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I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by undisputedgbola(m): 9:50pm On Feb 13, 2018
kmcutez:


I pity the poor girl. I wish she was a nairalander so she can be advised to leave him. This guy is stingy. Kai.

I still pay the school fees of the children of the families that wrecked me, from hero to zero. Hundreds of thousands for each child per term. Talk less of someone you have dated for five years and are planning to marry.
You have the money...
Does the person in question have 'money' to spare/lend??



All aboki with him kettle!

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Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by Letzdothething: 9:51pm On Feb 13, 2018
nuland:
OP, For your Girlfriend's mum to reach out to you for financial help for the first time I five years shows how cultured and considerate that family is.
You also attested the fact. that your. girlfriend too hasn't been making demands.

so why the fuss about this.?
most not all

I advised that he dump the family. No time to keep broke people as family.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by abike12(f): 9:52pm On Feb 13, 2018
gcof:
so she has no friends nor family members or even pastor since you have dragged Jesus into this she could desperately ask for help other than her daughter’s boyfriend, behind her daughter? That action is unreasonable

since you care so much abeg help me find the woman make I give am. very important. i'm looking for where to sow this month

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by Nobody: 9:52pm On Feb 13, 2018
undisputedgbola:

You have the money...
Does the person in question have 'money' to spare/lend??



All aboki with him kettle!

Read the post very well. He has the money. He's just being condescending.

3 Likes

Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by histemple: 9:53pm On Feb 13, 2018
What is the point of posting this story/question here after responding to the woman?

I wish you did this before responding to the needy woman.

But then, I am also wondering why your fiancee didn't ask for this favour herself if she is truly in need.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by Nobody: 9:53pm On Feb 13, 2018
It is an honour someone to ask you for help and you here telling us how you want to cut off relationship. Somebody better will marry her and render the help you refused her without judging the woman for who respected.
Happy not just with your thinking mentality.

6 Likes

Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by Bigsteveg(m): 9:53pm On Feb 13, 2018
deanxy:
My fiancee and I have been in a relationship for 5 years now. I met her since she was in secondary school. We both love each other and she is very nice, loving and supportive too.

We have talked and started planning on settling down and that should before the end of the year but I am beginning to have a second thought.

The problem is not my fiancee but her mom. The woman is very nice and welcoming but lately, she did something that I am not comfortable with. Last week she sent me a text asking for financial assistance. That her daughter (my fiancee) is yet to pay her house rent at school and that my fiancee younger brother is yet to pay his registration fee. And so she had asked me to loan her some amount before the end of the month when she will remit it. That she considered me a son and that's why she confided in me. I later sent her SMS that I don't have anything.

I was like why would she asked me for loan when her daughter never asked for one naira in our Five years of relationship? So my fear is, should I marry her daughter, wont she trouble me with further demands? Please is there anyway around this? Please what do I do?
So u turned your girlfriend mum down, bros u no try at all. I don't think the lady deserves you

3 Likes

Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by Nobody: 9:53pm On Feb 13, 2018
undisputedgbola:

You have the money...
Does the person in question have 'money' to spare/lend??



All aboki with him kettle!
If he doesn't have money, its okay. Absolutely. But having second thoughts not because he is ashamed that he does not have money and he can not take care of her but because he doesn't wants to help someone he wants to marry out.

If he can't help his fiancee once in 5 years, how will hehelp her out in life when it's "forever"?

9 Likes

Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by TrumpDonald2: 9:54pm On Feb 13, 2018
deanxy:
My fiancee and I have been in a relationship for 5 years now. I met her since she was in secondary school. We both love each other and she is very nice, loving and supportive too.

We have talked and started planning on settling down and that should before the end of the year but I am beginning to have a second thought.

The problem is not my fiancee but her mom. The woman is very nice and welcoming but lately, she did something that I am not comfortable with. Last week she sent me a text asking for financial assistance. That her daughter (my fiancee) is yet to pay her house rent at school and that my fiancee younger brother is yet to pay his registration fee. And so she had asked me to loan her some amount before the end of the month when she will remit it. That she considered me a son and that's why she confided in me. I later sent her SMS that I don't have anything.

I was like why would she asked me for loan when her daughter never asked for one naira in our Five years of relationship? So my fear is, should I marry her daughter, wont she trouble me with further demands? Please is there anyway around this? Please what do I do?
Guy, you done fall my hand. If its possible, I would have asked you to delete this thread. So you mean not to render any financial help to the family when you marry her? That's too bad bro. Loosen your hand a bit, it's too tight.

