₦airaland Forum

pansophist:
When you stop misconstruing in a literal sense, only then you will understand the point in those sentences

Forget about that. I only agree with the providing part not protection and defending.
Only few women will even agree with you that they want protection or defending from the man they want to marry.

Have you ever seen a woman agree that she's weak? probably no. The average woman on the street will do anything possible to convince you that she's not weak .

Stop saying otherwise.

Elder001:
Forget about that. I only agree with the providing part not protection and defending.
Only few women will even agree with you that they want protection or defending from the man they want to marry.

Have you ever seen a woman agree that she's weak? probably no. The average woman on the street will do anything possible to convince you that she's not weak .

Stop saying otherwise.

The notion of defending and protecting should not be solely understood under the concept of physical strength. And that is where you got it wrong. I'm referring to the traits she has been hardwired to be attracted to through thousand years of evolution.

It's the reason women will pick a muscular man over the skinny one, a taller one over the shorter, the richest over the poorest etc, even if these men will never fight to defend her for one day in their life. This is the area where I think the concept of gender equality is fully divorced from the reality on ground.

pansophist:
The notion of defending and protecting should not be solely understood under the concept of physical strength. And that is where you got it wrong. I'm referring to the traits she has been hardwired to be attracted to through thousand years of evolution.

It's the reason women will pick a muscular man over the skinny one, a taller one over the shorter, the richest over the poorest etc, even if this men will never fight to defend her for one day in their life. This is the area where I think the concept of gender equality is fully divorced from the reality on ground.

Nobody cares about muscles or tall men, my brother. We both know that an average Nigerian lady will pick a rich skinny guy over a poor muscular man.


And ,being tall or skinny doesn't determine strength.

pansophist:
The notion of defending and protecting should not be solely understood under the concept of physical strength. And that is where you got it wrong. I'm referring to the traits she has been hardwired to be attracted to through thousand years of evolution.

It's the reason women will pick a muscular man over the skinny one, a taller one over the shorter, the richest over the poorest etc, even if this men will never fight to defend her for one day in their life. This is the area where I think the concept of gender equality is fully divorced from the reality on ground.

BTW, you speak like a man filled with wisdom and philosophy.

Rilwayne001:
What I don't understand however is that, a girl that was with you when you were broke, but eventually leaves because she couldn't bear with you again, later on came back after you made it, isn't she a gold digger? And as well, is it safe to marry such a lady as a wife?

It depends. I will be very realistic with you bro. Everybody wants a better life for themselves (both men and women). I wouldn't blame a girl who leaves because I have nothing. In fact, I won't think about going into any relationship if I have nothing. I will first go and find a meaning for my life (not necessarily being filthy rich). But then, if you are in a relationship, broke, but with a strong vision for your life (which she knows about), any responsible girl should be able to think in the long term, if not, she's not worth your energy. She's all about the money, and will leave you if things turn bad again. But if you're broke, and yet have no vision(not working hard towards a goal), don't blame her for living.. You would do same if the table was reversed. We all want a better life

Mikolion87:
A lot of people obsess about girls, this is why they'll continue to play with you and milk you dry while channeling their love to the men they really care about. From my experience with girls, you don't need to struggle so much to get any girl's attention if you have attended first to the basic things. As it is said, first things first. This has been my message about dating and will continue to be, because it works. I don't know why guys like to take the hard route thereby jeopardizing their emotions. It hurts me to see guys degraded just because of a girl. This is why I have decided to pen this down.
If you want a girl to be all over you in reality, these are the basic things you should pursue, anyone telling you something else is not being realistic. You may succeed in getting a girl but you may not be able to keep her attracted to you for so long. In order not to be a victim of heartbreaks, follow these rules:

. Be independent and Successful : little wonder why many girls have abandoned their college lover for other men (real men). This should not come as a surprise. Success is attractive. Who wouldn't want to be associated with a successful and independent man. It is for this reason that most girls fall for doctors, lawyers, business men, etc. If you're still in school, face your studies, graduate, get a job.. Then you'll really begin to stress less about getting a girl. How do I know? Speaking from experience. This is the most important aspect of getting any girl. Every other rule is secondary.

