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Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? - Romance - Nairaland

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Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by Beabeth(f): 5:15pm On Jun 15, 2017
can't be friends with someone I love and still care for. Even though the relationship doesn't work out and the two of you aren't meant to be, caring about that person, loving them doesn't just go away. Being friends comes after healing. Tried it, I had to stop talking and being friends all together. Someone will start dating and have a new relationship. Old feelings will get in the way. So in my opinion it can work only if two people no longer have feelings.

Let’s just be friends definitely don’t mean this: Let's have a platonic friendship in which we ignore the feelings we once had for each other and even those we still have. I'll talk casually to you about the girls I'm dating because the fact we're just friends means it won't hurt you that I've moved on so quickly.

When a woman says to an ex let's just be friends straight after a break up, she usually means:
I'm not ready to let go

When a guy says let's just be friends straight after a break up he means:

1. I'm over the relationship but let's keep having sex without commitment.

2. I don't want to be in a relationship with you but being just friends might soften the blow of separating.

3. I'm on the fence about our relationship, but I'm too much of a coward to break it off with you completely even though I know nothing healthy can come from staying in touch.


4. It really means he wants to keep u around until he finds something better or what he thinks is better. Some have that grass is greener syndrome.


http://www.xobeabeth.com/2017/05/is-it-ever-ok-to-be-friends-with-your-ex.html
Re: Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by thesicilian: 5:16pm On Jun 15, 2017
I'm friends with almost all my exes.

1 Like

Re: Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by Kondomatic(m): 5:25pm On Jun 15, 2017
thesicilian:
I'm friends with almost all my exes.
Exces?


Nah investment?

5 Likes

Re: Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by OZAOEKPE(f): 5:28pm On Jun 15, 2017
The straffing is always at the peak...

1 Like

Re: Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by jworos(m): 5:33pm On Jun 15, 2017
thesicilian:
I'm friends with almost all my exes.
Took the words right outta my mouth.
We chill and talk very well, no strings attached.

3 Likes

Re: Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by NairalandCS(m): 6:23pm On Jun 15, 2017
Aswear that 'we use to date but we no longer dating sex's dey sweet die! grin
Re: Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by sammieguze(m): 6:27pm On Jun 15, 2017
So, because we no longer date now means we should be enemies?

Any, depends on the circumstances that led to the breakup
I however only have one ex and we re still very very good friends despite the fact that we both re in our respective relationships

1 Like

Re: Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by thesicilian: 6:58pm On Jun 15, 2017
Kondomatic:
Exces?


Nah investment?
Lol.
More of, 'experiment'. If it doesn't work out, each moves on to the next relationship.
Re: Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by thesicilian: 7:00pm On Jun 15, 2017
jworos:
Took the words right outta my mouth. We chill and talk very well, no strings attached.
Yeah. That's how we roll.

1 Like

Re: Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by Nizox(m): 7:12pm On Jun 15, 2017
sammieguze:
So, because we no longer date now means we should be enemies?

Any, depends on the circumstances that led to the breakup
I however only have one ex and we re still very very good friends despite the fact that we both re in our respective relationships
No it's not being enemy, but saving ur heart, saving it from the emotional torture of accepting the reality of never being with who it desires. Like u rightly sed it depends on the circumstances around the breakup and mostly the party who initiated the break up, cos we know how it plays out. It's best understood dat if letting go and cutting all connections means achieving the best for oneself, one should not only be OK with not being friends with their exes but perfect with never talking to them again.

2 Likes

Re: Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by sammieguze(m): 7:32pm On Jun 15, 2017
Nizox:

No it's not being enemy, but saving ur heart, saving it from the emotional torture of accepting the reality of never being with who it desires. Like u rightly sed it depends on the circumstances around the breakup and mostly the party who initiated the break up, cos we know how it plays out. It's best understood dat if letting go and cutting all connections means achieving the best for oneself, one should not only be OK with not being friends with their exes but perfect with never talking to them again.
I quite understand your point
However, personally, I still think it's childish to sever all communication with an ex simply coz she is an ex except
1. If he or she asks for it
2. If being friends jeopardize your present relationship

All my exes have played very important roles in my life for which I am eternally grateful for and the fact that the relationship didn't work out due to irreconcilable differences means we re still very good friends irrespective of us being in different relationship
And so far, av been v lucky to meet girls who understand the kinda relationship that exists between me and my ex as being pure platonic so, all parties re good

Like I said however, it is based purely on my own experiences so far

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by Nizox(m): 9:32pm On Jun 15, 2017
Perhaps you're one of those wired with robust emotional ability to numb pains such as break up, while you are blessed with such rare gift other aren't, which leaves them vulnerable. Getting back together as friends (platonic friend) as u call it is not the real issue. The big deal is would the heart accept this truce? cos it has its own tricks which includes making vital love decisions without informing u. seeing and communicating with exes would only stair up old feelings that comes with being friends, this feeling ought to be buried cos the heart deserve its peace.
Re: Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by Nobody: 9:37pm On Jun 15, 2017
NO!!!
Re: Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by lammylam(f): 11:02pm On Jun 15, 2017
i see nothing wrong in bin friends with an ex!

if we can't work out as lovers we could work out as frnds! my ex and i are good frnds we keep in touch and we cool
Re: Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by Nobody: 11:49pm On Jun 15, 2017
yes..supported. they should come out clean

mean while you can buy your TBC now at an affordable price.call 0813 870 5763
Re: Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by Gpopsicle(m): 9:32am On Jun 16, 2017
Beabeth:
can't be friends with someone I love and still care for. Even though the relationship doesn't work out and the two of you aren't meant to be, caring about that person, loving them doesn't just go away. Being friends comes after healing. Tried it, I had to stop talking and being friends all together. Someone will start dating and have a new relationship. Old feelings will get in the way. So in my opinion it can work only if two people no longer have feelings.

