₦airaland Forum

mapist:
The lady who created the post of not being able to date guys below her standard needs to see this.

You just posted my thought..Op brace up...guys like us have been there done that. One of the best moment to test your spouse's endurance and loyalty is when you are down and lacking.
Right now your madam expect you to be cook,cleaner, houseboy, yes-maam-husband, the type when ask a simple question that would respond " wait let me consult with my wife first"....but guess what? so long you are not lazy,be ready to pay some prices..e.g take up offers that could take you away from your comfort zone, you will bounce back...believe me!.

Then your marriage arrangement will have a more adjusted pattern.Cos without money flowing from you, to her, you are worthless.

maasoap:
Understand how you feel on such matters? That it should always be rosy for your husband? That if he ever becomes jobless or suffers setback in his business, you wont be there for him? My comments are just questions.

My husband wouldn't be foolish enough to be wasting time here. He would be out hustling every morning until he found work.

Fabulocity:
You should try to understand that I'm not justifying her. What she did is not right it's even good that she's in that position of helping out so she can see the kind of pressure her husband goes through on a daily basis. But let's face the facts, she can't keep shouldering the finances forever. I mean, it's HIS duty. That's how she'll begin to lose respect for him if she keeps feeding him and giving him pocket money when it's supposed to be the other way round. You that you're talking would you allow your wife to cater for you like this?

my dear, you don't know what marriage and love is all about. If she loves him, she won't mind feeding him for years and she won't lose respect for him no matter what. All that matters is that the family is moving forward. Religion and tradition says man is the bread winner but logic and common sense says the husband and wife constitute an inseparable entity. They both must be there for each other in love and respect.

FortuneTeller:
It's VERY RARE for GERD to ever require surgery. I suspect he has a duodenal ulcer and continues to take alcohol, smoke, fake herbal substances and making his condition worse. If his ulcer is so bad and he is at risk of bleeding, let him stop paying for data on his phone and instead see a surgeon. This man has been unemployed for 2 years and is typing on a phone that someone is paying for. The lazy man is frustrating his wife.

I would think a supportive and virtuous wife would at least consider the health of the father of the house and pay for his surgery from the proceeds of the boutique business he set up for her while he was still in paid employment. But ofcourse, women have very short memories.

FortuneTeller:
It's VERY RARE for GERD to ever require surgery. I suspect he has a duodenal ulcer and continues to take alcohol, smoke, fake herbal substances and making his condition worse. If his ulcer is so bad and he is at risk of bleeding, let him stop paying for data on his phone and instead see a surgeon. This man has been unemployed for 2 years and is typing on a phone that someone is paying for. The lazy man is frustrating his wife.

Don't just assume, he could be browsing free of charge, glo and Airtel for now.

Martinez19:
ogbeni shut it joor! even if she feeds his ass for 5 years, she would never insult him. You know nothing about love.

You're definitely a little lad who still whimper round his mama for food and pocket money. For that, I will kindly forgive you knowing that your cerebral is nothing but an imported product. Go and finish up with your assignment and stop telling your elders to 'shut it'.

DukeNija:
I would think a supportive and virtuous wife would at least consider the health of the father of the house and pay for his surgery from the proceeds of the boutique business he set up for her while he was still in paid employment. But ofcourse, women have very short memories.

Sir I do not disagree with what you are saying. If my husband was dying, I would move a mountain for him to have surgery. The man in question has been unemployed for 2 years. Sorry but he is lazy. He is not even trying to help his wife expand her shop. He doesn't deserve her respect.

mylander:
Please advise.

I was in an employment of a bank until recently when my employment was terminated.

When I had the job, I took my family welfare as my priory. My wife and our only son were faring good, I always ensure we do not lack the basic necessities. Meanwhile, my wife did not have a job then. All the house upkeep expenses including the cost of running her postgraduate program were on me and I felt comfortable bearing the costs as the breadwinner of the family.

After I lost my job in the bank some month ago, my wife got an employment with the state govt. With her little income, she has been able to assist in bearing some expenses, even she pays for fuelling our car sometimes.

The drama has now started in the house and our marriage is on the verge of breaking up.

Any little issue, my wife will turn it to quarrel, different abuses. Funny enough, she would be referring to the financial supports she has been rendering in the house. This is a woman that did not work at all for 2 years and I was bearing all the expenses with pleasure. Now she had only supported me for about 4months now and she's is misbehaving.

