₦airaland Forum

Abayor7:
Abayor to his useless homosexual father and worthless wh0re mother:
Oga shut up if you don't know what to say..
Fine to protect children tho but is this lady in question a child? Once you start dating and start visiting the guy at home you know you're ready for anything that happens afterwards.

Checked86:
I am really sorry for what happened. I don't think wise men value virginity the way you see it. Yes, girls pride themselves for that but in a case where you don't have it anymore, it does not in any way mean you are useless. Whether you want to punish you friend for that depends on you. you may jump and say yes, i want to get even with him but at the long run, you will end up hurting yourself or even losing more. If you really love him, pray over it and get married to him. No person is perfect. Your life can change him for better if you think he does not fear God enough.
God knows how you feel about loving your virginity. I still believe that being chaste is for God not for for human. No damn human is worth keeping your virginity for. We are sinners. God will forgive because you didn't do it willingly. You were forced. whether you enjoyed it or not doesn't matter. you were forced. whether you were talking into doing it doesn't matter. PLEASE DO NOT CONSIDER COMMITTING SUICIDE. IT DOESN'T WORTH LOSING YOUR LIFE FOR. Worst people most times make a good husband. do not count him off

smileing:
Please I need responsible advice

Many were coming as suitors but I don't know why I let him come closer.

He forcefully took away my pride and I was hurt. He said he did that cos he doesn't want to lose me

I wanted to leave but I couldn't cos I love him.
I don't offer sex cos I'm religious and I believe it's a sin. Told him to wait till marriage but he wouldn't.
for almost a year we ve been courting I didn't allow him touch me.

Till this day he forcefully had sex with me .
He wants to come pay my dowry but I'm not sure that my people will let me marry him. I too went and prayed about him and they told me that he is not my husband (about 5 different people said it)

He is OK, financially, is educated and promising.
But not God-fearing as I wanted.

Now I'm pained for what he did to me .I'm grieved cos I wanted to lose my pride on my wedding night.
and I'm thinking of leaving him cos I'm hurting so much now.

I feel less of myself and sinful too


Please what should I do?


those that married non Virgin how did your spouse take it. I need to know cos it ll help reshaping my mindset

Checked86:
I am really sorry for what happened. I don't think wise men value virginity the way you see it. Yes, girls pride themselves for that but in a case where you don't have it anymore, it does not in any way mean you are useless. Whether you want to punish you friend for that depends on you. you may jump and say yes, i want to get even with him but at the long run, you will end up hurting yourself or even losing more. If you really love him, pray over it and get married to him. No person is perfect. Your life can change him for better if you think he does not fear God enough.
God knows how you feel about loving your virginity. I still believe that being chaste is for God not for for human. No damn human is worth keeping your virginity for. We are sinners. God will forgive because you didn't do it willingly. You were forced. whether you enjoyed it or not doesn't matter. you were forced. whether you were talking into doing it doesn't matter. PLEASE DO NOT CONSIDER COMMITTING SUICIDE. IT DOESN'T WORTH LOSING YOUR LIFE FOR. Worst people most times make a good husband. do not count him off

henroe2k2:
I no dey like hear this kind story!!!
Na ur boy friend!
U love am!
He is exducatedl
He is financially OK!
U don't offer sex!
U allowed him too close!
U bleep am or he raped u!
U didn't raise alarm!
He now wants to marry you!
But u no want am again!
Yet u no want tell am to go!

My sister, na serious mumu dey worry u!!!

franchasng:
I am not going to be soft and pampering on u like most posters, I am going to be hard and real so u can get the message straight.

I love girl child so much but if given the opportunity to select the gender of my future kids, I will select only male and u know why Because to me, female children are too adorable, too vulnerable and too sophisticated for this rugged world and its terrain. I might kill somebody because of my daughter

I have said it countless times that as a lady, if u are not ready to dance shakiti bobo, don't keep any boyfriend. Forget about all those he is different, he is God fearing, he is this and that, I am a guy, I used to be so religious, I used to be pious, and back then when I used to be very religious, holy holy and after chastity, I disliked getting close to ladies. I never had a girlfriend. Many girls tried to be my friend I blatantly refused. Even my female cousins tried to set me up with their pretty friends, they all failed.

I separated myself completely from going close to women because I know it could lead to bad things one cannot predict.

