funmisticqueen:
are you sure he is not an alternate moniker for the op?

MIKOLOWISKA:
why should wives unleash viper tongues and not think men have feelings?

appsdope:
Oh extra extra so she just started insulting you. She said the same thing as you. You both had an argument and you asked her to leave. although she didn't go into details. Bad mouth is the nearest synonym to women and I knew from the onset that she said a lot of nasty things. My ex girlfriend insulted me to the extent that she told me that my father was born out of wedlock. I never told her that o and I didnt know but Somehow she knew.
By the way since when did get the hell out of my house become a joke? How will we know if you meant it? She bought the land and started the project so how on earth are you supposed to own the property? The house shouldn't be in your name in the first place. The property is hers. Rent an apartment and move your family that's if you still want the marriage. As for the house, it belongs to her. Go and build your own. As for me, I cant stay in a house where a woman bought even the spoon. Because when you use that spoon to eat and there is an issue, she will tell you how that spoon she bought has been saving your life forgetting that you bought every other thing.

TonyeBarcanista:

Pls this is not about male Vs female.

If my sister do this I will scold her. If she must build in her name what stops her from informing her husband FIRST?

She is not a straightforward woman

Yagazie2016:
My initial comment did not deserve the kind of response from you. There is no way issues about a house should lead to a marriage breaking up. It's not worth it.
I know the OP is pained, and rightfully so. I suggested what will make him stronger in the marriage. Leaders are not necessarily rulers or dictators. If his wife is a good woman as I hope, she will respond positively to reconcillations from him. It will even surprise her.
Meanwhile he gets to heal and save his marriage. He also will be able to have peace of mind- this is non existent in a troubled marriage.

He can easily make enough money to buy or build houses within a few years and in an honest way. That's what God can do but it normally works when the marriage front is stable.
Now let me tell you some things, I have been in a successful marriage for over a decade. I have a joint account with my wife and she is a sole signatory also in my business accounts. My marriage has been tested many times and we came out successfully and stronger each time.
It's not good to be dividing funds or to operate different accounts in a marriage- my thoughts.
It's not also good to be exchanging bad words online. Apologies for my coarse words.

ststyreal:

You need to see some men's attitude before scolding your sister. I don't blame the woman, cos it seems she is scared of being left with nothing at the end of the day probably because of the mans attitude with the female folks. Most women married to urhobo men do this a lot because the man can decide to take another wife who will then share from the property she never worked for. So don't blame most women that build property in their name alone, they have their reasons and are not fools!

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

LaudableXX:


Guy, you have said it all. And you have said it well. I doff my hat to you. You see, all those forming Voltron on this thread, would probably take worse crap from their wives after they get married, when the chips are down. If you see a successful marriage, please know they have weathered many storms. That is what some people do not realise. Those advising separation or preaching divorce to the couple, do not wish them well. The man was justified in getting upset, but to move out of the house, abandoning her and his kids, was totally wrong. By the time other members of the family interfere and take sides, things could get worse from there, and it would be difficult to initiate a reconciliation.

Incomparable:


I noticed you attacked all the positive posts on this trend

Get matured.

Put arrogant pride and selfishness aside and face reality.

Real men don't behave like you and the poster. Pls, get life.

Chikicaka:


I don't understand how anything you wrote correlates to what i wrote...but i guess trolling is the in thing so happy Sunday

eyinjuege:


Yes, and the man was quiet all this while he didn't also say mean words to her

funmisticqueen:
that one no be mumu button, na destroy my marriage button

MIKOLOWISKA:
men react differently to women
AND if we beat you nobody will hear our own so get out of our house is all we've got or we get another wife
That seems to calm y'all down

funmisticqueen:
this your mentality has to change. You will have daughters someday. Are you yoruba?

Biglittlelois:



guy i've been laughing since from your comments, you took out time to reply almost everyone against the man you are one funny guy

Biglittlelois:



guy i've been laughing since from your comments, you took out time to reply almost everyone against the man you are one funny guy

Yagazie2016:

I also expected you to offer some words of reconciliation after this your thorough analysis. Wow!

MIKOLOWISKA:
if I do I will teach them to watch their tongues with their men. Yoruba culture be covering up filth. Couples suffering in silence. Who e epp.choose your friend not ''wife or husband materials ''(she can cook and clean and he can pay bills). Happy marriage goes beyond fake pictures on social media

cococandy:


If he accuses me of cheating, then I’ll try to find out why he thinks I’m cheating. No one wakes up and accuses another of cheating. What led to that?

