₦airaland Forum

SPEEDEPITOME:
So I went to stay at some big brothers' place last weekend and they talked about their relationship issues. One common point in all of their stories was they spent money on their girlfriends and they still left. One of them started dating a girl when she was in 200l, saw her through school, he even got her a laptop for her final year project and after graduation, he spent over 500k on helping her move to a city and start up her business and that was the end of them. He tried with another girl, same thing happened. All of these guys have similar stories.

When I pointed out that they were probably victims of scam, one of them said ' spending on my girlfriend is normal coz she's my responsibility and that does not make me a 'mugun'.

I then came to the conclusion that these girls probably never liked them but chose to stay with them because they were their 'source of livelihood'.

My advice to the ladies, please if you will not stay with a guy, just let him go. Most guys except few like these guys will punish another random lady for your own sin.

My main advice is to the guys: when chasing a girl, stop putting money first. Try to establish friendship and not the I-can-take-care-of-your-needs attitude if not, you'll keep attracting scammers. Reason being that, you lured them with money and that's all they'll be after. These ladies will go as far as marrying you and leave when they are done with you.

Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't take care of your girlfriend but let money not be the reason ladies fall for you. Show them some other side of you. It could be your sense of humour, your level of intelligence or anything.

Every guy has that one thing that's gonna keep people attracted to them. What I'm asking is that guys should bring something other than money to the table else your partners will keep cheating on you with guys who are 'poor' coz contrary to what you think, money is not everything.

PS: I know there are no straightjacket rules as to how a relationship should be run .
My conclusion is based on personal experience, observation, talk with guys and my recent discussion with these 4 friends.

You are right

pansophist:
It is easier to blame women without introspecting on our features that warranted such (their materialism as the prime motive to date). In as much as I am not excusing materialism, I know that when a man is worthy, by being worthy, I mean that he is well-educated, dresses well, speaks intelligently and eloquently, takes care of himself (no pot belly and goes to the gym, well-toned), nice teeth and has a career prospect, you will effortlessly meet high quality women that wont need a damn shillings from you. It is about quality, and as the rules of nature implies, likes attract likes.

Only men that has nothing to offer, with a mountainous low self-esteem and the opposite of everything I mentioned before thinks that woman are solely after money. When you have nothing to of essence and tangibility to offer, then its tactful to settle and milk the money you have, until either you finally become smart to leave, or you become broke and she leaves. it is that simple. My advise to men is to work on yourself, and the women, quality one will come.

Thank you for this, how about we men allow women come to us and maybe spend on us too, why do we think some women go for mature and well behaved guys whether they have money or not, some men lack necessary qualities to entice women hence they resort to materialism to cover up their weakness, if you give a women money for her to like you i doubt you should complain when the money finishes and she goes, let men try find other attractions for themselves rather than money.

NubiLove:
This is something I realized years back, but the problem is a lot of guys would NEVER accept that money is not everything.

How old are those guys?

30-35

rukis360:
must u show you're a gold digger everywhere, is it not ur mate that are financially independent.... Karashika

Unfortunately for your poor soul, I'm financially independent.

My head is too hot to drop a comment, anyways i just know you can't eat your cake and have it it has never happened before.

Kudos to the op, One of the best thread I would read even by extension coming from a lady.. You couldn't have said it any better.

ScotFree:
Where has this OP speedepitome been? All the while the brainless girls were busy posting trash here. Once in a while you come across a female whose only thing of value isn't their sex organ. This one thinks, is wise and defintely mature and of good morals.

At OP, not saying you're a pastor or holy woman . Just sayig you're one of the sensible few left.

Awww
Thanks.

They should stop being gullible and minimize their love for money

illuminated93:
Guys often make the mistake of appearing as beings with low self esteem. Most guys think of the female as a high and mighty queen that should be pleased at all times,so they go as far they can,even borrowing money from friends just to make her happy. If a guy considers himself special,he has his self esteem intact, he is in control of his relationship,he is the man,he knows that his girlfriend is lucky to be with him,just as he is lucky to have her around, when he wants to spend big, he does, when he wants to spend small,he does, he doesn't act wholly according to the dictates of his girlfriend,he has his common sense intact. It's about time guys know that the girl they love is truly lucky to gain their love and trust. A guy should help because he wants to,not because she's compelling you to or because you think,by helping she would love you more, that's a lie. Guys, don't beg for love!

