chronique:


It is not my job to comment on every thread about marital crisis so if you do not see me commenting on the ones that affects women, it means I didn't see it. When I saw the initial thread,I asked the woman not to change the documents of the property to his name for any reason. I didn't even know this was the genesis of the problem. One thing is sure and that's the fact that if I was in his position, I'd never feel comfortable with that woman and would also not live in that house again.

And just so you know, I'm an advocate of treating everyone the way you want to be treated. It doesn't matter if one is a male or female. Just treat everyone fairly and justly. People who know me well, know I'm one of the sweetest folks around.

Alright dear, my apologies.
I didn't see the wife's own though, followed a link on the first page to view the thread. Sweetest indeed

pocohantas:


Alright dear, my apologies.
I didn't see the wife's own though, followed a link on the first page to view the thread. Sweetest indeed

The taste of the pudding is in the eating.

Yagazie2016:

Why should I? We are talking about his wife, who he has vowed to live with through sickness and in health. But you? You are just a nonentity with zero experience in what marriage entails. Plus..... a church rat with low self esteem. Chew on that sucker!

the same way if sees a backstabbing shrew as a nonentity with zero experience in how to coexist with your partner

your wife just pretending to treat you like man cos you have money


may your marriage be tested then we see if you will not commit suicide

then we will know who has esteem
you think is by mouth
we have been stretched and we didn't break
you that are just starting
we de wait you

fool

kmcutez:


This guy you go sabi nag for real life.

Nah
just commenting on issues that I find intriguing

Replying and quarreling with every post that you do not agree with.

Are you a fish seller?

aspiring fish seller

lighternote:
This ExtraExtra is a pure narcissist. He even chose to break his marriage over his ego. His story corroborated his wife's version. He obviously needs psychological support but just like most NPD patients he won't believe he needs help.

My ten kobo, calm down and fix your marriage. There is no big issue here.

a man without ego is nothing
even his wife will not respect him
what will happen if the marriage crash
will world stop turning
a man's ego is the biggest issue
ppl get killed cos of ego
wars are fought cos ego
ignore ego at your own peril
hence diplomacy
insulting ppl parents that they ignored their own immediate family for is not smart

freshvine:


they both share profit and decided to invest differently for the greater good of the family so the husband thought.

if they've pool resources together, would private ownership in a "union" arise?

if the table is turned and the husband has the resource to save the life of either her parent abroad but declined with the excuse that he's saving for "his" property, "sir, ma, will the marriage still continue?"

see better woman joor

[quote author=MIKOLOWISKA post=69590335]the same way if sees a backstabbing shrew as a nonentity with zero experience in how to coexist with your partner

your wife just pretending to treat you like man cos you have money


may your marriage be tested then we see if you will not commit suicide

My initial comment did not deserve the kind of response from you. There is no way issues about a house should lead to a marriage breaking up. It's not worth it.
I know the OP is pained, and rightfully so. I suggested what will make him stronger in the marriage. Leaders are not necessarily rulers or dictators. If his wife is a good woman as I hope, she will respond positively to reconcillations from him. It will even surprise her.
Meanwhile he gets to heal and save his marriage. He also will be able to have peace of mind- this is non existent in a troubled marriage.

He can easily make enough money to buy or build houses within a few years and in an honest way. That's what God can do but it normally works when the marriage front is stable.
Now let me tell you some things, I have been in a successful marriage for over a decade. I have a joint account with my wife and she is a sole signatory also in my business accounts. My marriage has been tested many times and we came out successfully and stronger each time.
It's not good to be dividing funds or to operate different accounts in a marriage- my thoughts.
It's not also good to be exchanging bad words online. Apologies for my coarse words.

dominique:
I couldn't even read the write-up, the intro was nauseating enough. Women are the backbone bla bla bla, it's her duty to hold the family bla bla bla. If it's the woman's duty to keep a marriage/family then what exactly is your purpose as the head of the family?

