₦airaland Forum

prettysassygirl:
I also dated someone like that,who couldn't sit at a place and loved to party,he wanted me to wear extremely skimpy things,to cut my jeans etc,and I am a not so reserved but I wasn't brought up with such a lifestyle. We almost got married too but we broke up four months to the supposed wedding. I am happy today I didn't marry him,he would have probably taken me away from my faith which is of utmost importance to me. But I Also believe there are certain things one ought to change after getting married, as a lady or as a guy cos u are going to be living with someone from an utterly different background and ideology. So I advise that u weigh your options ,no one can decide this better than u,analyse the situation and think with your head not your heart. Pray about it also then pls and pls make the right decision, marriage ain't childplay.

PrecisionFx:
So u expected him to allow u to look like Mgbeke ogboju girl and be following him upandan??

Monday200:
Hello Nairalanders. Plz pardon my errors. Moderators please help with advice from pple

I'm a 27 while my boyfriend is 34,we've only dated for 7 months and he proposed to me last week. But the problem is that we are 2 different people,what he want is different from what I want.

He is from a rich family that likes flashing things, he always tell me to use make up when I say make up it not just foundation and lipstick every time am going out which I don't like at all I prefer using powder and lipstick and I use to tell him that I don't know how to do make ups yet he said he will get me a make ups artist. I don't know how am going to cope with that. Anytime we are going to see his family member or friends, he will always want me to over dress like it's a wedding day.

He likes going party a lot and anytime he ask me I will make up some excuse not to go and I don't know how long I will continue giving him excuse cos am an indoor person i don't like going out at all I only go out whenever am an having important things, there was a time he discovered and accused me of been ashamed of him that why I hate going out with him and its not like that.
He likes people prying into our privacy anytime we had a misunderstanding he will ask one of his friends to beg me on his behalf and I hate this.

He always want me to wear clothes that fit his standard like wearing heavy jewelries expensive one ,high heels,(he use to buy them for me cos his a rich dude ) he want a luxurious life while I only want a simple life. He can do anything to mk me look good and classy, he is always ready to spend for that.


My problem is do you think I can adapt to his lifestyle when we get married as I like being simple. Am scared.

Monday200:
Hello Nairalanders. Plz pardon my errors. Moderators please help with advice from pple

I'm a 27 while my boyfriend is 34,we've only dated for 7 months and he proposed to me last week. But the problem is that we are 2 different people,what he want is different from what I want.

He is from a rich family that likes flashing things, he always tell me to use make up when I say make up it not just foundation and lipstick every time am going out which I don't like at all I prefer using powder and lipstick and I use to tell him that I don't know how to do make ups yet he said he will get me a make ups artist. I don't know how am going to cope with that. Anytime we are going to see his family member or friends, he will always want me to over dress like it's a wedding day.

He likes going party a lot and anytime he ask me I will make up some excuse not to go and I don't know how long I will continue giving him excuse cos am an indoor person i don't like going out at all I only go out whenever am an having important things, there was a time he discovered and accused me of been ashamed of him that why I hate going out with him and its not like that.
He likes people prying into our privacy anytime we had a misunderstanding he will ask one of his friends to beg me on his behalf and I hate this.

He always want me to wear clothes that fit his standard like wearing heavy jewelries expensive one ,high heels,(he use to buy them for me cos his a rich dude ) he want a luxurious life while I only want a simple life. He can do anything to mk me look good and classy, he is always ready to spend for that.


My problem is do you think I can adapt to his lifestyle when we get married as I like being simple. Am scared.

davidif:
It seems as if he is the shallow type and is just looking for a trophy wife: someone he can show off to his friends for his ego. I will encourage you to pray about it because it looks like both of you are not compatible at all. You guys are like oil and water. From what you wrote its like your personalities don't even seem match in the first place. Its up to you to figure out if that's very important to you before you proceed further in the relationship and you guys hurt each other. Don't mind this Nigerians who think it's all bout money. You gotta think about your longtime happiness cos marriage is a lifetime contract.

Andracarles:
Sister, this is someone you are clearly incompatible with. What is keeping you there? The money? Its got to be that. Why else would you stay with someone that is so not compatible with you. Na you sabi shaa. You already know what to do. You also know what is drawing your throat. Meezie nke ka gi mma.

Acidosis:
You're certainly going to regret this union.

Better don't allow the poor-man-mentality comments on this thread confuse you. Being a reserved and conservative person has nothing to do with wealth.

His actions are a result of his personality (not his money). Take away that wealth today, he'll still borrow to impress people, na so extroverted money miss road people dey do.

