foyeks2001:
Mr Man, u r a selfish being ...u asked someone that has the lion share of the said landed property to pack out of her own house. God is watching you.

May be he said it because he was very angry. Anger is a very bad thing.It can destroy anything.The wife must have said a lot of nasty things to push him to the wall.

oshe11:
Exactly my thought and why I didnt support her at first......



Lemme shock You

Lemme burst your brain....

She MIGHT have cheated on You and thats why she wanted to accuse you of being a cheat, so she can validate herself for cheating because you cheated



I knew she was angry when you helped your parents but didnt wanna show it and thats why she decided to put ONLY her name......

If she felt what she did was reasonable, why did she collect money from you to complete the house?

Why didnt she tell you her plans of putting ONLY her name just like you told her about yours from Adam?

Its obvious you trusted the wrong woman, hence you didnt bother to check THE DOCUMENTS....


IN ALL YOU'VE WRITTEN;

This is my Favorite quote "I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if....."


This is the link to HER ONE-SIDED STORY
https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294

Once you move out, please don't make the mistake of letting feel comfortable around her! A woman that is bleeping with anger and fury has no limit to despicable cruelty! Be watchful and prayerful, You are within a dying rage when you live with a sad woman! it is better to leave her and move on! Let me shock with an interesting insight, she will not forget or will never forget this bad period in the marriage and by grace if both of you live graciously old and grey! She will treat your Bleep up! I swear down! it is that period she will travel to see one one grandchildren, to stay with her children and live with her children while she bring in a house maid to take of you! Man be wise!

DonPiiko:
Nonsense this one is just carrying shoulder for nothing, your wife is a smart woman. Go and build your own house with your name alone. Some men have it so good though, a lady builds you a house and you want it all to yourself.

Why did the lady not tell him from the beginning that the house is fully her own not his own?

Could that have influenced his decision? Don't you think he was being deceived by the lady all along.

She could have told him the truth. Maybe he would have been more cautious, stayed in rented apartment and started building another house for his family. Maybe he would have realized his wife can be treacherous and realized the need not to trust her

abike12:
lazy man. you cannot inherit a house with bullying, intimidation and threats, go and work and build your own like your mates. if you want to leave her, please do. for your wife to come and write here for people to insult you then she's ready for you either way. good riddance.

Thank you. Even with his narration alone, I could still fault him a thousand ways. He just want to lose a good wife because of his too much ego.
Whenever my wife disappointed me and I wanted to lose my head while reacting, I would just remind and tell myself, this is a good wife. I should let this one pass.

maasoap:


Pls, drop that line. The stubbornness of both of them was already destroying his house the wife came online here. Why couldn't they resolve the issue between themselves?

This is not even a serious issue in my opinion, they just decided to blow it out of proportion.
The husband too should chill, and come down from his high horse. What the wife did was bad but he shouldn't forget to remember the good sides of his wife in this moment because that's what makes you forgive and forget.

Wanting the complete change of name on the house document is just a punishment which is extreme and unnecessary.

Who even told him that he can have the custody of the children who are likely minors. The Africa and crude mentality in him is still manifesting in him. The same way you want only your name on the documents. If you insist on having the custody of the children to yourself, what makes you think that your wife won't go to court? Who do you think is likely to have the custody?

Forgive your wife, accept joint ownership of the house. Or better still, tell her to put up the house for sale. Don't lose a good wife just because of one minor issue.

Then, why is your wife suspecting you of cheating on her all of a sudden, why not before? If you are flirting, better quit it if you don't know how to hide it.

You guys should agree on solution to this MINOR ISSUE and move on with your lives together.

Copy extraextra heseesall

bro the wife from the beginning has an ulterior motive and sinister motive hence putting in her name as the house onwer her support from the beginning was for a purpose she was never interested in the family gains rather she More interested in her personal gain .

