₦airaland Forum

Aquariann:
Let her go and marry the spirit then.



Those LTR didn't work out for a reason. Probably she turned them down when they were ready but she wasn't. Or felt someone better would come along you know, based on the hypergamous nature of women.



This is crap. So many people out there regret the sham called marriage today. Besides, if she can't be happy and find fulfilment outside marriage, she'll never find it within marriage. And at her age, she'll only be filled with regret s of the many suitors she turned down in the past because she had to settle with someone 3 years younger than her. Remember hypergamy I mentioned earlier? NO woman desires to marry down.


He's only seeing what she wants him to see i.e a born again Christian. Secondary virgin. I wonder at which point she decided to find her morals again.



You're saying crap again. Yes age matters when it comes to marriage. Any woman who desires to marry should do so in her most fertile years. And yes, the Op would do well to marry a nubile who would not only be able to pair bond with him while also looking up to him for direction, but would appreciate the little romantic gestures he makes every now and then. A 39 years old woman carries a whole lot of baggage with her having seen it all.

If she wants a good man, let her go back to her 20s and find all the men she turned down.

Guy

Have you asked you mum why she said that?

Ask her politely and submisively, I'm sure you will hear why and through there, she may change her mind.

Don't take a decision to marry without your parents especially your mum happy about it. It's dangerous not to secure the happiness of you mother in your marriage.

Even if you are a pastor, pls don't.

She's your mum, get her a gift and ask why she said that. Talk soft with her n she will change her mind.

Most time what they saw nd perceived we don't see it. You may not know if its for your own future good.

I m not supporting her but I am saying she's your mum, ask for her reasons politely, from there you will know what to do. Cheers

The mother has discovered something you did not see. Look before you leap bro!

valentineuwakwe:
Hello Nairalanders,

Nice again to be hear. Please I need advice from anyone that can give me on this issue bordering me..

I'mm a hard working self employed man of 36years and my fiancee is 39years.. We both are graduates and M.sc holders from uniport. ..

We have known selves since 2014 and told my parents in 2016 that its her I want to get married to.. They all accepted her upon meeting her and sat, January 6, 2018 was fixed for introduction... I was so happy and was in high spirit... Then come on Saturday morning, my mum called a meeting, with dad, grand mum, two of dad sisters, 2 kindred men, my immediate younger sister and brother...

My marriage issue was raised as topic and mum insisted on the age of my fiancee and said she must get pregnant first before us or myself would go for any introduction....

She was supported by 2/3 of the people present at an early morning meeting called by 4am on the same Saturday i had told my fiancee my people were coming.....

The meeting went and ended in a disaster and mum called my fiancee to cancel the introduction insisting she first get pregnant...

Please, what do you guys think I should do as my fiancee is a born again Christian with RCCG....

The issue of first takingbinnholds no place in their church doctrine...its after the wedding ...am a catholic....am in love with my woman and am not backing down....am confused and don't know what to do now...someone should please advice me....please

Please move this thread to front page as I need advice, please

I'm sorry to say this but your mum isn't behaving like a responsible person, with that kind of stand. This is one of the reasons why I always blame irresponsible behaviors of young men and women, on the part of the parents. Let me tell you a short story:

2 years ago,my sister was engaged to someone and after having the introduction and looking forward to the wedding, the dude called off the wedding with a few flisy excuses amongst which was the issue of my sister not allowing him to have sex with her... My sister cried in my arms and I consoled her and told her God would bring someone better. Truly,God did exactly that. The first day I met the guy,I loved him immediately as a younger brother, went in and told my sister " I like that guy". Today,they are married and living as a couple. They had a fantastic wedding in Oct last year.

Why am I telling you this? If your girl is a good girl and you allow one irresponsible advice make you do away with her,be sure that there is someone out there waiting to make a wife out of her. Some of us are still single because we haven't even found someone worthy of being a fiance/fiancee. Finding true love, is one of the hardest tasks for men and women today. Don't throw away what is valuable to you,stupidly. At 36,you are no longer a kid.

valentineuwakwe:
Hello Nairalanders,

Nice again to be hear. Please I need advice from anyone that can give me on this issue bordering me..

