₦airaland Forum

donstan18:
I'v done that and still couldn't figure out your point.

So tell, what's your point, don't tell me you can't express.

i am a person of few words if u notice me very well!!!! N i hate typing,, But here, u can't tell who is knowledgeable about feminism or not, espeacially if u r not a feminist, n more with the fact that feminism has no usual pattern, most feminist don't agree with everything, so if ur not knowledgeable abt it u can hardly understand the persons point of view, for example chiamanda believes a lady while married shouldn't be addressed as mrs!!! Me as a feminist I am not 100% with that, but cause i am knowledgeable abt feminism, i understand her point of view " the fact A man is called mr while married n not married, why does a woman hv to be called to represent her marital status while a man isn't but me i feel we hv so many things to deal with 4 the girl child, Mrs n mr will figure out itself eventually, so many things, so if ur not knowledgeable u can't understand feminism, most of us read alot of books, historical, literal n do research, u can't understand feminism if ur not one, some people will say most of us contradict ourselves!!! But if u read enough as a feminist u understand why it varies!! N always seek 4 better understanding of the other persons view even if u don't agree with it!!! Gosh so exhausting

shaybebaby:
Why disregard it? I am in complete agreement with her. Typing epistle here is simply duplicating her brilliant effort.

If you have any critiques to make about any of the points she raised, bring it here and I'll get stuck in.

Lol...Hahahahah
I'v told you why I disregarded it.


Can't you tell and explain feminism to me?

donstan18:
Yea, most feminists are lesbians .

He's right.

What is this one blabbing about? Lmaooo

Shugavee:
i am a person of few words if u notice me very well!!!! N i hate typing,, But here, u can't tell who is knowledgeable about feminism or not, espeacially if u r not a feminist, n more with the fact that feminism has no usual pattern, most feminist don't agree with everything, so if ur not knowledgeable abt it u can hardly understand the persons point of view, for example chiamanda believes a lady while married shouldn't be addressed as mrs!!! Me as a feminist I am not 100% with that, but cause i am knowledgeable abt feminism, i understand her point of view " the fact A man is called mr while married n not married, why does a woman hv to be called to represent her marital status while a man isn't but me i feel we hv so many things to deal with 4 the girl child, Mrs n mr will figure out itself eventually, so many things, so if ur not knowledgeable u can't understand feminism, most of us read alot of books, historical, literal n do research, u can't understand feminism if ur not one, some people will say most of us contradict ourselves!!! But if u read enough as a feminist u understand why it varies!! N always seek 4 better understanding of the other persons view even if u don't agree with it!!! Gosh so exhausting

What if I know much about feminism ?

Like....So much that you can't imagine

shaybebaby:
It is evident that you do not understand the ideology behind it so I'll direct you to Misswrite's post. She has done justice to explaining it in the simplest terms.

I also gave some examples in response to the multiple B fella.

And when you say them, you need to be more specific because the only qualifying term you have used is nairaland /e blah blah.

I am on nairaland and I identify as a feminist. And I know lots of ladies on here who walk the talk. That debunks your claim.

With all due respect, you explained nothing to me

You only insulted all men by calling us the oppressors. You also believed that any lady that doesn't join forces to fight against these men oppressors are stupid and looking to gain favors with men




Is that the definition of the word "equality" in your dictionary?

Exactly that's what feminism is about, freedom to choose your own destiny.

MissWrite:
Lol , SSG! I knew you were going to lure me into long talk.

A woman's social independence from a man doesn't mean she cannot want one. Or that she cannot want to be domestic. Or that she must never accept money from a man. It just means that she's a self-determining entity in society, complete by herself, and free to make choices where an arbitrary man's opinion on the matter is irrelevant. What I mean by that last bit? Choosing to be a teacher or a nurse because men find soldiering or engineering "too hard for a woman"; deciding to buy a hatchback instead of a proper sedan because men would find you "less approachable"; staying in your parents house until you're forty (when you're unmarried) so that men would think you're a good homely girl. So, generally censoring yourself, and refusing to start out your life because you haven't been joined with a man. That's the independence which feminism advocates: you are your own person.

We are not put in boxes of other people's expectations; whether that box be a "traditional housewife" or a "career girl". Feminism allows women value themselves, and give expression to their individual desires. Choice. If as a feminist you feel pressure to become a career woman even when you don't want to be one, then you have not been emancipated. (Please read my article on feminism. To the end)

A woman who has a full understanding of feminism is not going to be pressured by it. It is liberating and makes you (as a woman) the focus of your life. Men shouldn't be intimidated by it either, because a traditional man can still find what he is looking for in the PERSONAL values of a traditional girl. But the notion that feminism tries to kill is that "all women" must fit into this box simply because they're women; and "all men" must fit into that box because they're men. Thereby, it gives every individual (not just women, but men as well) freedom to express themselves beyond the traditional gender roles. Some people cannot handle a world without these boxes because then, whatever inadequacies that have been ascribed to the female gender (or male gender) become your personal inadequacies. So they prefer to hide in those boxes which have all women branded as weak as a curtesy.