But the problem with ladies is this; they want to eat their cake and still have it. They don't want to have sex, they don't want to have romance or kiss, but they will be keeping boyfriend, collecting gifts from the guy, accepting different types of favours from the guy and still expect the guy never to make sexual advance towards them, how

The moment a guy feels the need to have a girlfriend, the moment a guy feels the desire to walk up to a girl and ask her to be his girlfriend, his first intention is to have sex with her. Don't listen to any cock and bull story anybody else will tell u. I am a guy.

All my childhood friends, when we were trying to be chaste and righteous, we had no girlfriend or female friend. Our relationship with girls or ladies ended only at school or church premises. My mom, my elder sis and my female cousins were my only female friends.

This is how ladies should reason. You don't keep goat and yam together in one room and expect the hungry goat not to eat the yam, that is not possible. Goat and yam don't stay in one room.

You cannot keep a hungry lion and a sheep in one cage and expect the lion to be friendly to the sheep, it will definitely devour the sheep to quench its hunger first.

My point is this; u made a big mistake keeping boyfriend or male friend when u wanted to be completely chaste.

If I have a daughter tomorrow, I will warn her; if u don't want to end up having sex or romance or kissing or even getting raped, don't keep any boyfriend or male friend. They are all the same looking for sex. A guy that is righteous, chaste and trying to be close to his God won't keep a female friend or girlfriend. I have been there, was once there so I speak from experience.

But remember, I am single today out of my past mistake of being too religious and trying to be chaster than chaste itself. It was back then that I was being too holy and chaste that I missed my true lovers. Whenever I remember one particular lady, it still hurts me that I lost her out of my too rigid and too chaste running away from ladies lifestyle then

This girl loved me genuinely, tried to be close by all means but I rejected her not because of any reason but for trying not to fall to sexual temptations. She cried, begged but I never listened to her. They were many back then, I was too religiously foolish to a fault and I am kind of paying for it now by not meeting the right ladies again now that I am fully ready and interested, life.

So be sure u won't regret this your rigidity now later.

Be sure u won't regret pushing this guy away now some years later.

Be sure u won't regret all the good guys u had been pushing away by trying to be too rigid and chaste.

Majority of happily married women u see today married their husbands as non virgins. Virginity is no longer in vogue today when it comes to top qualities men consider in a wife to be. It used to be some decades ago, but not in our present capitalistic world where financial stress and economy recession is the determinant.

Are u financially promising Are u a good money manager, a financial help mate, a good listener, a great companion, can u help him stand if he falls tomorrow, can u train kids happily, can u keep and organize a home without making a fuss out of it Do u have good and promising career, business or trade These are the top qualities men of today consider as top priority to marry a lady no longer virginity. Any guy after a lady's virginity is of questionable character, be wary of such guy or guys.

It is good to marry as a virgin but that does not guarantee that u will marry the best husband or have the best marriage.

I know like 3 or more close friends who married their wives as virgins and these guys were what they call Playboys who deflowered many girls and still they ended up marrying virgin women and they are financially successful too o, so what's the end

Being a virgin as a lady won't guarantee that u will marry a God fearing man. In fact most God fearing men end up with ladies that lived wayward life while bad guys most times end up with virgin ladies. Life is crazy.

Don't kill yourself because u lost your virginity, yes it hurts to lose it forcefully but u kind of caused it.

As for marrying him, why not

If u are truly God fearing and have faith and believe in God's power of making impossibility to be possible, what stops u from marrying him. The Bible said that when a man sleeps with a single lady and takes away her virginity, he must be made to marry her, so the guy is ready to marry, come on what's wrong with it

Some people told u he is not your husband, come on, go and talk to your God to change him and make him your husband and if u have the strong faith and belief in the power of God, He will do it for u.

Jabez in the Bible prayed for God to change his condition and God did. God changed the condition of many people and still doing the same today so what changed

Stop crying and get up and start rejoicing and dancing in celebration of your amazing wedding coming soon, be happy sis.

Wish you all the best

smileing:
Please I need responsible advice

Many were coming as suitors but I don't know why I let him come closer.

He forcefully took away my pride and I was hurt. He said he did that cos he doesn't want to lose me

I wanted to leave but I couldn't cos I love him.
I don't offer sex cos I'm religious and I believe it's a sin. Told him to wait till marriage but he wouldn't.
for almost a year we ve been courting I didn't allow him touch me.

