Ladyhippolyta88:
Follow olu bunmi and joy isi bewaji.

Bewaji isn't a feminist tho.

MissWrite:



Lol , SSG! I knew you were going to lure me into long talk.

A woman's social independence from a man doesn't mean she cannot want one. Or that she cannot want to be domestic. Or that she must never accept money from a man. It just means that she's a self-determining entity in society, complete by herself, and free to make choices where an arbitrary man's opinion on the matter is irrelevant. What I mean by that last bit? Choosing to be a teacher or a nurse because men find soldiering or engineering "too hard for a woman"; deciding to buy a hatchback instead of a proper sedan because men would find you "less approachable"; staying in your parents house until you're forty (when you're unmarried) so that men would think you're a good homely girl. So, generally censoring yourself, and refusing to start out your life because you haven't been joined with a man. That's the independence which feminism advocates: you are your own person.

We are not put in boxes of other people's expectations; whether that box be a "traditional housewife" or a "career girl". Feminism allows women value themselves, and give expression to their individual desires. Choice. If as a feminist you feel pressure to become a career woman even when you don't want to be one, then you have not been emancipated. (Please read my article on feminism. To the end)

A woman who has a full understanding of feminism is not going to be pressured by it. It is liberating and makes you (as a woman) the focus of your life. Men shouldn't be intimidated by it either, because a traditional man can still find what he is looking for in the PERSONAL values of a traditional girl. But the notion that feminism tries to kill is that "all women" must fit into this box simply because they're women; and "all men" must fit into that box because they're men. Thereby, it gives every individual (not just women, but men as well) freedom to express themselves beyond the traditional gender roles. Some people cannot handle a world without these boxes because then, whatever inadequacies that have been ascribed to the female gender (or male gender) become your personal inadequacies. So they prefer to hide in those boxes which have all women branded as weak as a curtesy.

Someone once alluded to the fact that Beyonce's feminism was a sham because she's now married and submissive to a husband who has also got the temerity to cheat on her. What I see here is a person who is already so used to telling a woman what to be and how to react to her situations, doing more of the same. Feminism let's YOU BE YOU. The aim is to eradicate oppression. You are referring to Amara. She isn't less feminist for being married. She's done her basic responsibility as a feminist woman by exercising her right to choose for HERSELF and not society. We aren't all going to want the same things; that's the beauty of individualism. Or feminism.

I've rambled on............and I haven't given you the list you requested. But I don't think a long list is even required. The characteristics of a feminist woman: self esteem, self awareness, self love.

On point as usual

ibkayee:

On point as usual

You missed the revelation of oriaku brand of feminism

How have you been?

greiboy:
You missed the revelation of oriaku brand of feminism

How have you been?

Lol haven't gone through the thread tbh

I'm great thanks, you?

Bbbbbbbbbbbb:
I have to give kudos to Shugavee for making a thread that has generated lots of interests (630+ replies and still counting).

Truth be told i really don't see any discrimination gender wise.

1. In our various work places women earn equal pay like men and receive similar benefits
2. In most modern homes women are not relegated to the kitchen and doing house chores anymore: it's shared between both spouses
3. There is no discrimination with regards employment (recruitment)
4. Women now work in professions once considered taboo for them - we have female engineers, Geologists, Physicists (I remember years ago I even had 2 female colleagues roughing it out with the boys offshore)

With the present awareness now, I wouldn't be surprised if we get a female president in future (yes- go get your PVCs and stop complaining about Buhari)

So please don't blame me if I say I don't see any discrimination gender wise.

But are women fairly represented on the upper rungs of the career ladder despite the fact that girls often outperform bogs academically?
https://www.economist.com/blogs/economist-explains/2015/03/economist-explains-3

Why is the idea of the house husband reprehensible to many? It takes two people to make a baby, why is it solely the woman expected to cut short her career to do the raising?

Why should a man who would rather stay at home raising his kids whilst his partner brings home the bacon be seen as less of a man?

In essence it's not as simple as you make it seem and a lot of women ARE still relegated to the kitchen. Read posts here on nairaland and listen to the what the average male considers as tasks for women.

Look at your banks and the typical marketing personnel they hire. It is obvious that capacity is not the primary requirement but looks. A disadvantage to men who have the natural ability to generate sales, demeaning to the females as their value is on sex appeal.

ibkayee:

Lol haven't gone through the thread tbh

I'm great thanks, you?