I'mm a hard working self employed man of 36years and my fiancee is 39years.. We both are graduates and M.sc holders from uniport. ..

We have known selves since 2014 and told my parents in 2016 that its her I want to get married to.. They all accepted her upon meeting her and sat, January 6, 2018 was fixed for introduction... I was so happy and was in high spirit... Then come on Saturday morning, my mum called a meeting, with dad, grand mum, two of dad sisters, 2 kindred men, my immediate younger sister and brother...

My marriage issue was raised as topic and mum insisted on the age of my fiancee and said she must get pregnant first before us or myself would go for any introduction....

She was supported by 2/3 of the people present at an early morning meeting called by 4am on the same Saturday i had told my fiancee my people were coming.....

The meeting went and ended in a disaster and mum called my fiancee to cancel the introduction insisting she first get pregnant...

Please, what do you guys think I should do as my fiancee is a born again Christian with RCCG....

The issue of first takingbinnholds no place in their church doctrine...its after the wedding ...am a catholic....am in love with my woman and am not backing down....am confused and don't know what to do now...someone should please advice me....please

Please move this thread to front page as I need advice, please

What your mum wants you to do is ungodly and unscriptural. This is simply a worldly advise.

Your mums fear is that your lady is a bit old and might problems in getting pregnant. Her most fertile years are past her.

The Apostles said, "We must obey God rather than men'

Don't do the detestable thing your mum wants.

I wish you happy married life in advance.

valentineuwakwe:
Hello Nairalanders,

Nice again to be hear. Please I need advice from anyone that can give me on this issue bordering me..

I'mm a hard working self employed man of 36years and my fiancee is 39years.. We both are graduates and M.sc holders from uniport. ..

We have known selves since 2014 and told my parents in 2016 that its her I want to get married to.. They all accepted her upon meeting her and sat, January 6, 2018 was fixed for introduction... I was so happy and was in high spirit... Then come on Saturday morning, my mum called a meeting, with dad, grand mum, two of dad sisters, 2 kindred men, my immediate younger sister and brother...

My marriage issue was raised as topic and mum insisted on the age of my fiancee and said she must get pregnant first before us or myself would go for any introduction....

She was supported by 2/3 of the people present at an early morning meeting called by 4am on the same Saturday i had told my fiancee my people were coming.....

The meeting went and ended in a disaster and mum called my fiancee to cancel the introduction insisting she first get pregnant...

Please, what do you guys think I should do as my fiancee is a born again Christian with RCCG....

The issue of first takingbinnholds no place in their church doctrine...its after the wedding ...am a catholic....am in love with my woman and am not backing down....am confused and don't know what to do now...someone should please advice me....please

Please move this thread to front page as I need advice, please

have you two ever had sex in the run up to this time?

anataala:
tell your mum that is fortification, is that the way the married her, why are some women heartless, if is her own dauther will she be happy or agree with that, how will she want make some one dauther sampling object

yes it's a fortification nd he doesn't know.. .

Your Mama sabi smell menopause from a mile o

You still lack emancipation

Life is spiritual and should not be viewed in scientific form.

Obeying our parents is even part of the ten commandment.

Fathers dont interfere much but fear mothers ooo.

Broda beware, Your mom is playing church politics with your Marital life. Lolzzz lolz. Am sure she is saying that because the girl is pentecostal well the whole ball is in your court. But the lady can't go against the law of her church, so if your people said she should get pregnant for you and you also want that, it means you aren't meant for her. Don't persuade her, look for someone else that will agree to your mums request, since you think she's right.

I pity you what if she can't bear a child anymore look at it she's 39 they might have their reason for saying that.... you're just saying she's born again did you really know her past did you know how many she's has abort...found out very well b4 you conclude...my opinion

valentineuwakwe:
Hello Nairalanders,

Nice again to be hear. Please I need advice from anyone that can give me on this issue bordering me..

I'mm a hard working self employed man of 36years and my fiancee is 39years.. We both are graduates and M.sc holders from uniport. ..

