₦airaland Forum

donstan18:
It's either your villagers are tampering with your life or you are a deeper life girl.

What nonsense!

Break up with him and watch the next lady grab him for life.

You're lucky and should be grateful he's an expressive type of man who's always ready to back up whatever he wants from you with money. How happy will you be to watch him cheat and flirt with other ladies who are ready to live the life he wants from you.

He's from a very wealthy family and it's normal for him to see his woman look good and classy. Yes! It might seem like he's trying so hard to change you but that's not the only angle you should see it, look beyond, see it that he values and care for you so much that he wants you to turn to what he wants in his woman, rather than seeking it from other ladies.

I don't mean to call you poor, but I think you are suffering from what poor people suffer when they are mingling with wealthy folks. Inferiority complex and inability to be comfortable with classy lifestyle due to their background.

Don't loose that man.

He values and respect you, which is why he wants to change you to the kind of woman he wants, than attempting to get it outside. Do well to change a bit for him, don't change totally, just a bit.

what kind of stupid advice is this?

you mean you cannot see the problem here?

the girl is with an overly controlling nigga and you don't see any problem with it.

you want to scare her with that leave-him-and-another-girl-will-get-him veiled threat.

unfortunately, i think the girl already knows this too, which explains why she's still with him even though she knows better.

well, all i can say is that we make our choices in this life.

if you choose to stay with an overly controlling nigga just because of the money you're gonna get from it...

IT IS YOUR CHOICE!

dasall.

itsmeurLady:
Op for your own good, marry a man that you have to seek God to find him because from what u are saying, u are modest and he is not. He is an extrovert and you are the opposite. Lately, some Men are starting to go for ladies like you because they feel they want a homely girl and not slay queens, someone reserved but the bitter truth is most of them (men) are not ready to be reserved. I have seen men that buys extravagant things for their wives just because they want her to look like a slayer but end up going outside their matrimonial home to meet the real slayers just because their wives can't meet up with the kind of lifestyle. So my advice save yourself the trauma of praying against small girls with big god and define what u want in your man. Sit him down and talk to him about your personality and study him thereafter. Marriage no be child's play, if you are having doubts about him that means there is a probability that he is not the one for you. Forget that he is from a rich home, in fact ignore all the flashy things and ask yourself wat u want. Money is not everything! Think, pray, fast if you have to, get clear directions from God before you enter marriage with that young Man.

Quite true @bolded and innocent ladies walk right into it sometimes.

marriage is a life time thing, what you are not comfortable with in relationship, you wont be comfortable with it in marriage! Everything is not about money , your happiness first! First try to talk to him if he can balance up alittle nd u try to step up abit to his taste! But if u feel u cant cope with it at all not now or ever ! Pls take a walk till u get someone you are on the same level with

I've been there and I understand. Marrying a wealthy guy too has proved uneasy for me as I was this ordinary girl who loved my pants and sneakers more than all the fancy stuff you could get in loberton. But this dude had been my besty since I was like 5 years old and it got me all confused! I worked on the parts I felt I couldn't cope with and worked on myself to meet up his standard...I look ordinary when it's just the two of us but look exquisite when family and friends are involved! Am not the outing type either n hate parties like hell...but I knew if I didn't become active there, I'd loose my baby and I wasn't ready too...now am an expert in make-up and Onome my makeup artist has lost her job...he also now wears jeans and sneakers with me sometimes to proof he understands and loves my style. It's just all about communication and understanding honey. Reach me here and I'll teach you kromokafor@gmail.com (his email but am incharge of it) #kisses

Monday200, you made two mistakes...

1. Posting this on Romance section.
2. Making it be on front-page.

I will contribute whenever I find it on the Family section. But pending that, please read Acidosis' post with wisdom and Odunlade Adekola's marriage with wife.

