₦airaland Forum

Do not be with a person who is not comfortable with who you are

That thing is, you will never get used to it.
But don't worry, once you get married and have a child, or children, you won't be following him around again, because you will have little or no time to party around.
Calm down and enjoy it while it last.

This marriage is dead on arrival

Your man is a social and out going person probably seen all the girls there is out there he saw something in you particularly your decency and morals and his trying to stay committed with you that's why he want you to classy and sexy to what he likes. It's normal compromise once in a while it nice

Some people will make you feel guilty for not wanting what most girls dream of so don't listen to them. Do what makes you happy and be with like minded people. If these things and this lifestyle makes you unhappy then speak up! Speak your mind and don't be a follower. He sounds like a catch but if he's not your catch then let him go. To pretend, to change or adapt to something you're not comfortable with is just selling yourself out. You'll hate yourself in the end so follow your heart.

donstan18:
It's either your villagers are tampering with your life or you are a deeper life girl.

What nonsense!

Break up with him and watch the next lady grab him for life.

You're lucky and should be grateful he's an expressive type of man who's always ready to back up whatever he wants from you with money. How happy will you be to watch him cheat and flirt with other ladies who are ready to live the life he wants from you.

He's from a very wealthy family and it's normal for him to see his woman look good and classy. Yes! It might seem like he's trying so hard to change you but that's not the only angle you should see it, look beyond, see it that he values and care for you so much that he wants you to turn to what he wants in his woman, rather than seeking it from other ladies.

I don't mean to call you poor, but I think you are suffering from what poor people suffer when they are mingling with wealthy folks. Inferiority complex and inability to be comfortable with classy lifestyle due to their background.

Don't loose that man.

He values and respect you, which is why he wants to change you to the kind of woman he wants, than attempting to get it outside. Do well to change a bit for him, don't change totally, just a bit.

I tell you it's difficult to live a life of another. Don't tell me dude didn't see the classy babes, he prefer her because, she is been herself and she is a simple woman. What dude wants is just occasional fake life which ma'am does not want. Some people can see through you and know when you faking e.g MIL. Since ma'am is an introvert and dude wants her to be extrovert sometimes. She may have to compromise may be take alcohol occasionally to change attitudes and look hot to the taste of dude.

If you can't fix this now and you can't live with it
Then I suggest you pull out .

Monday200:
Hello Nairalanders. Plz pardon my errors. Lalasticlala, and Mynd44 please help with advice from pple

I'm a 27 while my boyfriend is 34,we've only dated for 7 months and he proposed to me last week. But the problem is that we are 2 different people,what he want is different from what I want.
He is from a rich family that likes flashing things, he always tell me to use make up when I say make up it not just foundation and lipstick every time am going out which I don't like at all I prefer using powder and lipstick and I use to tell him that I don't know how to do make ups yet he said he will get me a make ups artist. I don't know how am going to cope with that. Anytime we are going to see his family member or friends, he will always want me to over dress like it's a wedding day.
He likes going party a lot and anytime he ask me I will make up some excuse not to go and I don't know how long I will continue giving him excuse cos am an indoor person i don't like going out at all I only go out whenever am an having important things, there was a time he discovered and accused me of been ashamed of him that why I hate going out with him and its not like that.
He likes people prying into our privacy anytime we had a misunderstanding he will ask one of his friends to beg me on his behalf and I hate this
He always want me to wear clothes that fit his standard like wearing heavy jewelries expensive one ,high heels,(he use to buy them for me cos his a rich dude ) he want a luxurious life while I only want a simple life. He can do anything to mk me look good and classy, he is always ready to spend for that.


My problem is do you think I can adapt to his lifestyle when we get married as I like being simple. Am scared.

you ll adapt and you ll even do worse as time goes on. I ve seen many ladies from no makeup back in schools to looking like masquerade now

but why is a 34yrs old man keen on trivia stuffs like such from a lady he wants to marry

where did u two meet

when an introvert marries an extrovert.. this is the result.. use your head!!

Which kind mumu post be dis. Break up with him na. Oh i forgot he is rich. Nonsense gold digger

lereinter:
but why is a 34yrs old man keen on trivia stuffs like such from a lady he wants to marry

where did u two meet

e no go pass facebook

He finds u attractive because u r his opposite. Come to think of becoming like poles, would there still be attraction?
I talk only to the wise in mind, I don't talk much.