Don't force it, no one should force you to do what you wouldn't do on your own discretion. Love with your head and be calculative. Love should not make you go to the extreme. Listen to the comments on this thread at your own peril.

2buffagain:
Ignore what all these kids are saying.
Any relationship that requires a change in lifestyle from you that YOU DON'T WANT is not a relationship you should be in, no matter "how lucky you should feel to be in it".

People CAN change in a relationship, but it has to be a change that is in alignment with where you want to be. E.g you are not fit but dating a person into fitness, you probably have an interest in being healthy so would easily follow them to change your lifestyle. But in this case, you have no interest in slaying.
Maybe you should be with a more simple guy?


Since "body arts" isn't your thing, you might find it too hard and not worth it trying to compete with all the slay queens who all these things come easy to and who are no doubt eyeing your rich extroverted boyfriend right now. If he likes to go to parties a lot, all it takes after a few drinks is for that girl who meets his visual spec to be giving him dutty wine and he will last like a couple of weeks. Prepare to be cheated on to stupor if you already "don't know if you can cope" and yet choose to continue.

Awon Nkechi tin wo bobo e

If it was any other thing, I would talk about compromise and yada yada, but when it comes to a man's visual taste, that is something we can't even play with EVEN IF WE TRIED. I'm sure you've heard it said several times that men are visual.

Sure He sees something in you that he isn't seeing in these physical girls (loyalty, homeliness, etc), but the fact he is always trying to change your look shows that he too is making a mistake. Sooner or later, one person will have to grow up.

Acidosis:
You're certainly going to regret this union.

Better don't allow the poor-man-mentality comments on this thread confuse you. Being a reserved and conservative person has nothing to do with wealth.

His actions are a result of his personality (not his money). Take away that wealth today, he'll still borrow to impress people, na so extroverted money miss road people dey do.

Don't force it, no one should force you to do what you wouldn't do on your own discretion. Love with your head and be calculative. Love should not make you go to the extreme. Listen to the comments on this thread at your own peril.

2buffagain:
Ignore what all these kids are saying.
Any relationship that requires a change in lifestyle from you that YOU DON'T WANT is not a relationship you should be in, no matter "how lucky you should feel to be in it".

People CAN change in a relationship, but it has to be a change that is in alignment with where you want to be. E.g you are not fit but dating a person into fitness, you probably have an interest in being healthy so would easily follow them to change your lifestyle. But in this case, you have no interest in slaying.
Maybe you should be with a more simple guy?


Since "body arts" isn't your thing, you might find it too hard and not worth it trying to compete with all the slay queens who all these things come easy to and who are no doubt eyeing your rich extroverted boyfriend right now. If he likes to go to parties a lot, all it takes after a few drinks is for that girl who meets his visual spec to be giving him dutty wine and he will last like a couple of weeks. Prepare to be cheated on to stupor if you already "don't know if you can cope" and yet choose to continue.

Awon Nkechi tin wo bobo e

If it was any other thing, I would talk about compromise and yada yada, but when it comes to a man's visual taste, that is something we can't even play with EVEN IF WE TRIED. I'm sure you've heard it said several times that men are visual.

Sure He sees something in you that he isn't seeing in these physical girls (loyalty, homeliness, etc), but the fact he is always trying to change your look shows that he too is making a mistake. Sooner or later, one person will have to grow up.

generationz:
the dead guy right?

have you found love since then, you seem like such a sweet person.

Monday200:
Hello Nairalanders. Plz pardon my errors. Moderators please help with advice from pple

I'm a 27 while my boyfriend is 34,we've only dated for 7 months and he proposed to me last week. But the problem is that we are 2 different people,what he want is different from what I want.

He is from a rich family that likes flashing things, he always tell me to use make up when I say make up it not just foundation and lipstick every time am going out which I don't like at all I prefer using powder and lipstick and I use to tell him that I don't know how to do make ups yet he said he will get me a make ups artist. I don't know how am going to cope with that. Anytime we are going to see his family member or friends, he will always want me to over dress like it's a wedding day.

He likes going party a lot and anytime he ask me I will make up some excuse not to go and I don't know how long I will continue giving him excuse cos am an indoor person i don't like going out at all I only go out whenever am an having important things, there was a time he discovered and accused me of been ashamed of him that why I hate going out with him and its not like that.
He likes people prying into our privacy anytime we had a misunderstanding he will ask one of his friends to beg me on his behalf and I hate this.

