₦airaland Forum

PrettySleek:
My dear, life is not a straight line o, u think that marrying someone who is comfortable is so plain like black and white. U think financial security is d number one priority? Many ladies have missed their chance at happiness because they couldn't 'settle for less'. If God says u will a rich or poor person, there is nothing u can do about it. My father was not rich when he married my mother, but d case is different today. Anyway am not going to waste time trying to make u see reason with me or trying to accept ur opinion. I believe u hv heard of d saying ' different strokes for different folks' I pray u get what u want in life, because only then will u 'wake up' good luck!

Flowers95:
Darling, true happiness can only be found in yourself. The truth is that no relationship that can be perfect. You might marry a broke man who will never give you happiness. The fact that you’re suffering may eventually make you unhappy. You may marry a rich man who makes you unhappy. Everybody must have flaws and there’s nothing like a perfect marriage. However you must priotize the last long factors that will benefit yourself and children first. Whatever you belive that to be is your choice.

I also pray that God will touch your heart so you can make decisions based on logic and not emotions. It is well. I have made all the decisions in my life that have benefited myself and my family, I hope you can do so too.

Flowers95:
Darling, true happiness can only be found in yourself. The truth is that no relationship that can be perfect. You might marry a broke man who will never give you happiness. The fact that you’re suffering may eventually make you unhappy. You may marry a rich man who makes you unhappy. Everybody must have flaws and there’s nothing like a perfect marriage. However you must priotize the last long factors that will benefit yourself and children first. Whatever you belive that to be is your choice.

I also pray that God will touch your heart so you can make decisions based on logic and not emotions. It is well. I have made all the decisions in my life that have benefited myself and my family, I hope you can do so too.

Flowers95:
I’ve had my own money since 21 my love, I have and will always be financially capable to take care of myself. My husband knows this, but still takes on the job of being the man by providing for myself. We’ve been married for a long time my dear, nothing to be pitiful about. We’re happy over here, he’s going nowhere I just wish you young ladies would wisen up.

PrettySleek:
That's y we are different, good luck.

TheUpsetGirl:
he needs to be educated on the importance of feminism

Flowers95:
No he doesn’t my dear because he’s a man and he’s not trying to compete with his wife.

TheUpsetGirl:
men and women are equal.
stop deceiving yourself

your husband has two legs and two hands, same thing applies to you.

stop being a dependent leech

TheUpsetGirl:
There’s a new trend on social media and it’s really pissing us off: memes and quotes that encourage girls and women to date guys who are flat broke and “hold them down” until they come into their own.

It would be one thing if the memes focused on dating someone who’s your equal. Or if they encouraged men to date women who are down on their luck, too. But no. All they do is tell women that we shouldn’t expect a guy to take us out to dinner. We should be happy with someone who only has a few bucks to his name

. We shouldn’t have the audacity to expect a dinner date. And if we do expect a guy to be financially stable — not rich — that makes us gold diggers.

Well, it’s bull shít.

But there’s nothing wrong with expecting your dude to have a job and at least enough cash to take you out to dinner once in a while.

Lord knows guys standards for women are much higher than that.

I can’t even believe this needs to be said, but women
and girls: you don’t have to date broke men. It’s okay for you to hold out for someone who’s at the same level of success as you are.

Ladies are allowed to set a standard for access to them. And that doesn’t mean a broke guy is undeserving of love or that some relationships don’t form outside of traditional dates.

But so often lately, women are shamed for having the preference of dating a financially stable guy. And it’s ridiculous.

Oh, and did you ever notice no one ever faults a guy for wanting to date a lady who’s employed, successful, or attractive? Why are guys allowed to have standards when ladies aren’t?

Wanting a date that consists of more than just splitting a Four for Four doesn’t make you a gold digger.

So-called gold diggers have higher aspirations than a dinner date, anyway. They aren’t even looking at the average guy, and yet the average man is scared of running into a gold digger.

Other ladies also enforce the idea that we shouldn’t need a man who has his own money. I see about eighty posts a day on nairaland from fellow ladies like, “You really need a rich guy?can't you work for your cash?” It’s insulting that if you desire a man who can take you out to dinner, someone would assume you don’t have your own or you’re just using him.

When you cut down other women for participating in dating culture,you look like a coward to me.
When we ask women to settle for financially unstable guy,

we make it seem like their need for a romantic partner should outweigh any standards they have.

We’re told to accept anyone who falls in love with us,

to “hold him down” just to say we did, but our value isn’t tied to whether or not we secure a relationship.

Women who are striving to be the best version of themselves don’t need to settle for men with no idea what their best self would even look like. We don’t need to settle, period.

It’s okay not to commit yourself to the potential of someone. You can hope that they catch up to where you are, but they might not. You can’t wait to find that out ten years down the line. You can’t carry someone to their next level just because they promise you a future that might not even happen.

Work on making yourself a better person, not making your dude a better person. You deserve someone who is your equal from the start. Claim it.

Flowers95:
Women are never broke. We are not defined by our pockets, Understand that. Men need to stop being disheartened about women having standards for men. Work hard and be the best version of yourself or don’t say anything at all young man. Being financially poor is not attractive to anybody, even if that woman “loves” you. She will leave you/ cheat on you for somebody who can provide more for her. Simple as ABC. Accept it.

Flowers95:
Women are never broke. We are not defined by our pockets, Understand that. Men need to stop being disheartened about women having standards for men. Work hard and be the best version of yourself or don’t say anything at all young man. Being financially poor is not attractive to anybody, even if that woman “loves” you. She will leave you/ cheat on you for somebody who can provide more for her. Simple as ABC. Accept it.

Flowers95:
if he’s not willing to give 1 kobo to any female, then yes he should remain a bachelor for life. In reality, things just do not work that way.

Flowers95:
I see

I gladly have my own money, very much independent, since 21. However I knew that I would never settle for a man who wasn’t willing to take care of me. I knew that even though I had my own money, I would never settle for a sorry excuse of a man. And I met a man who could take care of me and do much more. More women should go after what they want, and stop feeling bad for what they deserve.

Flowers95:
Darling, true happiness can only be found in yourself. The truth is that no relationship that can be perfect. You might marry a broke man who will never give you happiness. The fact that you’re suffering may eventually make you unhappy. You may marry a rich man who makes you unhappy. Everybody must have flaws and there’s nothing like a perfect marriage. However you must priotize the last long factors that will benefit yourself and children first. Whatever you belive that to be is your choice.

I also pray that God will touch your heart so you can make decisions based on logic and not emotions. It is well. I have made all the decisions in my life that have benefited myself and my family, I hope you can do so too.

Kimcutie:

TheUpsetGirl:
dude what's wrong with your site??

it keep showing page not found

Kimcutie:
Am working on a new site for the forum, currently the site is a blog, that's why it's showing "Page not found" am really sorry for the inconvenience, I will notify you when am done because the forum will be at a new URL

ImaIma1:
The one that gets me is when guys ask if they must spend in a relationship. Off course!!! No relationship can survive without money being spent. And is it only the lady that will be doing the spending?

My hubby wasn't rich when we were dating but he must get me a gift every month no matter how small. Mt special gifts for him are always thought through and memorable.

Many guys these days do not have the giving mentality. They feel every girl is a gold digger even if they dont have the gold for her to dig.

If you cannot spend at all, don't bother dating. I am not talking about taking over responsibility as her father or benefactor but the thoughtful things you give that make her know you care.

Ladies should also learn to give...not just boxers and singlet but meaningful stuffs.If you love, you give

TheUpsetGirl:
just add all the features it lacked the first time.. all those //stuffs remove them abeg