Mynd44:
Why have an affair when you can divorce him? He has made it clear that he does not want you anymore so why bother?

Everytime I hear nonsense like "I am staying because of my children" I wonder what that is about. As much as broken homes affect children, a home that is in conflict does more harm than a broken home.

You have 3 boys and you are allowing them see their father treat you like a rag yet you think you are doing the best for them? I hope she knows those kids will probably grow up to make useless statements like "why can't women of nowadays endure like my mother did?" She is raising children that will think it os okay to do this and a "good woman" is supposed to soak it in.

You are supposed to show your kids that women need love too and deserve respect.
You are supposed to let your kids know it is wrong to be mean to other people.
You are supposed to show that marriage is not by force, that people deserve to be happy even if it means going their own way.

I hope she makes the right choice and does what is right for her sanity, her well being, the children she claims to live for and the culture.

But then again, what do I know? I am even single sef

Women who know they dont have enough money to take care of kids and pay bills are the ones who make such statements..

zicoraads:

That one weak me

Hahahahah

Mynd44:
Why have an affair when you can divorce him? He has made it clear that he does not want you anymore so why bother?

Everytime I hear nonsense like "I am staying because of my children" I wonder what that is about. As much as broken homes affect children, a home that is in conflict does more harm than a broken home.

You have 3 boys and you are allowing them see their father treat you like a rag yet you think you are doing the best for them? I hope she knows those kids will probably grow up to make useless statements like "why can't women of nowadays endure like my mother did?" She is raising children that will think it os okay to do this and a "good woman" is supposed to soak it in.

You are supposed to show your kids that women need love too and deserve respect.
You are supposed to let your kids know it is wrong to be mean to other people.
You are supposed to show that marriage is not by force, that people deserve to be happy even if it means going their own way.

I hope she makes the right choice and does what is right for her sanity, her well being, the children she claims to live for and the culture.

But then again, what do I know? I am even single sef

before you give marital advice like this, pls hear from both sides. Never conclude that all she said is all there is....

UjuJoan2:


But you'll still have to chase the university babe and ask her for sex. There's a difference between initiating sex and being sexually interesting. Me I will not ask for sex, but that doesn't mean if my husband touches me I won't fucc him to Oblivion.

If you want to cheat go ahead, just don't blame it on your wife.

madam chill...... u don't know how this university girls do stuff... provided u meet their little needs, they re all over u, so u ll not ask for sex from your own husband? even when u are hot? do it's a most a man initiate sex in your mindset? then God bless u with a man without ego cos me and my likes will prefer staying put than initiate sex all time....

Niceguy123:
what nonsense is this one saying

It's either she focus on what she has (gift of children) or she leave the marriage to fulfil her sex drive.
The easy way out (infidelity) might lead to unpleasant situations if you get what I mean.
Nonsense?

Harddiskng:
........

I wouldn't mind to have sex with my husband but begging him to is not an option!!



My brother wetin we never see with these our eyes. The source of some people’s problem dey look them korokoro but they always fail to knowledge it.

Reminds of a story about the woman that went to a herbalist asking for love portion that her husband doesn’t love her again. That her husband doesn’t even talk to her.

The lady was like a daughter to Baba, na so Baba think think think oo. Finally he gave her the “charm”, unknown to the woman; What Baba gave her was just an ordinary local version of Maggi.

Baba instructed that the woman must cook for her husband everyday and put small of the “charm” in the food. Then she must beg him and do everything to please him, so he eats her food everyday. Say the “charm” strong, say anyday wey her husband dey house and doesn’t eat her food gobe fit happen.

Na so the woman come back beaming with smile after one month say “Baba the charm work ehen”. Then Baba laughed and opened up say na ordinary local maggi i give you my daughter; oya go home and always treat your husband well and with respect.

just imagine.
They fail to understand that sometimes when a man sulks, all he's asking for is just some bit of love and appreciation from his woman. The heart of some women is hard as nails I tell you brah - in fact marrying a short/petite woman is not even an option for me - their hearts are at their backs, my own mother affirmed this. They will hurt you deeply but rather than apologize, they let the guilt eat at them inside hoping you make the first move.

