₦airaland Forum

thedio:
Guy stop bragging wit ur fat bank account while chatting with ladies

ModelX:
No one's about to get married to your fake dependent asș anyway. Not anytime soon.
Working class indeed. Pretentious lot.

fancy4eve:
u hv heaven nd earth nd u cn not share wit ur luv ones, wats d essence of u hvn dem.

D way guys re tagging gals broke is sumtin I still don't understand, if u know u can not afford 2 take gud care of ur gal frwnd, den remain single nd stop tagging dem broke, bcus dey Neva asked 4 ur help, na u carry ur legs go ask dem out.

Hv seen so many ladies dat he been fending 4 dere boi frwnd, but u will not hear dem calln dere boi frwnd broke, but if a guy eventually spend up to 20k on a gal, tongues will start wagging. Believe it or not, we re not broke, rather we feel secured seeing or knowing dat our boy frwnd cares 4 us.

That3:
I don't mind spending on a lady i love if the money is there tho. The problem is that a lady with two parents like you and probably with better financial background will still be demanding all your worth. They don't mind seeing you suffer for their sake, They pass if off as true love and just keep demanding more. I see my friends, Brothers become wretched all because of one girl they probably won't end up together anyway. It pains me so much that i advoid serious relationship until i am really really financially gallant that i won't feel the pinch. The state i am right now i will rather spend on my sisters and mother than on one girl.

Either we both enjoy if the money is there or we both suffer. I will never be starved or wretched for a lady i haven't settled down with. Borrowing money to buy you phone so i will be drinking garri like i don't have used for money. As a man it is your duty to provide for your woman, But women these days are exploiting that duty. Seeing men as their ATM machines. If there is sex in the relationship it minimize the burden a little, At least Trade by barter. But how are you sure you are the only one she is giving the sex to? And most men doesn't want to marry a woman they have been sexing upanda, so the relationship at the end wouldn't even be a serious one.

Elder001:
poverty is a disease... chai

Imagine someone saying car doesn't add anything to her life.. na trekking go kill you
keep entering public buses you hear

franchasng:
my sister, with all due respect, I want to disagree with u, its not true. I don't know his financial status, but don't think or believe that because a guy raised this kind of question means he is broke, I will share my personal experience here for u and others to learn and reason with this op.

You know, I am born into normal Nigerian family; struggling family...grew up not having anything like girlfriend not until towards final year in school which ended when I went for NYSC due to financial issues; I couldn't cope with her financial demands with my NYSC allawee plus the distance, so we ended it against her wish though because she cried and begged but I couldn't continue; no money to foot your frequent requests, no money to transport u to and fro to come visit me in far away place I was serving, so there's no need to continue, we ended it after several dialogue failed. I really liked her cos she was so cute as in lol, and has manners but money, mba

During my NYSC, I met ladies from all tribes and class, thank God where I served lol. I met ladies from rich family who schooled abroad, I had so many options of ladies to date cos I was ladies' man during my NYSC even though I no fine

There was this Igbo chick from very rich family that came to NYSC with a driver, she so liked me and was just waiting for me to say; be my girlfriend, but there were many other chicks; Yoruba, Ibira, Hausa, etc that I was also close to and they were all waiting for me to pop the question, but because I tied myself again with NCCF (born again matter lol), I couldn't have the courage to start dating any.

But this Igbo chick was so into me, I was the only corper she talks with and hangs out with even during CDS. From our closeness, I got to discover she gets monthly upkeep of 100k from her rich parents, but guess what Sometimes she gulps this big money before month end and will be complaining to me....so I sat her down and we made a spending plan for her to cut down her expenses and I removed some unnecessary things from her to-do and to-have list, still who sai

There was this month her parents traveled for vac abroad and she gulped her upkeep before 16th of the month, so she ran to me, I shouted at her, scolded her, told her point blank that its wrong and totally unacceptable, she almost cried and even fell on my arms, I was tempted to begin kissing, I remembered my religious position, I held back and later made a transfer of 20k to her account, towards ending she repaid me though.

I observed her and noticed that I can't cope with her financial needs, so against fellow corpers and friends advice to date this girl o and marry her, I said never because only me knew what I was passing through

From my closeness to some of these ladies, I came to realize that this is a Nigerian women mentality and belief.

Now, back to op's lamentation lol and why I said he might not be broke like u said, I am going to use myself again as example.

Right now, I am not broke, I can't say if I am rich, I am far from it sha....but God is extremely awesome to me, and I am grateful....thats where I stand financially now....so I want to tell u my sister, at a point in every man's life, he do reflects on life, and this is one of the things he reflects on...especially when he is approaching 30yrs plus and still single and looking to settle down.