He always want me to wear clothes that fit his standard like wearing heavy jewelries expensive one ,high heels,(he use to buy them for me cos his a rich dude ) he want a luxurious life while I only want a simple life. He can do anything to mk me look good and classy, he is always ready to spend for that.


My problem is do you think I can adapt to his lifestyle when we get married as I like being simple. Am scared.

donstan18:
It's either your villagers are tampering with your life or you are a deeper life girl.

What nonsense!

Break up with him and watch the next lady grab him for life.

You're lucky and should be grateful he's an expressive type of man who's always ready to back up whatever he wants from you with money. How happy will you be to watch him cheat and flirt with other ladies who are ready to live the life he wants from you.

He's from a very wealthy family and it's normal for him to see his woman look good and classy. Yes! It might seem like he's trying so hard to change you but that's not the only angle you should see it, look beyond, see it that he values and care for you so much that he wants you to turn to what he wants in his woman, rather than seeking it from other ladies.

I don't mean to call you poor, but I think you are suffering from what poor people suffer when they are mingling with wealthy folks. Inferiority complex and inability to be comfortable with classy lifestyle due to their background.

Don't loose that man.

He values and respect you, which is why he wants to change you to the kind of woman he wants, than attempting to get it outside. Do well to change a bit for him, don't change totally, just a bit.

Badb0y4lyf:
Your man is a social and out going person probably seen all the girls there is out there he saw something in you particularly your decency and morals and his trying to stay committed with you that's why he want you to classy and sexy to what he likes. It's normal compromise once in a while it nice

2buffagain:
Ignore what all these kids are saying.
Any relationship that requires a change in lifestyle from you that YOU DON'T WANT is not a relationship you should be in, no matter "how lucky you should feel to be in it".

People CAN change in a relationship, but it has to be a change that is in alignment with where you want to be. E.g you are not fit but dating a person into fitness, you probably have an interest in being healthy so would easily follow them to change your lifestyle. But in this case, you have no interest in slaying.
Maybe you should be with a more simple guy?


Since "body arts" isn't your thing, you might find it too hard and not worth it trying to compete with all the slay queens who all these things come easy to and who are no doubt eyeing your rich extroverted boyfriend right now. If he likes to go to parties a lot, all it takes after a few drinks is for that girl who meets his visual spec to be giving him dutty wine and he will last like a couple of weeks. Prepare to be cheated on to stupor if you already "don't know if you can cope" and yet choose to continue.

Awon Nkechi tin wo bobo e

If it was any other thing, I would talk about compromise and yada yada, but when it comes to a man's visual taste, that is something we can't even play with EVEN IF WE TRIED. I'm sure you've heard it said several times that men are visual.

Sure He sees something in you that he isn't seeing in these physical girls (loyalty, homeliness, etc), but the fact he is always trying to change your look shows that he too is making a mistake. Sooner or later, one person will have to grow up.

Monday200:
Hello Nairalanders. Plz pardon my errors. Moderators please help with advice from pple

I'm a 27 while my boyfriend is 34,we've only dated for 7 months and he proposed to me last week. But the problem is that we are 2 different people,what he want is different from what I want.

He is from a rich family that likes flashing things, he always tell me to use make up when I say make up it not just foundation and lipstick every time am going out which I don't like at all I prefer using powder and lipstick and I use to tell him that I don't know how to do make ups yet he said he will get me a make ups artist. I don't know how am going to cope with that. Anytime we are going to see his family member or friends, he will always want me to over dress like it's a wedding day.

He likes going party a lot and anytime he ask me I will make up some excuse not to go and I don't know how long I will continue giving him excuse cos am an indoor person i don't like going out at all I only go out whenever am an having important things, there was a time he discovered and accused me of been ashamed of him that why I hate going out with him and its not like that.
He likes people prying into our privacy anytime we had a misunderstanding he will ask one of his friends to beg me on his behalf and I hate this.

He always want me to wear clothes that fit his standard like wearing heavy jewelries expensive one ,high heels,(he use to buy them for me cos his a rich dude ) he want a luxurious life while I only want a simple life. He can do anything to mk me look good and classy, he is always ready to spend for that.


My problem is do you think I can adapt to his lifestyle when we get married as I like being simple. Am scared.

Princedapace:
This is the only reasonable comment here so far. I was ashamed of the first comment. This society is finished. People really think money is everything a person need in life.

The first comment was a shame to humanity. Poverty has really made life stupid for many people in Nigeria.

Like I always tell people, it is 5 years after wedding your eyes go clear. Then, u will understand that if u married because of money, by the time u must have gotten plenty of those things u lacked, u may begin to have a decline in interests for your partner.

