgiven her also. my suggestion is you forgive her too and move on, the truth is she could have kept it to herself till her grave, don't make it difficult for her to confide in you in the future. and pls stop thinking or talking about it so that you can forget. I wish you a happy married life in advance.

Majikals:
You are a lucky man finding such an honest spouse... She has confessed her errors before her maker and even you. Go ahead with your marriage with her cos she's a good woman. We have all made terrible errors at some point in life. Only a scarce few are bold enough to confess his /her deepest errors the way ur fiancee just did.
About the spiritual implications u are kinda worried about, if truly you are a Christian as u rightly said, I believe the Bible says he /she that confesses and believe is redeemed..You have nothing to fear

Best comment on this thread. God bless you for this comment bro. It shows you are truly rooted in the word of God

Acidosis:


Bro, you deserve to be worried, pained and confused. Don't allow any hypocrite make you feel like you're imhumane.

Whether it happened 1000 years ago, it doesn't matter. If these folks found out that their ex slept with a dog some 50 years ago, they would still find a way to show their dissatisfaction to the said ex.

If I were in your shoes, I would be devastated as well.. It doesn't matter whether she confessed or I discovered myself.. the knowledge of what happened is all it takes to get one pained, so don't feel stu p!d or heartless.

Now to the real issue, I think you're worried that the said relationship with her cousin might continue even after a proper wedding with you. Whether you like it or not, you would henceforth feel insecure to have that cousin close and alone with your woman. Nobody welcomes such, except of course, the online "e-doesn't matter" e-pocrites.

The big question is: do you love your woman? Yes, right? Love is one aspect, do you trust your woman? Note, anybody can love, but trust is expensive. You have to be sure you trust her 100%.

Having said that, it's time to get your mind off the relationship with her cousin. It would be difficult but you have to try.

If you discover however at any point that moving on would be difficult, gently back out! This is marriage, not a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. You will continue to meet her cousin, he will attend your wedding and probably offer you a handshake... Can you bear it?

Other days, he will stop by at your house when you're not around to say hi. Yes, it is true you now trust your wife, but do you trust the guy enough to share the same remorse with your wife? Has he repented and moved on?

My respect goes to your woman though. That's one hell of a secret 99.9% of her fellow will take to the grave. She has done her part... Now can you do yours? If your answer is yes, go ahead and marry her.

most stupid advice I HV heard in my life, we bro she and the cousin have already grown out of that moreover, she told u and still HV confessed to her creator, case closed go ahead and do the needful if u love her.

notoriousbabe:
Must you tell the whole world about this? Na wa for you o


Abet who get fresh cucumber for house make she borrow me, my dis thing dey scratch me

i get, come and take it

Joavid:
This thread is a lesson. never do things you will regret or that will jeopardise your future.

I'm wondering though, why someone would sleep with their cousin.

@ the bolded, my cousin has been professing love for me for a while now and when I asked her what she wanted out of such a relationship, she bluntly said sexx.

The way I ran for my dear life ehh, Bolt dey learn

It's just not right mehn

Evaberry:
op marry her jhur
I dated my cousin back then but I'm still living well
what of countries like China that cousins get married to each other.
nothing wrong in dating cousins

Just when we thought we've seen it all on Nairaland!

chuksjuve:
Posting it on Naira land won't change anything, it will instead leave you more devastated due to the diverse and misleading opinions you will get...

As a Christian , God is whom you should pray to And He's the only one who can heal and grant you everlasting joy and peace of mind with regards to the situation..

kindly get off from listening to people's opinion and turn on to the scriptures .

Shalom!!!

you're not wise

Even kings that God grants privilege to receive bow and worship of men which only He should have counsels

The bible also made mention of elders and living creatures serving as counsels to papa God Himself

so what's your point

Some Women sha, with itching mouth in the name of confession, abi na love.

Some things are better left unsaid.

What you don't know can never bother you.

t111:


You both can go for delivance in a delivance church coupled with fasting because def the spiritual implication still stands,an alter had been built on that regard so it has to be broken.

Na hunger punishment be fasting o-o. Op, never follow this advice....

We consign fasting and deliverance for the matter? Ehh?

Chongaiman:
OP, what of the ones you have "chopped" before and refused marry? I don't think their husbands too will have any good relationship with you. What goes around...

It is totally different , he can stop her from seeing an ex who is not related to her but can he stop her from seeing her cousin or the cousin from seeing her , more so events will surely bring them together.

It's ok to leave her now and move on, if you want to. That's your choice. But if decide to marry her and then revisit this revelation, God may punish you instead of her. She has probably atoned for her sin and that's a sign of strength and not weakness. She is ready to love you entirely without leaving anything behind and that means that she is a bold and courageous lady. What kind of woman would you rather marry? The one who told you the truth or the one who kept something like this from you?

Anyways, the choice is yours. Take her or leave her

MIB1:


She said it happened once.

Once on be relationship na

guy dont make silly mistake,she confide to you because she is afraid you might know someday.you are going to live with it to the rest of your life.better go and look for another person to marry and live in peace rather than in pieces.u will regret it if you go ahead bet me.

MIB1:


Long before we met .. About 6 yrs ago

Maybe pained is not.the right word

I'm just scared of the spiritual aspect like curses or something besides I know I will never have any good relationship with that cousin of hers

You said you have prayed on her behalf, and she has also fasted and prayed.
Then why doubt that the blood of Christ has not cleansed her from all unrighteousness
I advise you to move on. God has forgiven and forgotten.

rinzylee:




I wish she said it earlier... . Time has a way of helping one forget ills. This is one freaking month to the wedding. I would be visibly shaken

You are right though but if she had stomached that secret like most people naturally would have done, and you heard it from a different source when you are already miles into the marriage, you will feel a 1000 times worse than how you are feeling now.
The ball is in your court chief.

All these religious folks eh. Na wa o. Who never sin before? Abeg Gerarahia mehn!

Alariwo2:


cos you muslims do it doesn't make it proper

Any form of carnal knowledge with an immediate family member is considered incest

Oga derz no place i mentioned it being proper or not proper, but go n browse anywhere incest varies with traditions, and that ur tradition forbids it dsnt mke it improper too.. ... U can start with Wikipedia

charzy26:
most stupid advice I HV heard in my life, we bro she and the cousin have already grown out of that moreover, she told u and still HV confessed to her creator, case closed go ahead and do the needful if u love her.

Most stupid comment I've read in a while

There is nothing to be scared of she has repented already Wat if she didn't tell u, and in the Bible people even married their cousins

MIB1:


She said it happened once.

And you believed. Who licks sugar once?

kratoss:


Oga derz no place i mentioned it being proper or not proper, but go n browse anywhere incest varies with traditions, and that ur tradition forbids it dsnt mke it improper too.. ... U can start with Wikipedia

Ok

The OP should dump that girl ASAP else he'll end up in deep regrets later in life
The girl is simply worthless.. whether she opened up or not