eyinjuege:


But you think its alright for him to open a company without her knowledge? and he's never even mentioned it to her in passing till she found out by chance.
Is he being transparent?
That would set off alarm bells in any right thinking person's mind. I don't blame her, as nobody likes to be used. She's only human afterall.

if at all he's not transparent, she should be talking to him (mad even) and not us.....

trapQ:
Please, pay no attention to those who called you names saying you've disrespected Nigerians or your husband. You have not in any way said so and neither have you implied that he's a scammer.

However, I personally think you're being scammed. That's how I see it from this perspective.

hhmmmm, and it took him 8years to do

Morwendy:
I sincerely apologise to those of you who believe that I am not telling it as it is but I have actuallytold it exactly as it is. I do not think any less of Nigerians than I do of tbe English and just wanted to know about the name change. FYI, I'm 52, he's 49. No children though he has always treated my younger ones as his own. He's an Igbo from Owerri. His surname is an English surname. Yes the English do take their fathers name which is what confuses me - his grandfather had an English surname yet his fathers didn't

However, as my question has caused so much offence, I will leave it there. Good evening and thankyou.

Oh and no, I'm not a whale. I'm also not wealthy.

Do not expect honest replies from Nigerians.

They simply support the patriarchy. Anything a man does must be right. A woman is always suspicious. Even one with legitimate reasons to be.

Being on this website has helped many of us understand that.

Why should people answer different names to their parents and grandparents? How can people change names so easily? Is it legal?

It is very possible here in Nigeria, example, my grandfather name is my surname which is the same with my Dad but the rest of my siblings surname is my father's name example my grandfather's name is Ehigiator and my father's name is Joseph so my full name reads: Dickson Ehigiator and my father's is Joseph Ehigiator but my siblings are Edison Joseph and same applies to the rest of them.
Hope that could help.

quote author=Morwendy post=67538758]Hi. New here but have read threads for years til now and I just have a simple question to ask . Ok, I know how dim I sound but I married my Nigerian husband 8 years ago. Next week, we apply for his permanent leave to remain here. We've been happy enough since we got married, the usual ups and downs but nothing too serious. Anyway, I found that he has a website advertising a business in Nigeria. Asked him about it and he says yes its his but its not up and running yet (like thats why I was mad at him rather than because he set ghis up without even telling me). I was looking at some photos on his site and I came across a poster laying out the days events for his fathers funeral. At the foot of the poster it says 'by [his name but different surname] on behalf of the family. Now, this new surname is the same as his fathers so I believe it to be his true name. Asked him about it and he says that his surname is different to the rest of his family because he chose to take his paternal grandfathers name. I assume his father should also bear the grandfathers name? He just keeps telling me that I don't understand Nigerian customs/traditions but now the word 'scammed' keeps popping into my head. A simple yes or no would be enough - is it usual for a man to NOT take his fathers name? Thanks in advance.[/quote]

That name on the burial poster is his real surname! Nonetheless, sometimes, the rigors associated with traveling to and residing in a foreign land, isn't always easy for some guys who ab initio, didn't understand how things work overseas. He may have departed from a country other than Nigeria. He may have had one or two issues which precipitated losing any of his vital documents or may have had deportation issues before. The world can never be a Utopia! Thus, do not expect everything perfect. If your guy is good to some extent, ignore other flaws and get him to bring you to Nigeria to do all the marriage rites and then help him regularize his papers with that name you saw on the burial poster. We love foreign women in Nigeria as we are not racists, like others. Congratulations!!

QueenSuccubus:



But that guy didn't go to court ... His sister done it on his behalf..

Seriously, i juz find it weird and honestly it's scary...

U just name the document in this world and just give me 1hr to get to oluwole.
I will come back with that document

Life is easy now

ipobarecriminals:
bia!Face one corner with dis ur evil plot.Let him born/have wife back home,that's not ur biz.U can as well help the op go his village go investigate.What nonsense. I dey vex ooo

. Nna nwoke a nwere nwaanyi ozo. E jighi igba agwa ocha nke ahu.

bujebudanu1:


U just name the document in this world and just give me 1hr to get to oluwole.
I will come back with that document

Life is easy now

Well, if that's the case..does it mean foreigners can get a Nigerian name as well?
Juz give u the docs & all done within an hour?

