₦airaland Forum

purplecoco:
As long as one of them has friend-zoned each other, there's no frickin' way they can remain friends. I mean my boyfriend then used to have a "female bestie", she was cool and all, I had no idea she crushed on him, and sometimes when I'll be having a conversation with him, he talks about her, but he doesn't feel anything for her. I didn't feel comfortable about it, and I told him that I don't want him to be friends with her,LOL. I never thought I was gonna be one of those girls.....

To be continued...

can't wait for episode 2

Mrnairalandd:
Stupid mentality

If your man wants him out, respect that and build your own future.

Bragging here ll only leave you in your father house as a sprinter until menopause set in.

If you are with a wonderful dude who doesn’t joke with his woman, he might not be comfy with male best friend. If your so called friend really has your interest in his heart, he ll be the one to advise you to hold on to your man while he finds his way.

Any dude that advise you against it is not your best friend in the first place.

Let me even shock you, from personal experience, i used to have a best friend right from year 6. We were born and raised in the same neighbourhood. Along the line, my family relocated to a new city and we lost contact cos there were no phones then. Few years after, we met again and our friendship began... Fast forward to 2009, all my girlfriends were having big issue with the fact that i was having her as a best friend. To cut the long story short, the moment any of my ex complained about her, i ll dump the babe and straight to another babe. I dumped all my ex that were complaining about my relationship with her then just to prove to her that our friendship was made from heaven. Finally, few months later, she started her own relationship with one dude like that and the dude wasn’t comfy with my presence in her life, she called me one day on the phone and end our friendship right there. Today, they are still happily married with 3 kids and i am happy for her. The lesson of this story is that if you compromise your future husband for him, he might dump your ass when he meets his own future wife.

Until you fall in love

Of course, I will set limit if my husband is concerned. But come to think of it, it's how you create a foundation that gives room for concern. If you make moves that are suspicious, it would be a problem. But if your moves are in public eyes. Where everybody see, and know nothing out of the blue is going on then there won't be a cause of concern to warrant problems.

I get your point, my husband should come first and it will. Thanks for your input, I appreciate. I'm an only child, so this my bestie just feels like a big brother to me.

Bestie as in? For what now? It has happened to me ooooo. From Bestie to bedie to sexie. I couldn't believe myself, abeg forget that thing.
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Ginaz:
I have a bestie, and I won't leave him for anything in the world. Sometimes we all need a best friend regardless of the sex gender. There are complicated things you would want to sort out but can't tell your bf yet, you need someone to push you through, to make you feel free and feel relaxed.

My bestie is one hell of a crazy dude, so blunt, carefree, intelligent and annoying most times lol. It amuses me when he tells me about girls he like to lash in his dreams. I would be like "you this boy, may God help you".


We both know our boundaries, we both know sex would spoil our relationship so we haven't crossed that line. I have never slept over in his house or visited. He visits me at home where eyes are everywhere and we get to talk intimately about things so deep. We have been friends for 4 years now. So no need to get jealous.

You can have a bestie with the opposite sex so far you set limits.

I love my bestie,and ya! We can quarrel for Africa

when you marry. Get a new best friend. Your husband

monex:
when you marry. Get a new best friend. Your husband

Of course! The key word my husband...not for a boyfriend that is still thinking if he wants the relationship to continue or not. I had a life before I met him, had friends too.

alexialin:
Well I don't believe in this bestie thing sha.

I will say I have a close male friend apart from my bf but we always chat online. Cause we live far apart from each other and our jobs with our personal relationships with our separate companions, will not even allow us hang out or meet up with appointments. So at the end of the day, my bf is not jealous and his gf is not jealous. I think it's better that way.
Cos I remember way back an ex was like, I should take one week break from work and travel with him to the east and am like honey, sorry I can't just leave my biz and travel down for one week. The next he said was that he's taking his bestie along and Yea she's free bcoz she is a student. I was so mad and I was like so u will both lodge in the same hotel for one week? Are u kidding me?
He said yes and whatever happens then happens.
I was like really?
Anyways we didn't last long, because he's always with his bestie, whose bf stays abroad.
Long story cut short, such Waka Waka between besties and bf , I don't support.
It's better we call it off than give my self High bp worrying over what they must have done countless of times behind my back.
Make he Kukuma date his bestie, what does he want me for anyways.
And everybody waka

There was one time he even said his bestie had made him lost out in. Past relationships with good ladies. I was now. Like, then no need having a lover, just confirm your love for your precious bestie, make una make am official. Than wasting other ladies time. He said they cannot date her cos she's Inlove with her bf abroad and wants to marry the bf but at the same time she has feelings for him. And can't marry him. And it's only reasonable making her his bestie.