Please if you stay in Benin, send me a pm. People like you are hard to come by. Friends keep pestering me why my lifestyle hasn't changed despite the money they think I have, its tiring explaining to people that you don't like being flashy. But sorry to break it to you, this relationship won't work, you would try to please him, but after a few years, you would get tired of the pretence. Telling you that you are ashamed of him is just guilt tripping.

ladiesreject:
I know almost every body will say there's no any problem here, but the truth is there's a problem here. It's true money answereth all things, but the truth is that there are certain things money can't do.

To the OP, that man will make a terrible husband/father. He will just believe money is all his wife and kids need, thus leading to emotional detachment from the family.

Am not gonna say break up with him (I mean, why would I do that when money is involved), the only thing I will tell you to do is prepare your mind for this kind of life forever.

If at 34 he still behaves like all those 100L folks, then there's no solution to his problem..

They say a fool at forty is a fool forever. What most people fail to understand these days is that it's not up to 40 any more.
If at 30 you don't have bearings, then just forget it.

Please note that I did not in anyway call him a fool, this is me trying to make my point.

All the best and lucky you to have what an average Nigerian girl dreams of having.

#Enjoy!

Dude you spoke, spake and Spoketh my mind.
donstan18 disappointed me with his comments.
monday200 sorry to say this but your guy seems to be an over grown mama's boy. there's no problem in wearing jewellery, make up and the rest. the problem is it's not you and am sure before bringing it online, judging by the kind of person you've described yourself to be, this issue has caused you something close to tears. so my observations; You are who you are and to tell you to change to what he wants is a huge call. He saw you the way you were before asking you out. you might try to succumb but I promise you this you won't be happy. Seriously, I don't know how your relationship is but for heaven sake the guy needs to respect YOU for who you are and stop trying to act like a silly 16 year old.
If there's one thing I see in this write up is you need to sit down and talk. BTW what are his views about Fatherhood, being a husband and marital responsibilities? try to understand these. and most importantly don't marry Anyone that thinks he is doing you a favour by marrying you. Be wise.

NoToPile:
I was wondering at the comments, so because he is rich she should force herself to do what she doesn't like doing?

She's reserved he's not
He wants her to look professionally made up always, she wants to be able to do just foundation powder and lipstick sometimes.
He likes partying, she doesnt
He wants her to wear heavy jewelry she wants the simple ones
He wants to luxurious show off life, she wants the simple life.

People break up with ladies simply because they are the clubbing and slay types , the man in not that type and the ladies don't want to change.


OP try to let him see reason with your lifestyle, you should reach a middle ground. Nothing wrong with looking glam and we'll made up every other time but everytime is quite a burden to quite a lot of ladies.

There's a reason he came for you, dated and proposed he saw the other regular club girls didn't he. Since every other thing seems okay you guys should sit and talk about this if there's no compromise and you know you can't cope please walk, simple. It doesn't mean he's a bad person, it's just that compatibility is important in marriage.


I can't believe the same nairalanders who are say ladies marry for money are saying she's missing an opportunity simply because the guy has money. Hypocrites.

It seems like Hypocrisy, but to me they are still doing the same thing they have always done.

They're only working according to their end goal, which has always been bashing women, and trying to convince women that a man is the ultimate no matter what, so therefore pleasing such men, (or men in general) even at the expense of your self worth, your happiness, your peace of mind, should always be a woman's goal.

That's why when the topic revolves around something like "men don't like women who marry for money" these same set come and bash women and tell then they shouldn't marry men for money, after all that's not what men want, And you know. A man is always right.

But in this topic where she is considering not marrying the man for money and considering her happiness and peace of mind, and ultimately her mental health. They can't have it. The man is the ultimate. Happiness and peace of mind for the woman be Damned. A woman should always do what a man wants. That's why you have that same set come out and tell her to manage and change herself for the man.

They don't care if it takes hypocrisy to achieve their end goal. As long as the woman now knows that the man is always right no matter what nonsense he says or asks for, they are happy.

This site is a disgrace with the way the posters here support misogyny.

It sickens me.

grandstar:
Are you a Witness?

Nope nope

generationz:
the dead guy right?

have you found love since then, you seem like such a sweet person.

