₦airaland Forum

onyenzuzu:
@1×2×3 reply me if her surname ends with oh

Tallesty1:
They're not the only available options ni. There are girls out there who are not baby mamas and have not done any abortion so we go for them instead.

You young ladies clearly don't understand the problems that are associated with marrying a single a parent.

Single parents tend to love the child they had for that other person more than the ones they will have with you because the see that child as a consolation for all the things s/he passed through in the hands of the other person

This creates division among children and causes frequent misunderstanding between the couple too.

I'm not generalizing though but we need to accept the reality.

Xisnin:
Their is no tactics here, the op is the complainant! He needed validation to show that he is making the right decision.

1x2x3:
she's with me because I'm very cool headed and introverted. There has been occasions I needed to just travel just change environment but she would object as long as she isn't chanced to go with me and I respect her decision. This is the very first time I objected about her traveling and she boldly told me she will go and face the consequences. That's not a woman being under a man, it's a woman giving orders but won't take any.

CecyAdrian:
They always want women they can control, who will look the other way when they cheat. Men are scared of women who dare. Who ask questions and try to behave like them, they term such women as bad women who shouldn't be married

1x2x3:
I'm sorry I'm saying this and it hurts my heart to agree with the warnings of marrying a single mother. I'm not the best writer but I will try to narrate my experience and findings.

First of all I would like to point out that there are very few single mothers who can make a good wife while majority of them will ruin you and make your life miserable if caution is not taken.

I've been dating a single mother of a 5 years old boy for about a year and half she is 30 and never been married. I wouldn't just jump into such relationship but for the fact she is someone I knew back in my School days however, we lost contact for about 10 years before we met again and I kind of understood the story she told me and the circumstances she had the child (Till date I didn't bother verifying her story of course I don't care).

We dated for about a year and she got talking with a few of my friends and sibling but the striking thing is she is yet to introduce me to any of her friends or siblings even though I knew she have many siblings and some friends (I did question her about this and she said she doesn't have someone she can really call a friend).

Looking at the kind of reserved life she lives I felt this could be normal but still something kept telling me there's more to these whole pretentious reserved life because I'm introverted and can easily figure out who's pretending to be one. Mind you, she is the church going type who prays and wants my well being yet I could still figure out there is something not clear thus my reason for taking my time to propose to her. This is actually not my fault as there is no way I can figure out who she is unless through someone close to her.

About 6 months ago a pastor that is yet to meet her in person told me that if I marry her I will end up divorcing but being the doubting Thomas type I gave no ear to whatever the pastor has to say until recently when something unfolded.

She lives 3 hrs drive away and comes visiting most of the weekend. Here is the major problem which I must admit I'm at fault but I thank God I was at fault because it paved way for the revelation. Throughout the time we've been dating I only visited her once which she complained about, I wasn't just too comfortable going there to spend time and do certain things (I didn't just find this right but I'm very much comfortable if she visits alone or with the kid). She complained a few times about me not visiting until 2 weeks ago she told me she was traveling to Abuja.
I inquired about her reasons of traveling and she said she needed to rest since she's on leave (Redflag). Her reasons didn't sound logical so I objected, I told her I wasn't comfortable with her traveling, she kept insisting and she jokingly said she will go and face the consequences when she returns. We talked about this for days and she eventually went against all odds and traveled.
On getting to Abuja she started acting funny like not taking calls or calling and when she finally returned my call I told her not to call me until she is back from her trip (I needed to avoid unnecessary worries)

She returned after 4 days and called knowing fully well we've got issues to thrash. She started complaining I don't give her attention as much as she wants (she seems not to be able to deal with my introverted person anymore). The ranting was becoming rude, sounding like a different person from whom I thought I knew. We got to a heated point I had to ask for any of her siblings number, she immediately became defensive and threatened that if I dare contact any of her siblings (7 of them) that I won't like the outcome . It occurred to me she isn't in good relationship with any of her siblings even though they talk sometimes. She just doesn't want me to contact anyone. Out of her rudeness I asked her if she is ready to be under a man since she has brought up marriage issues on few occasions. She said she isn't ready to tolerate bulllshitt of men afterall she has a child, marriage is about children and if things aren't working in a marriage everyone can find their way . The pastor's words occurred to me instantly. I took about 2 hours telling her how much she needs to adjust and understand she isn't supposed to tuzzle with a man else it will be hard for things to work in a home.

She said so many unimaginable things that it dawned to me she was pretending to be nice all these while. She said she wants a man that can take alll she does, I then asked her if she is ready to take all a man does she said no and I told her to look for a man and pay his groom price since she wants a man she can control.

Still scary to me she pretended all these while, going to church and acting very responsible hoping I marry her which I genuinely had intentions to but for the fact something kept telling me I needed more time to know her.

At the end its obvious she is used to being a single mother and if she divorces tomorrow it will be nothing new to her.

