₦airaland Forum

Jupxter:
No bro.. We are Christians naa...Make as many female friends as possible, and grow your friendships, somewhere something would pop out


Toks, my eyes has been on you for say 6 months now, these issues are psychological o, they are boundaries you've created within your mind limiting you ....you should speak to someone o. I mean guys that have walked this path or are currently walking this path. You need to break the psychological defenses you set up in your mind...Until you see no need for rules, limitations, principles, the rules you created are the bind that has kept you remanded in singlehood, it's time to unshackle bro, let go off the principles you've been working with for a very long time.... You don't need them,, step out and walk over the water bro

Yinmu

Guy cool down and leave story..if to sey nah Naija I dey e go be different matta but or where I dey nah woman dey use man and if you are not careful you will die of over bleeping.

So you think I have issues with getting a lady..nah..the problem is that I don't want to waste my life bleeping randomly cos here bleeping is dating.

Toks2008:
Yinmu

Guy cool down and leave story..if to sey nah Naija I dey e go be different matta but or where I dey nah woman dey use man and if you are not careful you will die of over bleeping.

So you think I have issues with getting a lady..nah..the problem is that I don't want to waste my life bleeping randomly cos here bleeping is dating.

Your usual excuse " If "


Do you imply saying no Nigerian guys of your age in UK dey marry Naija chicks wey dey responsible?





Consistency without being weary in good doing is the answer.


If marriage is important to you, cool, come back home 6 months, find a good woman,marry her and take her back with you. It's time to leave the excuses behind brov

Jupxter:
Your usual excuse " If "


Do you imply saying no Nigerian guys of your age in UK dey marry Naija chicks wey dey responsible?

Just leave matta...come and see for yourself...you think its Naija where a 30 year old lady will be praying for a husband...

Here they are better off single or living as a single mother. JUst leave matta abeg.

Before you see one single lady of marriageable age without a child you would have seen 20 single mothers and these single mums are not even bothered about getting a man cos they are better off without a man.

Jupxter:
If marriage is important to you, cool, come back home 6 months, find a good woman,marry her and take her back with you. It's time to leave the excuses behind brov

lwkmd! You just confirmed that nah theory full your head...lol! Not that easy..

Have you wondered why most guys come back home to marry?

Toks2008:
Just leave matta...come and see for yourself...you think its Naija where a 30 year old lady will be praying for a husband...

Here they are better off single or living as a single mother. JUst leave matta abeg.

Before you see one single lady of marriageable age without a child you would have seen 20 single mothers and these single mums are not even bothered about getting a man cos they are better off without a man.

Toks Toks, I have about 10 guys in UK. I know everything you wanna tell me. You're like someone a preacher is telling accept Jesus and has become too attached to the happenings around. Your environment has conditioned you Toks, there's alwys a good woman even in that same UK. I swear it.


It's time for the mentor to speak to someeone, maybe not wiser, but has a different perspective so new methods can be tried. I've learnt in life even as a teacher too, to pause and let people speak to me. It works like magic, it opens our eyes to see new channels that were previously closed. Teacher, Toks, you should gain insights from other folks with the same or similar expereince and pick a thing or two for the journey and not be hard bro

Jupxter:
No bro.. We are Christians naa...Make as many female friends as possible, and grow your friendships, somewhere something would pop out


Toks, my eyes has been on you for say 6 months now, these issues are psychological o, they are boundaries you've created within your mind limiting you ....you should speak to someone o. I mean guys that have walked this path or are currently walking this path. You need to break the psychological defenses you set up in your mind...Until you see no need for rules, limitations, principles, the rules you created are the bind that has kept you remanded in singlehood, it's time to unshackle bro, let go off the principles you've been working with for a very long time.... You don't need them,, step out and walk over the water bro

I believe he has something to learn from some of us. We had our standards, but by God's enablement we were able to get it right.

Another thing I discovered is simply this; God set up this institution called marriage and if you genuinely go with God, you will be shocked. In my own case, the thing really still looks very very strange to me.