Monday200:
Hello Nairalanders. Plz pardon my errors. Lalasticlala, and Mynd44 please help with advice from pple

I'm a 27 while my boyfriend is 34,we've only dated for 7 months and he proposed to me last week. But the problem is that we are 2 different people,what he want is different from what I want.
He is from a rich family that likes flashing things, he always tell me to use make up when I say make up it not just foundation and lipstick every time am going out which I don't like at all I prefer using powder and lipstick and I use to tell him that I don't know how to do make ups yet he said he will get me a make ups artist. I don't know how am going to cope with that. Anytime we are going to see his family member or friends, he will always want me to over dress like it's a wedding day.
He likes going party a lot and anytime he ask me I will make up some excuse not to go and I don't know how long I will continue giving him excuse cos am an indoor person i don't like going out at all I only go out whenever am an having important things, there was a time he discovered and accused me of been ashamed of him that why I hate going out with him and its not like that.
He likes people prying into our privacy anytime we had a misunderstanding he will ask one of his friends to beg me on his behalf and I hate this
He always want me to wear clothes that fit his standard like wearing heavy jewelries expensive one ,high heels,(he use to buy them for me cos his a rich dude ) he want a luxurious life while I only want a simple life. He can do anything to mk me look good and classy, he is always ready to spend for that.


My problem is do you think I can adapt to his lifestyle when we get married as I like being simple. Am scared.

Girl run.

Better be single than be in an unhappy marriage.

It is your guy that I pity. He wants to change you from good to what? When beauty and extravagant lifestyle sinks into your head, he will now see you as a demon.

You are already a good lady, convince him that you are not local. Tell him that that is how you can stay focused with him and not being a party girl. God bless you.

donstan18:
It's either your villagers are tampering with your life or you are a deeper life girl.

What nonsense!

Break up with him and watch the next lady grab him for life.

You're lucky and should be grateful he's an expressive type of man who's always ready to back up whatever he wants from you with money. How happy will you be to watch him cheat and flirt with other ladies who are ready to live the life he wants from you.

He's from a very wealthy family and it's normal for him to see his woman look good and classy. Yes! It might seem like he's trying so hard to change you but that's not the only angle you should see it, look beyond, see it that he values and care for you so much that he wants you to turn to what he wants in his woman, rather than seeking it from other ladies.

I don't mean to call you poor, but I think you are suffering from what poor people suffer when they are mingling with wealthy folks. Inferiority complex and inability to be comfortable with classy lifestyle due to their background.

Don't loose that man.

He values and respect you, which is why he wants to change you to the kind of woman he wants, than attempting to get it outside. Do well to change a bit for him, don't change totally, just a bit.

LMAO... the first caption got me rolling you harsh o... But the one that has head has no cap and the one with the cap is headless... Such is life o... Op if that is the only issue he has then you should work on yourself and break the bondage that poverty have snared you with... If you however feel you've been so wired the simple way and can't cope then free the guy for a fellow sister who can cope biko

most husbands are dying for your type! jah bless you real good.

baby please, you can moderate it, some times add a not extra makeup more than you would ordinarily love to, try to keep the balance, but if he is bent on you doing these things, you got the final say, you can work away! cos I tell one truth; Later in marriage, this same man will complain your skirts are too short, your makeup is too elaborate, e.t.c! and by then you have become addicted to the life style and issues starts arising! he is too carried away now to see the maturity in your dress sense!

Op leave him n come to me I won't interfere with ur lifestyle

this is the problem I have with people intending to marry. if you don't change him now, u can't change him forever

Monday200:
Hello Nairalanders. Plz pardon my errors. Lalasticlala, and Mynd44 please help with advice from pple

I'm a 27 while my boyfriend is 34,we've only dated for 7 months and he proposed to me last week. But the problem is that we are 2 different people,what he want is different from what I want.
He is from a rich family that likes flashing things, he always tell me to use make up when I say make up it not just foundation and lipstick every time am going out which I don't like at all I prefer using powder and lipstick and I use to tell him that I don't know how to do make ups yet he said he will get me a make ups artist. I don't know how am going to cope with that. Anytime we are going to see his family member or friends, he will always want me to over dress like it's a wedding day.
He likes going party a lot and anytime he ask me I will make up some excuse not to go and I don't know how long I will continue giving him excuse cos am an indoor person i don't like going out at all I only go out whenever am an having important things, there was a time he discovered and accused me of been ashamed of him that why I hate going out with him and its not like that.
He likes people prying into our privacy anytime we had a misunderstanding he will ask one of his friends to beg me on his behalf and I hate this
He always want me to wear clothes that fit his standard like wearing heavy jewelries expensive one ,high heels,(he use to buy them for me cos his a rich dude ) he want a luxurious life while I only want a simple life. He can do anything to mk me look good and classy, he is always ready to spend for that.