We have known selves since 2014 and told my parents in 2016 that its her I want to get married to.. They all accepted her upon meeting her and sat, January 6, 2018 was fixed for introduction... I was so happy and was in high spirit... Then come on Saturday morning, my mum called a meeting, with dad, grand mum, two of dad sisters, 2 kindred men, my immediate younger sister and brother...

My marriage issue was raised as topic and mum insisted on the age of my fiancee and said she must get pregnant first before us or myself would go for any introduction....

She was supported by 2/3 of the people present at an early morning meeting called by 4am on the same Saturday i had told my fiancee my people were coming.....

The meeting went and ended in a disaster and mum called my fiancee to cancel the introduction insisting she first get pregnant...

Please, what do you guys think I should do as my fiancee is a born again Christian with RCCG....

The issue of first takingbinnholds no place in their church doctrine...its after the wedding ...am a catholic....am in love with my woman and am not backing down....am confused and don't know what to do now...someone should please advice me....please

Please move this thread to front page as I need advice, please

Your mom don't want to hear "Let's wait unto the Lord for the fruit of the womb".
Correct woman!

valentineuwakwe:
Hello Nairalanders,

Nice again to be hear. Please I need advice from anyone that can give me on this issue bordering me..

I'mm a hard working self employed man of 36years and my fiancee is 39years.. We both are graduates and M.sc holders from uniport. ..

We have known selves since 2014 and told my parents in 2016 that its her I want to get married to.. They all accepted her upon meeting her and sat, January 6, 2018 was fixed for introduction... I was so happy and was in high spirit... Then come on Saturday morning, my mum called a meeting, with dad, grand mum, two of dad sisters, 2 kindred men, my immediate younger sister and brother...

My marriage issue was raised as topic and mum insisted on the age of my fiancee and said she must get pregnant first before us or myself would go for any introduction....

She was supported by 2/3 of the people present at an early morning meeting called by 4am on the same Saturday i had told my fiancee my people were coming.....

The meeting went and ended in a disaster and mum called my fiancee to cancel the introduction insisting she first get pregnant...

Please, what do you guys think I should do as my fiancee is a born again Christian with RCCG....

The issue of first takingbinnholds no place in their church doctrine...its after the wedding ...am a catholic....am in love with my woman and am not backing down....am confused and don't know what to do now...someone should please advice me....please

Please move this thread to front page as I need advice, please

As they said action speaks louder than words my advice for u is this just get that lady pregnant and don't be surprise she might even like it never can tell. Bro act fast, and make a hay while the sunshine. Time does not wait for anybody.

Endtime mothers...smh�

imasong005:
I have this little story to tell you. I visited my friend many years ago, and saw a beautiful young lady in her elder brother's house, when we came out, I asked her if the lady is her brother's wife, she said no, that she is her eldest sister. She began the story that brought about the sister coming to stay with her brother. She said her sister was in a relationship with a guy, when the guy took her to the mum, the mum insisted that she must get pregnant before they will get married, mind you, my friend's sister was a virgin. The guy finally was able to convince her, against other people's advice. The guy told her that as soon as she gets pregnant, the wedding will be conducted before people gets to know of it. Gbam, she took in, and she was expecting marriage plans to kick off immediately, again the boy's mother said she should just wait to give birth, that she doesn't want the girl to lose the pregnancy as a result of stress that will come during the wedding. The girl felt so bad, cos she has been deceived and she was was been gossiped all over the place. When labor pain started, she was rushed to the hospital and gbam, there was complications, and they have one option, remove the woman's womb or she dies. Off course you and I know what decision they will go with. The moment her womb was removed, her baby died, right there in the hospital. I didn't need to tell you how the story ended. The family of the boy outrightly opposed the guy from marrying the girl because she doesn't have a womb again. The story went everywhere. Six months later, the girl went visiting a friend, and saw the guy's wedding card. When she got home that day, she attempted suicide, that was how they brought her to the elder brother's house, so that she can be far away from the guy and his family. As I type this today, the lady is almost 45 but still very single. While the guy's first son is already in SS3. Sorry for the long post .Please girls be careful, don't let nobody put you under any kind of pressure because of marriage.

karma is bitch and it will serve the mother and son even the children will benefit from it

MrsMurphy:
it's been long I logged into Nairaland but your post made me do so.
Back to the topic, my friend got married in 2008 and her husband insisted that she must become pregnant before the wedding. He said and I quote 'I can't buy a car that I haven't tested". Luckily my friend became pregnant and she was even showing before they had their wedding but two months after the wedding she lost the pregnancy and they started TTC.
she later gave birth but that was after 4 good years of trying to conceive.
That taught me a very good lesson. so my advice is this, if you know that both of you are medically fit to conceive then you should go ahead with the wedding and your people should stop playing God.