The mistake many people make is that they go into marriage without God, but rather there own making and most times it is seriously a dead end and management. But if anyone want to have peace, unspeakable joy in marriage, then ensure you go with God

Jupxter:
Let's take it step by step :


1. The same question God asked Adam, who told you that you're unlucky?


2. Besides the girls listed here, have you tried more ladies?


3. How wide is your reach to meet ladies? Have you expanded or optimized your reach? Social media, church, even in business?


4. What if it's a function of time, and it's now you're season. Did Peter not try to gather fishes over and over until he met Jesus?

I think I'm unlucky. Dated quite a few and for one reason or the other, things don't work. I don't think I've had a full successful relationship that lasted more than a year or up to.

Well, I had other options. Had a friend I actually really liked before all these ones but she kept saying she sees me more as a brother, which I didn't find funny. We did a biz and it didn't go well. Since then, there's been a gap in communication and I just automatically buried the idea of a relationship with her. But she's a nice person. There were some I felt liked me, but I didn't allow the likeness blossom cos I didn't find them attractive a bit...

I'm not sure how wide my search is but I think it's limited. There's someone I found attractive and was warming up to but the moment she told me she was seeing a married man,it killed my mojo. I automatically started imagining what would happen if we are married and have issues. Would she start seeing someone else? I have a big problem with infidelity and I cannot stand it.

As for 4, I'm not losing sleep over it though. I'm just doing me.

djon78:
I believe he has something to learn from some of us. We had our standards, but by God's enablement we were able to get it right.

Another thing I discovered is simply this; God set up this institution called marriage and if you genuinely go with God, you will be shocked. In my own case, the thing really still looks very very strange to me.

The mistake many people make is that they go into marriage without God, but rather there own making and most times it is seriously a dead end and management. But if anyone want to have peace, unspeakable joy in marriage, then ensure you go with God

I will never marry any lady without praying to God. Even Bill Gate's daughter, listeing to him or rather reading his comments i can see psychological boundaries created in the mind. It works early in life but down the life, it holds the do-er captive, i've scome to learn to live life without rules

Jupxter:
Toks Toks, I have about 10 guys in UK. I know everything you wanna tell me. You're like someone a preacher is telling accept Jesus and has become too attached to the happenings around. Your environment has conditioned you Toks, there's alwys a good woman even in that same UK. I swear it.

Make dem dey fool you sey they are married...we know as e dey go...

I'm not interested in paper marriage bro. I must desire my woman and truly want to be with her.

So you think if it is just about getting married I will still be single...think again.

ibkayee:
Lol they may not be enemies anymore but 'fall in love' is a stretch

Depends on some factors too, it's possible, but it's not as simple as just 'two people of the opposite sex'

you see how my 'love' for you is growing stronger by the day?

still gonna steal you from your boo!

chronique:
I think I'm unlucky. Dated quite a few and for one reason or the other, things don't work. I don't think I've had a full successful relationship that lasted more than a year or up to.

Well, I had other options. Had a friend I actually really liked before all these ones but she kept saying she sees me more as a brother, which I didn't find funny. We did a biz and it didn't go well. Since then, there's been a gap in communication and I just automatically buried the idea of a relationship with her. But she's a nice person. There were some I felt liked me, but I didn't allow the likeness blossom cos I didn't find them attractive a bit...

I'm not sure how wide my search is but I think it's limited. There's someone I found attractive and was warming up to but the moment she told me she was seeing a married man,it killed my mojo. I automatically started imagining what would happen if we are married and have issues. Would she start seeing someone else? I have a big problem with infidelity and I cannot stand it.

As for 4, I'm not losing sleep over it though. I'm just doing me.

I caught the thief...Its the words you started with " I think "


Another case of psychological boundaries, remove the thoughts you think are hindering you, like rules, principles, change things, spin things, try new methods, visit a friend's church, attend association meetings, take a photo studio shot, upload your pictre on social media, comment intelligently and attract ladies then choose from the wide flock your profile draws, simple

Toks2008:
Make dem dey fool you sey they are married...we know as e dey go...

I'm not interested in paper marriage bro. I must desire my woman and truly want to be with her.

So you think if it is just about getting married I will still be single...think again.

My guys were in this same shoes you're in some years back, as singles. Na like this we plan their marriage. You're proud of the limitations and excuses cutting you short from your desire.