to provide and protect
but clearly she can do it by herself so no need for man

To exert your powers as her Lord?

yes as a matter of fact

It's only an incredibly stupid woman that will build a house in her husband's name in this day and age where men are not loyal and sees cheating as a birth right.

it's not her house it's THEIR house

African men and their irritating egos deserve to be put in their place every once a while, some deserves to be outrightly dumped like this op

why she no go marry Arabian man make she know wetin ego mean

Nihilstjnr:


I think you're suffering from cognitive dissonance, because the person who actually abandoned his marriage and kids and moved to a different state is that person you're defending.

the rest of your post is complete garbage. 'Get out of my house is a commonly used phrase in Nigeria mainly because the husband's viewpoints are actually widely shared by Nigerian men.

it's almost as if you don't know that the phrase 'get of my house' is very often followed by the wife or woman actually being bundled out.

Nobody is that naive to believe that a Nigerian man ordered his wife out of the house in jest, in a country where wives generally have very few rights anyway.

I can see you're female. I hope you never find yourself in a similar situation before the stupidity of your current argument finally dawns on you....

freshvine is not female. he is a misogynistic man posing as a woman. did you just join nairaland today?

Amberon11:
God bless you for this. Most Nigerian men find it difficult to be truthful when delving into marital issues. But you have spoken with all honesty and I commend you for that.

I'm sorry about the way your mum was being treated by your dad. Pls those house documents keep them very well because I know of a similar issue where the bread winner (the woman) worked her ass off and training all her kids abroad, built duplexes, bought cars and everything else without the husband contributing a Kobo. All the while the man kept lavishing his wife's money on little girls until he eventually got one pregnant. Well his wife died last year and the younger sister of the late woman informed us that several prayer houses had told them her husband was responsible for her death.

Now the shocking thing was that before the woman died, the man kept stole documents to her landed property and even sold off her cars. The first son had to come from the UK to come secure the rest of their property.

As I speak to you the children now hate the man and want nothing to do with him. The only thing they know about him now is hat he finally recolated to Abuja with the young girl he was dating.

Women should be wise. May this never befall anyone we know.

the woman deserves him for not putting him in check

dominique:



If she built the house like the op's wife nko? Will you send her out of her own house like the wicked, selfish op? This "parent's house" threat you men love to churn out is getting old and lame.

yet she is begging upandan now. parents house is real

GrammarCheck:
Two of you are not serious.

Of all things on Earth to fight about it is this trivial matter

I'm sure you cant pinpoint the matter

maasoap:


Pls, drop that line. The stubbornness of both of them was already destroying his house before the wife came online here. Why couldn't they resolve the issue between themselves?

This is not even a serious issue in my opinion, they just decided to blow it out of proportion.
The husband too should chill, and come down from his high horse. What the wife did was bad but he shouldn't forget to remember the good sides of his wife in this moment because that's what makes you forgive and forget.

Wanting the complete change of name on the house document is just a punishment which is extreme and unnecessary.

Who even told him that he can have the custody of the children who are likely minors. The Africa and crude mentality in him is still manifesting in him. The same way you want only your name on the documents. If you insist on having the custody of the children to yourself, what makes you think that your wife won't go to court? Who do you think is likely to have the custody?

Forgive your wife, accept joint ownership of the house. Or better still, tell her to put up the house for sale. Don't lose a good wife just because of one minor issue.

Why is your wife suspecting you of cheating on her all of a sudden, why not before? If you are flirting, better quit it if you don't know how to hide it.

You guys should agree on solution to this MINOR ISSUE and move on with your lives together.

Copy extraextra heseesall

insulting your parents and treachery are not minor issues
that you can take it does not mean others can

abike12:
lazy man. you cannot inherit a house with bullying, intimidation and threats, go and work and build your own like your mates. if you want to leave her, please do. for your wife to come and write here for people to insult you then she's ready for you either way. good riddance.

who's begging between them now

Proudgorgeousga:


Did you just join nairaland today?