Someone once alluded to the fact that Beyonce's feminism was a sham because she's now married and submissive to a husband who has also got the temerity to cheat on her. What I see here is a person who is already so used to telling a woman what to be and how to react to her situations, doing more of the same. Feminism let's YOU BE YOU. The aim is to eradicate oppression. You are referring to Amara. She isn't less feminist for being married. She's done her basic responsibility as a feminist woman by exercising her right to choose for HERSELF and not society. We aren't all going to want the same things; that's the beauty of individualism. Or feminism.

I've rambled on............and I haven't given you the list you requested. But I don't think a long list is even required. The characteristics of a feminist woman: self esteem, self awareness, self love.

lovelygurl:
What is this one blabbing about? Lmaooo

You'v been noticed

donstan18:
You'v been noticed

Well thanks for making my day

Nairaland fools never fail to disappoint

lovelygurl:
Well thanks for making my day

Nairaland fools never fail to disappoint

Thank your God for making your day.

I'm not your God and saviour, or are you crushing to the extent of seeing me as your god.

donstan18:
Thank your God for making your day.

I'm not your God and saviour, or are you crushing to the extent of seeing me as your god.

Ehn

donstan18:
What if I know much about feminism ?

Like....So much that you can't imagine

This is the bias in feminism. They will never agree that they are wrong, but are constantly nagging men to accept changes in the society

Both amara and shuga were wrong making those assertions and insulting their fellow ladies.

Whatever they claim to be doing isn't feminism, but you will never see any nairaland feminists caution them, rather they will try to make excuses for them

Perhaps the observations of many male and female nairalanders are actually accurate.

I now believe that most Nairaland feminists are a set of bitter and opinionative ladies, trying to bully everyone into their corner

This thread was an eye opener

donstan18:
Lol...Hahahahah
I'v told you why I disregarded it.


Can't you tell and explain feminism to me?

lolz you strong no be small.u've been arguing with online abi na internet feminists since morning.

Brother abeg stop arguing with does faceless wannabes feminists,they are just confuse set of follow follow.

greiboy:
This is the bias in feminism. They will never agree that they are wrong, but are constantly nagging men to accept changes in the society

Both amara and shuga were wrong making those assertions and insulting their fellow ladies.

Whatever they claim to be doing isn't feminism, but you will never see any nairaland feminists caution them, rather they will try to make excuses for them

Perhaps the observations of many male and female nairalanders are actually accurate.

I now believe that most Nairaland feminists are a set of bitter and opinionative ladies, trying to bully everyone into their corner

This thread was an eye opener

do u know I dont care!!! Let me explain!!! Like even if u like my feminist theories, what does it do 4 me? Ur opinion is of no use to me!!! Like it or not, that ur concern!!

Shugavee:
do u know I dont care!!! Let me explain!!! Like even if u like my feminist theories, what does it do 4 me? Ur opinion is of no use to me!!! Like it or not, that ur concern!!

To be clear, I wasn't looking for validation either

So be rest assured that it is a mutual thing

greiboy:
This is the bias in feminism. They will never agree that they are wrong, but are constantly nagging men to accept changes in the society

Both amara and shuga were wrong making those assertions and insulting their fellow ladies.

Whatever they claim to be doing isn't feminism, but you will never see any nairaland feminists caution them, rather they will try to make excuses for them

Perhaps the observations of many male and female nairalanders are actually accurate.

I now believe that most Nairaland feminists are a set of bitter and opinionative ladies, trying to bully everyone into their corner

This thread was an eye opener

Lol,

They aren't smart atall...Filled with bitterness.

Just look at how MissWrite harmlessly dropped her explanation on feminism

And these dunce and dullard e-goats started directing me to her comment, they can't just explain for themselves

MissWrite show your face here, we are yet to settle a case and you know that.

greiboy:
To be clear, I wasn't looking for validation either

So be rest assured that it is a mutual thing

really?? U sure Okay so since u dont need validation, quite trying to figure out my life!!! Bitter or not, its not ur business!!! We all trying civil n trying to educate ourselves!!! N if u don't like it u can just move on!!! Life is not that hard!!! It's has been comment n comment of this same old, for hours!!!

lovelygurl:
Ehn

Gerarahia mehn!

donstan18:
Our society isn't depriving women their right, you guyz should come up with a clearer explanation on your goals.

you asked a question that if women are deprived from being mechanics and welders if it's still sexist, I just answered your question.

women are still stopped from inheriting properties and married off at 12/13 in this Nigeria.