And for those who think simple lifestyle is meant for the poor, sorry, there are many wealthy people who don't like fancy and show off lifestyle.


Many people are like that. I perfectly understand the lady..and I'm scared, that marriage if it takes place, may become a serious warfare later on.

I am quite young but I have marriages crashed because of issues like this.

The people who are insulting her are either poor or blinded by the love for money in this society.

It is sad we have decline to this state in Nigeria.. Hope those insulting her can see many marriages that crashed even though money full ground..

Marriage is not all about money, money is important to compliment it but not the major issue.

Dear OP, if u aren't comfortable with his lifestyle, talk to him about ur type of life. If u two can't reach a compromise, please break up with him.


That u break up with him doesn't mean u are stupid, be wise, your happiness matters a lot in marriage.

Also, be mindful of he pretends to change. Because he may still return to his usual self after wedding.

Don't allow friends who think money is everything in life to deceive u.


Marriage can only work when the two involved fit along. Else u will get tired of him easily and may fancy another guy sooner while in the marriage. I know what I'm saying o.

izaray:
Babyforever kind of dream man

But we ladies can complain sha

emelda86:
Mumu complain ooo...

ideology:
Kontinu, you think life is all about make up, partying and living a fake life.

ehinmowo:
Na wa for you ooo! Can you see the kind of advice you are giving a 27 years old lady, who obviously needs improvement in her dressing life. And you are calling pple kids. I think this is d result of reading too much PERFECT-WORLD books. THE World is not perfect, deal with it.

It is easier to dish out some perfect-world ideas because you are a guy. When you see women in their 30s praying for come-as-you-are-guys, you will think twice. They are ready to foot the bills, pay for d welding, improve the guy's status, yet none is forthcoming.

There is nothing shameful or dehumanizing in making few adjustments here and there. Besides, you were born plain. Your present state now is as a result of adjustments. Love is first a sacrifice b4 anything else. If someone is finding it repulsive to shift ground because s/he has RIGHTS (and whatever name you pple call it), especially on libral things, it raises the question if there was love at all.

Baba this girl no get money, you still wnt menopause to visit her because of pompous ideas that are spread around by perfect-world books.

CAPSLOCKED:

IF IT'S NOT WORKING NOW, DON'T BELIEVE THAT IT'LL WORK TOMORROW.
IT NEVER GETS BETTER, ONLY WORSE.

donstan18:
It's either your villagers are tampering with your life or you are a deeper life girl.

What nonsense!

Break up with him and watch the next lady grab him for life.

You're lucky and should be grateful he's an expressive type of man who's always ready to back up whatever he wants from you with money. How happy will you be to watch him cheat and flirt with other ladies who are ready to live the life he wants from you.

He's from a very wealthy family and it's normal for him to see his woman look good and classy. Yes! It might seem like he's trying so hard to change you but that's not the only angle you should see it, look beyond, see it that he values and care for you so much that he wants you to turn to what he wants in his woman, rather than seeking it from other ladies.

I don't mean to call you poor, but I think you are suffering from what poor people suffer when they are mingling with wealthy folks. Inferiority complex and inability to be comfortable with classy lifestyle due to their background.

Don't loose that man.

He values and respect you, which is why he wants to change you to the kind of woman he wants, than attempting to get it outside. Do well to change a bit for him, don't change totally, just a bit.

donstan18:
It's either your villagers are tampering with your life or you are a deeper life girl.

What nonsense!

Break up with him and watch the next lady grab him for life.

You're lucky and should be grateful he's an expressive type of man who's always ready to back up whatever he wants from you with money. How happy will you be to watch him cheat and flirt with other ladies who are ready to live the life he wants from you.

He's from a very wealthy family and it's normal for him to see his woman look good and classy. Yes! It might seem like he's trying so hard to change you but that's not the only angle you should see it, look beyond, see it that he values and care for you so much that he wants you to turn to what he wants in his woman, rather than seeking it from other ladies.

I don't mean to call you poor, but I think you are suffering from what poor people suffer when they are mingling with wealthy folks. Inferiority complex and inability to be comfortable with classy lifestyle due to their background.

Don't loose that man.

He values and respect you, which is why he wants to change you to the kind of woman he wants, than attempting to get it outside. Do well to change a bit for him, don't change totally, just a bit.

tamethem:
Why must ppl worship money so tey that at the mention of money their reasoning faculty starts malfunctioning

For Gods sake Money is not the only source of happiness, so if this lady can't cope let her leave the guy. Heaven won't fall and she might still end up marrying a guy as rich or even richer.


Heaven won't fall