Thanks, yes dear

@Monday200

It is a pity that most of the comments on this thread do not give you respect for who you are. You should understand that you are in good hands.

You will in future dress better than your husband expects you to. The reason is very simple, you will be more conservative and stylish, and you have to be. Your simple life has earned you this new status and you must accept it. It is your luck, so do not expect your life to remain the same after marriage, no one's life remains the same after marriage. But in your case, your life is going from good to best and I will explain why.

My wife and I went through same thing. She was conservative but I talked her into brands, now she does not even shop in Nigeria, all her cloths are best brands, classier than mine and even directly designs. Even her natives are done by Prada, so you need to step into the new life. You are lucky trust me.

Keep your faith aside if it has to do with faith, there is nothing out there better than where you are now. Do not exist mentally in heaven when you are supposed to enjoy Earth. This is your reality now. Join social cycles and step outside your comfort zone.

If you want some advise on how I was able to convince my wife, I will share a personal story, but trust me, you are in good hands, I literally quarreled with my wife then, but now she is the Fashionista, so wonderful that even at London, she is known in Social cycles and invited to Launching of brands like Ferrari, it started with dressing great and going out.

This is only shocking because we are talking about a woman who was an introvert and dressed like Deeper Life when I met her. The transformation gladdens my heart. Money is meant to change lives. Welcome to the club.

Biglittlelois:
Same comments that insults ladies going after guys with money are the same advising her to grab this opportunity, hypocrites

Op, listen to these comments at your own peril

my little big sister I tire o. the hypocrisy on this thread stinks. I am sure not even the devil can stand the stench.

donstan18:
It's either your villagers are tampering with your life or you are a deeper life girl.

What nonsense!

Break up with him and watch the next lady grab him for life.

You're lucky and should be grateful he's an expressive type of man who's always ready to back up whatever he wants from you with money. How happy will you be to watch him cheat and flirt with other ladies who are ready to live the life he wants from you.

He's from a very wealthy family and it's normal for him to see his woman look good and classy. Yes! It might seem like he's trying so hard to change you but that's not the only angle you should see it, look beyond, see it that he values and care for you so much that he wants you to turn to what he wants in his woman, rather than seeking it from other ladies.

I don't mean to call you poor, but I think you are suffering from what poor people suffer when they are mingling with wealthy folks. Inferiority complex and inability to be comfortable with classy lifestyle due to their background.

Don't loose that man.

He values and respect you, which is why he wants to change you to the kind of woman he wants, than attempting to get it outside. Do well to change a bit for him, don't change totally, just a bit.

you've said it all

Daeylar:
It seems like Hypocrisy, but to me they are still doing the same thing they have always done.

They're only working according to their end goal, which has always been bashing women, and trying to convince women that a man is the ultimate no matter what, so therefore pleasing such men, (or men in general) even at the expense of your self worth, your happiness, your peace of mind, should always be a woman's goal

That's why when the topic revolves around something like "men don't like women who marry for money" these same set come and bash women and tell then they shouldn't marry men for money, after all that's not what men want, And you know. A man is always right.

But in this topic where she is considering not marrying the man for money and considering her happiness and peace of mind, and ultimately her mental health. They can't have it. The man is the ultimate. Happiness and peace of mind for the woman be Damned. A woman should always do what a man wants. That's why you have that same set come out and tell her to manage and change herself for the man.

They don't care if it takes hypocrisy to achieve their end goal As long as the woman now knows that the man is always right no matter what nonsense he says or asks for, they are happy.

This site is a disgrace with the way the posters here support misogyny.

It sickens me.

nice points, never even looked at it from that perspective.

ehinmowo:
Na wa for you ooo! Can you see the kind of advice you are giving a 27 years old lady, who obviously needs improvement in her dressing life. And you are calling pple kids. I think this is d result of reading too much PERFECT-WORLD books. THE World is not perfect, deal with it.

