₦airaland Forum

TinaAnita:
Why go for a good girl and not a slay queen? I thought you guys said good girls finish last? hypocrites here and there

Kokaine:
Hi nairalanders. i came under this moniker because i want to be discreet.

I met this girl some months ago, we became close, and one thing led to the other, we started dating.

Of all the girls I ever dated, this one came closest to my heart. I'm ordinarily stingy to girls when I date them, especially the ones i feel don't really love me for any other reason than what they hope to benefit. In fact, my last relationship ended because of how tightfisted i was with her. But in the case of this girl in question, I was so free, i gave her easily, it got to the extent that my cousins and closed friends started suggesting that she put a hex on me. i really loved her. my whole life changed when she came in, i became very happy, always wanted to be with her, for every contract i took, i shared a small part with her and she was happy, whenever there was a misunderstanding, she apologised, she was never the type to climb a high horse. I wont lie i saw her demands for material things increase uncontrollably, i became responsible for everything she wanted and needed, her cream, her clothes, phone, laptop, subscription, even ordinary airtime! haba! airtime oh!!! but i wasn't all that disturbed because i felt i could endure the burden just because of how happy and lively she always made me feel, practically the same addiction my neighbour has for weed even if its with his last dime

The trouble started when i went to her place one day and she was not around, my phone was almost dead, i decided to charge it in the abokis place near her house. Then i saw what looked exactly like her phone charging. I mean; her phone cover is very spectacular to me, looks like rabbit ears with lights that come on whenever you touch it. i asked about it, he told me it was hers. God so did it that he allowed me to check the phone, i had known her pattern a long time ago but she didn't know.

Brothers and sisters! When I opened this phone, and saw her chat with someone whose name she saved with "miracle" she was obviously cheating! I copied the number and dialled it on my phone with truecaller, i saw the complete name, i opened facebook and checked that name, it was a guy, he was on her facebook too. she had been seeing this guy. the dates on their whatsapp chat confirmed that certain times she left my house and said she was going to her brothers house, that was where she actually went.

For the first time in my life i was broken, i had to break up with this girl. but i wanted to think about it thoroughly because i feared loneliness and the loss of happiness that breaking up with her will bring me. i did anyway.

She begged and begged promising to break up with the guy, i just don't know why i refused, i told her we could be friends, but now as i type this, she seems to Have moved on, she has never called me again nor sent any message, neither have i, but everyday that passes by, i gradually see myself going back to my old state of mind, you know one that makes you lonely even in the midst of people. i really miss her now, I'm thinking i should have forgiven her, but then i know i have to be a man, i see her posts on instagram, she is still so beautiful in my eyes, i cannot hate her however i have tried, this is very unlike me, i want anyone who has ever experienced this to tell me how he did it. Thanks so much. one love!

Nma27:
where? You know it not stamped on d forehead

lefulefu:
it is stamped on her character.this is one of the reason why a man and a woman court it each other before marriage abi? to observe each other and see if u both suitable for each other

Debbime:
All the other ladies prayers have been answered. This is your waterloo. Deal with it.

TinaAnita:
Hehehehe
I just pity the next girl as she will pay dearly for what she knows nothing about except God touches OP' mind.

raziboi:
trying to go back is normal...
but it doesn't worth it...
believe when I say she's missing you..

allow her make the coming back step first!!
that would be better

timsonpreye:
am inlove with this particular post

Zirah:
Trash. Your previous relationships didn't work simply because you didn't love any of them, not because they were materialistic. This one you love doesn't love you in return. Serves you right. Deal with it.

TinaAnita:
I'm not here to dish out any advice but to question those who are advising OP to move on and cut all contacts with her..

The question is, what's the guarantee that the next available girl won't cheat on him? And if that happens should OP break up with her and move on again? For how long will that continue?

If the punishment for cheating is to breakup then no relationship will survive as everyone cheats in one way or the other believe it or not.

While cheating is so bad but it's not a justifiable reason to end a romantic relationship since both parties did not take an oath to be faithful and loyal to one another.

If Married people could cheat on their partners with reckless abandon regardless of marital vows then what stops the singles from double dating or cheating?

Like I said earlier, I'm not here to dish out advice but to ask questions so as to make some people have a rethink as far as the issue of cheating is concerned.

pocohantas:
You'll be fine.
It's only normal you feel this way, considering you loved her...



This is where the trouble started, you were just too in love to notice or act on it. Some women could be very smart...or should I say cunning? The worst thing that can happen to you in a relationship, is to show a bad partner you can't do without him or her...you become predictable and less spontaneous. An emotional pushover and wreck. Such partners have a way of making themselves 'indispensable'...
So, when they eventually strike, they expect you to forgive out of fear of being alone or finding someone like them.

Some men go ahead to marry such women, and they will almost steal trying to satisfy her. Na God save you. My brother, move on. Next time, use your senses. Don't love a woman and buy all her problems. All those uncontrollable demands was her way of testing the efficacy of her juju in your life...learn to say NO to unnecessary demands!!! You deserve better...someone better than a cheat.

pocohantas:
You'll be fine.
It's only normal you feel this way, considering you loved her...