Jupxter:
I will never marry any lady without praying to God. Even Bill Gate's daughter, listeing to him or rather reading his comments i can see psychological boundaries created in the mind. It works early in life but down the life, it holds the do-er captive, i've scome to learn to live life without rules

Another hypocrisy...

If you see a midget will you even consider her a potential wife? So if you can't pray when you see a midget so why pray when you see a lady you desire?

Toks2008:
Another hypocrisy...

If you see a midget will you even consider her a potential wife? So if you can't pray when you see a midget so why pray when you see a lady you desire?

Is your desire above God's ability? Or have you seen the faces behind all female monikers on this forum? You're trying too hard to remain in the strong grip of your limitations..

Anyways, i leave you with this



Let me lie to you. If you xlaim to be God's son, then He has the responsibility of sending His own flock to you to pick from, channel your desire to Him, i know say you big, but try to kneel in private, cry if you have to tell him what you want, and watch Him begin to align your steps to the destination. Been there, done that, i'm 100% sure of what i'm saying...God loves to see an intelligent/proud/big man cry ( in private o ), He loves it alot, try it !

Toks2008:
Another hypocrisy...

If you see a midget will you even consider her a potential wife? So if you can't pray when you see a midget so why pray when you see a lady you desire?

Desire or not, there's someone that meets your specs, and you need to take steps to meet not just her, but as many that have the same spec, and not to complain in the same position, month after month, time is of the essence my brother, you're spectating about the waves of the sea, develop a blueprint, and aim for it, work towards your objective and strike the target.


My God is busy and i dont bother Him with frivolities, i dont go to Him to pray about every lady i meet, in fact i've only gone to Him about a lady just once. But before i did, i built emotional intimacy, and checked she fit my desires and all, it doesnt work that way, we meet a lady toay we go to God the next second, the foundation has to be built. i simply meant i wont marry any lady regardless of my love for her without praying to God...Shikena

Jupxter:
I caught the thief...Its the words you started with " I think "


Another case of psychological boundaries, remove the thoughts you think are hindering you, like rules, principles, change things, spin things, try new methods, visit a friend's church, attend association meetings, take a photo studio shot, upload your pictre on social media, comment intelligently and attract ladies then choose from the wide flock your profile draws, simple

I've been having the photo shoot idea for so long but God knows when I will eventually have the will to make the move. As per pics on sm, I post selfies from time to time,I get comments on them but not every pretty girl that likes my photos, is attractive to me. But if I really have my way, I wouldn't do sm hook up. It comes with a whole lot of uncertainties.

I think we will really work on this topic, because I noticed that many decent guys are going through these stuffs. But one thing I know is that they will finally get settled. Most times God is waiting on them to really make up their mind.

Then also an article I read today buttressed some facts. Let me share it;

To have a working relationship there must be an element of sacrificial love. It must cost you something. If you are a selfish and self-centered person, you will be far away from genuine happiness.

You must forbear a lot of stuffs. No one is perfect, every one has their own issues. So learning to accept someone, overlook some stufs and be determined to work things out.

But if you are waiting for that perfect one, you will wait till eternity. You take whom you get, and make masterpiece outvof the person. You add value into the persons life. And you will be surprised the fulfillment and happiness you will get in the end

chronique:
I've been having the photo shoot idea for so long but God knows when I will eventually have the will to make the move. As per pics on sm, I post selfies from time to time,I get comments on them but not every pretty girl that likes my photos, is attractive to me. But if I really have my way, I wouldn't do sm hook up. It comes with a whole lot of uncertainties.

Let go off your fears. Create a map and work with it, facebook,twitter, nairaland, use your photos, attract as many as you can. Now you're not hunting for ladies but you're creating a persona to attract them, and from the large catch, you can begin to choose one by one till you hit the right target, it's not simple, but it's better than no plan

djon78:
I think we will really work on this topic, because I noticed that many decent guys are going through these stuffs. But one thing I know is that they will finally get settled. Most times God is waiting on them to really make up their mind.

Then also an article I read today buttressed some facts. Let me share it;

To have a working relationship there must be an element of sacrificial love. It must cost you something. If you are a selfish and self-centered person, you will be far away from genuine happiness.