Exactly..Exactly..Well said.

SPEEDEPITOME:
So I went to stay at some big brothers' place last weekend and they talked about their relationship issues. One common point in all of their stories was they spent money on their girlfriends and they still left. One of them started dating a girl when she was in 200l, saw her through school, he even got her a laptop for her final year project and after graduation, he spent over 500k on helping her move to a city and start up her business and that was the end of them. He tried with another girl, same thing happened. All of these guys have similar stories.

When I pointed out that they were probably victims of scam, one of them said ' spending on my girlfriend is normal coz she's my responsibility and that does not make me a 'mugun'.

I then came to the conclusion that these girls probably never liked them but chose to stay with them because they were their 'source of livelihood'.

My advice to the ladies, please if you will not stay with a guy, just let him go. Most guys except few like these guys will punish another random lady for your own sin.

My main advice is to the guys: when chasing a girl, stop putting money first. Try to establish friendship and not the I-can-take-care-of-your-needs attitude if not, you'll keep attracting scammers. Reason being that, you lured them with money and that's all they'll be after. These ladies will go as far as marrying you and leave when they are done with you.

Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't take care of your girlfriend but let money not be the reason ladies fall for you. Show them some other side of you. It could be your sense of humour, your level of intelligence or anything.

Every guy has that one thing that's gonna keep people attracted to them. What I'm asking is that guys should bring something other than money to the table else your partners will keep cheating on you with guys who are 'poor' coz contrary to what you think, money is not everything.

PS: I know there are no straightjacket rules as to how a relationship should be run .
My conclusion is based on personal experience, observation, talk with guys and my recent discussion with these 4 friends.

When next u wanna spend foolishly...look at the average 40 year old Nigerian woman and see if her physical form makes u loose your senses....then think of what 500k invested wisely would amount to in the same time period.. Then u will reset.

[quote author=rheether post=57949415]Unfortunately for your poor soul, I'm financially independent.shut up dere jor,financial kor independent ni,cos one smelly toto u hav u cum here dey talk trash.die biko

jfleece:
Bros u too get sense, if we were in the same location I for buy u willems and pepper soup....

Deadshot:
Oga lefulefu how far whywhyogun

haba why call dat name in here? u want make e come start to dey stalk me again

@ SPEEDEPITOME pls tell d ladies 2 . To stop running after rich guy.....

Like the idiot that kept spending on my sister even as she kept giving him signs that she wasn't into him..... She ended up using him to start up her life after service year and got married to her husband...Dude wasted two years of resources on her for nothing!

the only resource I can waste on any girl is my sperm. Which in actual fact I don't consider a waste as too much of it in the body gives an upset stomach for me

illuminated93:
Guys often make the mistake of appearing as beings with low self esteem. Most guys think of the female as a high and mighty queen that should be pleased at all times,so they go as far they can,even borrowing money from friends just to make her happy. If a guy considers himself special,he has his self esteem intact, he is in control of his relationship,he is the man,he knows that his girlfriend is lucky to be with him,just as he is lucky to have her around, when he wants to spend big, he does, when he wants to spend small,he does, he doesn't act wholly according to the dictates of his girlfriend,he has his common sense intact. It's about time guys know that the girl they love is truly lucky to gain their love and trust. A guy should help because he wants to,not because she's compelling you to or because you think,by helping she would love you more, that's a lie. Guys, don't beg for love!

such guys are deemed proud. although they still get many ladies who complain about them

I'm not saying spending money on your gf is a bad idea but some girls make it clear that d money is all they want. Those are the girls I try as fast as I can to bleep them many times within a short period and im done.

kimbra:
The one that spent 500k on a gf was stupid!.

Spend on her but wisely.

500k is not big money, it depends on your purse. These guys are financially stable.

Story for the gods ooo. No Nigerian babe will stay with a guy who does not have money, but has good sense of humour. Gone are those days.Babes of nowadays dont care. You must have cash for a babe to stay with you.

SPEEDEPITOME:
So I went to stay at some big brothers' place last weekend and they talked about their relationship issues. One common point in all of their stories was they spent money on their girlfriends and they still left. One of them started dating a girl when she was in 200l, saw her through school, he even got her a laptop for her final year project and after graduation, he spent over 500k on helping her move to a city and start up her business and that was the end of them. He tried with another girl, same thing happened. All of these guys have similar stories.