No reasonable guy with focus and big ambition desires to marry a liability or a financial baggage called a lady in the name of marriage, most that did it are regretting, I have such friends who made such mistakes and are regretting even though they are doing well financially.

My last ex that I nearly fell madly in love with, do u know why I broke up with her This demanding of a thing. Remember, I can foot all her bills, but cmon, its wrong for me considering I want to marry this lady na.

She's is this kind of hot lady that looks almost like Nadia Buari, from a rich family, working and above 26yrs, but she spends more than she earns and her parents are now retired; top civil servants as in directors with CBN and min of edu...

She doesn't ask for money though, but she is a fashionista, she can wear different super clothes everyday for one month...so the spending was on poor me lol...she will send me link of clothes from Jumia, Amazon (she knows my friends will help me get it and send cos I buy stuff a lot from Amazon). She will be like: "hun, check this out, dont u like it, I love it o, get it lets see how's gonna be on ya queen lol', and I couldn't turn down cos I really liked her, some out of say 10 links she sends, I may buy like 5 when in good mood.

It got to a point, I got tired after a friend met an Angel lady, a pretty doctor living in US, and this girl who even came from a poor family has awesome character, respect, manner, hardworking, gosh....I was swept away. Another friend met another angelic lady, as they told me about their lady and I saw with my korokoro eyes, I began to feel bad about my current relationship so I put a test, a financial test, my chick fell into the trap. She loved me yes, she was a virgin, even wanted me to de-v her, I refused cos I wanted to marry her and wanted her to keep it since we lived in far away cities, but i didn't consider all these, I quit angrily, she is still pleading to come back, but I have found another sha


This current one is very okay at the moment and being tipped for the final decision but I observing her on 3D. She seems cool-headed but I won't conclude until she passes all the tests I am about to set cos my childhood friends who are rich have been burnt, an uncle has been burnt too, close family members have, so I can't allow such in my and God will never allow me, baba God I beg o please have mercy, don't let me enter into an unfruitful marriage with a bad wife please father

itsmeurLady:
I don't need a dependent man like you Anywayz to come and frustrate me with your life... wats der to pretend about? Am I you? Na u dey feed me? See me oo ... if u are the only man in this world I'd probably not get married,I'd be a nun and the only person pretending here is you not me. The joke is on you Mr! Hehe
But wait oo, y are we having this conversation? The last time I checked I didn't mention you in my quote so y are u pained? Anywayz I see u have zero respect for ladies from the dirty comments u post here and at such, I won't even mince words with you anymore, Goodbye!

Elder001:
Guy.. go and date independent ladies
there are independent ladies everywhere

comshots:
Some guys can easily give out ₦5k to their girlfriends.But when their siblings or mother request such amount of money from them they will be frowning their faces or they will say they don't have it.

DanielsParker:
Mercy for her lol.
can't you see she's humble now.

Elder001:
LOL! it depends on the kind of people you roll with.


Date matured focused ladies that are above 28 and you'll agree with me.

sisisioge:
Haaa! You bought laptop too? Biko date me before you throw in the towel. Baby I need a laptop

RoyalBlak007:
"I seriously need a gf that will not
[color=#F5A215]ask me anything" [/color]

CAPSLOCKED:

YOU NEVER SEE ANYTHING.


WHEN THEY FINISH WITH YOU YOU'LL OPEN A BEGGING SPOT.... WHERE YOU'LL SIT WITH A SMALL BOWL BEGGING FOR ALMS.

londoner:
Have you given a thought that these ladies also don't want to be used? They also get approached my boys and men that look like they are in need and often turn out to be opportunists?

Some Nigerian men also use women. They've made an internationally known internet business out of it in fact.

Humility017:
may be I will try apply your advice....though I tried it sometimes...but that seems to be the end of the friendship.
one recently I meet on Facebook narrated all her financial problem to me.. and i replied her my own financial issues that I have no money for now....and that brought an end to our friendship.

franzeezco:
What do u expect before bruh? Many of them will only pretend to love u because of your Goodies, Once they notice you aren't dancing to their Tone financially. The way they will be ZOOM OFF like the speed of light will render u speechless lol....!!!

Elder001:
Funny thing is despite all these many talks..
Today some guys here will still pay house rent pay money for human hair.