My problem is do you think I can adapt to his lifestyle when we get married as I like being simple. Am scared.

It is simple, adapt! Your guy just like classy things.
This is not suppose to be a problem. Take it like he's caring for you.

And for going out, you can select where you go with him, but don't always say no . Are you an old woman?

One more thing, if you adapt now, don't go back while you are married to him o, because hatred will start.... You women are fond of this one particularly

Acidosis:
You're certainly going to regret this union.

Better don't allow the poor-man-mentality comments on this thread confuse you. Being a reserved and conservative person has nothing to do with wealth

[b] His actions are a result of his personality (not his money) [b][/b]Take away that wealth today, he'll still borrow to impress people, na so extroverted money miss road people dey do.

Don't force it, no one should force you to do what you wouldn't do on your own discretion. Love with your head and be calculative. Love should not make you go to the extreme. Listen to the comments on this thread at your own peril.

I was wondering at the comments, so because he is rich she should force herself to do what she doesn't like doing?

She's reserved he's not
He wants her to look professionally made up always, she wants to be able to do just foundation powder and lipstick sometimes.
He likes partying, she doesnt
He wants her to wear heavy jewelry she wants the simple ones
He wants to luxurious show off life, she wants the simple life.

People break up with ladies simply because they are the clubbing and slay types , the man in not that type and the ladies don't want to change.


OP try to let him see reason with your lifestyle, you should reach a middle ground. Nothing wrong with looking glam and we'll made up every other time but everytime is quite a burden to quite a lot of ladies.

There's a reason he came for you, dated and proposed he saw the other regular club girls didn't he. Since every other thing seems okay you guys should sit and talk about this if there's no compromise and you know you can't cope please walk, simple. It doesn't mean he's a bad person, it's just that compatibility is important in marriage.


I can't believe the same nairalanders who are say ladies marry for money are saying she's missing an opportunity simply because the guy has money. Hypocrites.

As long as he can afford the things he wants you to wear, i see no problem.

If you don't like 3rd party interference, tell him to stop it.

He likes you to attend events with him. Would you prefer he leaves you at home? Many ladies are praying for a man that would take them everywhere with them.

You have not pointed out any fault in this guy. Your problem is that he is rich, flamboyant and wants to show you off.

What do you really want

ibkayee:
It’s important not to lose your identity when you’re in a relationship so I won’t say change yourself for him, however a little compromising won’t hurt, this is part of what relationships are about. Sit him down and talk about your concerns, suggest meeting each other half way i.e. rather than a makeup artist, find a look that is neither overboard, nor too plain, same for your outfits. Tell him you don’t want to go to every single event, but don’t stay at home every single time, go every now and then.

Only serious thing you’ve mentioned is the fact that he brings people into your private business tbh, tell him it’s violating your trust and it isn’t healthy for your relationship. Only time any of you should be talking to others about your marital issues is if you’re in genuine danger.

If you don’t think you can compromise however and it makes you that uncomfortable maybe call it quits, some people just aren’t compatible

What's the meaning of TBH? To be hunted? To be harmed?? Tryna be hated?

You guys should make things easier for those who read comments na.

...quit...

ImaIma1:
As long as he can afford the things he wants you to wear, i see no problem.

If you don't like 3rd party interference, tell him to stop it.

He likes you to attend events with him. Would you prefer he leaves you at home? Many ladies are praying for a man that would take them everywhere with them.

You have not pointed out any fault in this guy. Your problem is that he is rich, flamboyant and wants to show you off.

What do you really want

Oshey... Awon slay mama.

You want her to become a shape shifter??

