Am I Too Choosy? - Romance (7) - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum › Nairaland General › Romance › Am I Too Choosy? (51154 Views)
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| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by Queenserah26(f): 11:49pm On Aug 23, 2017 |
The matter tire me small, but I wish you the best honestly |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by loluadebayo: 11:57pm On Aug 23, 2017 |
Be like this OP no get sense. you don't wanna say yes cos he's moving to ikorodu. what's his location got to do with your love life? is it the place you want or what exactly?? Ayam not understanding. Conot here with your nollywood stories |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by Nobody: 12:02am On Aug 24, 2017 |
Sophyrocks:Please how do I contact mod to close this thread. The men commenting continuosly are so daft. I never knew nairaland men are like this. Moderators please close this thread. Topic closed!!!! Close this thread o.. Enough mumu full this place o! Close thread!!!!! |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by InvertedHammer: 12:02am On Aug 24, 2017 |
alexialin:Let's assume that the story is non-fiction: 1. The guy is hopeless. How can he go from 0-100% in a blink of an eye. Exchange of pleasantries and good deeds does not equate to love. He didn't even ask for a date...but marriage? SMH. 2. You love him but not in love with him. If you do, everything is negotiable. He can release his apartment in Ikorodu and two of you will plan your future better. He tried to release himself from a "friend zone". But it ain't easy. Going from a carwasher to a driver takes a whole lot of effort, very daunting I must admit. If you care about him, give him a good odeshi as a parting gift. He may need it when badoo comes calling. / |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by revivalistdee(m): 12:05am On Aug 24, 2017 |
i pray its neva to late for u to decide on wat to do with ur life, u knw the number of ladies going mad everyday just bcus, they are used and dumped. nt pushing u on him dear. just shine ur eyes |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by amedualiyu(m): 12:34am On Aug 24, 2017 |
Adamo is a very remote area in ikorodu. Please don't go there in the name of marriage OR love. I repeat, Adamo is a very remote area in Ikorodu and don't go near there. |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by maclatunji: 12:36am On Aug 24, 2017 |
Does OP think she might be interested in marrying him? If yes, let him find a better location. |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by tonguengineer(m): 12:42am On Aug 24, 2017 |
alexialin:Mad u Neva give us the reason why u decline with that proposal Because that excuse that u called reason doesn't worth it at all Maybe u Neva love john |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by adanny01(m): 12:44am On Aug 24, 2017 |
alexialin:I think you were rude. This is the fact, if he wants you and you want him back, Ikorodu is a choice. If he made the mistake of proposing marriage with a clause of Ikorodu, that clause can be removed. Am sure if he really wants to marry you, he will forfiet the rent he paid and marry you. You threw away a good and prospective hubby without weighing any options. This is what i expected you to say, "John, any girl would love to marry a hardworker and caring man like you. I am no exception. I would give it a thought, however i donot like the idea of living in Ikorodu." I expect him to be ok with the reply because it's neither here nor there. Next thing you do matters alot. Pay more visits, go on dates, cook, watch movies together and fall in love. Am sure he will be happy. His proposal was out of the blues that I commend you for even considering it but do due diligence. |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by Lewaluv(f): 12:49am On Aug 24, 2017 |
Op if he really loves you he will move to some where more suitable. |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by tonguengineer(m): 12:57am On Aug 24, 2017 |
alexialin:I live in ikorodu and I can tell u adamo is a no go area because that is the haven of your worst fear(for both badoo,cult and rituals) |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by Nobody: 1:41am On Aug 24, 2017 |
There has to be more to this story... |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by Mrlouis: 1:43am On Aug 24, 2017 |
This one don chop belleful . see jamb question
|
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by kennykendo(m): 2:58am On Aug 24, 2017 |
alexialin:so if a suitor from Abuja or outside Nigeria comes for you, your excuse will be your business? secondly, are you really sure it is only badoo in ikorodu that is your problem or are you avoiding something else? because your story is a bit...perplexing |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by 2016easy2017: 3:23am On Aug 24, 2017 |