Guys make sure you scrutinize that single mother before you jump in. There's a reason she's single and in her 30's.
I found out she's not in good terms with her siblings because she doesn't like taking orders or listening to advice. They've talked to her about being rude and disrespectful but rather than listen she drew bad blood between her and all her siblings.

makydebbie:
Don't mind such people or bother quoting them.

If I was a guy, I'll rather go for a single mum than someone who has done countless abortions.

Nnemuka:
My dear... And if you look well he may not have Kobo to his name oo just the penis inbetween his legs.
Babes cannot live her life or travel without boyfriend's permission. Lol

makydebbie:
I'm talking about those that have done abortion and single mothers. I quoted somebody based on what she typed.

1x2x3:
My dear I'm confused as to what she wants. When we started this relationship I gave her freedom. I don't even worry if she wants to go anywhere then she started complaining that I don't care, that I don't even get jealous when she tells me a man is disturbing her....... We actually quarrel over it and settled. Now it's the very first time I objected and she went all out saying things. If she needed freedom I don't know why she complained initially about me giving her all the freedom.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Nobody is useless.
You know a single mother once had an option to have an abortion?
Have some sense and don't call people you know nothing about "useless".

oloriLFC:
it doesnt even matter if the guy doesn't have a dime. does it mean she can only listen 2 him if he has money? a lot of us females get it wrong in relatnshps cos of li2 things. You dnt hav 2 be married 2 her b4 u can ask her questns, once u aren't too possessive and frm ur comments here, u are not. I guess d lady wanted her freedom and she now has it, no wahala. i just smh at some ladies sha

makydebbie:
Don't mind such people or bother quoting them.

If I was a guy, I'll rather go for a single mum than someone who has done countless abortions. The joke is on them.

emelda86:
If u marry problem if u no marry problem OK ooo...

1x2x3:
I'm sorry I'm saying this and it hurts my heart to agree with the warnings of marrying a single mother. I'm not the best writer but I will try to narrate my experience and findings.

First of all I would like to point out that there are very few single mothers who can make a good wife while majority of them will ruin you and make your life miserable if caution is not taken.

I've been dating a single mother of a 5 years old boy for about a year and half she is 30 and never been married. I wouldn't just jump into such relationship but for the fact she is someone I knew back in my School days however, we lost contact for about 10 years before we met again and I kind of understood the story she told me and the circumstances she had the child (Till date I didn't bother verifying her story of course I don't care).

We dated for about a year and she got talking with a few of my friends and sibling but the striking thing is she is yet to introduce me to any of her friends or siblings even though I knew she have many siblings and some friends (I did question her about this and she said she doesn't have someone she can really call a friend).

Looking at the kind of reserved life she lives I felt this could be normal but still something kept telling me there's more to these whole pretentious reserved life because I'm introverted and can easily figure out who's pretending to be one. Mind you, she is the church going type who prays and wants my well being yet I could still figure out there is something not clear thus my reason for taking my time to propose to her. This is actually not my fault as there is no way I can figure out who she is unless through someone close to her.

About 6 months ago a pastor that is yet to meet her in person told me that if I marry her I will end up divorcing but being the doubting Thomas type I gave no ear to whatever the pastor has to say until recently when something unfolded.

She lives 3 hrs drive away and comes visiting most of the weekend. Here is the major problem which I must admit I'm at fault but I thank God I was at fault because it paved way for the revelation. Throughout the time we've been dating I only visited her once which she complained about, I wasn't just too comfortable going there to spend time and do certain things (I didn't just find this right but I'm very much comfortable if she visits alone or with the kid). She complained a few times about me not visiting until 2 weeks ago she told me she was traveling to Abuja.
I inquired about her reasons of traveling and she said she needed to rest since she's on leave (Redflag). Her reasons didn't sound logical so I objected, I told her I wasn't comfortable with her traveling, she kept insisting and she jokingly said she will go and face the consequences when she returns. We talked about this for days and she eventually went against all odds and traveled.
On getting to Abuja she started acting funny like not taking calls or calling and when she finally returned my call I told her not to call me until she is back from her trip (I needed to avoid unnecessary worries)

She returned after 4 days and called knowing fully well we've got issues to thrash. She started complaining I don't give her attention as much as she wants (she seems not to be able to deal with my introverted person anymore). The ranting was becoming rude, sounding like a different person from whom I thought I knew. We got to a heated point I had to ask for any of her siblings number, she immediately became defensive and threatened that if I dare contact any of her siblings (7 of them) that I won't like the outcome . It occurred to me she isn't in good relationship with any of her siblings even though they talk sometimes. She just doesn't want me to contact anyone. Out of her rudeness I asked her if she is ready to be under a man since she has brought up marriage issues on few occasions. She said she isn't ready to tolerate bulllshitt of men afterall she has a child, marriage is about children and if things aren't working in a marriage everyone can find their way . The pastor's words occurred to me instantly. I took about 2 hours telling her how much she needs to adjust and understand she isn't supposed to tuzzle with a man else it will be hard for things to work in a home.