It is easier to dish out some perfect-world ideas because you are a guy. When you see women in their 30s praying for come-as-you-are-guys, you will think twice. They are ready to foot the bills, pay for d welding, improve the guy's status, yet none is forthcoming.

There is nothing shameful or dehumanizing in making few adjustments here and there. Besides, you were born plain. Your present state now is as a result of adjustments. Love is first a sacrifice b4 anything else. If someone is finding it repulsive to shift ground because s/he has RIGHTS (and whatever name you pple call it), especially on libral things, it raises the question if there was love at all.

Baba this girl no get money, you still wnt menopause to visit her because of pompous ideas that are spread around by perfect-world books.

Dude, it's not about getting married. It's about staying married. It's about being happy and living in harmony with each other. As you can see this couple do not fit. They are fundamentally different and have no business been with each other. They don't even seem to share the same values in the first place and you are saying she should just marry him because he is not Mr. Perfect. No one is asking for the perfect guy what they are asking is for people with shared values and common pronciples.
Bros, one thing you should learn in life is that you shouldn't try to fit a square peg in a round hole. If it doesn't fit it doesn't fit. Stop trying to force it. Forcing things will only lead to frustration, time wasted and deformation (damage) of both entities because marriage is a lifetime thing and it's easier to get in than it is to get out. Don't be foolish like those people who went after the money and got trapped. It is not worth it.

donstan18:
It's either your villagers are tampering with your life or you are a deeper life girl.

What nonsense!

Break up with him and watch the next lady grab him for life.

You're lucky and should be grateful he's an expressive type of man who's always ready to back up whatever he wants from you with money. How happy will you be to watch him cheat and flirt with other ladies who are ready to live the life he wants from you.

He's from a very wealthy family and it's normal for him to see his woman look good and classy. Yes! It might seem like he's trying so hard to change you but that's not the only angle you should see it, look beyond, see it that he values and care for you so much that he wants you to turn to what he wants in his woman, rather than seeking it from other ladies.

I don't mean to call you poor, but I think you are suffering from what poor people suffer when they are mingling with wealthy folks. Inferiority complex and inability to be comfortable with classy lifestyle due to their background.

Don't loose that man.

He values and respect you, which is why he wants to change you to the kind of woman he wants, than attempting to get it outside. Do well to change a bit for him, don't change totally, just a bit.

This is a classy example of what nairaland should be; a place where solutions to challenges can be found not a dash board for slay mamas and papas. Desperate bloggers take note.

Hold your husband tight,do anything to keep his eyes with you.Don't let small ladies with big gods collect your husband

I thought introverts often claim they want extroverts in marriage.
obviously, in this case that is a mistake.


If you are a slay king, look for a slay queen like you.
Women that parties like everyday is the 4th of July.

If you are reserved and level headed like an introvert, then look for your kind.


Money has nothing to do with it.

Monday200:
Hello Nairalanders. Plz pardon my errors. Moderators please help with advice from pple

I'm a 27 while my boyfriend is 34,we've only dated for 7 months and he proposed to me last week. But the problem is that we are 2 different people,what he want is different from what I want.

He is from a rich family that likes flashing things, he always tell me to use make up when I say make up it not just foundation and lipstick every time am going out which I don't like at all I prefer using powder and lipstick and I use to tell him that I don't know how to do make ups yet he said he will get me a make ups artist. I don't know how am going to cope with that. Anytime we are going to see his family member or friends, he will always want me to over dress like it's a wedding day.

He likes going party a lot and anytime he ask me I will make up some excuse not to go and I don't know how long I will continue giving him excuse cos am an indoor person i don't like going out at all I only go out whenever am an having important things, there was a time he discovered and accused me of been ashamed of him that why I hate going out with him and its not like that.
He likes people prying into our privacy anytime we had a misunderstanding he will ask one of his friends to beg me on his behalf and I hate this.

He always want me to wear clothes that fit his standard like wearing heavy jewelries expensive one ,high heels,(he use to buy them for me cos his a rich dude ) he want a luxurious life while I only want a simple life. He can do anything to mk me look good and classy, he is always ready to spend for that.