. Be cute and presentable: Do not wear oversized clothes. Be moderately fashionable. Be clean and cute, with nice haircut. Wear a good cologne and footwear. If your dentition is bad, or you have stains or plaque on your teeth, or mouth odor, see a dentist. Looking good is good business.

. Have a good command of English language. It can be a turn off when one can't speak well enough. You don't have to speak big grammar. Simple words spoken well is enough. If you weren't opportune to go to school, it shouldn't stop you from learning. Learning is a lifetime process.

. Be romantic and have a good sense of humor: A good sense of humor has a way of turning on the emotional tap of every woman. You don't have to be a clown. Just know the right things to say at any point in time without appearing too serious. Crack jokes from time to time.

. Don't appear desperate : This is where a lot of guys screw things up by desperately pursuing a girl. It can be a total turn off. It is said that scarcity creates value. Be caring without appearing desperate and boggy. It will give her enough room to think about you and miss you.

. Be Cool, Calm and Collected. You don't have to be violent to prove your worth. Good Character is a very attractive virtue. Everyone is drawn to someone perceived to have good qualities. Be a good listener, extend generosity to the less privileged, be caring and sensitive to her emotions, be humble etc. Charms strike the sight but merit wins the soul.

. Do not compliment her too soon or ask her out: The idea is not trying to do the conventional things others do. This is the exact reason most girls go after guys who don't seem to be giving them any attention. This gets them confused and at the same time stupefied. They unconsciously start longing for your compliment and attention.

. Tell her about your other female friends (even if you have none). Do it in a normal way, like, telling her about the ones you once went out with, and the experiences you had with them. This will make her believe you have other options aside her. It will increase the value she has for you. By so doing, you're turning around the table, she'll be the one doing the chasing (unless she's so good at pretending not to care).

At this time, you must have succeeded in getting her attracted to you without appearing desperate. Asking her out would only be a formality. An opportunity she would be so happy to grab.

If she does not seem to care after all these (for reasons best known to her, or perhaps she might be in a serious relationship), do not push it. Look elsewhere. Don't kill yourself because of a woman. There are so many beautiful women out there. If she is interested, she'll give you hints.. If she's not, be mature enough not to throw tantrums. Look elsewhere with your dignity and respect intact.

Don't go about pursuing girls without first finding a purpose for your life. It will give you more confidence and pave the way for you. Seek to make girls attracted to you and coming for you instead of the other way.

NB: This does not intend to make anyone a womanizer, but to increase their confidence with girls. My advice is this:
. Date only when you're ready to settle down
. Make friends with the female folks. If you find anyone you fancy and that fancies you, date her. If she's good, marry her.
. Don't jump from one girl to another. By so doing, you waste valuable time, emotions, and resources.

Daalu nu

Kudos to the op. Nice write up.

Elder001:
Nobody cares about muscles or tall men, my brother. We both know that an average Nigerian lady will pick a rich skinny guy over a poor muscular man.


And ,being tall or skinny doesn't determine strength.

A rich guy's money will buy the end result (safe neighbourhood, security) of what muscles will do (fight, protect). Humans evolves over time, and our attraction to traits do change as well. All things being equal, a woman will choose a richer Ramsey Noah than a similarly richer Aki and paw paw lol.

OP some People's father didn't need to follow all you listed before girls started to rush them kee!

pansophist:
A rich guy's money will buy the end result (safe neighbourhood, security) of what muscles will do (fight, protect). Humans evolves over time, and our attraction to traits do change as well. All things being equal, a woman will choose a richer Ramsey Noah than a similarly richer Aki and paw paw lol.

OP you'll agree safe neighborhood and security is better than muscles Sha

Wilfredpat22:
To be honest sir only few things can make a woman fall for a guy cuteness is not one of them. Money can make a man cute in a lady’s eyes (especially in Nigeria)

A woman doesn’t care about your command of English. You can speak broken or pidgin. In fact sir two of you can speak Yoruba from beginning to end.