If she doesn't want to party, why can't the fiancé understand her and remain at home? Does it 'hafta' be the Lady bending to his rules or ideology. Place yourself in her shoe, that's if you aren't slayed yet??

lilyheaven:
That thing is, you will never get used to it.
But don't worry, once you get married and have a child, or children, you won't be following him around again, because you will have little or no time to party around.
Calm down and enjoy it while it last.

Lol. It doesn't necessarily have to be about her (the op). You mean to say that her fiancé will still be partying after she's birth her first child?? That's irresponsibility on a whole level! Detach yourself from such a wayward man.

SirMichael1:
What's the meaning of TBH? To be hunted? To be harmed?? Tryna be hated?

You guys should make things easier for those who read comments na.

...quit...

Lol it means 'to be honest'

It's 'call it quits', not 'call it quit', it's a saying

SirMichael1:
Lol. It doesn't necessarily have to be about her (the op). You mean to say that her fiancé will still be partying after she's birth her first child?? That's irresponsibility on a whole level! Detach yourself from such a wayward man.

You most be an introvert.
Extroverts never change, ordinary child dedication they will turn it to a party as long as the money is there.

I know almost every body will say there's no any problem here, but the truth is there's a problem here. It's true money answereth all things, but the truth is that there are certain things money can't do.

To the OP, that man will make a terrible husband/father. He will just believe money is all his wife and kids need, thus leading to emotional detachment from the family.

Am not gonna say break up with him (I mean, why would I tell you to do that when money is involved), the only thing I will tell you to do is prepare your mind for this kind of life forever.

If at 34 he still behaves like all those 100L folks, then there's no solution to his problem..

They say a fool at forty is a fool forever. What most people fail to understand these days is that it's not up to 40 any more.
If at 30 you don't have bearings, then just forget it.

Please note that I did not in anyway call him a fool, this is me trying to make my point.

All the best and lucky you to have what an average Nigerian girl dreams of having.

#Enjoy!

Monday200:
Hello Nairalanders. Plz pardon my errors. Moderators please help with advice from pple

I'm a 27 while my boyfriend is 34,we've only dated for 7 months and he proposed to me last week. But the problem is that we are 2 different people,what he want is different from what I want.

He is from a rich family that likes flashing things, he always tell me to use make up when I say make up it not just foundation and lipstick every time am going out which I don't like at all I prefer using powder and lipstick and I use to tell him that I don't know how to do make ups yet he said he will get me a make ups artist. I don't know how am going to cope with that. Anytime we are going to see his family member or friends, he will always want me to over dress like it's a wedding day.

He likes going party a lot and anytime he ask me I will make up some excuse not to go and I don't know how long I will continue giving him excuse cos am an indoor person i don't like going out at all I only go out whenever am an having important things, there was a time he discovered and accused me of been ashamed of him that why I hate going out with him and its not like that.
He likes people prying into our privacy anytime we had a misunderstanding he will ask one of his friends to beg me on his behalf and I hate this.

He always want me to wear clothes that fit his standard like wearing heavy jewelries expensive one ,high heels,(he use to buy them for me cos his a rich dude ) he want a luxurious life while I only want a simple life. He can do anything to mk me look good and classy, he is always ready to spend for that.


My problem is do you think I can adapt to his lifestyle when we get married as I like being simple. Am scared.

How can u even consider marrying someone that you are not comfortable with, you are about to spend the rest of your life with him...u better make your choices very well...my advice: talk to him about your insecurities, e.g you don't like too much make up and that overdressing rubbish...if he really cares he will understand but if not then......


But I think because he is rich u are finding it hard to leave him, if he were broke or average u for dump am I know

See runz Girlz full this thread i

ibkayee:
It’s important not to lose your identity when you’re in a relationship so I won’t say change yourself for him, however a little compromising won’t hurt, this is part of what relationships are about. Sit him down and talk about your concerns, suggest meeting each other half way i.e. rather than a makeup artist, find a look that is neither overboard, nor too plain, same for your outfits. Tell him you don’t want to go to every single event, but don’t stay at home every single time, go every now and then.

Only serious thing you’ve mentioned is the fact that he brings people into your private business tbh, tell him it’s violating your trust and it isn’t healthy for your relationship. Only time any of you should be talking to others about your marital issues is if you’re in genuine danger.

If you don’t think you can compromise however and it makes you that uncomfortable maybe call it quits, some people just aren’t compatible

One of the very sensible comments here. Class is permanent.