My problem is do you think I can adapt to his lifestyle when we get married as I like being simple. Am scared.

Please my sister, let me give you an assignment because this is a life time decision you are about to take. No one on Nairaland will be held responsible if you begin to experience an unhappy marriage. A broken proposal is better than a broken marriage. Something is obviously lacking in the relationship from what I have read and that is Intimacy ! You both have not sat down to have a responsive communication, you are busy carried away with Passion and Commitment and this will not help you. Dont be carried away, you are 27 doesn't mean you are too young not to act like a woman who knows what she wants, take your time and read up about the Love Triangle on google which comprises Passion Intimacy and Commitment. Pick the lessons and apply it. Dont be lazy about this simple task. You will understand better ! You may have all the money and gifts at your disposal and he may have committed to you but I feel you guys lack intimacy and dont talk about these things you have mentioned here and if he keeps ignoring them then be prepared to face the consequences . A man cannot change you neither can you change him, you can only manage each other and choose to accept each other or not.

Daeylar:
It seems like Hypocrisy, but to me they are still doing the same thing they have always done.

They're only working according to their end goal, which has always been bashing women, and trying to convince women that a man is the ultimate no matter what, so therefore pleasing such men, (or men in general) even at the expense of your self worth, your happiness, your peace of mind, should always be a woman's goal.

That's why when the topic revolves around something like "men don't like women who marry for money" these same set come and bash women and tell then they shouldn't marry men for money, after all that's not what men want, And you know. A man is always right.

But in this topic where she is considering not marrying the man for money and considering her happiness and peace of mind, and ultimately her mental health. They can't have it. The man is the ultimate. Happiness and peace of mind for the woman be Damned. A woman should always do what a man wants. That's why you have that same set come out and tell her to manage and change herself for the man.

They don't care if it takes hypocrisy to achieve their end goal. As long as the woman now knows that the man is always right no matter what nonsense he says or asks for, they are happy.

This site is a disgrace with the way the posters here support misogyny.

It sickens me.

Hmmmmmmm, DEEP!

Monday200:
Hello Nairalanders. Plz pardon my errors. Moderators please help with advice from pple

I'm a 27 while my boyfriend is 34,we've only dated for 7 months and he proposed to me last week. But the problem is that we are 2 different people,what he want is different from what I want.

He is from a rich family that likes flashing things, he always tell me to use make up when I say make up it not just foundation and lipstick every time am going out which I don't like at all I prefer using powder and lipstick and I use to tell him that I don't know how to do make ups yet he said he will get me a make ups artist. I don't know how am going to cope with that. Anytime we are going to see his family member or friends, he will always want me to over dress like it's a wedding day.

He likes going party a lot and anytime he ask me I will make up some excuse not to go and I don't know how long I will continue giving him excuse cos am an indoor person i don't like going out at all I only go out whenever am an having important things, there was a time he discovered and accused me of been ashamed of him that why I hate going out with him and its not like that.
He likes people prying into our privacy anytime we had a misunderstanding he will ask one of his friends to beg me on his behalf and I hate this.

He always want me to wear clothes that fit his standard like wearing heavy jewelries expensive one ,high heels,(he use to buy them for me cos his a rich dude ) he want a luxurious life while I only want a simple life. He can do anything to mk me look good and classy, he is always ready to spend for that.


My problem is do you think I can adapt to his lifestyle when we get married as I like being simple. Am scared.

Ask yourself this question,if he didn't have money will you still be with him? That should make your answer easier. Take the money out of the equation and ask yourself can I live with this guy for the next 70 years or so of my life. That should make your answer easier.

donstan18:
It's either your villagers are tampering with your life or you are a deeper life girl.

What nonsense!

Break up with him and watch the next lady grab him for life.

You're lucky and should be grateful he's an expressive type of man who's always ready to back up whatever he wants from you with money. How happy will you be to watch him cheat and flirt with other ladies who are ready to live the life he wants from you.