Valid points from your writeup are

Be independent (have a car)
Tell her about other ladies(very important)
Be calm and don’t appear desperate


For hustling guys please forget about us for now I beg you. My younger brother went away from home at the age of 19 after his ex disappointed him now he is 24 and has his car (Camry muscle) his ex came to our house one day and was begging. I was the one who took a knife and chased her out to the front of the house. All the ladies are disappointment in Nigeria

I am not excluded

Please men use your head

Hmm

jorion:
Trying to impress a girl by treating her right is a disaster waiting to happen. If you have money, treat her like scum and she will respect you. The moment you begin to treat her with respect, she will begin to act funny. Am not saying you should abuse her though. But money is power

Bitches don't like to be treated with respect
Ladies love to be treated with respect. It's just that there are many bitches out there more than ladies

pansophist:
A rich guy's money will buy the end result (safe neighbourhood, security) of what muscles will do (fight, protect). Humans evolves over time, and our attraction to traits do change as well. All things being equal, a woman will choose a richer Ramsey Noah than a similarly richer Aki and paw paw lol.

Insecurity isn't limited to a particular neighborhood. Most villagers live in peace but some people living in cool major cities don't rest because of insecurities.

Even in California there's insecurity.

Are you married yet? If you're not,I'll advice you to marry a lady who's in the same social class as you when you're ready.

Mikolion87:
If one is successful but does not know how to treat a girl well, she may prefer to settle down with the guy who treats her well but has no money. But then, if she finds one who has money and still knows how to treat her well, she'll leave her poor dude for him. It's a combination of many attributes working together. But, the relevance of money (not necessarily filthy rich type), cannot be overemphasized. Get independent first, then add other attributes to it, then you'll be good to go.

The only thing i can agree with is a man should be financially independent before anything. This will always give him leverage at some point. Anything else regarding your experience is not guarantee. They are so unpredictable. I read a guy online over a yr ago. He is financially independent and have a kid or two from previous relationship., and own his own home. He met a lady who also has a kid or two from "previous relationship" (relationship was current in reality) but her baby father was a jackass who goes in and out of jail. At the time they met, the dude was already in jail and the new man knows about it. She acknowledged that she no longer interested in him and that they broke up bcus he is a violent type. He doesnt have a place of his own. The new guy who was actually serious and willing to marry her took good care of her money wise and other stuff. One day, he came home from work to find the lady and her baby father was released from jail in his bedroom making it out. He wasted no time and threw her out.

Listen, they are gold diggers or manipulative vindictive women. You can be rich and give her heavens and all that, she will still do nonsense. I have my personal experience too that i am not willing to tell. It is crazy.

karlboss:
Bitches don't like to be treated with respect
Ladies love to be treated with respect. It's just that there are many bitches out there more than ladies

You are so right. I just avoided using the profanity they are called. If you treat them with respect you lose. Thats why bunch of them end up with fvckboys. They would run back to nice guys to complain about their miserable life but in reality, their heart is with fuckboy. So ditch them.

Op how do you deal with boring women. Many women in this continent are just too dull and boring

Mikolion87:
You said to treat her like scum, and at the same time you're saying you don't mean she should be abused. Bro, you're contradicting yourself. I don't know who has been feeding you such ideas. Any girl who will stick to any guy who disrespects her just because he has money is obviously a gold digger without any self worth and value. I'm sure you wouldn't like to go after just any kinDCd of girl. Any girl who knows her worth will dump your sorry ass the moment you disrespect her.

At the same time, if you have taken time to read the post, you'll realize I never mentioned anything like trying to impress her. I said you should be caring without appearing DESPERATE and also not giving her so much attention. It's a matter of striking a balance. But you should never treat a woman like a scum, rather be MYSTERIOUS.