Till this day he forcefully had sex with me .
He wants to come pay my dowry but I'm not sure that my people will let me marry him. I too went and prayed about him and they told me that he is not my husband (about 5 different people said it)

He is OK, financially, is educated and promising.
But not God-fearing as I wanted.

Now I'm pained for what he did to me .I'm grieved cos I wanted to lose my pride on my wedding night.
and I'm thinking of leaving him cos I'm hurting so much now.

I feel less of myself and sinful too


Please what should I do?


those that married non Virgin how did your spouse take it. I need to know cos it ll help reshaping my mindset

smileing:
Please I need responsible advice

Many were coming as suitors but...

Now I'm pained for what he did to me .I'm grieved cos I wanted to lose my pride on my wedding night.
and I'm thinking of leaving him cos I'm hurting so much now.

I feel less of myself and sinful too


Please what should I do?


those that married non Virgin how did your spouse take it. I need to know cos it ll help reshaping my mindset

eezeribe:
My dear, never you allow nairaland rapists to twist your mind and blame yourself while exonerating the rapist...
Rape is rape and the victim should never be blamed...
If I were you, I will end the unhealthy relationship and take legal action against him.

eelipumpin:
I don't think it's rape. It's one those JUST HAPPENED kinda situations.

Do you know Christ has paid for that sin? The prolong guilt is Satan's stronghold on you.

Righteousness is not our inability to fall but it is our responsibility to rise up when we fall. Christ is our righteousness.

God still sees you as a daughter not a non virgin. He still calls you His own. He still has you in His plan.

Virginity self righteousness really ate u up but this incident should teach you to judge less and value grace.


I wrote all these cuz u said you are Religious.

Don't be hard on your self when God is seeing differently.

Forgive yourself and marry the right Man God has designed for you.

You've learnt your mistakes. He was never a sincere Believer and you knew it.
Just be fine.

Richy4:
This sounds to me like a bad scripted movie...

The dude raped u..and u chose to keep it bottled up...

You said u can't leave because u love him... ok

If you don't want to marry him, and the thought of marrying him has not crossed your mind what in God's name where you doing with him for one year?

You can't have all the package at a go dear.. you said he was financially ok, educated, promising.. etc but not God fearing.. I guess you were thinking that you might change him....and he ended up changing u..
If u loved him as u claimed, accept him with all his faults.. don't let any one decide for you whom to be with..

If you don't want him, you should have ended it long time ago.end it.. don't marry him because you were no longer a virgin...that will be suicidal..
A lot of men would still want to be with you not because of your virginity...

Please next time don't go to a man's house when you know that you won't play ball even if he is an angel.. always meet at a public space.. even when you were hugging him, give some room for Jesus between the two of you..

phantonce:
Sorry dear...You're just a casuality of modern day relationship that promotes sex.

A boyfriend of a year doesn't just suddenly turn to a rapist out of the blue.

He might has seen some sign that the relationship might end soon and he decided to take matters into his hand.

Am sure you're still with him even after all the warnings because he spends on you and he spending on you gives him a sense of entitlement to have sex with you.

Money no fit miss road like that na

Am only saying this from an average man point of view and not because am insensitive to your plight.

Been raped doesn't devalue you in anyway.

You're only devalued when you allow the incident get to you

smileing:
Please I need responsible advice

Many were coming as suitors but I don't know why I let him come closer.

He forcefully took away my pride and I was hurt. He said he did that cos he doesn't want to lose me

I wanted to leave but I couldn't cos I love him.
I don't offer sex cos I'm religious and I believe it's a sin. Told him to wait till marriage but he wouldn't.
for almost a year we ve been courting I didn't allow him touch me.

Till this day he forcefully had sex with me .
He wants to come pay my dowry but I'm not sure that my people will let me marry him. I too went and prayed about him and they told me that he is not my husband (about 5 different people said it)

He is OK, financially, is educated and promising.
But not God-fearing as I wanted.

Now I'm pained for what he did to me .I'm grieved cos I wanted to lose my pride on my wedding night.
and I'm thinking of leaving him cos I'm hurting so much now.