When I pointed out that they were probably victims of scam, one of them said ' spending on my girlfriend is normal coz she's my responsibility and that does not make me a 'mugun'.

I then came to the conclusion that these girls probably never liked them but chose to stay with them because they were their 'source of livelihood'.

My advice to the ladies, please if you will not stay with a guy, just let him go. Most guys except few like these guys will punish another random lady for your own sin.

My main advice is to the guys: when chasing a girl, stop putting money first. Try to establish friendship and not the I-can-take-care-of-your-needs attitude if not, you'll keep attracting scammers. Reason being that, you lured them with money and that's all they'll be after. These ladies will go as far as marrying you and leave when they are done with you.

Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't take care of your girlfriend but let money not be the reason ladies fall for you. Show them some other side of you. It could be your sense of humour, your level of intelligence or anything.

Every guy has that one thing that's gonna keep people attracted to them. What I'm asking is that guys should bring something other than money to the table else your partners will keep cheating on you with guys who are 'poor' coz contrary to what you think, money is not everything.

PS: I know there are no straightjacket rules as to how a relationship should be run .
My conclusion is based on personal experience, observation, talk with guys and my recent discussion with these 4 friends.

door2:
@ SPEEDEPITOME pls tell d ladies 2 . To stop running after rich guy.....

Many threads on here have addressed that issue.

rheether:
You need to show me say you fit take care of me

what happened to your parents na, r u an orphan?
By the way what r u bringing to the table?

SPEEDEPITOME:
So I went to stay at some big brothers' place last weekend and they talked about their relationship issues. One common point in all of their stories was they spent money on their girlfriends and they still left. One of them started dating a girl when she was in 200l, saw her through school, he even got her a laptop for her final year project and after graduation, he spent over 500k on helping her move to a city and start up her business and that was the end of them. He tried with another girl, same thing happened. All of these guys have similar stories.

When I pointed out that they were probably victims of scam, one of them said ' spending on my girlfriend is normal coz she's my responsibility and that does not make me a 'mugun'.

I then came to the conclusion that these girls probably never liked them but chose to stay with them because they were their 'source of livelihood'.

My advice to the ladies, please if you will not stay with a guy, just let him go. Most guys except few like these guys will punish another random lady for your own sin.

My main advice is to the guys: when chasing a girl, stop putting money first. Try to establish friendship and not the I-can-take-care-of-your-needs attitude if not, you'll keep attracting scammers. Reason being that, you lured them with money and that's all they'll be after. These ladies will go as far as marrying you and leave when they are done with you.

Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't take care of your girlfriend but let money not be the reason ladies fall for you. Show them some other side of you. It could be your sense of humour, your level of intelligence or anything.

Every guy has that one thing that's gonna keep people attracted to them. What I'm asking is that guys should bring something other than money to the table else your partners will keep cheating on you with guys who are 'poor' coz contrary to what you think, money is not everything.

PS: I know there are no straightjacket rules as to how a relationship should be run .
My conclusion is based on personal experience, observation, talk with guys and my recent discussion with these 4 friends.

some women are raised with that kind of mentally. They will tell you that you dont love them if you do not spend on them. The real psychological fact is that in the minds of most women, once you start spending on them, the sexual attractions in the relationships fade. Genuine love cannot be bought. If a woman loves you, or is attracted to you because of something, nothing matters to her again. Not your looks, age, money or any other thing matters. What op said is the reality: Guys learn how to create attractions first and everything shall follow.

honor4me:
some women are raised with that kind of mentally. They will tell you that you dont love them if you do not spend on them. The real psychological fact is that in the minds of most women, once you start spending on them, the sexual attractions in the relationships fade. Genuine love cannot be bought. If a woman loves you, or is attracted to you because of something, nothing matters to her again. Not your looks, age, money or any other thing matters. What op said is the reality: Guys learn how to create attractions first and everything shall follow.

girls have educated themselves not to love without financial stability, love is the divided for financial buoyancy.i am yet to see girls of recent who's contrarian to this principle. the economy is their teacher. not saying true love doesn't exist, i'm saying the majority out their love on sale or rather in exchange for financial stability.

honor4me:
some women are raised with that kind of mentally. They will tell you that you dont love them if you do not spend on them. The real psychological fact is that in the minds of most women, once you start spending on them, the sexual attractions in the relationships fade. Genuine love cannot be bought. If a woman loves you, or is attracted to you because of something, nothing matters to her again. Not your looks, age, money or any other thing matters. What op said is the reality: Guys learn how to create attractions first and everything shall follow.