I'll advise you ask your fiancee if truly she hasn't paid her rent and if true, help her with it if you have the money.

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Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by gazilion: 9:54pm On Feb 13, 2018
deanxy:
My fiancee and I have been in a relationship for 5 years now. I met her since she was in secondary school. We both love each other and she is very nice, loving and supportive too.

We have talked and started planning on settling down and that should before the end of the year but I am beginning to have a second thought.

The problem is not my fiancee but her mom. The woman is very nice and welcoming but lately, she did something that I am not comfortable with. Last week she sent me a text asking for financial assistance. That her daughter (my fiancee) is yet to pay her house rent at school and that my fiancee younger brother is yet to pay his registration fee. And so she had asked me to loan her some amount before the end of the month when she will remit it. That she considered me a son and that's why she confided in me. I later sent her SMS that I don't have anything.

I was like why would she asked me for loan when her daughter never asked for one naira in our Five years of relationship? So my fear is, should I marry her daughter, wont she trouble me with further demands? Please is there anyway around this? Please what do I do?

You are Foolish

9 Likes

Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by clemmonce(m): 9:55pm On Feb 13, 2018
koolg:



Even if her mother has been disturbing him for such assistance before, there's joy in assisting people especially your wife's family

thank you my brother. well said

1 Like

Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by Letzdothething: 9:55pm On Feb 13, 2018
Donlittle:
ah i don't understand this guy here o. I hope the lady finds this and move on to something better. This is your fiancee that you want to marry, and you will rather she be homeless while at university than help her out with rent?

No wonder she didn't ask you by herself because she already knows your personality and the fact that you won't help her at all, must have taken a lot for her to tell her mom to ask you.

Poor girl deserves someone better, not because you do not have the money, but because you are considering leaving her after her family asks for your help to take care of someone you want to get married to.

You are a terrible human being, honestly.
poor girl?

Please tell me why no one loves a poor boy but a poor girl. How often do you see people love a poor boy so dearly but the poor girl.

Marriage these days is about alliance my dear don't fool yourself.

Poverty is a disease and every one must run away from it like usain bold.

I advise that he leaves the girl and her family alone. Life is not fair after all.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by Niyinficient(m): 9:55pm On Feb 13, 2018
deanxy:
My fiancee and I have been in a relationship for 5 years now. I met her since she was in secondary school. We both love each other and she is very nice, loving and supportive too.

We have talked and started planning on settling down and that should before the end of the year but I am beginning to have a second thought.

The problem is not my fiancee but her mom. The woman is very nice and welcoming but lately, she did something that I am not comfortable with. Last week she sent me a text asking for financial assistance. That her daughter (my fiancee) is yet to pay her house rent at school and that my fiancee younger brother is yet to pay his registration fee. And so she had asked me to loan her some amount before the end of the month when she will remit it. That she considered me a son and that's why she confided in me. I later sent her SMS that I don't have anything.

I was like why would she asked me for loan when her daughter never asked for one naira in our Five years of relationship? So my fear is, should I marry her daughter, wont she trouble me with further demands? Please is there anyway around this? Please what do I do?

i am disappointed in you sir. Not for the refusal but for 'wanting' to leave the girl cos of this. You already conceded that the woman is nice and welcoming, and she and her daughter never asked for financial assistant in the last five years...for her to ask now means they really need it, dont be an akagum, its fine if u dont have but dont ruin what u have because of stinginess. The woman really sees u as a son, be the son you are assumed to be, help if u can. What if its an outside who had come to u for help? will u stop relating with the outsider? Afterall, neighbours and friends alike do ask for financial assistance. I can imagine how embarrassed the mum is now that u turned her down. Be a man man, givers surely never lacks!

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Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by chronique(m): 9:56pm On Feb 13, 2018
gcof:
so she has no friends nor family members or even pastor since you have dragged Jesus into this she could desperately ask for help other than her daughter’s boyfriend, behind her daughter? That action is unreasonable

Amongst my friends, I don't think I have up to 5 people I can confidently call for assistance financially. Amongst my family, I have just my mum and my sisters to run to for financial assistance. There are other members of family who are even more financially buoyant but I can't ask them. My point is,not everyone can confidently open their mouth to ask people for assistance. Don't just conclude that she has friends and family to run to.