Have you ever heard the phrase "why do ladies love jerks". Why will she go on a date with you (the nice guy who treats her well) but comes back home to be ripped apart in a jerks bed. Women don't wanna treated right, they don't wanna be bored. Give them a great challenge filled with drama and good sex and they will never wanna leave even if they have multiple boyfriends who are always chasing her. I'm not saying you should slap her or anything but constantly feed her with drama

karlboss:
Bitches don't like to be treated with respect
Ladies love to be treated with respect. It's just that there are many bitches out there more than ladies

Reality check: all ladies wanna be treated like a bitch.

Na dem dey rush us

pansophist:
Nice one op,

Women are not solely attracted to men in the same way men are attracted to women. Men attraction lies in the resources and value they can offer. This is where most young guys got it unfigured out. What makes a woman attractive to a man is naturally given to her (her beauty, femininity, fertility, nurturing abilities), for men, it has to be worked for. To be successful and capable of providing, defending, and protecting.

Women will always view broke men with disdain not because she wants to, but because she is wired to go for the top male and procreate for them thus, making sure the strongest genes are passed down to the next generation. This is the evolutionary basis why women always go for rich men and men always go for young women in their most fertile moment (18-29 years).

An example displaying this dynamic is also why old men can always marry down a young woman in her most fertile moment, but women can't do the same. Again, a successful man is an attractive man.

It goes further than these but understanding the above makes one channel necessary energy in hustling, instead of wasting it impressing women.

May unrivalled wisdom never depart from you.

Empiree:
The only thing i can agree with is a man should be financially independent before anything. This will always give him leverage at some point. Anything else regarding your experience is not guarantee. They are so unpredictable. I read a guy online over a yr ago. He is financially independent and have a kid or two from previous relationship., and own his own home. He met a lady who also has a kid or two from "previous relationship" (relationship was current in reality) but her baby father was a jackass who goes in and out of jail. At the time they met, the dude was already in jail and the new man knows about it. She acknowledged that she no longer interested in him and that they broke bcus he is a violent type. He doesnt have a place of his own. The new guy who was actually serious and willing to marry her took good care of her money wise and other stuff. One day, he came home from work to find the lady and her baby father was released from jail in his bedroom making it out. He wasted no time and threw her out.

Listen, they are gold diggers or manipulative vindictive women. You can be rich and give her heavens and all that, she will still do nonsense. I have my personal experience too that i am not willing to tell. It is crazy.

Of course, I understand perfectly that it may not be a guarantee she'll stay after doing all these. There's always exceptions to every rule. There's also a possibility that her former man is good in bed (better than her new man), that's another thing no man should neglect. However, the things I have written are attributes that will give you a chance to be considered for a date (at this stage, you haven't even started sleeping together).

In all, if you are sure to have followed all these well enough and she still doesn't stick to you after she accepted you, it's either she realized you're not what she thought or she's the one with a problem. If the latter is the case, be more than happy to let her go sir.

mrlova:
OP some People's father didn't need to follow all you listed before girls started to rush them kee!

Lol.. That's because some people's mother didn't have the privilege of being "rushed" by the kind of men they'd prefer. So, they had to do the rushing instead and accept any man that surfaces.

jorion:
Have you ever heard the phrase "why do ladies love jerks". Why will she go on a date with you (the nice guy who treats her well) but comes back home to be ripped apart in a jerks bed. Women don't wanna treated right, they don't wanna be bored. Give them a great challenge filled with drama and good sex and they will never wanna leave even if they have multiple boyfriends who are always chasing her. I'm not saying you should slap her or anything but constantly feed her with drama

That's of course after you've got her. The things I listed are however needed before you even have a chance to date her. During dating, you can then up your game. Good sex, maturity, not being clingy, etc will score you better points. But then, it varies with different girls.

Elder001:
Nobody cares about muscles or tall men, my brother. We both know that an average Nigerian lady will pick a rich skinny guy over a poor muscular man.


And ,being tall or skinny doesn't determine strength.