To my surprise, my wife maintains a record in which she records every penny she spends in the house including food items and fuel. With this, she always ask me when will I pay him back.

At the instance of a simple argument/misunderstanding, my wife would be boasting of 'I paid for this, I paid for that....' 'If not for my support since you had problem at work......'

Please advise me, I am getting fed-up with the situation, my wife had changed totally.

At Op how can you be surprised! Most women are leaches. Very few really know what love or marriage is. Sorry bro. I will comment more later.

FortuneTeller:
My husband wouldn't be foolish enough to be wasting time here. He would be out hustling every morning until he found work.

Just because he doesn't have a helper even if it means him looking for job and never come back again? Now, I understand you totally.

FortuneTeller:
I dare you to try what the op has. Only then will you see the truth.

I cannot try it. You know why? I am a very selfish person. I will not invest a dime of my money on any woman, not even my wife. All my savings goes to me and me alone. I will set up businesses that i will manage on my own even if she is jobless. My major priority will be me. She is secondary.
The mistake the man made was believing he had someone behind him. If he had saved for the rainy day and even started something on the side for complementary income he wont be in this mess. Go figure.

Women are selfish beings who love money and only think of themselves. The earlier men learn to be equally selfish the better for them. I believe op has learnt his lessons now and the wife will get her pay in due time.

HenryDion:
You're definitely a little lad who still whimper round his mama for food and pocket money. For that, I will kindly forgive you knowing that your cerebral is nothing but an imported product. Go and finish up with your assignment and stop telling your elders to 'shut it'.

Cerebral is an adjective. You are just as smart as your english. Nothing will ever substitute love not even a wicked world.

FortuneTeller:
Sir I do not disagree with what you are saying. If my husband was dying, I would move a mountain for him to have surgery. The man in question has been unemployed for 2 years. Sorry but he is lazy. He is not even trying to help his wife expand her shop. He doesn't deserve her respect.

4 months, not two years.

mylander:
Please advise.

I was in an employment of a bank until recently when my employment was terminated.

When I had the job, I took my family welfare as my priory. My wife and our only son were faring good, I always ensure we do not lack the basic necessities. Meanwhile, my wife did not have a job then. All the house upkeep expenses including the cost of running her postgraduate program were on me and I felt comfortable bearing the costs as the breadwinner of the family.

After I lost my job in the bank some month ago, my wife got an employment with the state govt. With her little income, she has been able to assist in bearing some expenses, even she pays for fuelling our car sometimes.

The drama has now started in the house and our marriage is on the verge of breaking up.

Any little issue, my wife will turn it to quarrel, different abuses. Funny enough, she would be referring to the financial supports she has been rendering in the house. This is a woman that did not work at all for 2 years and I was bearing all the expenses with pleasure. Now she had only supported me for about 4months now and she's is misbehaving.

To my surprise, my wife maintains a record in which she records every penny she spends in the house including food items and fuel. With this, she always ask me when will I pay him back.

At the instance of a simple argument/misunderstanding, my wife would be boasting of 'I paid for this, I paid for that....' 'If not for my support since you had problem at work......'

Please advise me, I am getting fed-up with the situation, my wife had changed totally.

I won't be quick to castigate the woman here, even though I admit she's being a bit too hard on you.
I've several questions for you: First, where's your savings all the while you were working? You could afford a car and sponsor your wife's PG studies, you should also have some decent savings. If you didn't save anything while you worked,then that's a big mistake. As a man, you ought to start planning for retirement/job loss from your first pay packet.
Secondly, who bought the car she's moaning about fuelling? Can you drive? Can't that car be engaged in some form of commercial transport activity by you? If it can't, then sell it to raise some capital.
Lastly, are you posturing towards remaining idle until you get another white collar job? If that's true, then your wife is giving your mind the right stimulus it needs to wake up.
Frankly, your case is even mild, you have some safety nets to keep you afloat somehow. What if she didn't get that state govt job? what if the car isn't there? Some men aren't lucky enough to have these....

BiafraBushBoy:
Are you in Lasgidi?

Yea and we use to be friends.
Thelma

FortuneTeller:
Sir I do not disagree with what you are saying. If my husband was dying, I would move a mountain for him to have surgery. The man in question has been unemployed for 2 years. Sorry but he is lazy. He is not even trying to help his wife expand her shop. He doesn't deserve her respect.

A boutique he set up is now her shop. You see how selfish women can be? HER SHOP!

