₦airaland Forum

Shiningmama:
So sorry for replying late, I've been so busy coupled with sickness. I was really sick for some weeks.
About my shop, I really want to bless God for his faithfulness.. got some people patronising me. At least for a start I am grateful to God.. though electricity is a major problem now.

EfemenaXY:
Been wondering where you've been.

Sorry to hear you were ill. Hope you're better now? Good to know things have started picking up for you. Small baby steps - and you WILL get there eventually. Well done.

Sounds like you need a small, portable generator though. How much does one cost, Shiningmama? And secondly, do you have a separate bank account for your business? One which no-one else but you has access to?
C

Shiningmama:
Happy New year

babeosisi:
Wow.
Memories,sweet memories.

djon78:
Wow longest time!! Babyosisi

Funjosh:
How sure are you that is Babyosisi

freshvine:
If you ladies doesn't stop this childish rants I will expose you all.

I have got dossiers on all of you.

The worst thing that can happen to a woman is marry a man she doesn't love passionately.
Marriage is tough especially the early years and there will be times you will feel like packing your bags and running away
Even marriages that started very well can sour over time when they are ill managed let alone one that started with a tone of uncertainty in one's voice.
From what you have written you do love this man but not enough to spend the rest of your life with him that is why you have those doubts and misgivings.

Let me use myself as an example
I was engaged to someone else before meeting my hubby,I have shared that many times
Very very handsome and romantic man
His family adored me,my folks loved him
Very kind and generous,would give his last dime to a stranger in need
Perfect gentleman


But he is a little too boisterous in nature and had some terrible table manners
Some people may say this is minor but it bothered me a lot

The last straw was at a wedding when he motioned servers a little too loudly to get us food,I was a little embarrassed,we were in a hotel and could easily go and get food.my husband will never ever do a thing like that never!!

To make matters worse when the food came,he opened the wrap of moi moi and licked the foil and I wanted the ground to swallow me ,and that was the day my spirit left the union

I couldn't marry him,I couldn't be with a man that would embarrass me.,I just couldn't take it coupled with the fact that he wanted to get into politics and I couldn't envision myself standing on a podium campaigning.

To some these were minor things,to me they were major

You said you are not compatible sexually,can you live with that all your life?
Bad kisser,can you manage that?
If you don't feel sexually attracted to this man I wouldn't advise you to continue
It won't work

When hard marital current strikes sometimes the sexual chemistry is what will take you over the hump and if it is lacking from day one,you may be swimming against the tide.
You should be madly in love at this stage if he is the one
It doesn't sound that way from what you wrote

EfemenaXY:
Great words of wisdom, Babyosisi.

(You did get me chuckling about his lack of table manners)

Anyway, in addition to what you've just written, I'd like to add that marriage has got it's troughs and peaks. There are times you get really good highs and there are times you get really low, lows. It's not something that can be avoided as life is never plain sailing. However, what does help (apart from having that great sexual chemistry), is if you have a friend in your partner when everything else is stripped off.

Someone who understands you without your having to spell everything out to him (and vice versa). Someone you can share your aspirations, dreams, fears, worries, happiness, and so on with. Also, the longer you've been married, the easier it gets, especially when you've gone past your 10th, 15th, 20th anniversary. You just sort of "grow into each other", and at that point in time, you look back at your earlier years of marriage with fondness and marvel at how inconsequential now, many things were such a big deal to you both then.

Yes, it's never going to be a bed of roses, nor a smooth frictionless path. It's quite the opposite and akin to that proverbial garden that you've just got to keep tending to, else weeds would creep in and choke the life out of it, if neglected.

Marriage can be as hellish or as beautiful as you want it to be. You've just got to have a common goal (both parteners) and work towards achieving it.

Now this, is my Valentine's message.

Happy Valentine's to everyone.