He's from a very wealthy family and it's normal for him to see his woman look good and classy. Yes! It might seem like he's trying so hard to change you but that's not the only angle you should see it, look beyond, see it that he values and care for you so much that he wants you to turn to what he wants in his woman, rather than seeking it from other ladies.

I don't mean to call you poor, but I think you are suffering from what poor people suffer when they are mingling with wealthy folks. Inferiority complex and inability to be comfortable with classy lifestyle due to their background.

Don't loose that man.

He values and respect you, which is why he wants to change you to the kind of woman he wants, than attempting to get it outside. Do well to change a bit for him, don't change totally, just a bit.

I have just read what cannot be unread. And to think so many ignorant people liked your comment. It says a lot about the kind of youths we have these days

2buffagain:
Ignore what all these kids are saying.
Any relationship that requires a change in lifestyle from you that YOU DON'T WANT is not a relationship you should be in, no matter "how lucky you should feel to be in it".

People CAN change in a relationship, but it has to be a change that is in alignment with where you want to be. E.g you are not fit but dating a person into fitness, you probably have an interest in being healthy so would easily follow them to change your lifestyle. But in this case, you have no interest in slaying.
Maybe you should be with a more simple guy?


Since "body arts" isn't your thing, you might find it too hard and not worth it trying to compete with all the slay queens who all these things come easy to and who are no doubt eyeing your rich extroverted boyfriend right now. If he likes to go to parties a lot, all it takes after a few drinks is for that girl who meets his visual spec to be giving him dutty wine and he will last like a couple of weeks. Prepare to be cheated on to stupor if you already "don't know if you can cope" and yet choose to continue.

Awon Nkechi tin wo bobo e

If it was any other thing, I would talk about compromise and yada yada, but when it comes to a man's visual taste, that is something we can't even play with EVEN IF WE TRIED. I'm sure you've heard it said several times that men are visual.

Sure He sees something in you that he isn't seeing in these physical girls (loyalty, homeliness, etc), but the fact he is always trying to change your look shows that he too is making a mistake. Sooner or later, one person will have to grow up.

You are making perfect sense.

Believe me, he doesn't love you else he'll respect your feelings. And I'm suspecting that he's overbearing too. Like someone said up there, "it'll only get worse". Money is not everything. Paraventure, there's no money tomorrow, how do you think he'll behave. Think deep

Acidosis:
You're certainly going to regret this union.

Better don't allow the poor-man-mentality comments on this thread confuse you. Being a reserved and conservative person has nothing to do with wealth.

His actions are a result of his personality (not his money). Take away that wealth today, he'll still borrow to impress people, na so extroverted money miss road people dey do.

Don't force it, no one should force you to do what you wouldn't do on your own discretion. Love with your head and be calculative. Love should not make you go to the extreme. Listen to the comments on this thread at your own peril.

Honestly, I was shocked at how superficial and myopic people can be. I wonder the correlation between a person's personality and wealth. Zuckerberg, Gates, Dangote and co are multi billionaires yet they lead very simple lives because they are naturally reserved and private people.

Have you seen Zuckerberg's wife? I don't think I've ever seen her wearing gold jewellery, yet some shallow people here are calling the op 'poor'.

What we have here are people with two opposing temperaments and the onus lies on the op to decide what she wants from her relationship because I see her being miserable in the near future if she and her man do not find a compromise and she allows herself to try to be someone she is not

Seeing comments on this thread shows how low Nigerians think.. do y’all think dressing flashy and living a show off lifestyle means you are rich? To all those telling her to go date a poor man because she doesn't want that flashy lifestyles should remember that the ultra rich don’t show off but live in simplicity.. come to Anambra and you will see silent billionaires..

OP the only advice i can give you is to talk to your Man about it and whatever his take on it would decide if you stay or not.. A good man will definitely want to keep you and if he doesn’t change and you really want to be with him then whenever he wants to buy expensive stuffs for you go with him and pick expensive but simple stuffs you feel comfortable in.. if he really loves you As a Person then he will also change for you...Communication is the key..