Rossikki:
Your logic is based on sheer wickedness and thoughtlessness. What if the man falls sick and cannot work? What if he's in business and govt seizes his goods? In life anything can happen. What is the point of marriage vows made before God - ''For richer for poorer, in sickness and in health''?

Is that just another meaningless phrase done on a wedding day? If it is, then why bother saying it, and lying to God? Instead of lying before your maker, simply remove those words and state the truth, ie ''If he's rich we will be fine, but if he's not, I cannot stand him.'' Why lie?

Women need to understand that there is more to life than money. Love, commitment, honour, loyalty, selflessness MATTER, or we are little more than wild animals in the bush.

What if sickness makes it impossible for the woman to take care of the family home and kids?
I'm guessing a good man will fill the void right?
Is that what a good husband should do, yes.
Will it stain the marriage? Of course!

I NEVER mentioned money in my post, u did!
I just pointed out to the op the roles of parties in a marriage and the fact that his post about his wife seems untrue.
Why do men tend to paint themselves like innocent victims and the wife as the wicked witch?

When the going was good with the op HOW WELL DID HE TAKE CARE OF HIS FAMILY? that's what I want to hear.

maasoap:
4 months, not two years.

This is different from the op's story

Victornezzar:
Op i understand her pains...its normal with women
Dis ur case was d same case with my uncle
Don't know weda dey wer controlling him from village......He lost his job....His wife had a big shop wer she do sell all dis kitchen utensils.....she was complaining oo but my uncle kept calm....she was responsible 4 everything in deir family.....my uncle felt dat d whole world was against him....its dat period u would know hu ur real friends are.....But today it's a forgotten issue...he's living well with his family.
so don't ever regret getting married
Sh*t like dis happens
Btw u too start something doing so at least u can be supporting her
Even if it's little....God will increase u
btw Pm me
let's talk more on dis
will av 2 connect u with my uncle so u would hear more from him

Nigeria needs people like you....
unlike some folks here, that was rain insults on him... I'm proud of you bro!!!

cococandy:
Sorry about your predicament.
meanwhile make sure you're doing the house work she used to do when you were the bread winner.
These problems usually arise when the woman is left to be the bread winner and home keeper all by herself.
Can't eat your cake and have it.
If you're not contributing money to the family, take on the other duties in the house while she goes to work to provide for the family.

See woman o.

Amadaz:
you made a very stvpid comment.

truly am not surprised at your mention its simply because one you are not married,two ur mindset has not really being expose to such truth......your opinion is well noted even dough its harshly expressed. I won't pray such thing to betide you,but seek for knowledge and see if my comment truly is stupid.

maasoap:
4 months, not two years.

I am not talking about the original writer. Another man came to tell his story of being unemployed two years.

YelloweWest:
What if sickness makes it impossible for the woman to take care of the family home and kids?
I'm guessing a good man will fill the void right?
Is that what a good husband should do, yes.
Will it stain the marriage? Of course!

I NEVER mentioned money in my post, u did!
I just pointed out to the op the roles of parties in a marriage and the fact that his post about his wife seems untrue.
Why do men tend to paint themselves like innocent victims and the wife as the wicked witch?

When the going was good with the op HOW WELL DID HE TAKE CARE OF HIS FAMILY? that's what I want to hear

Please go and read the story and stop asking ridiculous questions.

Ifyone123:
Its high time you men should stop giving us girls money but rather buy her gifts( d ones u cn afford o) if she cant cope wit it n she cheats or dares to break up..plz wit all joy.. let her go. She ent d kind dat cn giv u peace. Most fat men ar fat not mainly because of d food dia wives feeds on them but because of PEACE!!!

do u knw wat peace can giv? happiness, joy, etc..name dem.....well Op i undastand wat u ar goin tru. It gets into our heads wen we earn mor dan our spouse some/most times.

Advise for men: before u settle with her..make sure she is earning n make contribution for FAMILY(not only a man) upkeep. Marriages can b so sweet wen both couple take up home responsibilities happily because u dint marry her jst fr her to b on d receiving end. OP if she venture asks if u ar a man plzzzz denounce being a man. I swear dat will scatter her head.lol...well u made a mistake at 1st...dats wat Emeka ike is goin through now sha...so key into my suggestion if u can..d choosing is left for u

A Nigerian lady that reasons properly. In this modern age, we need to see marriage as a partnership where both spouses should contribute according to their financial ability. Most of our ladies have been raised to believe that the family upkeep is the responsibility of the man alone. And any little money they spend in the house, they feel the man should pay them back. The op's wife is obviously the type. It's really annoying. A lot of Nigerian men have also been indoctrinated to believe that.