My wife will be restricted in doing somethings I will cut down excesses if you give a woman free hands you are indeed digging your grave if you don't end up in grave you end up as a forgotten man in the society

Always check your wife excesses

This is why it's never good to judge before hearing from both parties involved. when I read her story, told my brother that she's written it out how it'll favor her. She never made mention of how you used the remaining money with you to contribute to the house, she never mentioned your dad's health issues. Any sane child will use whatever money he's earmarked for any project to treat his sick father.
I'm not hear to side any of you but whatever decision you take, remember the kids. I know of a girl whose parents divorced when she was a kid. She was so lively as a kid but after the divorce, she grew up to be so withdrawn and antisocial. School performances dropped.
for the sake of your kids, you both should compromise and shift grounds.

Nihilstjnr:


sharrap.

He asked her to leave the house, and only moved out when he realised that he wasn't legally entitled to kick her out of the house.

Why do you think he's now asking for the deeds of the house to be transferred to his name only?

he had lived with the wife under the same roof for years but never enquire ownership cos he completely love and trust the wife. infact he believe in marriage.

asking the wife to change the document was a psychological response to the shock he got and if the wife was smart enough to have obliged, he could've got relaxed and reassured of her committment to marriage but rather she contested it that reinforce the fact that she's self centred.

the man tested the love with what she "prized" most and she failed!

I know this is a last phase of the thread, but if you ever get to read this... Kindly take my advice. Also, this is to a lot of Nairalanders, let's not be hassles before dropping a descion, especially on families. To be honest, when I first read her thread, I just concluded that...I had to wait for another part before responding. Thank God you did.


Your faults:

You didn't confirm the house was not in your both names before moving in. You should have checked the documents. I am very sure if you knew the building was in her name from the initial stage you won't get this mad... You probably might not have moved in. Which again, might be understandable.
Even if it was in your name, sir... I think, you don't have the right to send her out of your home. Sometimes women needs to be completely explained to. You break it to peices for her...
Hey woman, this is me here.. be got nothing am hiding from you.. I am not cheating on you. It's obvious you still love your wife...but you need to temper your ego. It broke, be a man.. pick it up.. and bring up otions that are favourable for not just you, but her, and the people you brought in to the world. Knock it off sir.
Moving back to the house with her name on it might demoralize you, so don't...but if she agrees on changing it..to both of you, then do please. But not only you, c'mon.

Her fault:

You had this burnt anger long ago, hence you did it without telling your hubby.
You could have easily opened up to him.. sugar, you spent your money on Dad's health (note I said dad, not "your dad"...I will spend mine on a home, but it will be in my name... Trust me, any man in a situation trying to save his folks, will understand and agree with you. You didn't have to keep it away from him. (It's very sad you took advantage of his situation). Would he have left his dad's health to deteriorate if he had the money, and all he cared about was a home.
It's pretty sad that you betrayed your husband's trust, the least you could have intialy done was to let him know.. okay oo, this building is not in your name, it's mine.. if he is an understanding man, he'd have moved in with you, with a goal of building a main family home for you guys. It's not the name that is an issue, get it right...(I mean you could have easily inherited a property from your dad in your name).. it's not the name... But the trust.
C'mon, it could have been your dad who was ill, or bedridden... Don't take the advantage of your well to do family over him. Are you telling me, if it was your parents who were in that condition, he would start thinking my money, your money.
Wifey, you could have easily told your husband...long ago, that the house was yours.
Naturally, you pushed your husband to him asking you to get out of the house...(with your consistent trust issues) Which is wrong.
Your husband cares about you, that's one off...and don't listen to some opinions up there... He truly does. It's okay to be angry... Most men will ignore the issue, and move off your way.


*******

Let's look beyond the property. Please...

Something happened that triggered the issue. His dad was ill...that's the wrongest time to start deciding your money my money.

I can only imagine how terrific it was if it was her dad Ill, and he starts throwing this sort of things to your face... How would you have felt?.. once you are married, all parents become 1.


Again, sir... To be honest I think you have some ego issues. In my opinion, thier are 2 things that you can accept.