Lol

Some guys and ladies are just too confused in this life

I can't deal abeg.

Infact Mo raye oshi.

gbasibe na d koko

Ere ki 'laja ba ekun sé

majekdom2:
any relationship with an opposite gender bestie other than the lovers themselves is a failure whether converted or unconverted

Big lie. I onced had a female bestie, we did everything together. I was the one screening the bf she had, till we reached the one she got married too.. Fa fa fa fowl. It's the strength of the characters of the individuals involved

You can't be in a SERIOUS relationship and have a bestie of opposite sex.


If you have one, then you are not in any meaningful relationship.

Ginaz:
Please don't corrupt me with your vile thoughts. What is wrong with people? Cos a boy and a girl are friends mean they should have sex? I don't get it!

4 years of friendship, do you think we won't have had sex if we wanted?

Don't think it's everybody that has sex on their agenda. Watch what you say to me cos I will not have that awful words you are saying.

Tell them. My own bestie was best friends with me for four solid years. Sadly none of the bobos coming knew i was the one one saying no, no, no. Should i shock you, that my decisions impacted 70% on whom she married. Didn't touch her for one single day in any way. The friendship was rock solid. When she married, i just swapped my number so she could go enjoy her marriage. But it was pure, platonic and clean. Heaven saw it. Her parents even knew me !

Me and my female bestie have sex sometimes >

fatymore:
My Bf has female bestie well.. I don't even care.. They all know me.. I do delete their pictures on his phone cos they are course mates.. One thing I do is I stamped my authority and let them know he is Mine.. If they like they should have sex together, is the girl loss. I can't disturb myself ontop guy matter.. Mostly I befriend those girls too.. Just remove your mind from it.. What you don't see doesn't break your heart.. Most times we always feel relaxed having the opposite SEx as bestie.. I have male bestie too..

Does he also have sex with you

danduj:
Does he also have sex with you

is it your concern...

fatymore:
is it your concern...

you are mean

I wouldn't have a female bestie if I'm dating....because I wouldn't have time for the so called bestie.
but for the past three years I've had females as my best friend. and I've been single all the while.
no intimacy!

To be honest, the kind of person I am, my girlfriend will be my best friend. If I have another girl outside that I call my best friend while you're my girlfriend, I am sorry but that means I will leave you for that other girl soon.

movid:
gbasibe na d koko

:Dlol

Mrnairalandd:


Wrong wrong and wrong mentality

If your man wants him out, respect that and build your own future.

Bragging here ll only leave you in your father house as a sprinter until menopause set in.

If you are in a relationship with a wonderful dude who doesn’t joke with his woman, he might not be comfy with male best friend. If your so called friend really has your interest in his heart, he ll be the one to advise you to hold on to your man while he finds his way.

Any dude that advise you against it is not your best friend in the first place.



Let me even shock you, from personal experience, i used to have a best friend right from year 6. We were born and raised in the same neighbourhood. Along the line, my family relocated to a new city and we lost contact cos there were no phones then. Few years after, we met again and our friendship began... Fast forward to 2009, all my girlfriends were having big issue with the fact that i was having her as a best friend. To cut the long story short, the moment any of my ex complained about her, i ll dump the babe and straight to another babe. I dumped all my ex that were complaining about my relationship with her then just to prove to her that our friendship was made from heaven. Finally, few months later, she started her own relationship with one dude like that and the dude wasn’t comfy with my presence in her life, she called me one day on the phone and end our friendship right there. Today, they are still happily married with 3 kids and i am happy for her. The lesson of this story is that if you compromise your future husband for him, he might dump your ass when he meets his own future wife.