The problems feminism/women rights activism and other related movements tackle depends on the type of problems specific to a particular area/culture.

so activism in the northern Nigeria will be different from south western Nigeria

likewise Iran will be different from America.

donstan18:
Gerarahia mehn!

Cry me a river

In fact, come and push me out of here lmaooo

donstan18:
Lol,

They aren't smart atall...Filled with bitterness.

Just look at how MissWrite harmlessly dropped her explanation on feminism

And these dunce and dullard e-goats started directing me to her comment, they can't just explain for themselves

MissWrite show your face here, we are yet to settle a case and you know that.

nice u met someone u like!! If someone has to give anaysis of smart people, u cant be included Cause i hv never seen a comment of urs that has ever been smart!!!!!

1) There is no such thing as a “good” or “bad” feminist. That’s not how it works. Feminism isn’t about individual perfection or pretending as though we aren’t all impacted and shaped by the culture that surrounds us. So, yes, you can be a feminist and wear heels and makeup and listen to rap music (why on earth rap music is singled out here, I don’t know) and marry men and watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians , but those things are not feminist acts.

2) Beyoncé doesn’t define feminism. Go back to class.
Ok, now with those basics out of the way, let’s look at this list of things that don’t make us “bad feminists,” according to somebody who just heard feminism was a thing because Beyoncé.
Changing your last name when you get married


“I’ll never change my last name. Not because of any feminist reason, just because I like it, it suits me, and it’s mine. I think Beyoncé’s officially made it ‘okay’ for feminists to desire marriage.”
What?? Ok so for starters, you can change your last name if you feel like it, but know that that choice is not just about you making a personal choice for yourself outside of the context and history of patriarchy and that it is actually representative of something more. When you take on your husband’s name in marriage that is symbolic — the practice of doing this comes from a tradition wherein women were treated as chattel. Like, they were literally the property of men and so when women got married they changed their names in order to signify that they were no longer the property of their fathers, but were now the property of their husbands. They didn’t have a choice in the matter. There is absolutely no reason why women need to take on their husbands’ names in marriage anymore because they are no longer chattel (right? I hope?). That women continue to do this baffles me, but hey, so much of what we understand to be “romantic” is rooted in notions of female subordination and male domination, so I guess it’s not all that surprising.

Also, as mentioned earlier, what Beyoncé does does not necessarily equal “feminism.” Things that Beyoncé does might indeed be “feminist” if they are, in fact, “feminist,” but to say that anything she does is automatically feminist is ridiculous. Every single thing anyone does is not necessarily feminist. Ugh. This argument just makes me think Americans are stupid (sorry American readers, I know there are some good’uns out there, I just wish you were better represented is all…).

Letting a man pay for you
I’m fine with this, actually. If a man makes more money than me (which pretty much all of the men I date do, because my income is a joke and rent in Vancouver is too damn high), he is free to pay. In general, I pay for my own shit when I can, and sometimes when me and my boyfriend go out, he pays if he can afford to. I don’t expect him to, but he’s a nice guy and he knows when I’m broke and when I’m not. I think of it as communism more than anything else. I tell him he is supporting the movement by buying me shots of Jameson at the bar. This is how feminism works, right guys?

That said, being totally financially dependent on a man is a bad plan because it impacts your autonomy. Women often can’t — or feel they can’t — leave abusive relationships because they are financially dependent on their husbands or boyfriends. Also, men who are controlling assholes will use financial dependance to hurt or control women. Sometimes men who pay think they are owed certain things in return (sex, a slave, babies, etc.). This is a bad thing and this is why we talk about men paying for women within the context of patriarchy and male power.
Caring about your looks.

greiboy:
@bolded where did misswrite call men oppressors. And where on earth did you get your logic that some women will rather clinch to the mentality of being oppressed because they don't support feminism idea of freedom.

Do you know the definition of freedom at all

Freedom is the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants.

Why do you feel your idea of freedom is golden.


Are you telling others how to think, speak and act?


Misswrite agreed that we have different opinions of freedom and oppression and every one should be left to make their own choice, but equal gender right(feminism) is a universally acknowledged freedom for women, which I countered.