She changes the name to Mr and Mrs.. you accept it. Or, she leaves the house and moves to a newer place with you, within the city. (Within)

I can understand your vile by asking her to change it to your name alone, but you messed up by not checking the details initially... So let it fly.


*****

My last advice, please don't listen to some Nairalanders.. and it goes to madam too.. please. I beg you. You guys have kids.. if you don't love yourselves enough, you won't come online to venge your anger, you obviously do..

And both parties are looking for some sort of sympathy... But in the process, don't let Nairalanders mislead you. Please.

Thanks.

Wallade:


Why did the lady not tell him from the beginning that the house is fully her own not his own?

Could that have influenced his decision? Don't you think he was being deceived by the lady all along.

She could have told him the truth. Maybe he would have been more cautious, stayed in rented apartment and started building another house for his family. Maybe he would have realized his wife can be treacherous and realized the need not to trust her

The wife's action was bad, we all agreed on that. Why wanting everything to himself now? He's not even protecting his wife and children against the family trouble in case anything happens to him along the way.

spongeisback:
It's only a wicked person that would support him. The wife even tried to cover him up and he came to disgrace himself. How can you send your wife packing because of an argument

The wife is more matured. She didn't go into details but the husband did.

Hahahahaha this one weak me.

Plolly:

it's obvious u are not in good health condition with this ur stupid comment. Must u talk

You are right sis; I suspect mental health.

eyinjuege:
How you had the audacity to even mention your wife should leave a home she has labored for beggars belief.
She brought the business idea, she brought her own share of the money, you guys made money and shared it equally , you spent your own share on important matters too, she bought the land and starts building , you built your parents home which is also important, yet your mouth was not heavy enough to ask your wife to pack out?
You are a devil sir, no matter how you try to paint it. A destiny destroyer. Any body that decides not to see your evil ways will be treated same way you did your wife, you didn't want her to eat the fruit of her labor.
Spare me the BS of loving her, and just joking with her about that rubbish that came out of your mouth that she should pack out.
I wish you family the best sha, but i would still advice your wife to keep her property in her name. If her work allows a transfer to where you are based, she may follow you, otherwise let her face her work.
The children should stay where it makes sense for them to. If it would affect their schooling, let them stay back where they are. If they are old enough, they can equally stay with their father. Nothing wrong with that, their mother can always visit.

He might not really meant that statement leave my house. It is not easy for a man to leave with a nasty woman who frustrates her man.The man was very angry at that moment. Talking from my real experience.

TonyeBarcanista:
I concur

Seconded

That woman story no dey straight I swear, but to marry dey fear me o

Wallade:


Given all that you have heard from both sides, you would rather blame the husband.

Why did she add his money if she knew she wanted the house to be fully her own?

Why did she hide the title of the property from her husband till they had a quarrel?

Why infuriate her husband to that extent with abuses and disrespect?

Every of her actions show that from the day the husband decided to utilize some money to care for his dad, the wife developed a sinister plan. She is a treacherous and clever woman. She outdid him with the plan and if I were the husband, I can no longer trust her again.

But husband is now demanding for the same thing.

Analysiscorner:

What stopped her from doing the paper work in both names? Or, tell him of her plans to do it in her name?

She started the whole thing with her money alone! It was quarter to finish that oga added his money.

Oga ExtraExtra and Madam Heseesall, Marriage is always work in progress. Yes there will be insults sometimes motivated by anger but it shouldn't cost us our homes and endanger the future of the kids.
A good peacemaker does not go around labelling anyone with blames. So I wouldn't blame anyone.
There is no perfect marriage. Not even our old parents marriages are perfect. My Dad use to say 'If you are looking for a perfect spouse, you'll remain single and alone forever." Another quote of his is 'One parter must be hot and the other must cold for a marriage to work. One partner will be 'Mumu' while the other be 'sensible' for the marriage to work. This is how our parents built their marriages. I get sense pass you, will destroy marriage quicker than anything else.

Children from broken homes have it harder out there, emotionally, intellectually, socially and otherwise. Your divorce will burn them badly. So that must never come into the picture.