Alright, that's good to hear

Please go through the thread tho

greiboy:
He is absolutely right

Go through the thread to understand what he meant

Some " oriaku feminists" even inferred that an engagement ring is reward for feminism

Right about what? He hasn't said what HE understand feminism to mean and how it works in practice.

greiboy:
Alright, that's is good to hear

Please go through the thread tho

Eventually

shaybebaby:

Right about what? He hasn't said what HE understand feminism to mean and how it works in practice.

So are you implying that the op and this thread represent the principles of feminism in anyway

It's the men that are being denied job self especially in sales and accounting jobs.. I used to think advocating for gender equality and female rights was the same thing as feminism but nairaland feminist have enlightened me lol

Bbbbbbbbbbbb:
I have to give kudos to Shugavee for making a thread that has generated lots of interests (630+ replies and still counting).

Truth be told i really don't see any discrimination gender wise.

1. In our various work places women earn equal pay like men and receive similar benefits
2. In most modern homes women are not relegated to the kitchen and doing house chores anymore: it's shared between both spouses
3. There is no discrimination with regards employment (recruitment)
4. Women now work in professions once considered taboo for them - we have female engineers, Geologists, Physicists (I remember years ago I even had 2 female colleagues roughing it out with the boys offshore)

With the present awareness now, I wouldn't be surprised if we get a female president in future (yes- go get your PVCs and stop complaining about Buhari)

So please don't blame me if I say I don't see any discrimination gender wise.

shaybebaby:

But are women fairly represented on the upper rungs of the career ladder despite the fact that girls often outperform bogs academically?
https://www.economist.com/blogs/economist-explains/2015/03/economist-explains-3

Why is the idea of the house husband reprehensible to many? It takes two people to make a baby, why is it solely the woman expected to cut short her career to do the raising?

Why should a man who would rather stay at home raising his kids whilst his partner brings home the bacon be seen as less of a man?

In essence it's not as simple as you make it seem and a lot of women ARE still relegated to the kitchen. Read posts here on nairaland and listen to the what the average male considers as tasks for women.

Look at your banks and the typical marketing personnel they hire. It is obvious that capacity is not the primary requirement but looks. A disadvantage to men who have the natural ability to generate sales, demeaning to the females as their value is on sex appeal.

I will touch on the point in boldface. Not trying to be sexist or anything, but women make better sales people than men. Apart from men being visual creatures (most of us are moved by what we see sadly ), it has been proven that women close deals better.They also close deals at a higher and faster rate than men.

In a study 30,469 sales calls worldwide using a self-learning conversations analytics engine, it was found that men had a 49% likelihood of moving opportunities to the next stage, while women boasted 54%.

And women’s win rates were 11% higher than men’s (on average).

greiboy:
So are you implying that the op and this thread represent the principles of feminism in anyway

I asked a question to gain clarity, a question which hasn't been answered as yet.

Very curious that you would assume the above implication.

Life is very much a spectrum not black and white. There will be some subjectivity.

Bbbbbbbbbbbb:


I will touch on the point in boldface. Not trying to be sexist or anything, but women make better sales people than men. Apart from men being visual creatures (most of us are moved by what we see sadly ), it has been proven that women close deals better.They also close deals at a higher and faster rate than men.

In a study 30,469 sales calls worldwide using a self-learning conversations analytics engine, it was found that men had a 49% likelihood of moving opportunities to the next stage, while women boasted 54%.

And women’s win rates were 11% higher than men’s (on average).

Probably because we are better communicators however my point is that ability does not correlate to how lucky the females are in the genetic lottery. So it should be irrelevant(sex appeal) in the selection process but it isn't now, is it?

By you stating that men are visual creatures, you are reinforcing the need for feminism because you are excusing the objectification of women.

shaybebaby:

I asked a question to gain clarity, a question which hasn't been answered as yet.

Very curious that you would assume the above implication.

Life is very much a spectrum not black and white. There will be some subjectivity.

You didn't direct your question to me and you haven't answered mine either

"Are you implying" is a simple question that requires a simple yes or no.

I am surprised that you think I have come to a conclusion, even though I had question mark at the end of my sentence

So answer the question !

A yes or no question is not a spectrum it is simple binary

shaybebaby:

Probably because we are better communicators however my point is that ability does not correlate to how lucky the females are in the genetic lottery. So it should be irrelevant(sex appeal) in the selection process but it isn't now, is it?