You are married to a man for fifteen years and father of your three sons yet you don't know what he likes or how to get to him. I bet you, if shoes were reversed, that man would be on his knees every night begging to have a piece of her.

Some women are just so cold. It's little wonder he chose to take a second life. Better go polygamous than die before your time.

boss1310:
the man seems to be wealthy cos you never complained of wants rather sexual needs,I don't think you want to divorce him like people are advising because if he is poor am sure you would have left him
am also against divorce but madam as a man I have to tell you that once a man is tired of you no matter your seductive attire,perfumes and improved behaviour it will be too hard to find you attractive again sexually.his attention is somewhere else now
i will still advise that you kindly study your competition and know what is it about her that made her irresistible to your husband,when you do that try getting his attention but if he doesn't change better leave him cos we the men sometimes value that woman who leave us than the one who stayed and take all our poo,he will come begging before you know it

Thumbs up at bolded! I've seen and heard of it a whole lot of times.

Mynd44:

So an adult having sex is a vice?

Would you type this same thing if a woman denied her husband sex for 24 months?

You are wasting your time with that fellow you replied. He is obviously a catholic because they are the ones that view sex as a 'vice' or at best a 'necessary evil' that is only meant for procreation. They have a very warped and twisted (and also dangerous) notion concerning the place of sex in marriage.

utenwuson:
madam chill...... u don't know how this university girls do stuff... provided u meet their little needs, they re all over u, so u ll not ask for sex from your own husband? even when u are hot? do it's a most a man initiate sex in your mindset? then God bless u with a man without ego cos me and my likes will prefer staying put than initiate sex all time....

i really don't know why Nigerian ladies believe a man must be the one to initiate sex
is not a crime if the woman takes the bull by the horn
lord knows it will get to a point i will just stop initiating
it and be on my own

Some married women are the cause of there problem. Before marriage they will respect your husband to be as their lord, but once you marry them, those respect are gone. They will start forming boss in the house, some will no longer cook.

Women always cry victim if the battle they began turns against them.

They will never tell you the cause of the problem, I expected this woman to tell the world also what she did wrong that made her husband to abandon her.

There is nothing wrong in talking to your husband about how you have been treated. Having an affair outside your matrimonial home is not only morally wrong, but against the commandment of God. Read Exodus 20:14, Mark 10:12, 1Corinthians 7:4, as someone rightly said, talk to the people he respects or take him to court if he is adamant. And a divorce is not an option in this scenario since you are the first wife. May God save your marriage!

She cannot ask the husband for sex but the man can ask abi? continue. We do not know the REAL root cause of this matter. I am married with 4 Kids and it is very funny that you ask your wife for sex and she go dey form whereas she no go ask. If you lock up you become a bad person who does not know that his wife has feelings. How we go satisfy women for this life? The lady better swallow her pride and like someone said reignite the fire if not na she go loose last last o

Priscy01:
A Nigerian woman shared her marital woes on a Facebook group and the replies she got are quite interesting to read.

According to the woman, her husband hasn't been intimate with her for 2 years though they live in the same house but they are living like a tenant. She said he married a new wife and brought her home and he now gives his undivided attention to his new pregnant wife and cares nothing for her. She's now asking if she should have an affair with another man who is asking her out, seeing as she is tired of masturbating.

Read what the woman wrote below;
NO SEX WITH MY HUSBAND FOR ALMOST 2YEARS, CAN I HAVE AN AFFAIRS?
My husband has not touched me for almost 2years. Is it still wrong for me to look for someone else?
We are in a marriage of 15years with 3 boys.
Almost 5years ago he asked if I minded if he had a second wife.
I told him I did mind because I hate polygamous marriage setting but he had the second wife anyway and has had several several affairs since.
He hasn't touched me since almost 2 years, we live as flat mates.
He wouldn't let me leave with my kids because he wanted to stay in the house together with his new wife who's pregnant and centre of his attention.
A man has shown interest in me, is it still wrong to have a physical relationship with him, even though I still live with my husband.
I haven't had a physical relationship for 2years. I'm tired of masturbation and dying to be touched and pleasure by my husband but he never look at me!!
I wouldn't mind to have sex with my husband but begging him to is not an option!!
I'm only in this marriage because of my children otherwise, I would have long gone!!
I need advice please."