Most of my Family uses Ogundipe as their last name, I’m using my grandfather first as my last name, and surely my children are gonna use my first name. So no big deal

slysteel:
shut up there,what do you know? He set up a website without telling her and so effing what?

Its like the madness in your lineage has been inherited by you.
Go and use your medications quickly before you run out unclad and start biting people around

People change surname for different reason here, like my father chooses to be bearing their family surname but his younger one's choose to be bearing their Father name as their surname which now make my father surname different to his younger one surname but they are family nd blood bearing different surname. So to the issue of the surname u can pay no attention to that. OK
God will bless your marriage

QueenSuccubus:





Well, if that's the case..does it mean foreigners can get a Nigerian name as well?
Juz give u the docs & all done within an hour?

Which name do u like?

Morwendy:
Thanks but when I'm about to pay £2.5k for his leave to remain and hes been busy setting up his secret company in Nigeria, I think I may be permitted to think that when he's a permanent resident next month, he has plans to be changing things?

2500 British Pounds is such a huge amount to you.
What a pity. Nigerians spend more than to buy just a bottle of wine in the club. It's not your fault anyway, it is the devilish government after government that the country has been under, which have been making Nigerians to run abroad for greener pastures. If not, a poor girl like you will not be insulting my brethren and asking him for his forefathers' names because of a token 2500 pounds. Now, send me your account number, I want to refund your 2500 British Shiit.

Morwendy:
Long story. He was in the Uk when I met him 10 years ago. He was arrested by border agency for being an overstayer BUT after 2 years of legal battles, border agency admitted they got it wrong, that he had been granted a visa to stay for 3 years but they lost his passport and he'd never chased them for it. To get a new Nigerian passport, he had to get his sister to send his national id card from Nigeria and that gave the name we're married under. (Mystified how she got him a new ID card but says she paid officials and they gave it to her). So apart from the new ID card and the new passport, no other documents.

meanwhile most people here are just kids still being taken care of by there parensts so be careful the type of advice you receive from them,plenty of them knows next to nothing about anything.

Secondly,there is nothing wrong in setting up a website for a business he plans to start in future without letting you know,the business has not started yet,most of us living abroad also have business home,he only setup a webite and that doesn't imply he is hiding business from you.

Once again,there is nothing wrong with his surname of choice,Nigerians do that all the time but most of all,you are the problem,you are feeling insecured,you are the very person endangering your marriage with your thought process all because you have succumbed to a stereotype about Nigerians.

QueenSuccubus:



But that guy didn't go to court ... His sister done it on his behalf..

Seriously, i juz find it weird and honestly it's scary...

Nowhere in the write up does it say his sister changed his name for him - she did his ID

Morwendy:
Long story. He was in the Uk when I met him 10 years ago. He was arrested by border agency for being an overstayer BUT after 2 years of legal battles, border agency admitted they got it wrong, that he had been granted a visa to stay for 3 years but they lost his passport and he'd never chased them for it. To get a new Nigerian passport, he had to get his sister to send his national id card from Nigeria and that gave the name we're married under. (Mystified how she got him a new ID card but says she paid officials and they gave it to her). So apart from the new ID card and the new passport, no other documents.

what do you want? Why are you looking for wahala where there is none. Take note, when the sh!t hits the fan, it will spread.

BornAgainMay:


Foolish girl, is it your business

Don't be foolish. This is a public forum. It is her business.

Scammers like you would love to protect other scammers.

Like as if it is not true that Nigerians do arranged marriages just to stay abroad.