Verbal shots have fired, like its done in so many marriages, even sucessful ones. But it is time to delete all that and think about the kids. All properties acquired together should reflect 'Mr and Mrs' for the sake of peace.

When provocation happens one of you should let and go of the grievances, think about the kids and build the home. Two parties can not be mad at the same time. Restraint, Restraint is word that have prevented 'had I known' in many families.
Let there be a middle ground. May peace be upon your marriage.

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public..........

Oga! If I am in your shoes, my conclusion will be:

She has betrayed my trust in her and I will find it difficult to trust her anymore.

She has revealed the treacherous, cunning and wicked part of her. This is not because she built a house for herself and whoever but because all along, she made that decision to be sole title owner of the property and hide that fact from you; without knowing how foolish you are, you must have been spending your money on her, perhaps her family, your family, children and some frivolous things without knowing you have no house.

That she has the property in her name only puts up a question about trust. However, that she hid it from you shows treachery and wickedness. That she revealed it to you and weaponized it against you indicated that she can be devastating, heinous and absolute when she decides to decimate and eliminate you.

My guy, beware of this woman! Instead, run away for dear life. There is no need to get her to change title of the property because she will start several other plans to decimate and outsmart you anyway. She doesn't trust you and I believe you know now that you shouldn't trust her.

It is a difficult decision but you will have to take a decision despite my advice which you can discard at your own risk.

freshvine:
poster, property belong to your wife atleast legally. She didn't build it for love, she built it that one day you wont be a "member" of the family sad reality it is too soon otherwise a house built as a home should've the couple's signatory to it.

do not mind people supporting evil here. the got blinded with the fact that ur wife has been emotionally harrassing you but picked the "get out of this house here" as though it meant "pack ur things and leave my house'' but will be quick to encourage "you should've leave the house to cool off". i dont know how get out of this house is worst than verbal abuse.

the step you've taken is the best step. STAY OFF THE PROPERTY.

Women who act as your wife are mostly insecure.

That's the sad reality. Most women who adopt this strategy go into marriage with the mindset of losing their husbands to the cold hands of death (or a side chick). Many of them sometimes get what they planned.

The hypocrisy/worthlessness of many marriages these days is becoming very evident.

sisisioge:


No one is saying he shouldn't have spent on his family, all I'm saying is that he should be very fair by putting his mouth where his money is! I'm guessing the eventual contribution is around 85% to 15%...why in the world would he want his name alone on the deed? Pure greed ...pure undiluted fraudulent greed! He should go and lay claim to his parent's house, after all, he built it.

Clearly,the house belongs to the woman since her name is on the document,but the man was very angry when he said leave my house.So we should know that he was frustrated at that moment.I have said nasty things to my wife during hot arguement but I did not mean it. The man should protect his marriage,he should get a new house and move on with the wife and kids if he wants.Trust is important in marriage.

maxiuc:
bro the wife from the beginning has an ulterior motive and sinister motive hence putting in her name as the house onwer her support from the beginning was for a purpose she was never interested in the family gains rather she More interested in her personal gain .

My wife will be restricted in doing somethings I will cut down excesses if you give a woman free hands you are indeed digging your grave if you don't end up in grave you end up as a forgotten man in the society

Always check your wife excesses

The wife has accepted her mistake and ready to amend. But the problem now is Mr husband wanting everything to himself. Joint ownership or selling off is enough but separation or divorce is too extreme.
Now, he's blackmailing his wife with separation and possibly divorce. Not good enough.

And my wife had hinted me last week her intention to buy land for building construction, her headache.

sisisioge:


Your story corroborated hers sir! You guys are on exactly the same page! Summary, you wanted her to change the name on a property you just confirmed that she owns the lion share of to your name alone! Awwww...you are so smart!

Anyways, my understanding of the story as pulled from your story and hers says you were practically trying to defraud her!