By you stating that men are visual creatures, you are reinforcing the need for feminism because you are excusing the objectification of women.

Sis my point is we are gradually getting there. You have to agree with me when I say there has been much progress with regard's womens rights in Africa these past few years.

Equality needs (and takes) time. It took 703 years for the UK to progress from the Magna Carta (1215) to the first votes for women (1918). A further 57 years elapsed before the sexual discrimination act (1975). Since few African countries have been independent for more than 60 years, it is unsurprising women's legal and cultural status lags behind countries like the UK.

We dey try sha

greiboy:
You didn't direct your question to me and you haven't answered mine either

"Are you implying" is a simple question that requires a simple yes or no.

I am surprised that you think I have come to a conclusion, even though I had question mark at the end of my sentence

So answer the question !

A yes or no question is not a spectrum it is simple binary

Her delivery may be crude but there is smidgen of truth to some of her observations.

Misswrite put it more aptly by calling it some sort of Stockholm syndrome. If men have historically been oppressors in this context, we STILL have some women who would rather cling on to patriarchy, they hate the imposition yet the status is like a blanket, it is familiar and to entertain the feminism argument would require a reassessment of everything they know and have been taught. Now we all know that the unfamiliar can be scary sometimes so sometimes one might choose to tread the path of predictability,what we know.

So if they still cling on patriarchy, ofcourse their opposition is based garnering approval from their masters which in turn boosts their self esteem.

So back to op, her use of "most" should have been "some", we no way of establishing her assertions as representative of that population.

Some of them are dick starved in the literal sense but so are some feminists as well. But if she meant it as seeking the approval of men, yes some women reject the idea because their existence is defined by what men expect from women (as stated by a lot of nairaland men for instance).

I will not generalise because I live the exception.

shaybebaby:

You are not condemning or bashing according to you but also made the claim they do not know what they advocate for.
So I can infer that you know this so I am asking you to share what YOU know about feminism.

Note I'm not asking for definitions or quotes, just your understanding of the subject matter.

I believe you are learned.

Being able to detect someone who's isn't knowledgeable about something doesn't necessarily mean you know it.

Saying that your president isn't doing well doesn't necessarily mean you can do well if you go there.

Being able to know someone who isn't good on a course then in school doesn't necessarily mean you know the course.

Saying a man isn't strong doesn't mean you can beat the person.

I have been questioning ladies herein about feminism, none have been able to tell... NONE of them.

Ask them the reason for advocating and watch them flop.

Ask them how women are being cheated and watch them flop.

I still stand that what we have on Nland are e-goat feminist wannabes.


PERIOD!

donstan18:

I believe you are learned.

Being able to detect someone who's isn't knowledgeable about something doesn't necessarily mean you know it.

Saying that your president isn't doing well doesn't necessarily mean you can do well if you go there.

Being able to know someone who isn't good on a course then in school doesn't necessarily mean you know the course.

Saying a man isn't strong doesn't mean you can beat the person.

I have been questioning ladies herein about feminism, none have been able to tell... NONE of them.

Ask them the reason for advocating and watch them flop.

Ask them how women are being cheated and watch them flop.

I still stand that what we have on Nland are e-goat feminist wannabes.


PERIOD!

It is evident that you do not understand the ideology behind it so I'll direct you to Misswrite's post. She has done justice to explaining it in the simplest terms.

I also gave some examples in response to the multiple B fella.

And when you say them, you need to be more specific because the only qualifying term you have used is nairaland /e blah blah.

I am on nairaland and I identify as a feminist. And I know lots of ladies on here who walk the talk. That debunks your claim.

shaybebaby:

Her delivery may be crude but there is smidgen of truth to some of her observations.

Miss write put it more aptly by calling it some sort of Stockholm syndrome. If men have historically been oppressors in this context, we STILL have some women who would rather cling on to patriarchy, they hate the imposition yet the status is like a blanket, it is familiar and to entertain the feminism argument would require a reassessment of everything they know and have been taught. Now we all know that the unfamiliar can be scary sometimes so sometimes one might choose to tread the path of predictability,what we know.

So if they still cling on patriarchy, ofcourse their opposition is based garnering approval from their masters which in turn boosts their self esteem.

So back to op, her use of "most" should have been "some", we no way of establishing her assertions as representative of that population.