Let’s just be friends definitely don’t mean this: Let's have a platonic friendship in which we ignore the feelings we once had for each other and even those we still have. I'll talk casually to you about the girls I'm dating because the fact we're just friends means it won't hurt you that I've moved on so quickly.

When a woman says to an ex let's just be friends straight after a break up, she usually means:
I'm not ready to let go

When a guy says let's just be friends straight after a break up he means:

1. I'm over the relationship but let's keep having sex without commitment.

2. I don't want to be in a relationship with you but being just friends might soften the blow of separating.

3. I'm on the fence about our relationship, but I'm too much of a coward to break it off with you completely even though I know nothing healthy can come from staying in touch.


4. It really means he wants to keep u around until he finds something better or what he thinks is better. Some have that grass is greener syndrome.


http://www.xobeabeth.com/2017/05/is-it-ever-ok-to-be-friends-with-your-ex.html

Well I see nothing wrong in still keeping in touch with your ex but there should be limits. Just as one of us has rightly said it becomes a necessity to cut all ties when it jeopardizes your relationship..

Let me use my previous relationship as a case study. Initially I never had issues with boo(now my ex) keeping in touch with her ex but it became so obvious that she was still into him to the extent of going to visit him and spending quality time.. She calls him at odd hours, sends romantic messages and all. it was obvious the feelings was still there. After accosting her she would feel remorse, shed crocodile tears and still repeat the same thing over and over again..
It got so complicated that I had to share on this forum to get advice..

At that stance, I requested that she excommunicated herself from him but since she found it difficult I had to let go.. So many other things too contributed to the break up.

My point is, there is nothing wrong in keeping contacts with your ex so as long it doesn't negatively affect your current relationship..

2 Likes

Re: Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by Monalisa185(f): 9:36am On Jun 16, 2017
there's nothing wrong with being friends with your ex...

1 Like

Re: Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by JoeCutie(m): 9:34am On Jun 26, 2017
Monalisa185:
there's nothing wrong with being friends with your ex...
You got mail!
Re: Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by Monalisa185(f): 12:54am On Jul 30, 2017
JoeCutie:
You got mail!

gotcha
Re: Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by uyisteven(m): 1:48am On Jul 30, 2017
****
I could be friends with my Ex'z...But they can't be friends with me.. .
.
Bn told am damn too sweet.. Dey might end up missing some taste buds feelingz...
Re: Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by Nobody: 3:45am On Jul 30, 2017
I don't know about anyone else but I tried that shit and I cut it off myself. Just had to let her go live her life.
Re: Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by MissRaine69(f): 5:19am On Jul 30, 2017
Depends on the maturity level of both individuals.
From a personal level , yes I have had closure and there was no animosity when things ended.
Re: Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by vicben27(m): 3:57pm On Jul 30, 2017
frnds frm a distance is OK! by me, the once in while hi is fine by me, like checking up on them once in 2 or 3month interval I don't want any lady showing up on my wedding day with a gun wen the pastor ask 'is there any reason why this two shud nt be joined in holy matrimony. so I try to be nice as possible dou I parted peacefully but I always love bin careful. some of them still wants us to hook up but man Don hang boot I'm retired
Re: Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by vuc1(m): 10:07pm On Jul 31, 2017
lammylam:
i see nothing wrong in bin friends with an ex!

if we can't work out as lovers we could work out as frnds! my ex and i are good frnds we keep in touch and we cool
With some benefits right? Maybe I should try it
Re: Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by Nobody: 10:09pm On Jul 31, 2017
I don't see anything wrong with being friends with an ex, ex doesn't make them enemy, you might need their help in future.
Re: Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by Optional2(f): 10:10pm On Jul 31, 2017
friend zoning things.
Re: Is It Ever OK To Be Friends With Your Ex? by iammartinwong13: 11:51pm On Sep 21, 2021
Cutting an Ex off doesn't make them an enemy, but the first thing one should consider is his/her emotional involvement with the ex. If you still have feelings for them, being friends with them will only hurt you and slow you down from moving on.

This is not the same for everyone because it might not be their first love or relationship and they might have been used to heart breaks or maybe the relationship wasn't so strong.

Being a friend with someone who you love so much will hurt you in the long run because you will still have that sense of attachment with them and feel bad within yourself when you see them with someone else.

If you ended up becoming a friend to your ex lover, someone you once cherish and meant the whole world to you, it means the love wasn't so strong or it never wasn't there.

Best solution is to move on but no as an enemy. In such a way that when you guys meet up years later, you can still talk to each other and still exchange pleasantries.

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