kennygee:
She should have quietly left instead of cheating. She can still leave.

There are numerous women who support their families with little or no input from their husbands, a good number of them didn't resort to adultery.

I believe there are some who separated or divorced their husbands on account of their financial irresponsibility.

Its better to leave than cheat in a marriage.

Is she cheating? The marriage is long over. Do you foresee her going back to her husband that could not even pay his rent. The problem with op's sister is not about cheating but with the way she is leading her life. She has gone through two hectic marriages and she hadn't learnt her lesson. One would think she would draw a grand plan for her breakthrough and remain dedicated to it, so she could have her kids together and make them better.

She had returned back to what has caused her pains. Very soon, she would be put in a family way again only this time with younger and less capable boyfriend! Or just maybe she is looking for love aibeit wrongly.

Skmoda360:

bros you must say your mind joor.

E b like say MOD dey time d guy b4 them go ban am again

So him wan tread with caution this time

Melodyz:




Seriously I don't want to Invade her space, and besides I'm graduate but have no experience via marriage stuffs.... I don't see it as a big of a deal asking those sort of questions

Why do you keep using "via?"

To your story, I'm sorry to say, but there's probably something your sister isn't doing right...to be unlucky in marriage twice, and her in-laws wanting nothing to do with her. Rather than trying to be dependent on men, she should fix her life and turn to God. Her current husband may be a better man if he had more support from his wife. Her marriage can still be salvalged. She should turn to God sincerely, otherwise, things may never really be well with her.

Ya sister is receiving bedroom communion..wetin consine you

Benita27:
What was the so called husband expecting when he failed to be responsible to his wife and kids?. As far as I'm concerned, they stopped being married long ago, perhaps you think she's still married 'cause they've not divorced legally. That being said, if you're concerned about her life I'm sure she'll ask you to mind your business 'cause she's an adult.

you are a wise woman

nrexzy:
Advise her oo or even report her to d husband

Are you ok?

Your sister is wicked, she is even extending the wickedness to her son. Why can't she take care of even her son when she can. If the boy grows up tomorrow and become something else , she will blame the devil? Does she think that if takes care of the son and the becomes somebody tomorrow in the society the the boy boy will forget her? Haba if she can't help the man at least she should take care of her son. You go ahead and talk to her especially concerning her son to avoid regret later in life. She has her life to live. Divorce or no divorce it is obvious they can't co-habitate any longer but if anything happens to that man any day, she is answerable to that bet me.

Why didn't you add this to the main article ? You just focused on your sister and her bad sides as though her husband is an angel.

I respect your sister because even after life dealt with her she still found a way to be productive by working hard and being able to afford her own apartment and upkeep. Nobody wants a useless man.

Melodyz:




What I understand is that she feels that if she continues to shoulder the responsibilities the husband will continue to be reluctant to do something tangible with his life.

The man drinks and smoke a lot without bringing money to help out in the family

Just look at the useless man you want your sister to return to.

Melodyz:



Going to a year now, the husband has never for once asked about his daughter, his son that is with him sef has no formal textbooks they use in school and my sis refuses to send to him to buy textbooks for him, saying he is his responsibility

Young man, if what you said is the truth, your sister have no blame whatsoever. She should not die, because she is unlucky in marriage. She has survive to take care of her children. The few time she sends you money, do know where such money come from? Or how she got it.

So doesn't the African culture say that men should be the breadwinners? Or are you a hypocrite?

highchief1:
we are Africans

You seem to be dyslexic. What part of the article suggests that the woman disregards the well being of her children? Na wa for your train of thought.

Freeman59:


Well to me the woman is more irresponsible. She disregards the well being of her children just for the pleasure of sex. Shame on her. You should shame her to if you are not biased

What I am most concerned about here is, what kind of man is she seeing now? Hope it's not the same drinking, smoking, womanizing type. Please since you are there for now, watch this guy carefully and find out if he is any better than her husband. If he isn't, advice her to choose wisely.

Make every effort to ensure she brings back her son to stay with her. This man is no role model for a child to live with. She is just setting the poor boy, who didn't ask to be born, up for destruction.

As for her marriage, you people should return her bride price with immediate effect. Na una chop the money, she say she nor dey do again, no be by force.

He was probably raised by a goat. You never know

selflessmaya:


dude, you're so uncouth. have some respect and stop talking like a tout, it's not edgy, you're embarrassing yourself. all your sisters have nigerian pussy, you were pushed into this world by a nigerian vagina, respect your mother's public part and speak about women with some respect! u were not raised by a goat.

How hard is it being a man? Do you know the pain of child bearing is the second worst pain a human being can experience ? The first being getting burnt alive.

The op's sister is a very strong woman. If after all she went through in her previous marriage she still had the courage to move on and is now financially independent then she is truly a strong independent woman.

The man is loser.

sholajigga:


The bottom line is, these women don’t know it’s not easy being a man.

Its obvious you were raised by a lipstick wearing goat.

komododragons:
do you have a sense at all

women don't respect themselves so I should respect women

even the goat should be highly be respected than the so called women we have who can open their yansh for Africa!

so piss off

Melodyz:



Going to a year now, the husband has never for once asked about his daughter, his son that is with him sef has no formal textbooks they use in school and my sis refuses to send to him to buy textbooks for him, saying he is his responsibility

Ur sister is heartless, what kind of woman is that? no wonder the people he married their son pursued her the first place. Stupid fellow, let her continue with her adulterous life, teach her daughter bad things, what goes around must surely come around. As for the son, when he finally grow up and make it in life, she will know that she is on a very long thing.