Some of them are dick starved in the literal sense but so are some feminists as well. But if she meant it as seeking the approval of men, yes some women reject the idea because their existence is defined by what men expect from women (as stated by a lot of nairaland men for instance).

I will not generalise because I live the exception.

Bbbbbbbbbbbb:


Sis my point is we are gradually getting there. You have to agree with me when I say there has been much progress with regard's womens rights in Africa these past few years.

Equality needs (and takes) time. It took 703 years for the UK to progress from the Magna Carta (1215) to the first votes for women (1918). A further 57 years elapsed before the sexual discrimination act (1975). Since few African countries have been independent for more than 60 years, it is unsurprising women's legal and cultural status lags behind countries like the UK.

We dey try sha

So why are we here fighting? Feminism benefits everyone, both genders. If you don't believe me, ask my partner.

donstan18:

I believe you are learned.

Being able to detect someone who's isn't knowledgeable about something doesn't necessarily mean you know it.

Saying that your president isn't doing well doesn't necessarily mean you can do well if you go there.

Being able to know someone who isn't good on a course then in school doesn't necessarily mean you know the course.

Saying a man isn't strong doesn't mean you can beat the person.

I have been questioning ladies herein about feminism, none have been able to tell... NONE of them.

Ask them the reason for advocating and watch them flop.

Ask them how women are being cheated and watch them flop.

I still stand that what we have on Nland are e-goat feminist wannabes.


PERIOD!

so what u mean, for example, an art student will go around telling a science student he/she doesn't know chemistry That makes no sense!!!

MissWrite:

Chinwag soon.

shaybebaby:

It is evident that you do not understand the ideology behind it so I'll direct you to Misswrite's post. She has done justice to explaining it in the simplest terms.

I also gave some examples in response to the multiple B fella.

And when you say them, you need to be more specific because the only qualifying term you have used is nairaland /e blah blah.

I am on nairaland and I identify as a feminist. And I know lots of ladies on here who walk the talk. That debunks your claim.

I'v discussed and seen MissWrite discuss with people, she's smart, but not a biased, she can coat words to suit every party, that's why i don't want to go by her explanations, I need a raw, unapologetic and blunt lady to strike the explanation of what feminism is all about.

So, since you are a Nland feminist, i'll do well to disregard Misswrite's post for you as a feminist to tell me what feminism is all about.



What is feminism all about?

Shugavee:
so what u mean, for example, an art student will go around telling a science student he/she doesn't know chemistry That makes no sense!!!

What is your point?

donstan18:


What is your point?

read what u wrote then u would understand my point!!

[quote author=Shugavee post=65924754] so what u mean, for example, an art student will go around telling a science student he/she doesn't know chemistry That makes no sense!!![/quote
Don't know why but I found your analogy funny. ]

shaybebaby:

Her delivery may be crude but there is smidgen of truth to some of her observations.

Misswrite put it more aptly by calling it some sort of Stockholm syndrome. If men have historically been oppressors in this context, we STILL have some women who would rather cling on to patriarchy, they hate the imposition yet the status is like a blanket, it is familiar and to entertain the feminism argument would require a reassessment of everything they know and have been taught Now we all know that the unfamiliar can be scary sometimes so sometimes one might choose to tread the path of predictability,what we know.

So if they still cling on patriarchy, ofcourse their opposition is based garnering approval from their masters which in turn boosts their self esteem.

So back to op, her use of "most" should have been "some", we no way of establishing her assertions as representative of that population.

Some of them are dick starved in the literal sense but so are some feminists as well. But if she meant it as seeking the approval of men, yes some women reject the idea because their existence is defined by what men expect from women (as stated by a lot of nairaland men for instance).

I will not generalise because I live the exception.

@bolded where did misswrite call men oppressors. And where on earth did you get your logic that some women will rather clinch to the mentality of being oppressed because they don't support feminism idea of freedom.

Do you know the definition of freedom at all

Freedom is the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants.

Why do you feel your idea of freedom is golden.


Are you telling others how to think, speak and act?


Misswrite agreed that we have different opinions of freedom and oppression and every one should be left to make their own choice, but equal gender right(feminism) is a universally acknowledged freedom for women, which I countered.