This is where the trouble started, you were just too in love to notice or act on it. Some women could be very smart...or should I say cunning? The worst thing that can happen to you in a relationship, is to show a bad partner you can't do without him or her...you become predictable and less spontaneous. An emotional pushover and wreck. Such partners have a way of making themselves 'indispensable'...
So, when they eventually strike, they expect you to forgive out of fear of being alone or finding someone like them.

Some men go ahead to marry such women, and they will almost steal trying to satisfy her. Na God save you. My brother, move on. Next time, use your senses. Don't love a woman and buy all her problems. All those uncontrollable demands was her way of testing the efficacy of her juju in your life...learn to say NO to unnecessary demands!!! You deserve better...someone better than a cheat.

TheRealestGuy:
My question is what does she do? What's her background like? Were you absolutely faithful to her too all the while?

Some girls by no fault of theirs are in a position where they can't afford things in life especially as students, if she's one of those, it's understandable that you take care of her for the time being until she's done and can take up a job no matter how small.

Some girls also come from problematic backgrounds and have serious financial and emotional problems, which they cannot solve by themselves but need someone to help them overcome.

If you've also not been faithful why the hypocrisy? She may have known and had feelings for that guy before you came along so it shouldn't be a big deal. Bear in mind always that until you pay a girl's bride price she's never truly yours and you shouldn't feel heartbroken when she finds someone else and wants to move on.


I hope you catch my drift, I've got no advise to give, just guidance.

justscorchone:
Bro we share the same mindset,for me though my past has been hunting me because back in the day I was always around women and I was a club and party freak,I met a girl that made me stop that my lifestyle,I was determined to be a better man because that was the only reason she was going to be with me,well I did became a better man and stopped my wayward ways and cut off from ALL my female friends,alas we still broke up because according to the same ho I was too clingy now and it was hurting my productivity with my work,now I'm willing and ready to give love a shot once again but damn the women nowadays are far from wifey potential,most put up the innocent look but are demons in disguise,I really want to settle down and have children but the set of women I come across are not about that life they want to slay 24/7 ,I'm keeping an eye out for foreign ladies now.

madgoat:
Go back to her and become an ATM machine
She was chopping ur money steadily and straffing someone else without even thinking twice. You would be the biggest vegetable mugu on earth to go back to her. Person wey don already forget you and moved on with life and na u come dey do like Pussy.

lefulefu:
its ladies like her who would end up bearing kids for different men and claiming they belong to op if ever they get married.he should move on and get another girl. no time for unnecessary heartache.u can tolorate other faults frm ur partner but cheating with impunity is not something u just walk over.

thingsyoudo123:
I command you to receive sense immediately... Wat nonsense? so u love to be ATM abi? Make i go visit chief priest for my village on ur behalf.

lonelydora:
Bro, move on. There are many BETTER fishes in the river. Don't go back to her, unless, she will see you as helpless and deal more with you. Whatever doesn't change during friendship won't change after marriage

TinaAnita:
How would end up bearing kids for different men? What has that got to do with my post?

If he moves on and get another girl and the girl cheats on him what happens? He should move on and get another girl again?

pocohantas:
You'll be fine.
It's only normal you feel this way, considering you loved her...



This is where the trouble started, you were just too in love to notice or act on it. Some women could be very smart...or should I say cunning? The worst thing that can happen to you in a relationship, is to show a bad partner you can't do without him or her...you become predictable and less spontaneous. An emotional pushover and wreck. Such partners have a way of making themselves 'indispensable'...
So, when they eventually strike, they expect you to forgive out of fear of being alone or finding someone like them.

Some men go ahead to marry such women, and they will almost steal trying to satisfy her. Na God save you. My brother, move on. Next time, use your senses. Don't love a woman and buy all her problems. All those uncontrollable demands was her way of testing the efficacy of her juju in your life...learn to say NO to unnecessary demands!!! You deserve better...someone better than a cheat.

ladyF:
Better go and get her back if you like yourself.

zedman1:
Its not that easy to let go but believe me,if you had forgiven her you'd find it so hard to trust her again no matter how hard you try and the relationship would never be as rosy as it used to be.

TinaAnita:
I'm not here to dish out any advice but to question those who are advising OP to move on and cut all contacts with her..

The question is, what's the guarantee that the next available girl won't cheat on him? And if that happens should OP break up with her and move on again? For how long will that continue?

If the punishment for cheating is to breakup then no relationship will survive as everyone cheats in one way or the other believe it or not.

While cheating is so bad but it's not a justifiable reason to end a romantic relationship since both parties did not take an oath to be faithful and loyal to one another.

If Married people could cheat on their partners with reckless abandon regardless of marital vows then what stops the singles from double dating or cheating?

Like I said earlier, I'm not here to dish out advice but to ask questions so as to make some people have a rethink as far as the issue of cheating is concerned.