₦airaland Forum

aiyele200:
I did not come here to insinuate that what was fishy is cheating. I for one have perished that thought at first thinking. We all know here that unfaithfulness is what actually leads to cheating if not well handled. This is the issue we have beenw much can a man take? To make more known, I reported the issue the next day to her dad, he told me he'll call her, but instead he decided to come 4 days later to see her in person to talk to her, but a day before, I had already arrange cash to bail her out, I can recall her kneeling down in front of me crying and thanking me for rescuing her, to the extent of sending me a txt saying she never thought I'll bail her out on the very last day of deadline, that she will never let me down by stopping to ask for loan, blv me you, a day after the father came to talk to her, I overheard her talking to the same segun requesting for a larger amount of loan this time around. My system just ran down that I had to go out for a drink and just be myself.

aiyele200:
I did not come here to insinuate that what was fishy is cheating. I for one have perished that thought at first thinking. We all know here that unfaithfulness is what actually leads to cheating if not well handled. This is the issue we have been battling for 6 years now, haba! How much can a man take? To make more known, I reported the issue the next day to her dad, he told me he'll call her, but instead he decided to come 4 days later to see her in person to talk to her, but a day before, I had already arrange cash to bail her out, I can recall her kneeling down in front of me crying and thanking me for rescuing her, to the extent of sending me a txt saying she never thought I'll bail her out on the very last day of deadline, that she will never let me down by stopping to ask for loan, blv me you, a day after the father came to talk to her, I overheard her talking to the same segun requesting for a larger amount of loan this time around. My system just ran down that I had to go out for a drink and just be myself.

coolcatty:
Dullina... Whoever gave u access to a smartphone should be tied to a stake and shot..... You obviously see nothing wrong with a supposed married woman going to collect loans without her husband's knowledge.....Something she didn't discuss with her husband..... How do u guys reason?

tamethem:
You are mentally derailed and you dont deserve to be among the living for this kind of reply you gave me you may not livë to see the coming new year.

Did I insult you. How on earth do you think you can just be raining insult on ppl on the internet without knowing who they are. I didnt insult you. Did I?

Was it stated the husband of the lady said he was not aware of her getting loan from the guy?
The husband said he knows the guy as the one loaning his wife and her sister.

You can mention me to sick mods like you who wouldnt follow the trend of replies before banning.

You and the Baboos that gave birth to you are sick.

coolcatty:
Get lost... Who is asking for all these rubbish explanations from a degenerate like u?

U r dull... Grossly dull... That's not in contention.... And let's see who will not see the coming year.

tamethem:
e pain am

coolcatty:
Lol.... Go and make peace man

Achiles:
Are you a man at all? How dare you sob like this when your wife is having affair right in front of you. How can you agree to her borrowing money from a man to the extent that the man turn to driver or some sort of family and friend. It is clear your wife does not respect you at all. You better act like a man.

GAZZUZZ:

spineless weak boy. You should be ashamed of your self for even writing about this. Your case is pathetic and Irredeemable.

Chubhie:
Perish the thoughts about her cheating. Try and repay the loans then ask your wife to severe further business dealings with segun.

If she adheres without blinking an eye then all is presumably well but if not, find that thing uniting them.

Somehow the thoughts of segun is unsettling to you? honestly ask yourself why and then deal with it.

segun could be a nice harmless guy you know?

Chubhie:
Perish the thoughts about her cheating. Try and repay the loans then ask your wife to severe further business dealings with segun.

If she adheres without blinking an eye then all is presumably well but if not, find that thing uniting them.

Somehow the thoughts of segun is unsettling to you? honestly ask yourself why and then deal with it.

segun could be a nice harmless guy you know?

aiyele200:
[s]Hello Nlanders,

I am really sorry for myself for not taking the bull by the horn that very day @ d filling station, I concur with so many people here blaming me for not taking the necessary action that ought to have corrected her obscured attitude.

However, some people here seem not to understand the facts, I am the one living with her and I know everything, maybe not all, that is going on. I set up her daycare which is her first business, though shes got enough kids, but with our current economic situation in Nigeria, one can hardly save when fees are being paid, and I pretty much understand that, thats the reason why I dont even ask her to bring anything to the table. Secondly, I have invest thounsands in her buying and selling business, thats where the un-accountability comes in. She will sell, and whatever comes in, she does not know where the rest goes after paying some bills. No savings, nothing whatsoever, profit and investment gone. It is when she needs money to actually get something done at the day care, thats when she calls segun for loan, because she knows I wont raise her the money knowing fully well all I have been doing. Another thing is that, she wants to set up a bigger place that will have a school, and she knows quite well that the budget to set up such is not my own reach for now, thats why she sometimes consult this guy to discuss loan and collateral. To be sincere, I have been text conversations and have listened to recordings between them, even after I had sorted this her last loan, nothing seems to be to he shady from their convo and their ways of conversing, though only God knows all. And to be very clear here, the loan company does exist, the guy works with them, but it just seem like the dude has specific clients he works with which probably my wife and her sister are part of them. The last convo I listened to was about investing the 2 million naira shes expecting from a loan company want to loan her that she applied for, because I had to go listen to the convo again and it was about investing the money with them and making it work.