You must forbear a lot of stuffs. No one is perfect, every one has their own issues. So learning to accept someone, overlook some stufs and be determined to work things out.

But if you are waiting for that perfect one, you will wait till eternity. You take whom you get, and make masterpiece outvof the person. You add value into the persons life. And you will be surprised the fulfillment and happiness you will get in the end

This is it here :


Most times God is waiting on them to really make up their mind.


God is working on the mind of the guys. And consistency must be upheld especially when guys feel like dropping the towel...


True @ You must forbear a lot of stuffs. No one is perfect, every one has their own issues. So learning to accept someone, overlook some stufs and be determined to work things out.


There's no right one, the right one is the good one we cultivate a healthy relationship with. There's no right one, it frustrates and push people to walk on a wandering path, e go come, e go come, and they keep procastinating over and over and over, where as healthy relationships can be built, and developed from the good relations we share with the opposite sexes...

One more point, hold alot of tolerance and forgiveness in your heart for the journey

Jupxter:
Let go off your fears. Create a map and work with it, facebook,twitter, nairaland, use your photos, attract as many as you can. Now you're not hunting for ladies but you're creating a persona to attract them, and from the large catch, you can begin to choose one by one till you hit the right target, it's not simple, but it's better than no plan

Abeg,remove Nairaland from the matter. I'm not active on twitter. Facebook might just be the only alternative outside real life meet up... Thanks though.

Jupxter:
Is your desire above God's ability? Or have you seen the faces behind all female monikers on this forum? You're trying too hard to remain in the strong grip of your limitations..

Anyways, i leave you with this



Let me lie to you. If you xlaim to be God's son, then He has the responsibility of sending His own flock to you to pick from, channel your desire to Him, i know say you big, but try to kneel in private, cry if you have to tell him what you want, and watch Him begin to align your steps to the destination. Been there, done that, i'm 100% sure of what i'm saying...God loves to see an intelligent/proud/big man cry ( in private o ), He loves it alot, try it !

What if I'm not interested in marriage... ?
Don't you think marriage is over hyped?

Abeg let's discuss something else.

chronique:
Abeg,remove Nairaland from the matter. I'm not active on twitter. Facebook might just be the only alternative outside real life meet up... Thanks though.

Ifyou're Sapiosexual Nairaland is great, i found a very good chick worth marrying on Nairaland last year

Toks2008:
What if I'm not interested in marriage... ?
Don't you think marriage is over hyped?

Abeg let's discuss something else.

I can see pure love in your soul. I know you're a good person. I see through your write ups. It's a pity aldies have lost the skill for identifying good men, or don't have it. Ladies shoudl be chasing you, perhaps the case of lack of spiritual discernment, as in the case why ladies don't know good men when they meet them

Toks2008:
What if I'm not interested in marriage... ?
Don't you think marriage is over hyped?

Abeg let's discuss something else.

Marriage is not over-hyped, your achieve,ent for the second chapter of your life is connected with marriage, hence you must get it right

Jupxter:
This is it here :


Most times God is waiting on them to really make up their mind.


God is working on the mind of the guys. And consistency must be upheld especially when guys feel like dropping the towel...


True @ You must forbear a lot of stuffs. No one is perfect, every one has their own issues. So learning to accept someone, overlook some stufs and be determined to work things out.


There's no right one, the right one is the good one we cultivate a healthy relationship with. There's no right one, it frustrates and push people to walk on a wandering path, e go come, e go come, and they keep procastinating over and over and over, where as healthy relationships can be built, and developed from the good relations we share with the opposite sexes...

That is what most of them don't understand. They should take a very good look at themselves. Are they perfect? Not at all. So how then will they be looking for the right one or perfect one when they themselves are not. And that is human nature for you.

Waiting for that perfect person you will wait till eternity. Make up your mind, prayerfully and wisely select, stick with her, add great value into her life, make her a better person. She will appreciate it and place a great value on your person. And honestly you will get the best from her. When you truly and genuinely make a woman happy, they are very wonderful creatures, she will give you heaven on earth. And they know when someone is genuine to them, they always know. And they will give you the best of them. Am talking from experience

djon78:
That is what most of them don't understand. They should take a very good look at themselves. Are they perfect? Not at all. So how then will they be looking for the right one or perfect one when they themselves are not. And that is human nature for you.