If he is not scamming the poor lady why is she hearing about a different surname for the first time after 8 years of marriage?

cc: Morwendy

Morwendy:
Hi. New here but have read threads for years til now and I just have a simple question to ask . Ok, I know how dim I sound but I married my Nigerian husband 8 years ago. Next week, we apply for his permanent leave to remain here. We've been happy enough since we got married, the usual ups and downs but nothing too serious. Anyway, I found that he has a website advertising a business in Nigeria. Asked him about it and he says yes its his but its not up and running yet (like thats why I was mad at him rather than because he set ghis up without even telling me). I was looking at some photos on his site and I came across a poster laying out the days events for his fathers funeral. At the foot of the poster it says 'by [his name but different surname] on behalf of the family. Now, this new surname is the same as his fathers so I believe it to be his true name. Asked him about it and he says that his surname is different to the rest of his family because he chose to take his paternal grandfathers name. I assume his father should also bear the grandfathers name? He just keeps telling me that I don't understand Nigerian customs/traditions but now the word 'scammed' keeps popping into my head. A simple yes or no would be enough - is it usual for a man to NOT take his fathers name? Thanks in advance.

It's nothing really. I have different surname from my entire family. The part where I think you should ask serious question is the secret part. He should come all out and lay everything bear to you on the table. Couples should not be keeping secrets

Morwendy:
Hi. New here but have read threads for years til now and I just have a simple question to ask . Ok, I know how dim I sound but I married my Nigerian husband 8 years ago. Next week, we apply for his permanent leave to remain here. We've been happy enough since we got married, the usual ups and downs but nothing too serious. Anyway, I found that he has a website advertising a business in Nigeria. Asked him about it and he says yes its his but its not up and running yet (like thats why I was mad at him rather than because he set ghis up without even telling me). I was looking at some photos on his site and I came across a poster laying out the days events for his fathers funeral. At the foot of the poster it says 'by [his name but different surname] on behalf of the family. Now, this new surname is the same as his fathers so I believe it to be his true name. Asked him about it and he says that his surname is different to the rest of his family because he chose to take his paternal grandfathers name. I assume his father should also bear the grandfathers name? He just keeps telling me that I don't understand Nigerian customs/traditions but now the word 'scammed' keeps popping into my head. A simple yes or no would be enough - is it usual for a man to NOT take his fathers name? Thanks in advance.

It is very possible. Cultures vary. My friend and his wife bear his maternal fathers name, different from his sibbings who bear their paternal fathers name.

you've been married for 8years ..that's long enough to trust your man. in Nigeria its possible to answer your matarnal or parternal surname. the ijaws and itshekiris does that. even my elder brother that started having kids didn't let his kids answer our long used surnmame.....instead he opted for my dads first name to be his kids surname. so lovingly ask ur husband of 8 yrs the reason for his change of name. in naija we say 8 years no be beans o

illegalking:
Mr. Woman, to be sincere you are only dragging an unnecessary issue, why? Things don't work the way it is over there here. I know it is an issue to address that is in your country but believe me he means no harm and it's not intentional he had mixed it up while here so all he need to do now is a proper change of name.. You are thinking scam? Does it mean for over 10 years you are the one still financing him? Na una sabi oo

Simply suggest a legal change of name to him if he rejects without a very good reason, abeg go buy divorce paper, wait what are you divorcing no be you they sponsor the man? Just get him arrested lol..

What is wrong with some of you people sef? Imagine!

eyinjuege:


Its like the madness in your lineage has been inherited by you.
Go and use your medications quickly before you run out unclad and start biting people around

Insipid cretin,if you are not dumb how does a website for a business he intends to setup in future means he is scamming her? Dumb fellas like you just go about talking crap all the time without reason,your own no be madness,you no just get sense..

efighter:


2500 British Pounds is such a huge amount to you.
What a pity. Nigerians spend more than to buy just a bottle of wine in the club. It's not your fault anyway, it is the devilish government after government that the country has been under, which have been making Nigerians to run abroad for greener pastures. If not, a poor girl like you will not be insulting my brethren and asking him for his forefathers' names because of a token 2500 pounds. Now, send me your account number, I want to refund your 2500 British Shiit.

You are a fool for saying this bro/sis
How many have you bought with d token £2500

Morwendy:
I sincerely apologise to those of you who believe that I am not telling it as it is but I have actuallytold it exactly as it is. I do not think any less of Nigerians than I do of tbe English and just wanted to know about the name change. FYI, I'm 52, he's 49. No children though he has always treated my younger ones as his own. He's an Igbo from Owerri. His surname is an English surname. Yes the English do take their fathers name which is what confuses me - his grandfather had an English surname yet his fathers didn't

However, as my question has caused so much offence, I will leave it there. Good evening and thankyou.