9 Likes

Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by mankand(m): 9:57pm On Feb 13, 2018
UjuJoan2:
I hate stingy men with a passion, God Forbid!

Shame no even catch you to say no? I just feel so sorry for the girl and her family.

If they were wiser they would flee now that it's still very early.

Tuaaaah!

After the years wey pekus don go oven come back tire after panel beating?
Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by Adefemiaderoju1: 9:57pm On Feb 13, 2018
She shouldn't have come to you... she should have send her daughter to you if truly she need the money but if truly you love the girl this shouldn't be a barrier to cut off the relationship.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by undisputedgbola(m): 9:57pm On Feb 13, 2018
Donlittle:
If he doesn't have money, its okay. Absolutely. But having second thoughts not because he is ashamed that he does not have money and he can not take care of her but because he doesn't wants to help someone he wants to marry out.

If he can't help his fiancee once in 5 years, how will hehelp her out in life when it's "forever"?
I dig!
Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by Letzdothething: 9:57pm On Feb 13, 2018
Bigsteveg:

So u turned your girlfriend mum down, bros u no try at all. I don't think the lady deserves you
recently my not so well to do friend lost his girl friend because the mom saw no future in the struggling guy.

Overview- he is poor.

Same way the op girl's mom would have dumped him if he had nothing. Give No room for poverty my dear.

A word is enough for the wise.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by Nobody: 9:58pm On Feb 13, 2018
Letzdothething:
poor girl?

Please tell me why no one loves a poor boy but a poor girl. How often do you see people love a poor boy so dearly but the poor girl.

Marriage these days is about alliance my dear don't fool yourself.

Poverty is a disease and every one must run away from it like usain bold.

I advise that he leaves the girl and her family alone. Life is not fair after all.
ok, you missed the context the poor girl was in. Poor girl not because of funds, but poor girl because her fiance doesn't deserve her and she has dated him for five years.
Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by babadee1(m): 9:58pm On Feb 13, 2018
deanxy:
My fiancee and I have been in a relationship for 5 years now. I met her since she was in secondary school. We both love each other and she is very nice, loving and supportive too.

We have talked and started planning on settling down and that should before the end of the year but I am beginning to have a second thought.

The problem is not my fiancee but her mom. The woman is very nice and welcoming but lately, she did something that I am not comfortable with. Last week she sent me a text asking for financial assistance. That her daughter (my fiancee) is yet to pay her house rent at school and that my fiancee younger brother is yet to pay his registration fee. And so she had asked me to loan her some amount before the end of the month when she will remit it. That she considered me a son and that's why she confided in me. I later sent her SMS that I don't have anything.

I was like why would she asked me for loan when her daughter never asked for one naira in our Five years of relationship? So my fear is, should I marry her daughter, wont she trouble me with further demands? Please is there anyway around this? Please what do I do?

So you're saying your mother in law cannot ask you for financial help. Are you sure you're ready for marriage at all? If you don't have you tell her you don't have and life goes on. Did she make a fuss when you replied her message and said you can't help? Please try to grow up. Once you get married you have to be as responsible a husband, father and son in law as possible.

5 Likes

Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by freetheking: 9:58pm On Feb 13, 2018
No need to pull out of the relationship b/c of your mother in-law to be,if you have cash to assist her just do not to loan.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by Funkybabee(f): 9:59pm On Feb 13, 2018
Na this kind of guy fall with gold digger girl wey go destroy their marriage,is not a curse but to be frankling speaking I don't think your kind of marriage will last if u continue ur behaviour

5 Likes

Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by Nobody: 9:59pm On Feb 13, 2018
UjuJoan2:


This is quite surprising. I half I expected you to jump on the parade and curse women as gold diggers.

Thank God for little mercies!!!

I get really really angry when I read posts like this. As if marrying him is some kind of achievement. For God's sake can't he help out someone in need for the sake of being nice, talk more of his prospective in-laws?

I have her account number wink

I'm tempted to get the poor woman's account number and give her the money myself to avoid further insult from this yeye man. Arrant nonsense!
Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by Nobody: 10:01pm On Feb 13, 2018
It is an honour someone to ask you for help and you here telling us how you want to cut off relationship. Somebody better will marry her and render the help you refused her without judging the woman for who respected.
I'm not just happy with your thinking mentality.