Until you fall in love

Chai !!!Bitter Experience. What you couldn't do to her, she did to you. Sorry Sir. Well, it is not wrong having a male or female friend as there will be acquaintances. What we even have most in our lives are acquaintances, and we should let it be dat way. But a opposite gender BESTIE na red flag cos no one knows the day emotions will overpower yu both.

In yur case sir, all those ex(es) yu dumped are not easily gotten back as they may have been hooked up elsewhere, but if you had excused your best friend initially, and you later break up with any of yur ex, yur excused bestie (friend) is easier to continue with as friends since yu are no longer in any relationship. My Opinion though, no mind me.

danduj:
you are mean

thank you.. Oya face front

KreativGenius:
Big lie. I onced had a female bestie, we did everything together. I was the one screening the bf she had, till we reached the one she got married too.. Fa fa fa fowl. It's the strength of the characters of the individuals involved

and you how about your GF? Someone will soon screen you out

majekdom2:
and you how about your GF? Someone will soon screen you out

I've been there.


Anyway, it's my statutory discipline never to mess with any guy's gf. I dn't like it. Naa, that's my moral code. Like the moment my bestie had a guy, i broke my sim card and stayed away till today

fatymore:
thank you.. Oya face front

I like you

KreativGenius:
Big lie. I onced had a female bestie, we did everything together. I was the one screening the bf she had, till we reached the one she got married too.. Fa fa fa fowl. It's the strength of the characters of the individuals involved

It is because yu are a gud and sincere person, just as yu mentioned strength of characters. The truth is that our generation is in trouble as we have become weak in morals. We all see and hear stories around and I cant blame anyone for being jealous whether in marriage or before marriage. Another truth is that the disadvantages of the so called opposite gender bestie(s) are more than the advantages. Na the season of days make am like that. So many times, it is better to avoid troubles and allow peace.

sharpwriter:
It is because yu are a gud and sincere person, just as yu mentioned strength of characters. The truth is that our generation is in trouble as we have become weak in morals. We all see and hear stories around and I cant blame anyone for being jealous whether in marriage or before marriage. Another truth is that the disadvantages of the so called opposite gender bestie(s) are more than the advantages. Na the season of days make am like that. So many times, it is better to avoid troubles and allow peace.

No not just from been good. Where I come from, the moment a lady has a guy, i'm not supposed to climb her oh.I don't know why people don't have conscience. The moment a lady has a guy, guys should let the lady be. Na lie. No discipline at all. I think many times we think with our dicks. I've been with my female bestie, rain fell, we went to her house, i slept on the same stuff with her,the cold and everything. The opportunity was there, but i thank God that always rescues me in moment of such opportunities. So male/female bestie is cool for me o. and i encourage it,so it boils to the strength of the characters involved !


If both parties aren't sure, then meeting in a public place or just digital chats would be okay. And conversations must be clean, and neat. I never ever talked with my bestie about sex or any such sh*t for four years. People should get it right for goodness sakes jare. All this free sex always causes problems

Only time shall tell if She is truely a bestie or Worstie

mrMeen:
i support you 100% just because of one girlfriend from above you'll destroy a friendship that maybe dates back to when you are kids. brother it's them that needs to grow up.

can u imagine.

i have a female bestie who is even supporting me in sch because of 1 girl wen call her self girl frd i go come lose her? noway !! not even my wife go say make i lose her.

RobinHez:
This bestie thing sef... I find it kinda irritating
Almost everytime, A male bestie is someone that a girl has friendzoned. Buh i usually like to call them assistant boyfriend, for reasons that are well too obvious. And the smart "besties" know how to use their position to their advantage.




I know what i just typed does not relate with the question. Don't point it out.

U made a point...

KreativGenius:
No not just from been good. Where I come from, the moment a lady has a guy, i'm not supposed to climb her oh.I don't know why people don't have conscience. The moment a lady has a guy, guys should let the lady be. Na lie. No discipline at all. I think many times we think with our dicks. I've been with my female bestie, rain fell, we went to her house, i slept on the same stuff with her,the cold and everything. The opportunity was dear, but i thank God that always rescues me in moment of such opportunities. So male/female bestie is cool for me o. and i encourage it,so it boils to the strength of the characters involved !