alexialin:but u'v agreed to hisproposal. u only gave a reasonable condition.. but call him back n tell him u'll say yes, onlyif he can find a safer place |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by Jazmiynne: 4:16am On Aug 24, 2017 |
alexialin:This your story is wawuu! Both of you just sound like misplaced priorities. He wants u in his life, has been doing good neighbor since, suddenly wakes up with no prior hint and decides to propose marriage to you Oh okay, you say he asked for dating first and you said no, u want marriage. You want the kinda marriage where you would soon open thread Herr telling us how you regret marrying? I think that sounded very desperate from you. Its okay to let the man know that if he's asking to date u, you ain't ghat time for playing around, it has to be as a lead-up to marriage. But whatever u said that made him propose marriage in the next breathe? Wawuu! On ur part, your problem is not knowing this man that suddenly wants to marry you, or trying to see if your goals and values align. Your own headache is Ikorodu - a house he rented ni o. Wawuu! Did he tell u that his placenta is buried in the house? Or are you guys marrying tomorrow morning? This is a simple something. Discuss with him as someone who u could be spending ur life with (that already gives u a high stake in the conversation), explain calmly and respectfully why the marriage life cannot begin in Ikorodu. He can rent out the place and get another place. Personally, I won't leave in Ikorodu for free. Too much senrere in one place - traffic, long distance from work, flooding, badoo, rituals, all the bad things na there. As for you saying you can marry a man you don't love... My sister go and ask married peolle questions let them tell you from experience. Do not subject your life to that torture! People who love each other face tribulations inside marriage, e come be u wey no even love the guy. Please, that love which you say would grow inside marriage, grow it first outside the marriage. Yes, love is overrated by loads of paparazzi and hog wash, but take it as truth - Love is VERY important for a happy marriage. When the gbege start, its the love and friendship founded on strong foundation that keeps the couple going. I've read some posts here where you said "assuming he consulted you before making the move decision.." Nne as at when that decision was made, u were his neighbor, plain and simple. You had no stake at all on his life decisions. Why would he seek your approval for his relocation plans? ![]() Btw, if my brother's proposal got turned down because of a rented apartment he just got, he'd not marry her cos she obviously does not love him at all |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by wrongnumber: 4:58am On Aug 24, 2017 |
alexialin:On the contrary I think this thread lacks substance and it seems the story is fabricated so asking the mod to close the thread is unnecessary cos the thread was not front page worthy but should be under the joke section. Who rejects a marriage proposal cos of a temporary place of residence? you could have said "yes I will but is it possible to get another....." If every day starts to reject proposals from guys who live in ajah because of traffic congestion,lekki and VI because of flood,Ajegumle and okokomaiko because its ghetto... |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by WhoBeThisMan: 5:01am On Aug 24, 2017 |
I love in ikorodu, my dear where I stay with my wife and son is very safe and nice. Trust me ikorodu is not that bad at all, it was only the recent badoo stuff that had died down now. But then again, if it's badoo you are scarred of, don't you think it could also easily spread to other part of Lagos? But trust me, it's has stopped. Why don't you take your time to know this an, go and see the place he rented, make a better informed decision. And by the way, where is your business located? It ay just be accessible by ferry which is way better than car. My wife works on the island, but she gets to work as early as 7am alexialin: |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by greatman247(m): 5:26am On Aug 24, 2017 |
If you truly like him then give him a precise answer that you've accepted but you will not live or want him to live in Improving because of the excuse you gave. Cos girl are like that. If the man come go marry another woman now den go come see say he was bad, irrational, he jilted me. No you only succeeded in confusing him with your diplomatic answer. |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by CeeManCollins(m): 5:39am On Aug 24, 2017 |