@red
How exactly did you come to your conclusion. Is it safe to say since op unapologetically generalized with her assumption, she was simply looking for the approval of women

Do you know that op created a thread three days ago just to praise men for their financial support

Ok on a final note. I tried to be thorough in my research on feminism and looked up various sites but couldn't find the word 'MALE BASHING' anywhere. Also, I was amazed to see that not a single online source advocated any kind of inappropriate behaviour towards a particular gender in meeting the true objectives of feminism. So why there is so much of hatred around this particular word?

The answer to this question lies in 'perception'. It is our perception which makes this movement right or wrong.
A pseudo-feminist's or a fake feminist's perception is that demanding of rights at any cost is the core of feminism. The whole idea of feminism for this lot revolves around self-interest. But this should not be the case.

And for the other half of the lot, who is against feminism, every female demanding justice or standing against social injustice, is a pseudo-feminist, which should not be the case either.

I witnessed an incident in Birmingham where a female started fighting with a fellow commuter demanding him to get up and offer seat as it is her right, being a female. These types of incidences make me angry.

I believe in equality, equal opportunities and treating every other person with respect (if he/she deserves it). So when people use the term feminist in a negative sense, it upsets me so much. It makes me feel as if in the debate of 'for' and 'against' feminism, the word itself has lost its true meaning.

In the end, it is my request to each and every one, who is reading this, to be very broad in their perception. To not stereotype or criticize every other being for the actions of few, as there are many out their who are working for the actual cause, who are working to break the stereotypes revolving around feminism. Ciao

Shugavee:
read what u wrote then u would understand my point!!

I'v done that and still couldn't figure out your point.

So tell, what's your point, don't tell me you can't express.

donstan18:


I'v discussed and seen MissWrite discuss with people, she's smart, but not a biased, she can coat words to suit every party, that's why i don't want to go by her explanations, I need a raw, unapologetic and blunt lady to strike the explanation of what feminism is all about.

So, since you are a Nland feminist, i'll do well to disregard Misswrite's post for you as a feminist to tell me what feminism is all about.



What is feminism all about?

Why disregard it? I am in complete agreement with her. Typing epistle here is simply duplicating her brilliant effort.

If you have any critiques to make about any of the points she raised, bring it here and I'll get stuck in.

Bbbbbbbbbbbb:
Ok on a final note. I tried to be thorough in my research on feminism and looked up various sites but couldn't find the word 'MALE BASHING' anywhere. Also, I was amazed to see that not a single online source advocated any kind of inappropriate behaviour towards a particular gender in meeting the true objectives of feminism. So why there is so much of hatred around this particular word?

The answer to this question lies in 'perception'. It is our perception which makes this movement right or wrong.
A pseudo-feminist's or a fake feminist's perception is that demanding of rights at any cost is the core of feminism. The whole idea of feminism for this lot revolves around self-interest. But this should not be the case.

And for the other half of the lot, who is against feminism, every female demanding justice or standing against social injustice, is a pseudo-feminist, which should not be the case either.

I witnessed an incident in Birmingham where a female started fighting with a fellow commuter demanding him to get up and offer seat as it is her right, being a female. These types of incidences make me angry.

I believe in equality, equal opportunities and treating every other person with respect (if he/she deserves it). So when people use the term feminist in a negative sense, it upsets me so much. It makes me feel as if in the debate of 'for' and 'against' feminism, the word itself has lost its true meaning.

In the end, it is my request to each and every one, who is reading this, to be very broad in their perception. To not stereotype or criticize every other being for the actions of few, as there are many out their who are working for the actual cause, who are working to break the stereotypes revolving around feminism. Ciao

When I say these Nland e-goat feminists wannabes are not knowledgeable about what they are advocating for, I didn't just say that.

When I say that most of them are lesbians hiding under the shield of the word "Feminism" to indirectly declare their hate for men, I didn't just say that.

When I call them frustrated and confused ladies, I didn't just say that.

They only exist on social media where they can vomit all sort of poo in the name of advocating.

A Nland e-goat feminist once bragged of doing chores
A Nland e-goat feminist insulted her fellow woman of marital status because she didn't support her opinion.
A Nland e-goat feminist created a thread about broke guys when she should be hustling to depend on herself.
A Nland e-goat feminist declared herself ORI AMU

I asked a Nland e-goat feminist how women are being oppressed in our society , she started crying that glo sacked all the women in their company, she started typing about chemical and mechanical engineering courses

Now tell, how on earth do you expect me to agree that these Nland feminists are not dunce and dullard

shaybebaby:

Chinwag soon.

Looking forward to it, babe..