Waiting for that perfect person you will wait till eternity. Make up your mind, prayerfully and wisely select, stick with her, add great value into her life, make her a better person. She will appreciate it and place a great value on your person. And honestly you will get the best from her. When you truly and genuinely make a woman happy, they are very wonderful creatures, she will give you heaven on earth. And they know when someone is genuine to them, they always know. And they will give you the best of them. Am talking from experience

I second this comment :


Make up your mind, prayerfully and wisely select, stick with her, add great value into her life, make her a better person. She will appreciate it and place a great value on your person. And honestly you will get the best from her. When you truly and genuinely make a woman happy, they are very wonderful creatures, she will give you heaven on earth. And they know when someone is genuine to them, they always know. And they will give you the best of them.



Waiting for the right person many people say, but they stop to ask, wait a minute, what is the right person? How will i recognise him/her when i see the person? There's no such thing as right person, we need to just make our minds, be resolute in our stance, and set a course towards the objective. Build the person, add value to the person, overlook the flaws, be consistent, be upright, and watch the relationship blossom, i believe women are wonderful creatures if well taken care of, they only turn to lion when they perceive things are not going in line with what they had in mind or are receving poor treatment

Jupxter:
Ifyou're Sapiosexual Nairaland is great, i found a very good chick worth marrying on Nairaland last year

The smallie I like, was found on Nairaland after a not too fortunate incident but then,I'd rather not do Nairaland hook up. As per being sapiosexual,well I guess it landed me where I didn't like on Nairaland... It's in the past though but the memory isn't funny. Wish it never happened.

Jupxter:
I second this comment :


Make up your mind, prayerfully and wisely select, stick with her, add great value into her life, make her a better person. She will appreciate it and place a great value on your person. And honestly you will get the best from her. When you truly and genuinely make a woman happy, they are very wonderful creatures, she will give you heaven on earth. And they know when someone is genuine to them, they always know. And they will give you the best of them.



Waiting for the right person many people say, but they stop to ask, wait a minute, what is the right person? How will i recognise him/her when i see the person? There's no such thing as right person, we need to just make our minds, be resolute in our stance, and set a course towards the objective. Build the person, add value to the person, overlook the flaws, be consistent, be upright, and watch the relationship blossom, i believe women are wonderful creatures if well taken care of, they only turn to lion when they perceive things are not going in line with what they had in mind or are receving poor treatment

You know women are wonderful creatures, very special indeed. A woman will go the extra mile to make you happy. But most times we guys are the problem here.

Women are totally different from us. Most men treat women like they are your fellow man. Most times women behave like children, ifact sometimes they can really be strange. But you must understand your role as a man. The woman in your life and the kids that come are all meant to be your responsibility as a man. When a man understands that, he has solved a lot of his own problems. That is the responsibility that nature has given to us as a man, our calling as man.

My dad fell in love with my mom the first time he saw her and she did likewise.na wetin dem tell me.so dat was an attraction b/w them before they tied the knot. I certainly can't be with a lady i am not attracted to cos i am with one i will certainly cheat on her.if her character is completely off and she come wowor join join ..omo i don waka be dat. U can only grow in love when certain character of hers attracts u.

greiboy:
Put two sworn enemies in a room

Who gave you that idea

They are probably going to lynch or poison each other

I don't believe in the psychology shii

gbam! Imagine a very dirty girl dat always fond of scratching her yansh and she's noisy and troublesome.dem come put such a girl with u in the same apartment ...how will u be able to fall in love with such a character...imposicant.

Toks2008:
You can't understand and I can't spell it out here.

If I'm in Naija it would have been easier.

I'm a faithful guy to the core and the idea of cheating on my wife is appalling which makes it compulsory for me to get my taste...expecially the type that has the exterior dimension I want cos whatever is pleasing to my eyes will inadvertently be pleasing to my soul.

i feel u. U in Europe and white girls are not that appealing to u cos of their ironing board flat booty.