Please explain how your story links with your advice.

Your mum? Guy dis is 2018 not 1986! Tell your mum i said so!

As regards to how paramount the SUBJECT is .. I don't expect you to come to nairaland for suggestion.... Why not go to your Church/marriage counsellor for proper counseling and more convincing advice even for your mother.....(I understand how mother feel a times)

Nevertheless, THE BED MUST REMAIN UNDEFILED before holy marrige is what d Bible says....try to calmly and humbly convince.ur relatives about God's wish for ur marriage.

""what shall separate me from the love of Christ??..... Mother or relatives'wish ? ....Be wise

U said she s, 39,am not wishing you bad luck,but some women find it difficult to ve dere first child at dat age.Your mum might ve her reasons,so You better act fast forget being born again in this situation oh and on d other way round,if it doesn't work out and two of you separate who will Like to settle down With her bcus of age unless God help her, you as a man still has a better chance and time to find a new partner...So bro I bet u should go with ur mom's advice But u can still follow ur heart if you wish You are not kid anymore...

Ur mum loves u and is trying to protect ur legacy/lineage. Ur probably the 1st son so she doesnt want to take high risks. Make sure ur fiancee is truthful to u with her medical info and all dat stuff and let ur mum be updated so her mind can be at ease. Get ur doctors involved to talk 2 her cos at that age sm women are hitting menopause while others are as fertile as an 18 year old virgin..
Valentineuwakwe

JONNYSPUTE:
Oga forget all this talk u re hearing here,Ur mum knows what she is saying,although she is not God. Don't tell me u ve not slept with a woman before,cause I know u re not a virgin. What your mum is saying is right,proof her wrong if you re a man. Most of u guys that claim born again are too hypocritical, u ve bn fucking her her and now your mum wants result,u just remembered ur church. Ur mum doesn't evenbtrust u. So prove her right by impregnating her.

Bros I luv u for this piece of advice just tell him, he has been fuvcking her and now his mum need an answer and he come they form '' HOLY NWEJE''. Am even suspecting the guy sef?

SURElee:
First of all how did your mum get to know about her age? Some things that shouldn't be fed to family get to their ears when people talk too much. Okay now they want her to get pregnant first,okwaya? Later they will touch light her and mandate her to birth male children like she is the maker of pregnancy and a specific gender.

i disagree with your first point madam .........
age is something that should be asked or told to your parents about patner

[color=#770077][/color] When issues beyond my capacity r brought to d table, I keep quiet nd listen to wisdom frm d elders....all d suggestions, advises here r good at d same tym complicating.which r u taking nd which r u ignoring. D ones dat supports ur mom's opinion or d ones dat told u her opinions didn't count since u r nt going to live wit her but ur wife. I believe she has her reasons.Sometimes we do make d mistake of finking dat forming a new family z easy nd xo dnt need our father or mother to interven 'but later on we found it it's not dat easy as we tink.I believe both of u must v been engaging in premarital sex with protection b4 now?, y not keep d protective measure aside since both of u r sure of ur compatibilities. V a hrt to hrt chat wit ur wife to be nd mom separately in which both parties agree to compromise...........Communication z powerful nd vital in any relationship or family matters.# Forgive my grammatical blunder#

Does your mum know that men can have fertility problems too?

God forbid, but what if you co.pulate till thine kingdom come and no sign of pregnancy and the problem is medically traced to you? Ask your mum what the lady should do in such
scenario.

grandstar:
What your mum wants you to do is ungodly and unscriptural. This is simply a worldly advise.

Your mums fear is that your lady is a bit old and might problems in getting pregnant. Her most fertile years are past her.