As expected, lots of advice were given to the woman and most of them will leave you shaking your head.

Read their advice below;

https://www.torimill.com/2018/03/no-sex-with-my-husband-for-almost-2years-can-i-have-an-affair-lady-asks-see-advice.html


Lalasticlala Mynd44 Dominique

Your situation may not be as serious as it seems if you're ready to calm down before taking any rash decision.

Without communication, there's no life in any relationship. So you will need to swallow your pride and anger and be prepared to talk with maturity.

You can't go badging on him and expect him to listen, he won't. First, leave the other woman out of this. Reflect on your attitude before abandoning you for the other woman, even if it is not the most romantic of relationships you had then, at least you were making love together, except he's not the father of the three boys.

Call for his attention by saying you have one or two things to tell him, apologize if need be, even if you can't remember any wrong you have done, rub his ego by apologizing for no error you committed. Find out why such a lover like will abandon his wife, which is you. All of these you must do with a forgiving heart of yours. He might come up with the REASONS for his action.

From your story, why will a man ask you if he can marry another wife? That says volume, it's either you're bluffing him on this same sex demand from him, and now that he has gone to pick another wife, you want the sex. Or, your appearance at home like most of you women do, shabby dressing without a concern for how he sees you.

Whatever he says in responding to you, it is you by your behaviour that will determine whether that will take his baby after delivery of the 2nd woman and come back to the wife of his 1st love or keep ignoring you.

I know it's difficult to share a spouse with another person, but if you don't bug him and even ask him to bring the woman home, and you relate with both of them well, without bitterness, you will still have your husband back.

All,of these my advice is dependent on your ability to understand God and know how to pray for yourself mostly not to misbehave.

God bless and help you.

Priscy01:
A Nigerian woman shared her marital woes on a Facebook group and the replies she got are quite interesting to read.

According to the woman, her husband hasn't been intimate with her for 2 years though they live in the same house but they are living like a tenant. She said he married a new wife and brought her home and he now gives his undivided attention to his new pregnant wife and cares nothing for her. She's now asking if she should have an affair with another man who is asking her out, seeing as she is tired of masturbating.

Read what the woman wrote below;
NO SEX WITH MY HUSBAND FOR ALMOST 2YEARS, CAN I HAVE AN AFFAIRS?
My husband has not touched me for almost 2years. Is it still wrong for me to look for someone else?
We are in a marriage of 15years with 3 boys.
Almost 5years ago he asked if I minded if he had a second wife.
I told him I did mind because I hate polygamous marriage setting but he had the second wife anyway and has had several several affairs since.
He hasn't touched me since almost 2 years, we live as flat mates.
He wouldn't let me leave with my kids because he wanted to stay in the house together with his new wife who's pregnant and centre of his attention.
A man has shown interest in me, is it still wrong to have a physical relationship with him, even though I still live with my husband.
I haven't had a physical relationship for 2years. I'm tired of masturbation and dying to be touched and pleasure by my husband but he never look at me!!
I wouldn't mind to have sex with my husband but begging him to is not an option!!
I'm only in this marriage because of my children otherwise, I would have long gone!!
I need advice please."

As expected, lots of advice were given to the woman and most of them will leave you shaking your head.

