Acidosis:
Nairalanders have eventually destroyed your home. They failed to look at the bigger picture even though a few contributions warned against the mindless and shallow thoughts. They took side and warned your wife against shifting grounds. I hope they're now ready to accommodate her and the kids.

The same people will come around later to preach how 1+1 = 1, how marriage means the coming together of a man and a woman to become one. Lol

What is more shocking is how they advised a married woman to use a mere property to spite a hard working man (not a jobless man o). People were more concerned about the property, not the issues that provoked the statement "get out of the house"? So a responsible married man will just wake up and tell the wife "get out of the house"? From page 1 to about 4, no one care to ask what transpired between her and her husband, na so so property we carry for head.

It is well.

Processor01:
1. Your wife brought the business idea - check
2. You both executed the business - check
3. You split the money equally - error
4. Unfortunately, your dad was ill and you used your own portion - check
5. You used the remaining portion to build a house for your parents - check
6. Your wife decided to use hers to build a house for the family - check
7. You supported the project and even contributed the little portion that was left of your money - check
8. Your wife puts the property in her name alone - error
9. You both get into an argument or as you said, she was verbally abusive on a particular day - error
10. Rather than pick your keys and step out or go cool off, you ask her to "get out of your house" - error
11. In her anger, she let's you know it's in her name - error
12. You get upset and move out of the house, abandoning her and your kids - error
13. To ease the tension, she offers to correct her error by putting both your names but you insist it must be your name alone - error
14. You initiate a transfer at your office to another state, without any second thoughts for your kids, at least - error
15. You are willing to let this relationship burn if she doesn't bow down and worship you - error


Oga, YOU ARE A WICKED MAN!!!


You start your write up with that nonsense to put the burden of keeping the marriage on the woman.
No Sir! You are the man, the head and the captain of that ship! If it goes down because of what you have presented here, then it is because of your pride and lack of wisdom.

Amumaigwe:


You came from a broken or at best a loveless and dysfunctional home. Your first statement gave you away. Just make sure the baggages your mother's attitude has successfully hung around your neck do not pull your own marriage down.

Reading comments from some folks here, I now appreciate the extent of healing the family system needs. Where is love, submission, sacrifice, tolerance etc that used to be the hallmark of marriages. Why wouldn't the type of families we have these days be the breeding place of criminals that are now everywhere defrauding people and doing all kinds of money rituals.

CaptainCodes:
I know this is a last phase of the thread, but if you ever get to read this... Kindly take my advice. Also, this is to a lot of Nairalanders, let's not be hassles before dropping a descion, especially on families. To be honest, when I first read her thread, I just concluded that...I had to wait for another part before responding. Thank God you did.


Your faults:

You didn't confirm the house was not in your both names before moving in. You should have checked the documents. I am very sure if you knew the building was in her name from the initial stage you won't get this mad... You probably might not have moved in. Which again, might be understandable.
Even if it was in your name, sir... I think, you don't have the right to send her out of your home. Sometimes women needs to be completely explained to. You break it to peices for her...
Hey woman, this is me here.. be got nothing am hiding from you.. I am not cheating on you. It's obvious you still love your wife...but you need to temper your ego. It broke, be a man.. pick it up.. and bring up otions that are favourable for not just you, but her, and the people you brought in to the world. Knock it off sir.
Moving back to the house with her name on it might demoralize you, so don't...but if she agrees on changing it..to both of you, then do please. But not only you, c'mon.

Her fault:

You had this burnt anger long ago, hence you did it without telling your hubby.
You could have easily opened up to him.. sugar, you spent your money on Dad's health (note I said dad, not "your dad"...I will spend mine on a home, but it will be in my name... Trust me, any man in a situation trying to save his folks, will understand and agree with you. You didn't have to keep it away from him. (It's very sad you took advantage of his situation). Would he have left his dad's health to deteriorate if he had the money, and all he cared about was a home.
It's pretty sad that you betrayed your husband's trust, the least you could have intialy done was to let him know.. okay oo, this building is not in your name, it's mine.. if he is an understanding man, he'd have moved in with you, with a goal of building a main family home for you guys. It's not the name that is an issue, get it right...(I mean you could have easily inherited a property from your dad in your name).. it's not the name... But the trust.
C'mon, it could have been your dad who was ill, or bedridden... Don't take the advantage of your well to do family over him. Are you telling me, if it was your parents who were in that condition, he would start thinking my money, your money.
Wifey, you could have easily told your husband...long ago, that the house was yours.
Naturally, you pushed your husband to him asking you to get out of the house...(with your consistent trust issues) Which is wrong.
Your husband cares about you, that's one off...and don't listen to some opinions up there... He truly does. It's okay to be angry... Most men will ignore the issue, and move off your way.


*******

Let's look beyond the property. Please...

Something happened that triggered the issue. His dad was ill...that's the wrongest time to start deciding your money my money.

I can only imagine how terrific it was if it was her dad Ill, and he starts throwing this sort of things to your face... How would you have felt?.. once you are married, all parents become 1.


Again, sir... To be honest I think you have some ego issues. In my opinion, thier are 2 things that you can accept.

She changes the name to Mr and Mrs.. you accept it. Or, she leaves the house and moves to a newer place with you, within the city. (Within)

I can understand your vile by asking her to change it to your name alone, but you messed up by not checking the details initially... So let it fly.


*****

My last advice, please don't listen to some Nairalanders.. and it goes to madam too.. please. I beg you. You guys have kids.. if you don't love yourselves enough, you won't come online to venge your anger, you obviously do..