@red
How exactly did you come to your conclusion. Is it safe to say since op unapologetically generalized with her assumption, she was simply looking for the approval of women

Do you know that op created a thread three days ago just to praise men for their financial support

Then I'll ask you to read The pedagogy of the Oppressed to understand oppression a bit more.

Oppressor is an apt term, the etymology of the word oppressed comes from Latin and meant to "press down". Synonyms for the word include subjugation, repression, suppression etc. To do that, some rights would be infringed upon.

Miss used Stockholm syndrome as a sort of explanation for why women might defend patriarchy and reject feminism. The phrase was coined due to victims sometimes empathising with their abductors. Some argue that it is a survival strategy and similar to what victims of domestic abuse exhibit towards their abusers. Whatever the exact definition might be, it is evident that it appears in situations where one party feels powerless against their tormentor (I use that word loosely) so could be applied here where some women feel it is pointless to fight so identify with their oppressors (or the system that oppresses) instead.

I don't see where I gave the impression that I consider my definition of freedom as golden. Could it be because it resonates with you somewhere in your subconscious?

@Op,it is an option out of a myriad of reasons for what motivates her point but I couldn't definitely say that it is so in this instance. But out of many different posts by different people, there will be some motivated by the need to garner approval from fellow female folks.

In essence, sometimes our wants are the same but what motivates us differs. Hence why I said initially not everything is black or white.

What op did three days ago is none of my concern.

Shugavee:
really?? U sure Okay so since u dont need validation, quite trying to figure out my life!!! Bitter or not, its not ur business!!! We all trying civil n trying to educate ourselves!!! N if u don't like it u can just move on!!! Life is not that hard!!! It's has been comment n comment of this same old, for hours!!!

Sis I have been civil enough since morning.

You aren't interesting enough for me give a Bleep about your life. So please cut the crab. I haven't even tried to figure out the lives of people like mizwrite or poco, it is you I will find interesting.

You haven't make any meaningful contribution to your thread so far, besides the gibberish you manage to scribble together every now and then.

Perhaps you lack simple ability needed to comprehend beyond your intellectual capacity, but if you read your thread from the beginning till now, you should be able to pick up on few points I have raised through out the thread.

Don't try to be silly with me. Please don't

Una never still tire?fluidqueen bewaji is a feminist ooo.Shugavee and shaybebaby and others please leave one guy alone he understands what you mean he is just pretending to suit himself leave him to call you whatever he likes just ignore.

greiboy:
With all due respect, you explained nothing to me

You only insulted all men by calling us the oppressors. You also believed that any lady that doesn't join forces to fight against these men oppressors are stupid and looking to gain favors with men




Is that the definition of the word "equality" in your dictionary?

Not my responsibility to police your understanding or in this instance misunderstanding.

donstan18:
Lol...Hahahahah
I'v told you why I disregarded it.


Can't you tell and explain feminism to me?

No you didn't, you just stated that you did.

Secondly, if you consider that to be worth discarding, then it says a lot about your reasoning or lack of dare I say.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Una never still tire?fluidqueen bewaji is a feminist ooo.Shugavee and shaybebaby and others please leave one guy alone he understands what you mean he is just pretending to suit himself leave him to call you whatever he likes just ignore.

please just this last time

Shugavee:
nice u met someone u like!! If someone has to give anaysis of smart people, u cant be included Cause i hv never seen a comment of urs that has ever been smart!!!!!

How can I be smart when I'm punishing you with the bitter truth

greiboy:
Sis I have civil enough since morning.

You aren't interesting enough for me give a Bleep about your life. So please cut the crab. I haven't even tried to figure out the lives of people like mizwrite or poco, it is you I will find interesting.

You haven't make any meaningful contribution to your thread so far, besides gibberish you manage to scribble together every now and then.

Perhaps you lack simple ability needed to comprehend beyond your intellectual capacity, but if you read your thread from the beginning till now, you should be able to pick up on few points I have raised through out the thread.

Don't try to be silly with me. Please don't

whether u see my comments meaningful or not has nothing to do with me!!! So am supoose to be scared of u cause u insult people on nairaland 4 a living!!! So that's all u r Please i dont batter words with people, i am very good ignoring people like u!!!

Ladyhippolyta88:
Una never still tire?fluidqueen bewaji is a feminist ooo.Shugavee and shaybebaby and others please leave one guy alone he understands what you mean he is just pretending to suit himself leave him to call you whatever he likes just ignore.

As always, dialogues like this should be encouraged. Not for his benefit though , just because he finds no value in it doesn't mean others won't.

Shugavee:
please just this last time

Suit yourself.

shaybebaby:
As always, dialogues like this should be encouraged. Not for his benefit though , just because he finds no value in it doesn't mean others won't.

True.