1. She got the property (landed)
2. She did the paper works
3. She started building
4. You spent your own money on your parents's house
5. The remaining money, which you admitted isn't much was used to finish the house.

God is still in heaven, be fair in your dealings oga sir! Whew!

The emboldened is uncalled for! This is a home being threatened at the moment. The wife acknowledged his ego has been battered and sought out the way to go. Indeed he isn't innocent because the story might not have come to light if he didn't ask her to leave.

The problem was communication. The wife must have felt he was playing a fast one by spending his profits on his parents and their home while the he felt his wife would do the needful - by buying the property in their name since he has a token in it.

Regardless, it's marriage and while people take several stance on how properties should be bought and in whose name, your breakdown is somewhat disturbing. While you are more concerned about the property here, you failed to mention trust which I believe is lost now.

I see no reason why you must interpret her words to mean some other things.

GrammarCheck:
Two of you are not serious.

Of all things on Earth to fight about it is this trivial matter

Yo call this trivial? Yo are insecure. What happens if the man is jobless? How would he be different from a gateman or treated. U guessed right: the same. When money is all there is to love , what then are we in marriages ?! Partners. Business partners. That's just sad. I would be plague with what her thought process were to have done what she did. In a subconscious level ,the man didn't think he deserve the credit for the house but at any rate ,he was in a marriage and ego or entitlement wasn't going to make him think of himself as a lesser man or feel insecure around his wife hence why ask for specific information detailing the house ownership? Not that he cannot build a house if he wanted to but he had a home rather to build. Even ,imperatively he had a life to save or provide for: his father , the woman' father inlaw! What the woman has done is equivalent to watching her inlaw crash and burn when she easily could have use her life sayings to extend a life.Thats assuming if her husband had no dime that is. I say again: is there really love? Cos these and many more are expectations-within women-of us men. Even from mere freindship with the opposite sex, through dating til death do us part. If you cant give why recieve. This is just wrong. He that giveth is alway blessed more. "He" here is not discriminatory.. The the book of the Lord isnt.
And to be frank the problem here isn't no longer about whose names is on the documents. But the crack in the wall that is leading to whole other stuff. Even changing the name now won't heal the wound. Recommitting and communication amid apologies would. Good luck

jolyment:


Clearly,the house belongs to the woman but the man was very angry when he said leave my house.So we should know that he was frustrated at that moment.I have said nasty things to my wife during hot arguement but I did not mean it.

We understand. Despite having had several opportunities to calm down up till now, oga sir is still saying he would like to absolutely own the house. One would wonder if to ensure the next time he angrily says that, it becomes law!

Correction, marriage is not 99% dependent on a woman for success especially when a man is supposed to be the head and leader of the home.

You, oga are very unfair to your wife. Imagine if it was your sister, daughter or even mother going through this crisis. If she was my sister, I won't find fault with her at all. She never acted as if the house was hers, it's clear that it's in her name for security reasons. If not, she would be a destitute today as you are capable of asking her to leave because of an ordinary argument. Oga, you have the property which you built for your parents, me and you know that it's your property not your parents. I read your wive's thread but ignored it thinking she was lying as women can be full of drama but you have confirmed the truth. You are 95% wrong.

jolyment:


Clearly,the house belongs to the woman since her name is on the document,but the man was very angry when he said leave my house.So we should know that he was frustrated at that moment.I have said nasty things to my wife during hot arguement but I did not mean it. The man should protect his marriage,he should get a new house and move on with the wife and kids if he wants.Trust is important in marriage.

But he still insists that that's the only way they can live together.