And both parties are looking for some sort of sympathy... But in the process, don't let Nairalanders mislead you. Please.

Thanks.

GreatEngineer:
@ExtraExtra,

First of all can I know the kind of business that you and your wife ventured into that fetch you guys that huge profits. I need such business please.

Secondly you are a very good man with an open heart.

You know why I said so?

Because you never even bother to ask for the documents of the house you are living in all this years. If it was some men, immediately they return from the trip, the will ask for the property documents.

Is ur wife from a polygamy home? If yes, that is the source of her problem.

Try and settle everything with her so far you both can leave together with your children. I like the way you show her that you are angry but, try and settle fast becoming things get out of hand.

dejol88:
We all have a red line , should my wife cross it I might act stupid. The wife was totally wrong in reminding him of his poor background. Infact a no no....

Oga the truth is that property itself was a product of marriage, so you can not lay exclusive claim to it, even it was built solely by you.

As a fellow married man, I will suggest you drop your ego and allow the name change to your kids only. Please move back to the house and forget about going elsewhere.

Mind you I am not supporting her rather am with you but go back to the house.

foyeks2001:
Mr Man, u r a selfish being ...u asked someone that has the lion share of the said landed property to pack out of her own house. God is watching you.

maasoap:


The wife's action was bad, we all agreed on that. Why wanting everything to himself now? He's not even protecting his wife and children against the family trouble in case anything happens to him along the way.

appsdope:
Oh extra extra so she just started insulting you. She said the same thing as you. You both had an argument and you asked her to leave. although she didn't go into details. Bad mouth is the nearest synonym to women and I knew from the onset that she said a lot of nasty things. My ex girlfriend insulted me to the extent that she told me that my father was born out of wedlock. I never told her that o and I didnt know but Somehow she knew.
By the way since when did get the hell out of my house become a joke? How will we know if you meant it? She bought the land and started the project so how on earth are you supposed to own the property? The house shouldn't be in your name in the first place. The property is hers. Rent an apartment and move your family that's if you still want the marriage. As for the house, it belongs to her. Go and build your own. As for me, I cant stay in a house where a woman bought even the spoon. Because when you use that spoon to eat and there is an issue, she will tell you how that spoon she bought has been saving your life forgetting that you bought every other thing.

sisisioge:


You will have to pardon me because you just wrote what I wrote in other words. I kinda follow the wife's thought line too, especially now that he's demanding to have his name alone on the title. Remember, the wife offered to put both their names on it now but oga sir refused! Again, you're gonna have to pardon me.

ojabel:


There's nothing wrong in that. It is their collective responsibility as couple. But come to think of it, building a house takes some time, and the man did not deem it fit to ask for the documents. This also shows that he did not even see the building plan because the details of the owners would have been discovered, except if he is being economical with the truth.

In my own view, the man is one of those men who doesn't like it when their women are ahead of them. It also means he was not involved with the project because it was the wife that championed it. To crown it all, I see inferiority complex.

sisisioge:


See life! The most shocking aspect of this story is his absolute belief in his own fairness. She should change the title to his name alone! Chai! I strongly believe in husband and wife teaming o but this is pure day light fraud

abike12:
lazy man. you cannot inherit a house with bullying, intimidation and threats, go and work and build your own like your mates. if you want to leave her, please do. for your wife to come and write here for people to insult you then she's ready for you either way. good riddance.

na2016:


Are you for real? Have you read the lady's version and the man's version? We are not talking of girlfreind here ooo. We are talking of a wife. I beleiveyou should withdraw this comment and apologise to the OP

Amberon11:
Are you sure your mental health is in tact?
A property you contributed 85% to shouldn't be in your name?

When most men build homes do they include their wives names on the documents?

iomoge2:
don't mind him. He will send her packing as soon as he has his name on the documents.
God forbid I change the name to his name when I have children.

If we must agree, then our children will own the house with me as their next of kin.

After using his share of the money for his own family needs.

Even if the whole money was from him, it's not a crime if he puts everything in his wife's name. People do it and are happy.

Since her family has money, he wants his family to inherit the house when he passes. Nonsense.

Saying her family is buoyant. So f..king what?

Sanchez01:

The man looks greedy at this point but in all honesty, most men won't take it. Trust as an ingredient has walked out of their home. Perhaps you know how it feels when you think you know someone only to find them doing something you never imagined.

This isn't really about the property anymore but how it went on for long without the wife saying a thing, only to 'strike' with the revelation. Had the issue never came up, he would feel the property is in their name when in reality it is not. I don't know how you see it but it is the height of it for some men. We are talking about a woman and man whose love affair was good before everything went south. He could have found out in a much more devastating way. If you were a man, you wouldn't take it, believe me.

folly22:
They made the mistake from the beginning, why should they split the money into equal half, they should have sat down and the man only took part of it for his dad's treatment while they start the building with the remaining. The way the money was shared shows they are free to do anything with their money and it's their personal stuff. That is my view anyway

Robynwelo1:



You are blind and hungry. Did you not read where they both said it was the woman that built the house with her money? So she should put it in his name? What insolent right does he have to dare utter that statement 'leave my house'?

Amumaigwe:


You have such wild fantasies that are incongrous with a stable and happy home. If you have not used this ideologies and built a home that has successfully transforned your children into responsible adults, then you might be living in a fools paradise.

Youngzedd:

The wife is more matured. She didn't go into details but the husband did.
Hahahahaha this one weak me.

keepingmum:
The foolish pride and arrogance your wife described off ur character is evident in your write up.