I hope my explanation here sheds some light, though that very day still is a mystery, my daughter actually told me they went to the hospital when I asked her, and she was being sincere, all the same, only God knows what the koko is.

note: I have never met the sgun in person, but from the time she started getting loas, she told me about the company and the guy he is contaxting there who is segun. Nvever met in person until the day at the filling station[/s]

aiyele200:
Hello Nlanders,

I am really sorry for myself for not taking the bull by the horn that very day @ d filling station, I concur with so many people here blaming me for not taking the necessary action that ought to have corrected her obscured attitude.

However, some people here seem not to understand the facts, I am the one living with her and I know everything, maybe not all, that is going on. I set up her daycare which is her first business, though shes got enough kids, but with our current economic situation in Nigeria, one can hardly save when fees are being paid, and I pretty much understand that, thats the reason why I dont even ask her to bring anything to the table. Secondly, I have invest thounsands in her buying and selling business, thats where the un-accountability comes in. She will sell, and whatever comes in, she does not know where the rest goes after paying some bills. No savings, nothing whatsoever, profit and investment gone. It is when she needs money to actually get something done at the day care, thats when she calls segun for loan, because she knows I wont raise her the money knowing fully well all I have been doing. Another thing is that, she wants to set up a bigger place that will have a school, and she knows quite well that the budget to set up such is not my own reach for now, thats why she sometimes consult this guy to discuss loan and collateral. To be sincere, I have been text conversations and have listened to recordings between them, even after I had sorted this her last loan, nothing seems to be to he shady from their convo and their ways of conversing, though only God knows all. And to be very clear here, the loan company does exist, the guy works with them, but it just seem like the dude has specific clients he works with which probably my wife and her sister are part of them. The last convo I listened to was about investing the 2 million naira shes expecting from a loan company want to loan her that she applied for, because I had to go listen to the convo again and it was about investing the money with them and making it work.


I hope my explanation here sheds some light, though that very day still is a mystery, my daughter actually told me they went to the hospital when I asked her, and she was being sincere, all the same, only God knows what the koko is.

note: I have never met the sgun in person, but from the time she started getting loas, she told me about the company and the guy he is contaxting there who is segun. Nvever met in person until the day at the filling station

jayloms:
Why don't you just pray your own na haba!!

@op, it's very unfortunate your wife undermines your person. I understand you make all the provisions for your family, yet as little as respect for you, she cannot bring to the table.

I wonder whether she would give a damn! about you when your children become grown and move outta the house.

Please op put your foot down, you are in Lagos!

aiyele200:
Hi Nlanders,

Good morning and happy weekend. I am posting this due to the fact that my patience and understanding is being taken for granted by my wife. 6 years already into this marriage, disobedience and unfaithfulness in terms of not being straightforward with me has been the order of the marriage, though a times, the woman changes for good, then later she starts again.

One sunday afternoon after returning back from church, she quickly rushed to me saying she wanted to go and drop her sister at the hospital since the first malaria treatment she had didnt work. I asked where the hospital is, said somewhere in gbagada, knowing fully well that my wife does not know gbagada well, and knowing well also that she was going with the kids, I volunteered to drop them off, but she kept mute, and her body language showed that she didnt want me to drop them off. So I said, plz be careful, gave her money to branch at the filling station to top up the fuel in the car.

On their way going, I got hungry cos lunch was not prepared b4 they left, I decided to rush down to the nearest eatery to get sumtin to eat, on entering my own car, figured out my fuel was low, so I decided to go to the filling station. On getting there, I was packed at my wife's car, she was actually standing beside the passenger side which is weird, cos she was the one that drove off, I looked at the drivers side, and I could see a man's head. So my wife came to meet me, said she just paid for fuel, they are leaving now, at that time, I was expecting her to at least explain who the person at the drivers seat was, with my kids in the car oooo!!! She just went straight to the passenger side and closed the door. I was really stunned and surprised.

I pressed the horn for her to come down, soon as she came down, she immediately said, oh i forgot to ask you if it was ok for Segun to drop us at the hospital, I was like why, she said because he seems to know the place. Funny thing is, this guy I have never met before, but she has told me about him b4 and I know him as the guy that loans she and her sister money when urgent funds are needed. So she called the dude down from the car, introduced him proper and I asked them to leave. A lot of people will sure blame me for allowing someone I dont really know to drive my family to a location, but at that moment I was still stunned because to me it was the highest level of mistrust and disappointment, so I could not take a drastic move @ that moment. They left, and the same guy dropped them off.