4 Likes

Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by Culin(f): 10:01pm On Feb 13, 2018
Trustme2:
Hey cute chic grin grin
wink Hey handsome
Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by Letzdothething: 10:02pm On Feb 13, 2018
Donlittle:
ok, you missed the context the poor girl was in. Poor girl not because of funds, but poor girl because her fiance doesn't deserve her and she has dated him for five years.
same way she dated him for five years is the same way he dated her for five years.

Helloooo, where are the gender equality warriors when you need them grin

My friend, nobody ever loves a poor guy. Don't be fooled to settle for less to a poor girl for love, she most likely wouldn't love the guy if she had a better choice or if the guy was broke. The probability is high.

Make the best decision not for emotions but the best based on data, experience and assumption.

6 Likes

Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by mamachizzy(f): 10:03pm On Feb 13, 2018
u don't love her. u are just looking for a flimsy excuse to walk away. pls let her go.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by ladycomfort(f): 10:04pm On Feb 13, 2018
Hmmmm. Stingy fool

Am very sure the food and drinks you were served during visitation were bought with that woman's money....

And you have never given out your own one naira before.... Thief sad

6 Likes

Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by godofuck231: 10:05pm On Feb 13, 2018
deanxy:
My fiancee and I have been in a relationship for 5 years now. I met her since she was in secondary school. We both love each other and she is very nice, loving and supportive too.

We have talked and started planning on settling down and that should before the end of the year but I am beginning to have a second thought.

The problem is not my fiancee but her mom. The woman is very nice and welcoming but lately, she did something that I am not comfortable with. Last week she sent me a text asking for financial assistance. That her daughter (my fiancee) is yet to pay her house rent at school and that my fiancee younger brother is yet to pay his registration fee. And so she had asked me to loan her some amount before the end of the month when she will remit it. That she considered me a son and that's why she confided in me. I later sent her SMS that I don't have anything.

I was like why would she asked me for loan when her daughter never asked for one naira in our Five years of relationship? So my fear is, should I marry her daughter, wont she trouble me with further demands? Please is there anyway around this? Please what do I do?
Guy u don buy market, nna Igbo woman na em u price, her daughter is for sale not bride price paying parade
Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by olaboy1: 10:06pm On Feb 13, 2018
Double standard comments everywhere. Nobody has asked you what you do for a living because we live in a selfish society.

Below was my comment on the attached link. You don’t need to do anything my guy, Nigerian parents should from today be forced to have not more than 2 kids, many mothers have teenage daughters that they don’t give a sh$it about how they survive. School fees, rent and food should not be placed on your shoulder...very heartless people everywhere

https://www.nairaland.com/4339785/run-away-successful-lady-above/10#64981063

“Women’s lies are not meant to deceive other women, they are meant to deceive men but definitely not men like me.
Nigerian men don’t want their women to succeed more than them, but yet they help her sometimes pay her tuition, send her money for provision, pay her rent in school, send her recharge cards in her struggling days and whilst doing all these the ‘I don’t want my woman to succeed more than me man’ is prolly living on garri and groundnut.

You can tell yourself whatever that soothes your mind, the truth can never be faulted, Nigerian men are the most caring men around the world. We are tired of hearing there are no good men, and we get the whole concept of assortative mating of picking a partner in your league but biological clock can’t be reset....I’m just saying don’t wait until those eggs are fried out.

In the end, biology wins, and everything else was just an illusion of what people thought they really wanted.”

2 Likes

Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by Nobody: 10:07pm On Feb 13, 2018
Letzdothething:
same way she dated him for five years is the same way he dated her for five years.

Helloooo, where are the gender equality warriors when you need them grin

My friend, nobody ever loves a poor guy. Don't be fooled to settle for less to a poor girl for love, she most likely wouldn't love the guy if she had a better choice or if the guy was broke. The probability is high.

Make the best decision not for emotions but the best based on data, experience and assumption.
marry a poor girl? she is in university to better her self, not like she is asking for the money to go clubbing or something. It's for rent.

What does helping your fellow human has to do with equality?

4 Likes

Re: I Want To Marry Her, But I Am Having A Second Thought Because Of Her Mom by undisputedgbola(m): 10:08pm On Feb 13, 2018
kmcutez:


Read the post very well. He has the money. He's just being condescending.
I know right.....

I'm just being liberal-minded reading the post...

But for him to have responded that he doesn't have anything is where the 'solution' is - maybe the response was out of stinginess or in truth; he doesn't have...

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