Probably

The thing is funny

I wonder how he feels when people call him a woman. Laughing at them behind his keyboard most likely

maasoap:


Thank you. Even with his narration alone, I could still fault him a thousand ways. He just want to lose a good wife because of his too much ego.
Whenever my wife disappointed me and I wanted to lose my head while reacting, I would just remind and tell myself, this is a good wife. I should let this one pass.

until the day she see better option and dump you

[quote author=Yagazie2016 post=69590837][/quote]whatever floats your boat only time will tell whether you will learn the hard way or not whether you pained a good wife or not if you're a good husband or not this guy clearly picked the wrong woman and is learning
while the woman married for convenience

[quote author=Yagazie2016 post=69590837][/quote]

MIKOLOWISKA:
until the day she see better option and dump you

If ever you are lucky to marry a good woman, dumping you will be the last thing on your worry lists. I'm a lucky man. Relationship is about forgiving but some spouses always finding it difficult to forgive and forget. When I finally learnt this trick, my life became simple and enjoyable. You wouldn't understand.

[quote author=Yagazie2016 post=69590837][/quote]My initial comment did not deserve the kind of response from you. There is no way issues about a house should lead to a marriage breaking up. It's not worth it.
I know the OP is pained, and rightfully so. I suggested what will make him stronger in the marriage. Leaders are not necessarily rulers or dictators. If his wife is a good woman as I hope, she will respond positively to reconcillations from him. It will even surprise her.
Meanwhile he gets to heal and save his marriage. He also will be able to have peace of mind- this is non existent in a troubled marriage.
He can easily make enough money to buy or build houses within a few years and in an honest way. That's what God can do but it normally works when the marriage front is stable.
Now let me tell you some things, I have been in a successful marriage for over a decade. I have a joint account with my wife and she is a sole signatory also in my business accounts. My marriage has been tested many times and we came out successfully and stronger each time.
It's not good to be dividing funds or to operate different accounts in a marriage- my thoughts.
It's not also good to be exchanging bad words online. Apologies for my coarse words.

MIKOLOWISKA:
insulting your parents and treachery are not minor issues
that you can take it does not mean others can

Where did she insult his parents in his write up because I didn't see that part? Besides, children sometimes insult their own parents too, I've seen it. So, if your spouse insults your parents, you will divorce her? That's not the solution.

This man is really a good man, but I think the transfer is not a good idea. "You don't run from something because it a challenge", this is your marriage and you can't just walk away from it, you've gotta fix it. Remember Wisdom is profitable to direct.

To the woman : I'm not in the position to judge you, I know you are judging yourself already. A good man is hard to find, you have one already. So give it whatever it takes to keep him and save your marriage. We all make mistakes, but the courage is only seen in accepting our mistakes and making genuine effort to correct them.

Yagazie2016:
[/quote]My initial comment did not deserve the kind of response from you.

BROS
when you insult a stranger that did not insult you
you deserve every kind of response

There is no way issues about a house should lead to a marriage breaking up. It's not worth it.

anger doesn't care about what is worth it or not

why we should avoid it at all costs

I know the OP is pained, and rightfully so. I suggested what will make him stronger in the marriage.

BROS if he goes back if will not be stronger
she will believe she can always beg him
that is why he wants to bring her to her knees so she never tries it again cos he tried trusting her and she went for the jugular and missed
a guy tried this with a classmate of mine
she stabbed him to death
never wound what you can't kill
it will not give a second chance

Leaders are not necessarily rulers or dictators.

it's safer to be feared than to be loved
pm history shows

If his wife is a good woman as I hope,

she isn't if not she will not nag him to the edge

she will respond positively to reconcillations from him. It will even surprise her.
Meanwhile he gets to heal and save his marriage.

this is not a marriage
never was
her parents just off loaded her on him to hide the shame
dem plenty for no estate

He also will be able to have peace of mind-

he can never have peace of mind knowing his wife doesn't trust him

this is non existent in a troubled marriage.
He can easily make enough money to buy or build houses within a few years and in an honest way.

it's not about the house or the money
it's about total obedience at this point
dude doesn't care about trust again
he's going for safety not idealism

That's what God can do but it normally works when the marriage front is stable.

abeg
many successfu happy divorceed men out there

Now let me tell you some things, I have been in a successful marriage for over a decade.