Oh and no, I'm not a whale. I'm also not wealthy.

Did the children not come because you guys agreed to it? If yes then no need to fear, if no he probably is under pressure to get a new wife at home so he can have children. One fact I want you to hold dear is that he loves you very well. Lay your fears to him, you need to clear up your mind. As for the name, majority of Igbos use their grand father's name as surname. My wife uses my middle name but my kids is going to use my own fathers name. We often do that as mark of respect for our father. As a matter of fact, its the new generation of wives that influenced men to use their own name as their kids surname, it wasn't so few decades ago.

slysteel:
Insipid cretin,if you are not dumb how does a website for a business he intends to setup in future mwas he is scamming her? Dumb fellas like you just go about talking crap all the time without reason,your own no be madness,you no just get sense..

Go and use your medications, and stop using the recreational drugs you're on. It will only worsen your psychosis. While at it, cut down your alcohol intake.
Your village people have obviously exchanged your brain matter for poo.

miriamchi:
Chill pls..I'm only trying to help a fellow woman sort out her fears and trust issues..You can't completely rule out the fact that she could be on d right path at d end of d day.

It's fine to "help". But to pay so as to be helped is something else.

No hard feelings babe. It just seems not the right moment to "pay" for that.

mavinc4u:


. Nna nwoke a nwere nwaanyi ozo. E jighi igba agwa ocha nke ahu.

Na so una go dey exhibit una stupidity everywhere una go,Ndi igbo,ndi apari,ana akogheri..

thesicilian:

On a more serious note, it seems to me that with every comment you make, you're deliberately weaving a fictitious story that would lead everyone to conclude he's a gold digger and you are the innocent white 'maga'.
Although why you'd go through all that trouble, I do not know. Could it be loneliness, insomnia, or lack of attention?!

Did the poster state she’s white ? Just asking

Morwendy:
I don't think he's a gold digger, we both work hard for what we have and that has never been an issue. I just wonder how he has his grandfathers name (paternal not maternal) and a business that I didnt know about. He has no property that I'm aware of until his fathers passing recently but he doesnt have documents for his fathers properties yet. No documents until he got the ID card just before we married.

Aunty, please stop digging so u don't rope ur hussy in the hands of the authority.
We do all sort of things to be able to live abroad. Sometimes it involves falsification of documents. That woman u are calling his sister may even be his Nigerian wife who had had children with him.
As for documentation, hmm, we hardly do that here. People own properties without officially documenting them. So if you are looking for documents, u may not find it.
But this is what I think. You are just paranoid for no reason. U are married for 8 years, yet u haven't made any feeble attempt at doing a background check on him? Now u are using differences in surname as excuse for accusing him? That's not even the issue. Change of surnames is common practice here. But the real issue is.. You are speculating. Using guess work. I think marriage is too important for u to act on mere haunches. Marriage is not a do or die affair. If u are no longer comfortable with him, just file a divorce. These sort of investigations are not healthy. That was how a white lady murdered her nigerian husband last year. Or u are probably not going to be content till u send the guy to jail. If you know what it takes to get a visa from here, you will definitely sympathise with ur hussy and not bringing his case up here at the social media court of justice.

bujebudanu1:


Which name do u like?

Let me think about it...I want a name that is not hard to spell tho

5thElement:


Don't be foolish. This is a public forum. It is her business.

Scammers like you would love to protect other scammers.

Like as if it is not true that Nigerians do arranged marriages just to stay abroad.

If he is not scamming the poor lady why is she hearing about a different surname for the first time after 8 years of marriage?

cc: Morwendy

Using a different surname doesn't make him a scammer.Nigerians change surnames for lots of reasons. The woman has made it clear that they both work for their money, so the guy here isn't dependent on her. She also said she is not a whale so what does he want to scam her for? These are people living together as husband and wife for 8years. Tell me the dude wants to get another wife back home and u will be making sense. However, scam? It's a capital no

Now, this new surname is the same as his fathers so I believe it to be his true name. Asked him about it and he says that his surname is different to the rest of his family because he chose to take his paternal grandfathers name. I assume his father should also bear the grandfathers name? CosmoCarParts