At the end of the day, you should only stay if you are truly Happy..

donstan18:
It's either your villagers are tampering with your life or you are a deeper life girl.

What nonsense!

Break up with him and watch the next lady grab him for life.

You're lucky and should be grateful he's an expressive type of man who's always ready to back up whatever he wants from you with money. How happy will you be to watch him cheat and flirt with other ladies who are ready to live the life he wants from you.

He's from a very wealthy family and it's normal for him to see his woman look good and classy. Yes! It might seem like he's trying so hard to change you but that's not the only angle you should see it, look beyond, see it that he values and care for you so much that he wants you to turn to what he wants in his woman, rather than seeking it from other ladies.

I don't mean to call you poor, but I think you are suffering from what poor people suffer when they are mingling with wealthy folks. Inferiority complex and inability to be comfortable with classy lifestyle due to their background.

Don't loose that man.

He values and respect you, which is why he wants to change you to the kind of woman he wants, than attempting to get it outside. Do well to change a bit for him, don't change totally, just a bit.

This mentality is why Buhari will win 2019... Nigerians think so poor... i just can't imagine an adult wrote this..

Monday200:
Hello Nairalanders. Plz pardon my errors. Moderators please help with advice from pple

I'm a 27 while my boyfriend is 34,we've only dated for 7 months and he proposed to me last week. But the problem is that we are 2 different people,what he want is different from what I want.

He is from a rich family that likes flashing things, he always tell me to use make up when I say make up it not just foundation and lipstick every time am going out which I don't like at all I prefer using powder and lipstick and I use to tell him that I don't know how to do make ups yet he said he will get me a make ups artist. I don't know how am going to cope with that. Anytime we are going to see his family member or friends, he will always want me to over dress like it's a wedding day.

He likes going party a lot and anytime he ask me I will make up some excuse not to go and I don't know how long I will continue giving him excuse cos am an indoor person i don't like going out at all I only go out whenever am an having important things, there was a time he discovered and accused me of been ashamed of him that why I hate going out with him and its not like that.
He likes people prying into our privacy anytime we had a misunderstanding he will ask one of his friends to beg me on his behalf and I hate this.

He always want me to wear clothes that fit his standard like wearing heavy jewelries expensive one ,high heels,(he use to buy them for me cos his a rich dude ) he want a luxurious life while I only want a simple life. He can do anything to mk me look good and classy, he is always ready to spend for that.


My problem is do you think I can adapt to his lifestyle when we get married as I like being simple. Am scared.

people are very difficult to change
my guess is he is tying to eat his cake and have it. he likes the flashy, showy chicks but realizes they are not wife material, or at least the ones he has dated aren't
so he wants to marry you , a wife material chick [i guess] and to make you into a flashy , wife he can show off at parties.

this conflict will extend beyond your wedding and into all aspects of your life. if the guy can accept that you are simple and will always be, then fine. otherwise, the two of you may be going into a marriage full of conflict.

Monday200:
Hello Nairalanders. Plz pardon my errors. Moderators please help with advice from pple

I'm a 27 while my boyfriend is 34,we've only dated for 7 months and he proposed to me last week. But the problem is that we are 2 different people,what he want is different from what I want.

He is from a rich family that likes flashing things, he always tell me to use make up when I say make up it not just foundation and lipstick every time am going out which I don't like at all I prefer using powder and lipstick and I use to tell him that I don't know how to do make ups yet he said he will get me a make ups artist. I don't know how am going to cope with that. Anytime we are going to see his family member or friends, he will always want me to over dress like it's a wedding day.

He likes going party a lot and anytime he ask me I will make up some excuse not to go and I don't know how long I will continue giving him excuse cos am an indoor person i don't like going out at all I only go out whenever am an having important things, there was a time he discovered and accused me of been ashamed of him that why I hate going out with him and its not like that.
He likes people prying into our privacy anytime we had a misunderstanding he will ask one of his friends to beg me on his behalf and I hate this.