If I were him, I’d focus on proving to her that I didn’t cheat. Over-reacting and tantrum throwing is a way of trying to stop the wife from digging deeper into the cheating issue

. If there’s nothing to indicate that he might be involved with another lady inappropriately, she won’t accuse him of it.

As for @bold, Keep manufacturing things that no one said.

cococandy:


If he accuses me of cheating, then I’ll try to find out why he thinks I’m cheating. No one wakes up and accuses another of cheating. What led to that?

If I were him, I’d focus on proving to her that I didn’t cheat. Over-reacting and tantrum throwing is a way of trying to stop the wife from digging deeper into the cheating issue

. If there’s nothing to indicate that he might be involved with another lady inappropriately, she won’t accuse him of it.

As for @bold, Keep manufacturing things that no one said.

Ziggylady:



You are clearly a talkative and a huge nag..You can nag for Africa dude !!..You have been yapping like a loose canon for hours and days!!..dont you freaking getting tired!??

Remove the Chair undermeath which you brought to sit on quarrelling like an unpaid housegirl and get a life..

Gosh!!!

maasoap:


If you are referring to the couple here, I wouldn't know which one is cold and which one is hot. But if you are referring to me, I'm the hot one while my wife is the gentle one.

funmisticqueen:
actually i was about to say that it's igbo men that have this mentality. goodday

MIKOLOWISKA:
you know
But continue to delude yourself

eyinjuege:
How you had the audacity to even mention your wife should leave a home she has labored for beggars belief.
She brought the business idea, she brought her own share of the money, you guys made money and shared it equally , you spent your own share on important matters too, she bought the land and starts building , you built your parents home which is also important, yet your mouth was not heavy enough to ask your wife to pack out?
You are a devil sir, no matter how you try to paint it. A destiny destroyer. Any body that decides not to see your evil ways will be treated same way you did your wife, you didn't want her to eat the fruit of her labor.
Spare me the BS of loving her, and just joking with her about that rubbish that came out of your mouth that she should pack out.
I wish you family the best sha, but i would still advice your wife to keep her property in her name. If her work allows a transfer to where you are based, she may follow you, otherwise let her face her work.
The children should stay where it makes sense for them to. If it would affect their schooling, let them stay back where they are. If they are old enough, they can equally stay with their father. Nothing wrong jwith that, their mother can always visit.

Limitless72:





Can you imagine the senseless thing you wrote up there......
Chai... Knowledge is really power ooooooo

This is a very sensitive issue that only people of profound knowledge can handle and resolve...

Am sure you aren't married,
I don't support the man documenting the house in his name only... But they could attached both names...

Pride comes before a fall..... Marriage issues are complex,,, it's not garbage in and garbage out like a normal relationships.....

eyinjuege:
Thank goodness women are getting wiser about getting their own property now, and always prepare for such eventualities instead of being left homeless or destitute. It's important to think smart, and always look after yourself. As a woman, you need to look after yourself first before you can be useful to any child or man.
Getting another wife is not a big deal, afterall it helps everyone move on with their lives. If a marriage ends, it doesn't mean anyone's world has to end. That's really not a threat to anybody, those that want to remarry can do so. Those that are content with just having partners, without any binding contract can equally go ahead.
You own your life, and really owe nobody any explanation. Good or bad, own it.

eyinjuege:

Thank goodness women are getting wiser about getting their own property now, and always prepare for such eventualities instead of being left homeless or destitute. It's important to think smart, and always look after yourself. As a woman, you need to look after yourself first before you can be useful to any child or man.
Getting another wife is not a big deal, afterall it helps everyone move on with their lives. If a marriage ends, it doesn't mean anyone's world has to end. That's really not a threat to anybody, those that want to remarry can do so. Those that are content with just having partners, without any binding contract can equally go ahead.
You own your life, and really owe nobody any explanation. Good or bad, own it.

Aquariann:


She bought the land but they built the house together. It was after the house was completed, he moved to complete his family's house with his balance. Y'all can support the woman, but don't twist what both of them said just to drive home your point. She owns the land, but they both own the building on it.





Perhaps you're the blind person here to have missed these posts by both of them

Raymie:
With the way you're going about this your post, I have little doubt you're the snitching cousin of some sort of relative of the OP. Tell ya brother, whatever the underlying faults the madam may have, he nor try. And of he thinks he can browbeat her into submission, e fit no work. He'd just be giving himself headache, moneyache and heartache.

funmisticqueen:
actually i was about to say that it's igbo men that have this mentality. goodday

Chikicaka:


lol, dingbat