Read their advice below;

https://www.torimill.com/2018/03/no-sex-with-my-husband-for-almost-2years-can-i-have-an-affair-lady-asks-see-advice.html


Lalasticlala Mynd44 Dominique

how i wish i could meet her personally I will tell her she should rather ask herself if it's wrong to be happy!!! Hv an affair!! Yes cheat n when ur caught? divorce!!! Run with ur kids!!! That's not marriage that's bondage!! Some men r just mad!! Why won't u satisfy ur wife

Oludon20:
She cannot ask the husband for sex but the man can ask abi? continue. We do not know the REAL root cause of this matter. I am married with 4 Kids and it is very funny that you ask your wife for sex and she go dey form whereas she no go ask. If you lock up you become a bad person who does not know that his wife has feelings. How we go satisfy women for this life? The lady better swallow her pride and like someone said reignite the fire if not na she go loose last last o

lock up 4 2 years really? Smh

OP you simply can't take care of the kids if you want to move I guess that's why you are staying not about the children thing........ I mean if the man was dead poor and you have to funds would you stay because if the children? The answer is no.

Women should learn to work hard and make some money else stupid men will capitalize on that. In my honest opinion get a divorce or get yourself a fuucck mate but be ready for its consequences.

If I leave my future wife intentionally untouched for 2 years and she cheats then I'm at fault.

Shugavee:
lock up 4 2 years really? Smh

Yes especially if she is not improving.Even me sef I hv locked up and seriously thinking of getting another woman,from the look of things it seems maddam no fit carry the load alone so she needs helper. I hv advised her severally on what needs to be done with no improvement. But why are ladies so stubborn and unbelievable?

princeadams11:

Every human has his own form of trial. Some, is marriage, some financial, some health. Your ability to understand your trial period and address it amicably distinguish you from weak and people of no faith. So, let's understand that things happen for a reason in life. Our parents are not perfect and yet they are still together. Why can't we endure the hurdles. We determine who we are by what we do, so, let's not take ugly decisions out of anger.

at the end of the day ur happiness should not be traded for anything. So that woman should endure emotional torment till she dies what a silly life to live. The kids already know wasup in such scenerios.

Follow your mind such an issue doesn't need advice.dont take anybody advice madam.because no one will be there to see the end with you.

jerflakes:
No you cannot, you deepshit

Do you know the meaning of: for better for worse?

So the man that went ahead to take a second wife doesn't know the meaning of - for better or worse. People can never be truthful.

Mynd44:

I prefer a GF

Cc: AntiBrutus.

Poco! Come here. I have found the ONE for you

Imagine the power

Our very own Nairaland power couple

AntiBrutus:


Hehehehe. See Zicoraads partner in sex

Well, It isn't the lack of sex that will make me leave sef...it is the total disregard he had for our vow. I don't do polygamy.

That 'I like sex a lot' part sounded exactly how I sounded yesterday

A lot of guys like sex aii. It's just what it is

change ur ways probably to the former.

ednut1:
at the end of the day ur happiness should not be traded for anything. So that woman should endure emotional torment till she dies what a silly life to live. The kids already know wasup in such scenerios.

I admire her courage for staying 2 years I such condition, she did great. Nobody is in support of injustice. However, in my opinion, divorce is not the answer. Since she can endure for 2 years, I think they can resolve their difference and forgive themselves. We should take examples from our parents, I am sure a lot of our parents pass through worse cases and are happy today. Marriage institution is totally different from boyfriend and girlfriend thing. No home or marriage is perfect, people pass through hard times. We must learn to solve our problems ourselves. The lady has done well and has tried, but divorce is not the answer. May God help us all and solve our life challenges.

Mynd44:
Why have an affair when you can divorce him? He has made it clear that he does not want you anymore so why bother?

Everytime I hear nonsense like "I am staying because of my children" I wonder what that is about. As much as broken homes affect children, a home that is in conflict does more harm than a broken home.

You have 3 boys and you are allowing them see their father treat you like a rag yet you think you are doing the best for them? I hope she knows those kids will probably grow up to make useless statements like "why can't women of nowadays endure like my mother did?" She is raising children that will think it os okay to do this and a "good woman" is supposed to soak it in.

You are supposed to show your kids that women need love too and deserve respect.
You are supposed to let your kids know it is wrong to be mean to other people.
You are supposed to show that marriage is not by force, that people deserve to be happy even if it means going their own way.

I hope she makes the right choice and does what is right for her sanity, her well being, the children she claims to live for and the culture.