The Apostles said, "We must obey God rather than men'

Don't do the detestable thing your mum wants.

I wish you happy married life in advance.

Oga mi!! I see you

SURElee:
First of all how did your mum get to know about her age? Some things that shouldn't be fed to family get to their ears when people talk too much. Okay now they want her to get pregnant first,okwaya? Later they will touch light her and mandate her to birth male children like she is the maker of pregnancy and a specific gender.

You think your mother will see your lover/fiancee and know by sight he or she is not young, and she would not ask you what the person's age is?

This is really tough, it's not gonna be easy going against your family cos they might end up washing their hands off. Your fiancee isn't in an advantagous position either as regards what they are demanding based on her age but the ball lies in your court, you're about taking a major risk, choose wisely cos it's either your people or her. Wish you all the best!

valentineuwakwe:
Hello Nairalanders,

Nice again to be hear. Please I need advice from anyone that can give me on this issue bordering me..

I'mm a hard working self employed man of 36years and my fiancee is 39years.. We both are graduates and M.sc holders from uniport. ..

We have known selves since 2014 and told my parents in 2016 that its her I want to get married to.. They all accepted her upon meeting her and sat, January 6, 2018 was fixed for introduction... I was so happy and was in high spirit... Then come on Saturday morning, my mum called a meeting, with dad, grand mum, two of dad sisters, 2 kindred men, my immediate younger sister and brother...

My marriage issue was raised as topic and mum insisted on the age of my fiancee and said she must get pregnant first before us or myself would go for any introduction....

She was supported by 2/3 of the people present at an early morning meeting called by 4am on the same Saturday i had told my fiancee my people were coming.....

The meeting went and ended in a disaster and mum called my fiancee to cancel the introduction insisting she first get pregnant...

Please, what do you guys think I should do as my fiancee is a born again Christian with RCCG....

The issue of first takingbinnholds no place in their church doctrine...its after the wedding ...am a catholic....am in love with my woman and am not backing down....am confused and don't know what to do now...someone should please advice me....please

Please move this thread to front page as I need advice, please

39! That's a red flag bro. And I hope that you don't find out after the marriage that she's not a virgin she claimed to be, and some other serious deceptions.
Listen to your mother.

LadySarah:
hmm,confused indeed.If you.are confused now,what then will happen with other complicated issues in marriage.


Are you marrying for fulfilling life's purpose together or to preocreate?I hope you understan that your parents shouldn dictate what goes on in your marriage?I hope you also know that she could get pregnant,could later lose it an never take in again ;but then she has passed your mother's fertility test.

I have seen ladies marry at 18 and ttc for life and i have also seen others marry at 40 and have 6 kids at 46(twins thrice).

You guys should behave wello,this is soemeone's daughter

Eme unu ka unu choro ime nwa agbogho ahu,okwa o ga adi unu nma?

After you don talk well, you come use gibberish round up

mosefin19:
I pity you what if she can't bear a child anymore look at it she's 39 they might have their reason for saying that.... you're just saying she's born again did you really know her past did you know how many she's has abort...found out very well b4 you conclude...my opinion

Thank you.

Aquariann:
What an elder sees sitting...... Op let no one blackmail you or say shít about your mom because she's right.

Women are generally more fertile in their twenties and have more healthy children at that ages.

As a hard working young man, who intends to get married and possibly have children, you shouldn't even be seen with a 39 years old woman who misused her most fertile years chasing God knows what. Riding the carousel probably and finally hitting the wall, she looking for a soft landing.

Op, go and look for a young lady (18-25) that you can pair bond with and can pair bond with your future children. This has nothing to do with your religion but common sense.

Kai! Take this 100 naira and go and buy sense. So who told you that an 18 to 25 year old cannot be barren? You think age is the sole determinant of fertility? Or you think such girls cannot become unfaithful after marriage? Don't forget the guy is 36 years old, o! Some 18 to 25 year olds, will see such a man as old, and not even a part of their generation.

All these digital babes, internet addicts and slay mamas between the ages of 18 to 25 year old, can do and undo. At that age, many may still be looking for excitement and not responsibility. Do you even know how many abortions they might have committed in school? Abeg, fear them!!