He always want me to wear clothes that fit his standard like wearing heavy jewelries expensive one ,high heels,(he use to buy them for me cos his a rich dude ) he want a luxurious life while I only want a simple life. He can do anything to mk me look good and classy, he is always ready to spend for that.


My problem is do you think I can adapt to his lifestyle when we get married as I like being simple. Am scared.

You sound like my girl's sister and its annoying sometimes. Yes it is good to be reserved, but use your wisdom.

I love heels; stilettos, gladiators and all those lovely ladies heels and lovely kinky gowns too but she hates them. Anytime I try to get one for her she will blatantly refuse and say they are too high or that its not cool, sometimes it makes me feel like giving up on her

I love long hair like this https://www.respectablereviews.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/best-flat-iron-for-black-hair.jpg but she prefers all these jagajaga old mama hair like this [img]http://1.bp..com/_Sna8dVq06ws/TNm_TaWc4BI/AAAAAAAAAWg/8EijpoFVMxU/s1600/100_6349.JPG[/img]

I have talked, I don tire. Its frustrating when u are trying to make someone look good and she prefers to look like mgbeke.

Yes a guy saw slay queens and decided to go for u, he might love slay queen's fashion sense but hate their character and attitude which is why he chose u, why not try and adapt to good fashion sense for both of u to be happy

Sometime last year, I had some cash with me and was thinking of getting my girl a car because I love to see ladies drive and I don't like her trekking around and going on bike which I consider risky considering that its mostly Abokis that are now riding bikes in cities, but she prefers trekking and biking, and even the day I hinted her about my plans to get her a car she can be using whenever she comes around, she rejected the idea and made me felt so bad like a fool That would have ended the relationship if not for my friends that made me see good reasons to her actions, but now she has started admiring driving which I had been convincing her to learn. So you too op will start to appreciate what your man is trying to do for u sometime later, be careful so it won't be too late.

My eldest sister also have this same disgusting attitude towards driving and traveling back then....to the extent my in-law her hubby bought her a car and she refused to drive it, not until she started seeing more ladies around where they live driving luxury cars and driving their kids to school that she then went to learn to drive and now she enjoys driving more than even her hubby.

Yes it is good to be a modest and reserved lady, it pays...its attractive to most guys but don't remain stagnant and stubborn to change even when your man is yawning for it and ready to provide it for u to look good and meet up to lovely standard. So long as he is not forcing u to do bad things like smoking, clubbing around, going half naked, drinking, etc, then its not bad.

We guys are visual beings....any lady that wants to keep a guy forever must strive to always entice his eyes....men are moved mostly by what they see....that's why we get carried away easily by big bombom and all those big big ukwu, pity guys

Try and change to suit his taste small....though I am not a fan of makeup.

Myself I have tried to change too for my girl...like I hate strolling around with leg but she likes strolling in the evening time...so whenever she is around and requests we stroll, initially I always tell her to get in the car so we can go out if she wants to go out, but no she doesn't really want to go out, she just wants to stroll with leg which I hate. So with time, as I discovered that she always feel bad and moody whenever I refuse to stroll with her, I started trying to do it once in a while to make her happy. So relationship or dating requires sacrifice from both parties to work.

Don't lose that guy because of flimsy reasons o, be careful, adapt small...do light makeup...me I hate makeup and thank God my girl hates it too, good luck sis

This isn’t why the rich marry the rich.

This kind of inferiority drama does not exist.

SirMichael1:
I guess we read different stuffs 'cause from what I read, there wasn't any part that implied that he tried to adapt a bit to her standard. Why does he always force his opinions on her? The type of dress to put on, makeup type and the rest.

If he 'bends' for her, she won't be feeling suffocated in the relationship. The fiancé is control freak. My way or no way.

She is only complaining about his part. But she hasn't told us the parts where he also went out of his way for her. Or do you think a man in love won't go out of his way for his woman?

Marriage is not a 5 year or ten year program. If the foundation be destroyed, what can the righteous do. If he is not anywhere going to where you are going, please reconsider that union.