Emanodimo:
Normal in the sense of general reaction you can get from most women.

Let us relate it with two guys...it will look like almost thesame.

We are not talking about just any girl but his wife. Come on! Is she expected to behave same way others will behave to her husband?

raziboi:
Nigeria needs people like you....
unlike some folks here, that was rain insults on him... I'm proud of you bro!!!

no p Bro
Tinz like dis happens
dats y it's never advisable 2 look down on someone

Emanodimo:
Just a normal reaction from women. She is pushing you to get back on your feet, not to bow to defeat on job matter.
I will suggest u need more patience till u get something doing.
Think on what u can do aside looking for job... With your banking experience u can find ursef with Microfinance bank...

pushing him on his feet with insults? Even that is her strategy, it is wrong.

DukeNija:
I cannot try it. You know why? I am a very selfish person. I will not invest a dime of my money on any woman, not even my wife. All my savings goes to me and me alone. I will set up businesses that i will manage on my own even if she is jobless. My major priority will be me. She is secondary.
The mistake the man made was believing he had someone behind him. If he had saved for the rainy day and even started something on the side for complementary income he wont be in this mess. Go figure.

Women are selfish beings who love money and only think of themselves. The earlier men learn to be equally selfish the better for them. I believe op has learnt his lessons now and the wife will get her pay in due time.

God bless you brother. Imagine feeding her, clothing her and still investing on her in the name of paying her post graduate tuition fees! And here, another saying all these counted for nothing. What @FortuneTeller doesn't understand from her posts is that, you're telling men here to be extremely selfish when things are going well for them. Because if they make mistake of investing on the wife, they might live to regret it.

DukeNija:
I cannot try it. You know why? I am a very selfish person. I will not invest a dime of my money on any woman, not even my wife. All my savings goes to me and me alone. I will set up businesses that i will manage on my own even if she is jobless. My major priority will be me. She is secondary.
The mistake the man made was believing he had someone behind him. If he had saved for the rainy day and even started something on the side for complementary income he wont be in this mess. Go figure.

Women are selfish beings who love money and only think of themselves. The earlier men learn to be equally selfish the better for them. I believe op has learnt his lessons now and the wife will get her pay in due time.

Good for you. It's a broke man mentality that will make you bitter. Just understand you will never get a woman you truly want being that way. That is why some should marry while others remain single.

Lubyna, RaggedyAnn... here's something to look at o

Ifyone123:
Its high time you men should stop giving us girls money but rather buy her gifts( d ones u cn afford o) if she cant cope wit it n she cheats or dares to break up..plz wit all joy.. let her go. She ent d kind dat cn giv u peace. Most fat men ar fat not mainly because of d food dia wives feeds on them but because of PEACE!!!

do u knw wat peace can giv? happiness, joy, etc..name dem.....well Op i undastand wat u ar goin tru. It gets into our heads wen we earn mor dan our spouse some/most times.

Advise for men: before u settle with her..make sure she is earning n make contribution for FAMILY(not only a man) upkeep. Marriages can b so sweet wen both couple take up home responsibilities happily because u dint marry her jst fr her to b on d receiving end. OP if she venture asks if u ar a man plzzzz denounce being a man. I swear dat will scatter her head.lol...well u made a mistake at 1st...dats wat Emeka ike is goin through now sha...so key into my suggestion if u can..d choosing is left for u

I like the way you think.

Ifyone123:
Bro MMM stil pays ai...d reseason y i mentioned MMM is dat his MONEY works for him witout sweat...Den he cn direct his sweat into looking fr a job. N wen i said MMM i mean lil like 20/30/40k. He will b getting interesting witout sweats. d people dat ar crying on MMM brekdown ar d greedy ones...It wz ivn a serious from page warning on MMM 'Use you SPARE MONEY' but greed cn let piple knw sup. If i am stil wrong wif wat i hv jst said plz point it out.

Question: is it better he stays at home spending d lil he got? is it beta he spends d lil he got nw into transportation and noting is coming in? bro MMM cn solve dat problem. he gets interest fr it to run around n do oda tinz til he finds his feet or do u want him to beg his wife for transport money which will break his heart cz she must insult him or do u want him to go beg his friends for transport money n his friends will mock him/help a lil den stops at somtime or people dat wunt ivn help atool.


plz if am stil wrong...do fix me right, tnx

Mavrodian sighted