But then again, what do I know? I am even single sef

u right in a sense tho, buh u r sayin this cos u vn't been a victim of seperated parents, dats the worst thing i wuldn't pray any kid shuld experience. It's so devastating especially wen with ur dad and ur re so young.


It's selfish of anyone to put their feelins first before the kids. For the kids sake jus mak it wrk.
Atleast u ve come this far, while turn ur sacrifices, dedication, commitment, resources n time a waste. C'mon there 's always a light at very end of tunnel, while throw in the towel wen others re seein worst or ve seen worst than u. One thing i do believe is ''There's always way''.

baddosky1:


Don't mind the yeye woman. She can't beg him for sex but she wants to go and do it outside the confines of marriage. Mtchewww!

You still call that marriage abi. When the man now has a second wife and doesn't give a damn about her. I blame the fact that she doesn't have money of her own cos obvious.

I don't support having an affair but she needs to divorce him and marry another if possible. Because that man already has defiled his marriage to her

princeadams11:

I admire her courage for staying 2 years I such condition, she did great. Nobody is in support of injustice. However, in my opinion, divorce is not the answer. Since she can endure for 2 years, I think they can resolve their difference and forgive themselves. We should take examples from our parents, I am sure a lot of our parents pass through worse cases and are happy today. Marriage institution is totally different from boyfriend and girlfriend thing. No home or marriage is perfect, people pass through hard times. We must learn to solve our problems ourselves. The lady has done well and has tried, but divorce is not the answer. May God help us all and solve our life challenges.

Baba, lets be honest, what most of "our" parents endured are not marriage. They are emotional, pshycological and physical torture with marriage as an excuse.

No human should be comforted with such things like "if our parents could have endured it" when will the cycle be broken? Marriage should be enjoyed and not endured

Chuks9000:


Oga, she is married. Meaning she took vows.
Meaning sex is not what she was born for.
If she really cannot overcome the sex temptations, at the detriment of her safety and her kids wellbeing, then she should take a walk and be free.

Was that not the same vow the man took but went ahead to marry and impregnate another woman. If what is good for the goose is also good for the gosling, then no one should blame her if she decides to have sex with another man but if I were to be her, I would have walked a long time ago with my kids. They can locate their father when they grow

Mynd44:

Baba, lets be honest, what most of "our" parents endured are not marriage. They are emotional, pshycological and physical torture with marriage as an excuse.

No human should be comforted with such things like "if our parents could have endured it" when will the cycle be broken? Marriage should be enjoyed and not endured

Let's be objective young lady. I guess you are still single. Wakeup from that dream and don't think you can enjoy marriage through out marital life. Marriage is not like your present status (boyfriend and girlfriend thing). Lack of patience and tolence is what kills our youth. You want to get rich quick, you want a perfect marriage, you want this and that. Better change your orientation and think straight before it's too late 4 u.

princeadams11:

Let's be objective young lady. I guess you are still single. Wakeup from that dream and don't think you can enjoy marriage through out marital life. Marriage is not like your present status (boyfriend and girlfriend thing). Lack of patience and tolence is what kills our youth. You want to get rich quick, you want a perfect marriage, you want this and that. Better change your orientation and think straight before it's too late 4 u.

I am a guy.

A man marries a new wife, constantly cheats on her and has ignored her for 2 years and you are preaching patience.

Will you preach the same to a woman?

jerflakes:


I'm catholic, we don't do divorce

Oga na lie. I have an in-law who is also a Catholic that got recently divorced from his wife because he found out she was a lesbian

Mynd44:

I am a guy.

A man marries a new wife, constantly cheats on her and has ignored her for 2 years and you are preaching patience.

Will you preach the same to a woman?

I will preach same 2 anybody that comes my way. I am not in support of what the man did, in fact I know the man, I will treat his fuckup. In same vane, I am not in support of divorce. Divorce should be the last thing when other means have failed. She asked, for advice. People should try and give positive advice like meeting with both family members etc. When all these measure years no result. Then they can think of divorce instead of divorce been the first step. It's well bro