I don't know you so I'll take your word for it
good for you

I have a joint account with my wife and she is a sole signatory also in my business accounts. My marriage has been tested many times and we came out successfully and stronger each time.

Hmmm
no comment

It's not good to be dividing funds or to operate different accounts in a marriage- my thoughts.

your thoughts
not gospel

works for you
not for everyone

It's not also good to be exchanging bad words online.

depends on outcome

Apologies for my coarse words.

accepted


[quote]

kmcutez:


This guy you go sabi nag for real life. Replying and quarreling with every post that you do not agree with. Are you a fish seller?

no time to allow one woman come and cloud my joy

Odunharry:

My bro I tell you. That's why it's always good to look at bigger picture and ask questions, then hear from the other person.

The foundation of their marriage is actually faulty. I didn't see any form of trust, no friendship self.

Gbam

Robynwelo1:



You are blind and hungry. Did you not read where they both said it was the woman that built the house with her money? So she should put it in his name? What insolent right does he have to dare utter that statement 'leave my house'?

she needs the marriage not him
that's the right

iomoge2:
don't mind him. He will send her packing as soon as he has his name on the documents.
God forbid I change the name to his name when I have children.

If we must agree, then our children will own the house with me as their next of kin.

After using his share of the money for his own family needs.

Even if the whole money was from him, it's not a crime if he puts everything in his wife's name. People do it and are happy.

Since her family has money, he wants his family to inherit the house when he passes. Nonsense.

Saying her family is buoyant. So f..king what?

gold digger spotted

folly22:
They made the mistake from the beginning, why should they split the money into equal half, they should have sat down and the man only took part of it for his dad's treatment while they start the building with the remaining. The way the money was shared shows they are free to do anything with their money and it's their personal hstuff. That is my view anyway

The most reasonable response so far. This right here is the root cause of the problem. How and why they decided to split the profit is beyond me.

Eketem:



Exactly, one of his poverty striken relative will come and throw her out with the kids, this is the kind of suffering women that give sick Nigerian men an erection.

it's called a will

This man is clearly manipulative even in the kids name she isn't safe he will simply keep the kids and kick her out she looses both the kids and the house.

Chei den don do you strong tin

She better tell her parents I am sure they warned her not to marry him but desperation and love didn't let her see road.

abi they were jumping for joy that someone considered the, spoilt rude ugly classless insecure daughter

Small pocket, big ego. So irritating

sisisioge:


I understand. But from the story they both agreed on, the woman had bought the property, done the paper work and started building before oga added his money to it. While doing this, oga was taking care of his father's health and building his parents house with his own share o. Safe to say, all paper works were done before his money got on it and since they both shared their profit and each did as they pleased with his/her share. Be objective, she probably 85% owns the property. Despite that, she's offered to have his name on it too but he ain't buying! What name would you call that? Please be candid.

taming a wild shrew

bukatyne:

I agree with you.
The split started the whole fracas.

no bad mouth did

Eketem:


Poor lazy jealous men with only empty pride and who reason like this. I only blame Nigerian women who have tolerated this crappie ideologies for so long giving men like you courage to spill this in public.

Only weak suffering women give sadists like you an erection. A woman is only good if she is at your mercy accepting crap.

A good marriage is not built on disrespect the idiocy of this whole mentality is your kind will shout 100percent submission with zero percent love


Nigerian women have standards you won't die

yeah she will
from kookiness

but it was sweeting her to dish out the crap
now she's playing victim now that she's seen her stupidity