That night, I called my wife and sat her down, that I need an explanation on how the whole scene played out, cos I volunteered to go and drop you guys, u didnt answer me, and all of a sudden, I am seeing another man whether known or unknown person in the car with my kids without u telling me b4 u left the house that someone was going to drive u guys. She responded saying, to be sincere, they had plans seeing the guy at the bus stop to discuss loan, but she decided to have the guy drive them since he knows the hospital and since he is a man. I was like fine, but when u came to meet me, I thought u were supposed to tell me who was in the car, instead u walked off, she said actually I forgot, that it was the moment that u pressed the horn that I realized I was suppose to ask u if it was ok for segun to drive us. Oh well, they say communication is key in marriages, I will not say she was lying, thought I know something dont add up, so I moved on.

But the damn thing that really got me worried was that, few days to that very day, I noticed her being worried and soliloquizing, asked her what the problem is, claimed that its the money she lent last from the segun guy which she has not been able to pay is what is worrying her, that the dude has been askeing her for the money since it has elapsed the paying time. With that alone, it gave me a worrying thought that, it was the same guy that I ended up seeing on code @ d filling station driving my family off.

Nlanders, sorry for the long epistle, if I dont explain well, you guys wont understand in details, for the married guys and ladies, whats your take on this issue? Does something really isnt adding up?

Thanks!

aiyele200:
To be sincere, i invested so much money in both of her businesses, the problem is that she does not know how to manage funds, very wasteful and uncountable for her spendings, and yet does not bring anything to the table in the family. I pay full rent, school fees, feeding and all. Thats why I even got worried after all investment, she is still lending money.

PaperLace:
Who is Segun?
Why is your wife so disrespectful and dishonest?
Why did you entrust money to a financially irresponsible woman?
Who introduced the other to Segun? Your wife or her sister?

Have this in mind:
1. Segun that had the guts to drive another man's wife and kids, wouldn't hesitate to sleep with her.
2. When she went borrowing from Segun (without your consent), you lost a good percentage of your respect before Segun.
2b. The moment she drove off with Segun,you lost whatever was left of your respect in (2a).
2c. If Segun had any single fear, he would come down from that car to greet you! Even if it's fake!
2d. Segun is now feeling important. Don't try that nonsense of letting such slide in the name of modern husband.
3. Get back some of your respect by ensuring she severes further ties with Segun. If she continues talking with Segun after all that happened. Segun will crown you President of dormant husbands.

When you start hiding things from your spouse, cheating is very close by. Transparency in marriage activates your conscience, making it difficult for you to do things you won't be proud of.

I wouldn't trust such a wife. Talk to her.

She may not be cheating yet, but the road to adultery is paved with good intentions.

potent5:
May we never fall victim to cheating women /wives. Amen.

Icekeeng:
Lord have mercy on me.
Mr OP I'm going tell you a little bit about my past;
I use to have an affair with a married woman. it all started when she'd come borrowing money from me which she regularly paid back. it continued for sometime and we were communicating more freely and frequently.
it got to a stage where I made advances to her cause I felt she was letting me in or should I say giving me the green light.
She sometimes didn't need to repay the loans cause well, you know we were sorting it out elsewhere.
She one day suggested to bring her kid along to my apartment so no one would suspect or notice what was actually going on.
I'm not asking you to use this as a yardstick but you've gotta wise up because when a married woman starts borrowing especially from men;
1. She shares with him some marital *space*
2 He begins to lose respect for the husband, having that feeling he may not be financially capable
i pray God help you.

EgunMogaji:
OP, this is totally your fault. You did not set out ground rules in your relationship. People will treat you as you allow them to treat you.

I trust my Wife, Hajjia Kudirat Ibadi Aran Iya Silifatu Anike, she will not try me like that. When her lineage are not stark lunatics

You're the man and the head of the household. You are to set the tone on acceptable and unacceptables.

A man is in your wifes car driving your wife and kids. A man is providing loan to your Wife. Bet why?

loshybab:
why do I have this feeling that you're an Oyo state man,particularly Ibadan, with that 2nd paragraph

EgunMogaji:
Ibadan mesi ogo, ibi ole gbe njare onihun.

cymontempler:
If I were Op,

I will conduct a DNA test on kids. Segun may be the father of the kids. For her to be soliloquizing could be a sign of confusion, troubled and desperate thoughts followed by action.

On one hand, she may be building house secretly. On the other hand, she may be fcuuking Segun both with knowledge of her sister.

You need to monitor her closely. If she uses WhatsApp message me I will tell you how to read all her messages directly on your phone.

I hate cheating & ungrateful women.

Ajokebelle what do you reckon?

cymontempler:
Loshyhab.

You will download an app on your phone.
Open the app once downloaded.. Follow the instructions and then you will need to scan the code of the other person with your phone.

Hope you are not hypertensive?

cymontempler:
Loshyhab.

You will download an app on your phone.
Open the app once downloaded.. Follow the instructions and then you will need to scan the code of the other person with your phone.

Hope you are not hypertensive?