If both parties aren't sure, then meeting in a public place or just digital chats would be okay. And conversations must be clean, and neat. I never ever talked with my bestie about sex or any such sh*t for four years. People should get it right for goodness sakes jare. All this free sex always causes problems

I understand you. But it still boils down to being good with conscience. Then God's grace plus self discipline. My broda, few people care about culture or tradition o. They dont wanna know weda it is acceptable in societies. Or have yu not seen and read many comments on this nairaland how some narrate their escapades sleeping with married women and proud of it. You said yu were on the couch with her on a rainy day. Na the same rainy day happen to one girlfriend of my younger brother wey go greet her male friend. . They ended up sleeping with each other, ( I wont describe her personality so people reading wont get discouraged the more). She had to confess to my yunger bro because she knows he is faithful with her and gud to her. I wouldn't even call the guy best friend, but they must have been close enof to fall into each other's arms.

So, broda, sh!t happens. Na yu know yurself because morality and self dignity had fallen, and that is why I said I dont blame those who frowns at such opposite bestie tinx. Me myself, I am a jealous person, and I will talk my own if I feel disgruntled about anybody being around my girl. So, yu may trust anyone, and fvck up hppens, just as my bro trusted his girl, so I wouldn't buy anyone talking about feeling insecured or talking about trust issues. There was a lady some few months ago on this nairaland that said she cheated with her pastor, and her husband suspected her. If yu read her words keenly, yu will know that she has the aura and tone of being a bit spiritual even if it is minimal. The question is, How did she end up opening her legs for the pastor despite being married. It means there must have been some closeness which is unhealthy. So, bro, everybody wont be like yu and sh!t happens, and they happen a lot. May God help us.

ubunja:
stop telling a normal grown up adult who he can or cant be friends with.coz when he goes through your fone and asks who each and every guy in there is,u wont be happy.
only stupid guys end friendships to make a GF happy.if u play that stunt on me u will find yourself fired
dont make your insecurities my problem.
im friends with a lot of my exes.if a gal has a problem i will have one more ex on my list.
i dont negotiate.my happiness comes first.

I Dont need meet u to knw u av pride

Mrnairalandd:


Wrong wrong and wrong mentality

If your man wants him out, respect that and build your own future.

Bragging here ll only leave you in your father house as a sprinter until menopause set in.

If you are in a relationship with a wonderful dude who doesn’t joke with his woman, he might not be comfy with male best friend. If your so called friend really has your interest in his heart, he ll be the one to advise you to hold on to your man while he finds his way.

Any dude that advise you against it is not your best friend in the first place.

Let me even shock you, from personal experience, i used to have a best friend right from year 6. We were born and raised in the same neighbourhood. Along the line, my family relocated to a new city and we lost contact cos there were no phones then. Few years after, we met again and our friendship began... Fast forward to 2009, all my girlfriends were having big issue with the fact that i was having her as a best friend. To cut the long story short, the moment any of my ex complained about her, i ll dump the babe and straight to another babe. I dumped all my ex that were complaining about my relationship with her then just to prove to her that our friendship was made from heaven. Finally, few months later, she started her own relationship with one dude like that and the dude wasn’t comfy with my presence in her life, she called me one day on the phone and end our friendship right there. Today, they are still happily married with 3 kids and i am happy for her. The lesson of this story is that if you compromise your future husband for him, he might dump your ass when he meets his own future wife.

Until you fall in love

I didn't believe I'll find a comment as good as this on page 2 . I'm still at work otherwise I'd have loved to share a friend's experience also. This opposite sex bestie stuffs doesn't work, at least not here in Africa.

DanielsParker:
I didn't believe I'll find a comment as good as this on page 2 . I'm still at work otherwise I'd have loved to share a friend's experience also. This opposite sex bestie stuffs doesn't work, at least not here in Africa.

It's a fat lie. Had a female bestie for four years. I even hand picked all the boy friends till the one that led to her marriage. Abeg iiiii

ChizzyMaris:
What do you do when the person you're in a romantic relationship with has a best friend of the opposite sex, and has refused to let go of him/her despite the fact that you've registered your displeasure for the friendship countless times?
Especially when what brought them together in the first place is that one of them had a romantic interest in the other, but was friend zoned instead?

Let's talk.

The earlier you hook up that his bestie the better for you.