₦airaland Forum

Renegadd:
35 to 40 is good age to get married and have kids.
Leonardo DiCaprio is 43 and not married, Lionel Richie got married and had his first child at 45 . he's 70 now and his child is 25 .Donald Trump's son is 12 years old and Donald trump had him at 58. Michael Jackson had his first child at 40. Quincy Jones had a his first child at 40. He's 85 now and his son is 45

DonPiiko:
Biacan does marriage gist interest you? Aren't you too young?

greiboy:
in Nigeria that I grew up in

@Early


20s boy/men

Most can hardly get a girlfriend, most are broke with the exception of those from wealthy family, majority are in university. A huge number opt for the self service option.

Ladies
Most don't want to date their mates, most have high standards and believe they will end up with very rich prince charming. The majority of them hold great expectations for their futures

@Mid to late 20s

Men

Most are just getting laid now . Some are finding financial freedom. Majority are just having first relationships and first set of assets to call their own

Women

Most have now suffered countless heart breaks. Some are lucky to be married and won't stop flaunting their marriage status at the founts of the majority unmarried ones. Society and parents will begin to apply pressure on most to settle down. Some might start regretting actions they took in the their early 20s

Early 30s

Men

A huge number are now financially stable. Some might have settled down by now. Majority are feeling the pressure to settle down. Some are still reeling from heart breaks and feel they can't trust women again. Some have become playboys because of the relationship opportunities their new found financial status have afforded them.

Women
Some have become desperate to settle down as a consequence of societal pressures. Some have grown thick skin and have decided not to settle down again. Majority is now married but not all the married ones are glad.

biacan:
I tell you Chief that's one the things that I'm scared off after watching my friends marriage crumble before my own eyes.....but for the fact that I'm still young doesn't mean I should just jump at any man all in the name of marriage...... sometimes I ask my mom why can't a lady live her life in peace without getting married.... she took me the priest in our church for deliverance

DonPiiko:
I don't think I will get married anytime soon any longer, I am just all about enjoying myself. Someday we hope we get things right.

pocohantas:
So men have finally agreed that they could be under pressure?
There is hope for we evening newspapers then.

Y'all will marry us last last

IamaNigerianGuy:
Baby mama would actually be the perfect solution all round except for the effect it has on the children. Nothing compares to being born in a complete family

MhizzAJ:
For all i care i can't get married to someone that i'm not physically attracted to so everyone isn't a potential spouse to me and marriage isn't a do or die affair

I don't need a man to make me complete

biacan:
Chief Noooo mba you're not getting any younger look for a nice lady and get married..... me that I'll be clocking 22 this year I'm already starting to get worried
How is work.....?




#SUGARDADDY

pocohantas:
No o, some cheedren in one section said men don't face pressure.
I don't wanna mention their usernames, but they know themselves sha.

Chai! E bad like that? Anyway, I am just happy to discover there is hope for us. We are together in this

MhizzAJ:
For all i care i can't get married to someone that i'm not physically attracted to so everyone isn't a potential spouse to me and marriage isn't a do or die affair

I don't need a man to make me complete

greiboy:
in Nigeria that I grew up in

@Early


20s boy/men

Most can hardly get a girlfriend, most are broke with the exception of those from wealthy family, majority are in university. A huge number opt for the self service option.

Ladies
Most don't want to date their mates, most have high standards and believe they will end up with very rich prince charming. The majority of them hold great expectations for their futures

@Mid to late 20s

Men

Most are just getting laid now . Some are finding financial freedom. Majority are just having first relationships and first set of assets to call their own

Women

Most have now suffered countless heart breaks. Some are lucky to be married and won't stop flaunting their marriage status at the founts of the majority unmarried ones. Society and parents will begin to apply pressure on most to settle down. Some might start regretting actions they took in the their early 20s

Early 30s

Men

A huge number are now financially stable. Some might have settled down by now. Majority are feeling the pressure to settle down. Some are still reeling from heart breaks and feel they can't trust women again. Some have become playboys because of the relationship opportunities their new found financial status have afforded them.

Women
Some have become desperate to settle down as a consequence of societal pressures. Some have grown thick skin and have decided not to settle down again. Majority is now married but not all the married ones are glad.

pocohantas:
So men have finally agreed that they could be under pressure?

DonPikko:
check your pm

Espada10:
Lol
It is like our Nairaland poco is on her period.
Changing like the weather

Espada10:
Lol

It is like our Nairaland poco is on her period.