I feel less of myself and sinful too


Please what should I do?


those that married non Virgin how did your spouse take it. I need to know cos it ll help reshaping my mindset

eelipumpin:
I don't think it's rape. It's one those JUST HAPPENED kinda situations.

Do you know Christ has paid for that sin? The prolong guilt is Satan's stronghold on you.

Righteousness is not our inability to fall but it is our responsibility to rise up when we fall. Christ is our righteousness.

God still sees you as a daughter not a non virgin. He still calls you His own. He still has you in His plan.

Virginity self righteousness really ate u up but this incident should teach you to judge less and value grace.


I wrote all these cuz u said you are Religious.

Don't be hard on your self when God is seeing differently.

Forgive yourself and marry the right Man God has designed for you.

You've learnt your mistakes. He was never a sincere Believer and you knew it.
Just be fine.

Richy4:
This sounds to me like a bad scripted movie...

The dude raped u..and u chose to keep it bottled up...

You said u can't leave because u love him... ok

If you don't want to marry him, and the thought of marrying him has not crossed your mind what in God's name where you doing with him for one year?

You can't have all the package at a go dear.. you said he was financially ok, educated, promising.. etc but not God fearing.. I guess you were thinking that you might change him....and he ended up changing u..
If u loved him as u claimed, accept him with all his faults.. don't let any one decide for you whom to be with..

If you don't want him, you should have ended it long time ago.end it.. don't marry him because you were no longer a virgin...that will be suicidal..
A lot of men would still want to be with you not because of your virginity...

Please next time don't go to a man's house when you know that you won't play ball even if he is an angel.. always meet at a public space.. even when you were hugging him, give some room for Jesus between the two of you..

tomdon:
You're rude for insulting me because of my choices which is my exclusive preserve.
It's not possible for a man to rape a lady if he has not decapacitated her, except she doesn't want to fight back. She didn't mention being decapacitated, it will be an exception if he did because they're dating or let's say they're in a relationship
And you think she is right to be frolicking with the guy and going to his house even though she has reservations about him and she said she wanted to marry as a virgin??

smileing:
I was hopping to see a concrete evidence to confirm that he is not the one
was blinded by love too

thorpido:
Do you consider reporting him to the authorities? What he did is rape and he has no excuses for doing that.

You don't think your people will like him,in your heart of hearts,you don't really think he is the one.
You should wear your shoes to walk,innit?

otherway:
You must be one of those who live their lives by "the prophet said"

Please ask those who say he is not your husband to tell you who your husband is,his name,tribe,house address,skin colour etc.

This is how women destroy their marital lives with my pastor said.Mumu

thorpido:
Do you consider reporting him to the authorities? What he did is rape and he has no excuses for doing that.

You don't think your people will like him,in your heart of hearts,you don't really think he is the one.
You should wear your shoes to walk,innit?

smileing:
Please I need responsible advice

Many were coming as suitors but I don't know why I let him come closer.

He forcefully took away my pride and I was hurt. He said he did that cos he doesn't want to lose me

I wanted to leave but I couldn't cos I love him.
I don't offer sex cos I'm religious and I believe it's a sin. Told him to wait till marriage but he wouldn't.
for almost a year we ve been courting I didn't allow him touch me.

Till this day he forcefully had sex with me .
He wants to come pay my dowry but I'm not sure that my people will let me marry him. I too went and prayed about him and they told me that he is not my husband (about 5 different people said it)

He is OK, financially, is educated and promising.
But not God-fearing as I wanted.

Now I'm pained for what he did to me .I'm grieved cos I wanted to lose my pride on my wedding night.
and I'm thinking of leaving him cos I'm hurting so much now.

I feel less of myself and sinful too


Please what should I do?


those that married non Virgin how did your spouse take it. I need to know cos it ll help reshaping my mindset

oyetpel:
Fück you.

People like you always come online to seek empathy for your actions.

You tag your parents old school and won't listen to their instructions. And talk thrash about them online, calling thrm slaves to men patriarchy. Now you can't tell her what happened to you.

I am going to church this morning, but you just made me tired of all this church shîts, you stupid girls always acting like saint in church. Religion is indeed a scam.

Your mom and women of old faced more than these, and they lived through it, be forming like other confused Westerners who themselves are confused, timid and soft.

It's your fate, deal with unless the guy say he doesn't want to marry you again.