If he dates and dumps you you complain, now he came up with marriage proposal you quickly said no just because he is moving to an unsafe location. Instead of instantly saying no u didn't think it was best u say YES but on the condition that he gives room for dialogue, where you tell him that him that he has to reconsider another location other than Ikorodu which can be closer or central to where your places of work. Come to think of it, as neighbors you guys have already dated, you must not sleep each other before you know he is near or the best man for you. He only proposed and has not taking you to the altar. Believe me you guys know a lot about each other as neighbors aside not dating. He would not have propose to you if he saw men trooping in and out of your place, or different men coming to drop u off after sleeping with them at their places or hotels. My dear people dated years and ended not been married some who did some of their marriages didn't last though some did too. So find out what keeps a relationship going and make Urs work. There are no perfect men but I see u losing a would be husband because of Ikorodu. CeeMan |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by colbankz(m): 5:46am On Aug 24, 2017 |
alexialin:truly u loved him but hiding yourfeelings under the guise that u've not dated him |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by claremont(m): 5:49am On Aug 24, 2017*. Modified: 7:09am On Aug 25, 2017 |
The OP initially said she wouldn't marry the man because he has chosen to live in Ikorodu. A few weeks after that statement, the OP has now said that she has ''investigated'' the man and found out that he is married, apparently. I bet if the man had said he lived in Lekki, Ikeja etc, she wouldn't have bothered to do her so-called investigation. The actions of some ladies like the OP unwittingly reinforce the negative stereotype of a certain group of women. One thing is certain though, the clock is ticking. ![]() alexialin:Just look at the emboldened statement above credited to the OP, I honestly don't think any reasonable man would want to spend the rest of his life with this kind of person. The man in question dodged a bullet in my opinion. The OP is calling men who sacrificed their time here to respond to her post as daft, mumu etc, but she would rather listen to the views of the vast array of single, middle-aged frustrated women in this section of Nairaland telling her what she wants to hear. I say again, the man dodged a massive 7.62mm bullet here. |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by bugativeron: 5:50am On Aug 24, 2017 |
alexialin: |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by Olujava(m): 6:26am On Aug 24, 2017 |
It's not compulsory d guy take u to ikorodu.. sit him down and tell him all these ikorodu phobias.. I think he can still collect his paid rent and rent a better place where d two of u agree on. |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by MicroSweet(m): 7:00am On Aug 24, 2017 |
alexialin:I love this. Safety first. You arent choosy but sincere. Try convincing him to forget the Ikorodu of a place. I'd do the same if I were you. I love my peace of mind |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by vicovico(m): 7:01am On Aug 24, 2017 |
You guys can be good friends first, before taking it to another level , you can be good friends with someone and the same time not being able to date that same person, the young man in question might be harmless but its left for you to find out that, then you guys can plan together, its a lady that is supposed to choose the location of her prospective home to avoid quarreling tomorrow, all the same, good luck |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by blacq2009(m): 7:12am On Aug 24, 2017 |
Pls I need reasonable views and replies about this issue[/quote]Why do you need our views again? So you can go accept his proposal? Ayam not understanding. |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by Topmaike007(m): 7:38am On Aug 24, 2017 |
alexialin:aunty what type of story is dis one again oo?but u did nt include it in d first write up. |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by pryme(m): 7:40am On Aug 24, 2017 |
Gist247:Luckily the stage gives a lot of gems, I revive Lara a couple of times then I save the clues when I have almost collected all the clues. I don end the game make I rest small. |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by crunchyg: 7:44am On Aug 24, 2017 |
alexialin:Babe I took time to read your post and your comments in comment section, it was able to deduce that you are interested in settling down with this guy but your only concern is ikorodu, traffic, and distance. I as a person would have expected you to have pointed out to him there concerns when he asked you to marry him and see if there would be amendments, if he really deep interested in marrying he will compromise maybe in the area of changing his mind about the ikorodu area. So my opinion is talk to him about your concerns which you stated here, see how you guys can reach a compromise then accept his proposal. Don't allow what you can handle deprive you of what you want. Goodluck |
| Re: Am I Too Choosy? by Chukazu: 7:47am On Aug 24, 2017 |
alexialin:Firstly, have you been to Ikorodu or your paranoid is based on "hear say?" If Ikorodu is too bad as you painted it, humans would never live there Every thing you mention can be taken care of you can sit with him and find a solution Why don't you visit the place to douse your fears? |
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