Changing like the weather

MhizzAJ:
For all i care i can't get married to someone that i'm not physically attracted to so everyone isn't a potential spouse to me and marriage isn't a do or die affair

I don't need a man to make me complete

Toks2008:
In our early 20s we usually have all the time in the world to date and engage in romance with the opposite sex,we care less about their persona,background and intentions...often times we take for granted the very ones who sincerely desire us because at that point,commitment is the least of our worries.

Its also amazing to know that in most cases,we tend to fall in love deeply at that point in our lives when we never planned for it.

But as we grow older and we get into our 30s without any commited affair, we suddenly realize its no longer as easy as it was when we were far younger and we try to be very careful not to make mistakes and by so doing we make things even more difficult and complicated for ourselves....

Unfortunately at this stage,many subliminally develop gamophobia(fear of getting married) because there is no more time for long courtship and you don't want to marry who you don't really know,every person that looks attractive to us is a potential spouse...men see ladies at this stage as desperados. Most guys at this stage get confused and ladies at this stage become impatient and any affair running into a year or more makes them uncomfortable.

The pressure starts building from parents,friends,family members and even the social media dares not know you are single. Then we try to console ourselves with phrases such as.."Marriage is not a do or die thing,marriage is not for everyone" "it's better to remain single than rush into wrong marriage"....

The simple truth is that in most cases from a certain age, the more we advance in years,the more difficult it becomes to get married and the more careful we try to be,the more complicated it gets but only the singles at 30 upwards can understand this.

My advise to anyone in this situation is that once you see someone you feel any form of attraction to,drop your fears,do a quick due diligence on that person and if you are comfortable with your findings just take the risk and dare the consequence because no matter how long you wait and no matter how careful you may be,you can never be too sure of that person until you start living under the same roof as a couple and there is no good or bad choice of spouse but what we have is your choice and what you make out of it.

Don't know if this makes sense.

MhizzAJ:
For all i care i can't get married to someone that i'm not physically attracted to so everyone isn't a potential spouse to me and marriage isn't a do or die affair

I don't need a man to make me complete

chronique:
We have never denied being under pressure. I as a person, usually avoid being part of any public discussion about marriage cos before we talk small, one of my big headed humans would bring me into the topic and next thing,na me go be topic of discussion. So many people you knew from way back, run into you and ask how is madam and the kids. You make a mistake in letting them know madam and kids are nowhere to be found, and you automatically bring up a topic for discussion. The easiest way out is to laugh sheepishly and say they are fine. Your parents also put you under pressure... It's same way for guys and girls.

chronique:
Pls,always compare apples to apples and not pineapples. The people you mentioned are people in countries where they do not need to struggle like we do in Nigeria, to make ends meet.

eghuan1:
Funny you brought this up. I was driving some days ago and some policemen stopped me somewhere and where asking how's madam. I didn't know how to answer the question. So one if them looks at me and says, e be like Oga never marry o. And his colleagues were like, which kind joke be that? Then one said to me, Oga Wetin you de wait for? I replied say I de find better person and he laughed for sometime.
He came to my side and said you no go go village go find one small girl give belle? Oga no look all these Lagos girls o. Na Wetin I do o.
When I left them, I set up a project, just like those pastors that saw thunder and thought God is speaking to them, "project one year". Get a better accommodation, arrange my life and set a trap, anyone who falls into the trap, drag her to mumsy.

Project to be delivered latest July next year.

chronique:
Lol. E no easy.

DoTheNeedful:
I have an uncle who had his first child at 45. He is 86 now and his first son is 41. He is the only surviving of his siblings. I think I agree partly with @Renegadd.
I remember my old uncle saying he feels young. He is also IT savvy in his own little way.

RuthDaniels:
[b]Societal rules are mostly the reasons why people get married these days, Most people in their last thirties are pressured by thoughts of "when will you get married "? "what will people say"? "All my younger ones are married, when will I?". All these thoughts have led people astray.

Left to me, I believe an individual shouldn't be pressured into marriage. Yes you are getting old, people are asking questions but if you think deep, you will realize that these people won't be in the marriage with you. They will also blame you, call you names if you marriage fails, so why listen to them in the first place?

That said, Not everyone we see is a potential spouse, Never base your relationship or marriage on attractions alone! Compatibility and friendship matters a lot. Because there comes a time in marriage mostly after ten years when the test comes. Then only compatibility ,commitment and friendship holds the marriage. Groom your relationship, build your courtship, know yourselves then walk down the aisle. it is better to be late than be late! [/b]