She said so many unimaginable things that it dawned to me she was pretending to be nice all these while. She said she wants a man that can take alll she does, I then asked her if she is ready to take all a man does she said no and I told her to look for a man and pay his groom price since she wants a man she can control.

Still scary to me she pretended all these while, going to church and acting very responsible hoping I marry her which I genuinely had intentions to but for the fact something kept telling me I needed more time to know her.

At the end its obvious she is used to being a single mother and if she divorces tomorrow it will be nothing new to her.

Guys make sure you scrutinize that single mother before you jump in. There's a reason she's single and in her 30's.
I found out she's not in good terms with her siblings because she doesn't like taking orders or listening to advice. They've talked to her about being rude and disrespectful but rather than listen she drew bad blood between her and all her siblings.

pedrilo:
lol Emy I see you.

drnoel:
I wonder how u got over 150 likes from just ranting like a child.
I tell people marriage and relationships are not for the weak minded but people still tell me how silly they think I am.
I will tell u categorically that all Ur epistle u wrote is rubbish, though I don't know the woman and question or Ur case scenario but u failed to ask the important questions or should I say give d impt answers.
I haven't seen any woman that won't give u attitude. Ur mare asking to speak with one and u already get attitude, women are kind of built in certain ways. That Ur lady friends is not left out.

U didn't handle the issue maturely. If u did u would have seen things differently.
The fact that she when to spend her vacation in Abuja alone doesn't mean she when to do runz.
Children or men not ready to date should leave women alone

eghuan1:
With all these comments am seeing here, you guys are making me scared o, because am currently dating a beautiful single mum who is over a year older than me.
Though we've been together for about two months now, she has introduced me to her friends, elder sister and her aunt. They all spoke good of her.

But what is giving me hope is that the ex husband has another child with another woman who is not with him. So the problem may not necessarily be the women here, but the guy.

But I de with my looking glass sha

double0seven:
Please, I think there is something very wrong with your the title of the thread and in fact your conclusion.

There are many ladies like the girl you talk about, and they are not single mother kankan (at all at all). It has nothing to do with having a child; it has everything to do with their character.

A lady with good characters will become good-character-single-mother and lady with bad character wil become a bad-character-single-mother.


There are many girls with good character that had a child outside marriage and I happen to have known several. But there young sha, like mid twenties.

Anyway, which one is comes (formed) first : is the character or the state of being a single mother.?

Your girl is a girl with bad character, she just happens to be a single mother. There are also plenty of them like that that are not single mothers.

1x2x3:
So sorry you thought I'm here to rant and see help. I've had other issues with her that we've settled without anyone knowing. I'm not the type that easily seek people's opinion but if I ever have to then you know I've exploited all options. I'm simply done with her, I can't write all she said here which is enough for me to know who I'm dealing with.

A woman none of her 7 siblings can talk to? She talks to her elder brother who is over 10 years older rudely......i dont want to keep going cos I've made my mind up. Thank you for your contribution.

Netanyahu1:
Op. I understand the single mother aspect. I have come to realize that 80% of all single mothers have one of two problems. Its either that they are totally dull about everything in life to the extent that no man is interested in managing their intellectual deficiency, or they are outrightly wayward to the extent that no man wants to be a party to their stupid ideology about what a marital union should look like.

In your own case , however, you just dodged a bullet. As far as "Nigeria" is concerned , church is where you find the most useless and heartless con artists, starting from the pastor, therefore , the combination of a single mother you met in church is equal to natural disaster .

Again op. You just dodged a bullet. If I were you I will be dancing like David for this new life god has given you.I mean the real God and not the god of Nigerian pastors.

Tallesty1:
They're not the only available options ni. There are girls out there who are not baby mamas and have not done any abortion so we go for them instead.

You young ladies clearly don't understand the problems that are associated with marrying a single a parent.

Single parents tend to love the child they had for that other person more than the ones they will have with you because the see that child as a consolation for all the things s/he passed through in the hands of the other person

This creates division among children and causes frequent misunderstanding between the couple too.

I'm not generalizing though but we need to accept the reality.

Hector09:
u are mistaking cus i cant tolarate any lady

1x2x3:
So sorry you thought I'm here to rant and see help. I've had other issues with her that we've settled without anyone knowing. I'm not the type that easily seek people's opinion but if I ever have to then you know I've exploited all options. I'm simply done with her, I can't write all she said here which is enough for me to know who I'm dealing with.

A woman none of her 7 siblings can talk to? She talks to her elder brother who is over 10 years older rudely......i dont want to keep going cos I've made my mind up. Thank you for your contribution.