I am one of the people that commented on her thread and my recommendation was based purely on information provided. Now , I feel I am wrong after reading this thread.
I hereby tender unreserved apologies for concluding based on one sided account.
Now this is my suggestion, both sides needs to shift position a bit. if I may borrow IBB slang, a little to the left and a little to the right. Please don't insist she change it to your name alone, let the house be in your joint names Mr and Mrs. Secondly, I wish to state that most marriages failed these days because couple don't always want to concede to each other, but for the sake of your children who I presume you both love please reconcile. Don't put them through the pain of going through broken family.
God has not made mistake by blessing you as a family to be able to raise money to build a house, he didn't allow the business to lead you into debts you can't pay, he choose to bless you. It appears you two are not able to manage God's blessings? Perhaps you should both drop your ego and visit couples praying night and day for God to bless them to be able to pay house rents and or build their own house.
Yes it appears trust has been broken but it is human to fail. Jesus told the accuser of the woman caught in adultry in the holy bible he without sin to cast the first stone. Are you without sin. Please forgive each other and move on.

Madam landlady u see ur life, u ran here nd twist d story to favour u,how foolish can u be......see how u use ur hand to destroy d home/family u build becos of greed, shey u want to carry house for head abi,,,,kontinue

Sanchez01:

The emboldened is uncalled for! This is a home being threatened at the moment. The wife acknowledged his ego has been battered and sought out the way to go. Indeed he isn't innocent because the story might not have come to light if he didn't ask her to leave.

The problem was communication. The wife must have felt he was playing a fast one by spending his profits on his parents and their home while the he felt his wife would do the needful - by buying the property in their name since he has a token in it.

Regardless, it's marriage and while people take several stance on how properties should be bought and in whose name, your breakdown is somewhat disturbing. While you are more concerned about the property here, you failed to mention trust which I believe is lost now.

I see no reason why you must interpret her words to mean some other things.

You will have to pardon me because you just wrote what I wrote in other words. I kinda follow the wife's thought line too, especially now that he's demanding to have his name alone on the title. Remember, the wife offered to put both their names on it now but oga sir refused! Again, you're gonna have to pardon me.

I am so glad to men standing up for the op's wife. Op confirmed the wife's narration in the previous thread.

metro10:
Mr. Man, you are very deceptive. I won’t buy your lies. I know the game you were playing on your woman. My dad did play that same game on my mother, until she wised-up.

You used your part to take care of your dad and used the rest to build a home for your parent and still expect to be treated as co equal in the real estate? Others can lie to you to inflate your ego, I won’t. You did tell her to leave the house, mistake number one. We wouldn’t be talking about this this way today, if she was dumb and stupid not to have used her name. The lady would be on the street today with no where to go. You’re here telling us it was a joke. Stop lying. I believe you have an affair. You want to push her out, bring in another lady and treat her like a fool.

She was wise and thank God for that. My dad did the same thing to my mother. He will use her cars, trash them and still push her out. She built a house, he drove her out, sold the house and messed her up. Finally, she got some common sense, built another house and gave me the documents as her first son. That he couldn’t take. My dad was like take my mums money, squandered them on the other woman and still come to trash her.

Ladies, please be wise! Imagine he saying she should change the documents to his name ONLY. Thief. Ole. Be a man, go build a house, bring them all in there. Let her rent her house for investment purposes. The true test of your love for her is to do this and prove to her, your kids and US that you truly love your FAMILY!

Don’t deceive this man to deceive the wife. God is watching you all!

You came from a broken or at best a loveless and dysfunctional home. Your first statement gave you away. Just make sure the baggages your mother's attitude has successfully hung around your neck do not pull your own marriage down.

Reading comments from some folks here, I now appreciate the extent of healing the family system needs. Where is love, submission, sacrifice, tolerance etc that used to be the hallmark of marriages. Why wouldn't the type of families we have these days be the breeding place of criminals that are now everywhere defrauding people and doing all kinds of money rituals.

Ziggylady:



Really??..and do you know the number of women feeding their husbands??....I dislike broken marriage except on grounds of domestic violence,but if the selfish man insists,i hope his wife stands strong and moves on with her life..

The man on the other hand should do well to stay single and not saddle any other woman with his idiosyncrasies

Seriously it is hard to leave with a woman sometimes,my wife made me go crazy recently just because of delay in my salary. She told me she cannot be the one to feed the family when we have food to even eat and she knows I just bought some plots of land and invested in farming aside my salary job.