Preach it brother.

SPEEDEPITOME:
So I went to stay at some big brothers' place last weekend and they talked about their relationship issues. One common point in all of their stories was they spent money on their girlfriends and they still left. One of them started dating a girl when she was in 200l, saw her through school, he even got her a laptop for her final year project and after graduation, he spent over 500k on helping her move to a city and start up her business and that was the end of them. He tried with another girl, same thing happened. All of these guys have similar stories.

When I pointed out that they were probably victims of scam, one of them said ' spending on my girlfriend is normal coz she's my responsibility and that does not make me a 'mugun'.

I then came to the conclusion that these girls probably never liked them but chose to stay with them because they were their 'source of livelihood'.

My advice to the ladies, please if you will not stay with a guy, just let him go. Most guys except few like these guys will punish another random lady for your own sin.

My main advice is to the guys: when chasing a girl, stop putting money first. Try to establish friendship and not the I-can-take-care-of-your-needs attitude if not, you'll keep attracting scammers. Reason being that, you lured them with money and that's all they'll be after. These ladies will go as far as marrying you and leave when they are done with you.

Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't take care of your girlfriend but let money not be the reason ladies fall for you. Show them some other side of you. It could be your sense of humour, your level of intelligence or anything.

Every guy has that one thing that's gonna keep people attracted to them. What I'm asking is that guys should bring something other than money to the table else your partners will keep cheating on you with guys who are 'poor' coz contrary to what you think, money is not everything.

PS: I know there are no straightjacket rules as to how a relationship should be run .
My conclusion is based on personal experience, observation, talk with guys and my recent discussion with these 4 friends.

When I hear guys keep saying money will get girls to flock around u I just laugh

superNOVA1995:
When I hear guys keep saying money will get girls to flock around u I just laugh

Yes money gets girls to flock around you. I'm a living experience to this testament at the moment. Unfortunately, i don't give females moneyexcept for health cases..

connectpoint:
girls have educated themselves not to love without financial stability, love is the divided for financial buoyancy.i am yet to see girls of recent who's contrarian to this principle. the economy is their teacher. not saying true love doesn't exist, i'm saying the majority out their love on sale or rather in exchange for financial stability.

There's no shying away from the point you made but guys help in enforcing this mentality.
A lady is obviously not into you yet you keep spending hoping things will change. I've experienced this many times.

pansophist:
It is escapism to solely blame women without introspecting on our features that warranted materialism as their prime motive to date. In as much as I am not excusing materialism, I know that when a man is worthy, by being worthy, I mean that he is well-educated, dresses well, can eloquently articulate his thought intelligently, high personal hygiene (no pot belly and goes to the gym, well-toned), nice teeth and has a career prospect, you will effortlessly meet high quality women that wont need a damn shillings from you. It is about quality, and as the rules of nature implies, likes attract likes.

EOD.

However, it is important to note that women love money (not theirs) to spent on them. It is nature and simple psychology.

SPEEDEPITOME:
There's no shying away from the point you made but guys help in enforcing this mentality.
A lady is obviously not into you yet you keep spending hoping things will change. I've experienced this many times.

true it takes two to tangle. i tell yu what..i agree we're makin the same point, but when a female says if u dnt flash i won't dance, what do the guys do educate me ma, help my ignorance i beseech thee please

eveففry woman na thesame?

honor4me:
some women are raised with that kind of mentally. They will tell you that you dont love them if you do not spend on them.

No one should be a victim of a miseducated woman (even man). Any woman that correlates materialism as love is the kind you should flee from. I understand that these woman sometimes do have killer curves that are irresistible(lol), but what does it profit a man to be with a parasitic woman but looses all his money to a point of being permanently broke?

In my honest view, I believe that every relationship (and marriages) should be a blessing, not a curse. My last trip to Nigeria confirmed that many girls sees relationship as a source of income, and marriage as the bigger target. It also hurt to say that these women have absolutely nothing to offer. Many times, men that married these parasitic women unknowingly subscribed to a life of catering a fully grown adult who does nothing but conceive and consume. It is so sad.