Hahaha.....I remember that useless thread. Trust Nigerian hypocritical men to support him.

pweetiedee:


The OP is a man na. What do u expect.

That's how one guy complained that his very pretty mum has a boyfriend when his father has being living with his own sweet sixteen for years and has stopped being intimate with his mum since Gos knows when.

You don't have sense.

angelusbrut:


Ur sister is heartless, what kind of woman is that? no wonder the people he married their son pursued her the first place. Stupid fellow, let her continue with her adulterous life, teach her daughter bad things, what goes around must surely come around. As for the son, when he finally grow up and make it in life, she will know that she is on a very long thing.

She has for forgotten vows o cz it says fr richer fr poorer so make she de dia odawise end it cz is adultery no matter what

Melodyz:
It's a very long story but let me cut it short

Back in my secondary days my sister got married to a man from Imo state, within two years they gave birth to two beautiful daughters (twins), few months after giving birth the husband was diagnosed with eye cancer, which after much treatment he passed away.

The families of the man refused my sister of everything, they went as far as telling her to go away with the kids, that they are evil, that they want nothing to do with her and the children. So she came back home, my parents tried everything possible to resolve the issue but to no avail, so we accepted the kids as ours, they even started bearing our last name.

Few years later a man asked for my sister's hand in marriage, like two to three years into the marriage she gave birth to a boy and a girl, by then I was already schooling in UNN and I normally don't travel back home constantly. She calls at times to ask how I was doing and sometimes complains of how her husband doesn't bring money for anything in the house, that she is the one that pays for everything concerning the kids schooling, that she can count the number of times her husband brings money for paying of rent and for feeding.

She reported him to his people but nothing was done, after much complaining she said she's not interested in the marriage anymore, some of our family members advise her not to leave the marriage that is not right via her being married before, but she refused, that she can't be the man in the house by taking care of everything that they (the husband and her) should be doing together. So she went ahead to rent her own apartment and brought along her the two kids, few months after moving out her husband was evicted for failing to pay his rent.

I graduated this year and decided to go visit her and from there find something doing before I leave for service, on my reaching there I asked her what is happening via her marriage, she told me that since she moved here her husband has never for once asked of the kids, even to send money for their upkeep he has not done it, so out of anger he sent his son to him as he is the eldest, to take care of him.

Since I got to her house there is this guy that visits her and calls her constantly, she even visits him almost if not every night.

I want to talk to her about it, so everyone in the house please what can I do? Should I stay mute or not? If not, what should I tell her?

The mistake has been made. You should learn from your sister's experience and try not to suffer her fate. Make sure you can sustain yourself financially before you get married. The same advice goes to any woman today that aspires respect and peace of mind in her family. If you depend on your husband for financial support, he will treat you the same way he treats an empty bottle of beer. And NEVER give up your job for any man. You can even run a career / business from home, but make sure you are financially independent before marriage. That way, you can tell your husband to go to hell when he decides to feed you ratshit.

sKy007:
The man could not even pay his rent which means that he is seriously financially handicap, therefore for the wife to leave him at such instances shows that she is not understanding

Why conclude that his financially handicapped when there's no evidence of such from the story. If he was financially handicapped his wouldn't be expecting much from him as long as she help out. So, concluding and blaming her as you did is wrong.
I guess she's an unfortunate woman in relationships.

Melodyz:



Going to a year now, the husband has never for once asked about his daughter, his son that is with him sef has no formal textbooks they use in school and my sis refuses to send to him to buy textbooks for him, saying he is his responsibility

she should go and take her son. Pls.
He's better off staying with her.
also I cringe when I reason he may get exposed to vices early with a negligent father.
pls

Why is the husband unable to cater for his family? Is the issue willingness or capacity, is he making efforts?
While you are answering the questions above, move out from her place if it means going back home cause sooner or later you will start getting used to what she is doing and start making excuses for her in your mind.

Shuoooo....see Marriage counsellors, Relationship experts that are very good n scattering.....wehdone all of u

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Greenbullet:
Nobody should insult the woman, it is not easy to take care of a child talk less of 4 , why are men this useless, you can't even pay house rent but you can drink crates of beer , all dis small boys on this thread go dey curse the woman , when una still dey collect allowance.

You on point brother.

Melodyz:




Seriously I don't want to Invade her space, and besides I'm graduate but have no experience via marriage stuffs.... I don't see it as a big of a deal asking those sort of questions

Stop using "via" wrongly bro.. Hope you know it's a synonym of "through". It should be I have no experience about (not via) marriage.

That said, advise your sister to get a divorce. It's as simple as that.

Melodyz:



Going to a year now, the husband has never for once asked about his daughter, his son that is with him sef has no formal textbooks they use in school and my sis refuses to send to him to buy textbooks for him, saying he is his responsibility

Bear in mind that the son she shipped off to the father will definitely grow up to hate his mother. She should've just catered for him rather than shipping him off to the irresponsible man she got married to.