ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

Processor01:
1. Your wife brought the business idea - check
2. You both executed the business - check
3. You split the money equally - error
4. Unfortunately, your dad was ill and you used your own portion - check
5. You used the remaining portion to build a house for your parents - check
6. Your wife decided to use hers to build a house for the family - check
7. You supported the project and even contributed the little portion that was left of your money - check
8. Your wife puts the property in her name alone - error
9. You both get into an argument or as you said, she was verbally abusive on a particular day - error
10. Rather than pick your keys and step out or go cool off, you ask her to "get out of your house" - error
11. In her anger, she let's you know it's in her name - error
12. You get upset and move out of the house, abandoning her and your kids - error
13. To ease the tension, she offers to correct her error by putting both your names but you insist it must be your name alone - error
14. You initiate a transfer at your office to another state, without any second thoughts for your kids, at least - error
15. You are willing to let this relationship burn if she doesn't bow down and worship you - error


Oga, YOU ARE A WICKED MAN!!!


You start your write up with that nonsense to put the burden of keeping the marriage on the woman.
No Sir! You are the man, the head and the captain of that ship! If it goes down because of what you have presented here, then it is because of your pride and lack of wisdom.

Wallade:


Why did the lady not tell him from the beginning that the house is fully her own not his own?

Could that have influenced his decision? Don't you think he was being deceived by the lady all along.

She could have told him the truth. Maybe he would have been more cautious, stayed in rented apartment and started building another house for his family. Maybe he would have realized his wife can be treacherous and realized the need not to trust her

iboboyswag:


You see them... beware of this kind of people and their advices!

The person I know behind this moniker is a proud, insulting and an uncultured girl but see how she is talking about her girlfriend and giving advice... well what do I know? the world is turning upside down!
Girl? I'm a man but my wife uses the acct cos she is a freelancer. My wife is not uncultured Biko although sometimes she tends to say heartbreaking stuffs to people.

Encore

Oga, I read your wife's epistle and now I have read yours... the truth is that you are seeking answers where you won't find any. Another reality check, you are indeed proud like your wife asserted. In the heat of argument you also insulted her, she may have gone overboard with insulting your family but that is not enough and i mean even with only her name on the house, it is not enough to try and break your marriage.

Note; this not boyfriend and girlfriend matter... Na Marriage be this one o!

kill your pride and man up! it's your family you have now... your parents and siblings will leave but you, that nagging, sexy, beautiful and overbearing wife and the children you both sired in love and sexual estacy are what will remain.

Reprimand her but never again threaten her with separation.

Thank you and God bless your home.

sisisioge:


Your story corroborated hers sir! You guys are on exactly the same page! Summary, you wanted her to change the name on a property you just confirmed that she owns the lion share of to your name alone! Awwww...you are so smart!

Anyways, my understanding of the story as pulled from your story and hers says you were practically trying to defraud her!

1. She got the property (landed)
2. She did the paper works
3. She started building
4. You spent your own money on your parents's house
5. The remaining money, which you admitted isn't much was used to finish the house.

God is still in heaven, be fair in your dealings oga sir! Whew!

oshe11:
Exactly my thought and why I didnt support her at first......



Lemme shock You

Lemme burst your brain....

She MIGHT have cheated on You and thats why she wanted to accuse you of being a cheat, so she can validate herself for cheating because you cheated

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they makeow, she made her bed she should lay on it.

sisisioge:


Your story corroborated hers sir! You guys are on exactly the same page! Summary, you wanted her to change the name on a property you just confirmed that she owns the lion share of to your name alone! Awwww...you are so smart!

Anyways, my understanding of the story as pulled from your story and hers says you were practically trying to defraud her!

1. She got the property (landed)
2. She did the paper works
3. She started building
4. You spent your own money on your parents's house
5. The remaining money, which you admitted isn't much was used to finish the house.

God is still in heaven, be fair in your dealings oga sir! Whew!

iboboyswag:


You see them... beware of this kind of people and their advices!

The person I know behind this moniker is a proud, insulting and an uncultured girl but see how she is talking about her girlfriend and giving advice... well what do I know? the world is turning upside down!


Encore

Oga, I read your wife's epistle and now I have read yours... the truth is that you are seeking answers where you won't find any. Another reality check, you are indeed proud like your wife asserted. In the heat of argument you also insulted her, she may have gone overboard with insulting your family but that is not enough and i mean even with only her name on the house, it is not enough to try and break your marriage.

Note; this not boyfriend and girlfriend matter... Na Marriage be this one o!

kill your pride and man up! it's your family you have now... your parents and siblings will leave but you, that nagging, sexy, beautiful and overbearing wife and the children you both sired in love and sexual estacy are what will remain.