Nigerian guys don suffer

Elder001:
I'm telling you... a friend of mine who married a liability in 2012 has sold his Hyundai.. someone that was fair before has turned black because of the burden

itsmeurLady:
No be fiancé you call am, Oga Marry first and see the change in her... Marry her first, I hope you don't come here and cry foul

BabiiKE:
Dependent girls hv needs. . Anyway, nowadays love and money go hand in hand.

itsmeurLady:
Brother try not to be too smart, working class ladies that are 28 and above that do not demand are desperate and they just don't want to lose their man and that's y they pretend not to be dependent. [s]Even you as a man, it gets to a point if she doesn't ask, you will be bothered[/s]... let's be honest with ourselves, it's when it becomes excessive that's when it's a problem.

yabas:
Honestly I dont even know where to start. I am tired of supporting girls financially. Since I started dating women, I cant say I have been lucky. Its always buy me this and buy me that. Phone, laptop, recharge cards, dash me, transport etc, I have done it all. Though when I recently started complaining, my close friend told me that he has also been doing same but didnt want to let guys know so that people will not laugh at him.

After all the expenditure, u still break up with them when you get tired of the demands. Does it mean that MAJORITY of Nigerian girls use guys for money? Or is it just me.

I seriously need a gf that will not ask me for anything. Some of my friends will tell you how they have dated one or two wonderful girls that dont demand for anything but not me, I cant point to any girl that I have dated, that I didnt spend money on.

Guys I honestly want to know if this is a general problem or is it just me. ALWAYS meeting poor women, even now that I am looking for a wife, still meeting heavy demanders that I cant settle with. GOD HELP ME OUT. AMEN.

Azam101:
Must it be 40k perf? just appreciate what ever she gives as gift!

Elder001:
Are their parents dead?

Izen:
First, let's get this out of the way - It's unrealistic to date someone that won't be comfortable enough to ask you for something without feeling judged. Naturally, you would want to give to someone you love.

That said, I feel you've been an enabler in this situation. A lot of ladies have the mindset that money is the only thing a Nigerian man can offer them and they may not be totally wrong. So if they're going to cook for you, clean up after you, do all kinds of stuff for you, they must get something in return. Trying to get our men to offer anything besides money in a relationship is as difficult as difficult can get. You might want to say but what do women offer too? Well, if you don't have expectations from your girlfriend such as, cook when they visit, wash your clothes, etc, then you might have a point. But if you do, well that's what they have to offer you. I know you want to say "I can do all these things by myself" but then you're not doing them by yourself and you will judge them if they don't do it for you.

Another reason why I think you might be an enabler is that a lot of men want to stamp their foot early on in a relationship to show who is in charge. We all know money speaks and it gives bargaining power to the holder. Subconsciously, a lot of men show off that they're more than capable and as such deserve respect. In turn, the ladies in their lives interpret that as them having a lot of money to throw around.

What to do;
1. Build your confidence in such a way that even without money, your woman will respect you still.
A trick is to respect your woman too, it works magic.
2. Be ready to offer something besides finances that will make your woman more than grateful.
E.g. she's got exams, stay up with her to revise her books, get her a cup of tea while at it. Little things like this go a long way, and it shows you care about her progress.

Moving on, while it is wrong for anyone to blackmail you emotionally to spend on them, being overtly stingy too is a red flag. If you're dating, it means there's a likelihood of you settling down together. No woman on earth will knowingly marry someone she has to plead with before the children's wardrobe are changed or school fees are paid. Giving is a habit that doesn't suddenly develop when you get married.

Finally, you may be looking in the wrong direction. A lot of men want "wife material". Naturally, any woman comfortable enough to be a wife material in the Nigerian context will also expect her man to be husband material in the Nigerian context, aka sole provider. If you feel strongly about the women in your life being demanding, then you might also have to change your expectations of them. I know a lot of ladies that will rather drop on their heads than ask their man for money. Because they're very concerned about being financially independent, the last thing on their minds will be trying to be a wife material.

Basically, any decision you make has it's pros and cons. So decide which is more important to you. We can't always eat our cake and have it.

Elder001:


Why should your girlfriend even cook or wash your clothes? even in marriage washing your clothes isn't anyone's duty.. cooking should be shared because she's not a slave.

now to your giving phase :I think money should only be spent in a relationship when you two are going for a date or you wanna get gifts for her ( I mean birthday gifts and Christmas gifts).

Then asking for money outside those stuffs, you shouldn't give her unless it's a very serious thing or she wanna use the money for a useful thing I. e business not useless stuffs like clothes, phones and weaves etc(she should get them by herself)

Izen:
Lol, finding a Nigerian man that thinks that way is like finding a needle in a haystack.
But I agree with you on dates and special/occasional gifts, anything outside that is stretching it. I don't even support the giving for business thingy except there's an agreement that expressly states you as an investor with rights to dividends, or can be eventually bought out. Then loans too are fine, but be sure this person will pay back sha o.