Reprimand her but never again threaten her with separation.

Thank you and God bless your home.

cococandy:


Everyone is bitter in you people’s opinions. You regurgitate what you’ve seen others type. No thinking of your own

Stop sounding like a horde of flies buzzing without anything reasonable to say.

sisisioge:


I understand. But from the story they both agreed on, the woman had bought the property, done the paper work and started building before oga added his money to it. While doing this, oga was taking care of his father's health and building his parents house with his own share o. Safe to say, all paper works were done before his money got on it and since they both shared their profit and each did as they pleased with his/her share. Be objective, she probably 85% owns the property. Despite that, she's offered to have his name on it too but he ain't buying! What name would you call that? Please be candid.

appsdope:
Oh extra extra so she just started insulting you. She said the same thing as you. You both had an argument and you asked her to leave. although she didn't go into details. Bad mouth is the nearest synonym to women and I knew from the onset that she said a lot of nasty things. My ex girlfriend insulted me to the extent that she told me that my father was born out of wedlock. I never told her that o and I didnt know but Somehow she knew.
By the way since when did get the hell out of my house become a joke? How will we know if you meant it? She bought the land and started the project so how on earth are you supposed to own the property? The house shouldn't be in your name in the first place. The property is hers. Rent an apartment and move your family that's if you still want the marriage. As for the house, it belongs to her. Go and build your own. As for me, I cant stay in a house where a woman bought even the spoon. Because when you use that spoon to eat and there is an issue, she will tell you how that spoon she bought has been saving your life forgetting that you bought every other thing.

oshe11:
Exactly my thought and why I didnt support her at first......71294

ExtraExtra:

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

freshvine:


See how you twist logic...ignorance is indeed a bliss!

you'll build a house in your kids name and shut out their father and you think in their adult age they'll be like, "dad, this is our house, u are not a member".

how is it even possible to separate a bloodline cos of mere possession?

appsdope:
Girl? I'm a married man but my wife uses the acct cos she is a freelancer. My wife is not uncultured Biko although sometimes she tends to say heartbreaking stuffs to people.

Look, I support women who start their own businesses and have their own money. Folorunsho Alakija won't be a billionaire if she was building in she and her husband's name. A man and his wife should own separate businesses and finances so that family finances will be very easy to manage and we can really have the best. A financially buoyant woman is a huge blessing to her husband.. I support heseesall to own and build in her name. It's her sweat Biko. There is nothing like what belongs to me belongs to my wife and vice versa. Contribute ur own quota to the family and I'll contribute mine. That way we can give our kids the best. If she had invested her own share of the money I'm sure we won't be reading this or if she had done the business alone. OP the success a family does not only depend on the woman. Thoughts like this makes fathers day boring and makes it look like men are only in the family for funds. How can u let ur wife do 99% of the home making. What exactly do u do? Oga ur ego is too much. So u think that court will let you take the children and live with them? Biko iron out things and live happy.

tabithababy:


Hope she has changed the name to yours now

Mtcheeeeew

The greatest mistake she made is that she supposed to have used her own part of the money to take care or build house for her parent as well

appsdope:
Girl? I'm a married man but my wife uses the acct cos she is a freelancer. My wife is not uncultured Biko although sometimes she tends to say heartbreaking stuffs to people.

Look, I support women who start their own businesses. Folorunsho Alakija won't be a billionaire if she was building in she and her husband's name. A man and his wife should own separate businesses and finances so that family finances will be very easy to manage. A financial buoyant woman is a huge blessing to her husband.. I support he sees all to own her own business and make investments. There is nothing like what belongs to me belongs to my wife and vice versa. Contribute ur own quota to the family and I'll contribute mine. If she had invested her own share of the money I'm sure we won't be reading this or if she had done the business alone. OP the success a family does Tommy depend on the woman. Thoughts like this makes fathers day boring. How can u let ur wife do 99% of the home making. What exactly do u do? Oga ur ego is too much. So u think that court will let you take the children and live with them? Biko iron out things and live happy.

Ijaya123:


There is no wisdom in this comment.

Platony:

Negodu nkita one chance,..
Meh chionu der, ishi adi ro mma!!
Jeh nodana biko!!

MarieSucre:


Uncle the only reason we know she is from a well to do background is because he briefly mentioned it, he did not even bring it up as a reason for their quarrel. He said the main reason for their quarrel was because he was doing somethings that made the wife feel he was cheating on her. Face that one and stop all these other jumping up and down. The man needs to check himself and limit whatever action is making his wife feels she is cheating on him. My 2 cents.