You nailed it man

A lot of discussions going on here... The OP nailed it

make i face front then

I love this. The op has done well But permit me to extend this write up to the Females too. Self development shouldn't be restricted to Men only while Women remain at the Receiving phase. Women too should learn to be what they want in Men. They should strive to be successful, Attractive, Intelligent, Cool,Calm,Collected , Independent and finally more Logical.

This is exactly what we need in our world today, More Men and Women who have achieved a stage of self realization, Men and Women of values and standards.The world is too stuffed with seekers, beggars and takers of love, money,security, peace and care than their providers.

Every individual should strive to be the best.

MariaLavina:
I love this. The op has done well But permit me to extend this write up to the Females too. Self development shouldn't be restricted to Men only while Women remain at the Receiving phase. Women too should learn to be what they want in Men. They should strive to be successful, Attractive, Intelligent, Cool,Calm,Collected , Independent and finally more Logical.

This is exactly what we need in our world today, More Men and Women who have achieved a stage of self realization, Men and Women of values and standards.The world is too stuffed with seekers, beggars and takers of love, money,security, peace and care than their providers.

Every individual should strive to be the best.

You're so right dear @MariaLavina. With the current economic crisis, everyone should be contributing rather than being a burden. Thank you

I posted this video before. This is what happens when man is too nice to them. This never gets old


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIUoMT1rY0w

They are confused people. She left her husband because he's too nice

So I ask, what exactly do they want?. I want NO drama queen at all. Lots of nonsense to have to deal with.

That your advice just the carry me go

Wilfredpat22:
To be honest sir only few things can make a woman fall for a guy cuteness is not one of them. Money can make a man cute in a lady’s eyes (especially in Nigeria)

A woman doesn’t care about your command of English. You can speak broken or pidgin. In fact sir two of you can speak Yoruba from beginning to end.

Valid points from your writeup are

Be independent (have a car)
Tell her about other ladies(very important)
Be calm and don’t appear desperate


For hustling guys please forget about us for now I beg you. My younger brother went away from home at the age of 19 after his ex disappointed him now he is 24 and has his car (Camry muscle) his ex came to our house one day and was begging. I was the one who took a knife and chased her out to the front of the house. All the ladies are disappointment in Nigeria

I am not excluded

Please men use your head

you're definitely not a female, i have gone through your posts on nairaland and all you do is bash women online. I wonder why you're on a campaign against the female gender. If you had a terrible experience with a gf or a wife doesnt make all women the same. For you to masquerade as a female online to talk evil or bash women in the pretense that you're a female and your views are feminine shows how dangerous and psychopathic you are. I pray someone sees this and get you help because you're a danger to the society

Wilfredpat22:
To be honest sir only few things can make a woman fall for a guy cuteness is not one of them. Money can make a man cute in a lady’s eyes (especially in Nigeria)

A woman doesn’t care about your command of English. You can speak broken or pidgin. In fact sir two of you can speak Yoruba from beginning to end.

Valid points from your writeup are

Be independent (have a car)
Tell her about other ladies(very important)
Be calm and don’t appear desperate


For hustling guys please forget about us for now I beg you. My younger brother went away from home at the age of 19 after his ex disappointed him now he is 24 and has his car (Camry muscle) his ex came to our house one day and was begging. I was the one who took a knife and chased her out to the front of the house. All the ladies are disappointment in Nigeria

I am not excluded

Please men use your head

ANOTHER B!TCH !

pansophist:
Nice one op,

Women are not solely attracted to men in the same way men are attracted to women. Men attraction lies in the resources and value they can offer. This is where most young guys got it unfigured out. What makes a woman attractive to a man is naturally given to her (her beauty, femininity, fertility, nurturing abilities), for men, it has to be worked for. To be successful and capable of providing, defending, and protecting.

Women will always view broke men with disdain not because she wants to, but because she is wired to go for the top male and procreate for them thus, making sure the strongest genes are passed down to the next generation. This is the evolutionary basis why women always go for rich men and men always go for young women in their most fertile moment (18-29 years).

An example displaying this dynamic is also why old men can always marry down a young woman in her most fertile moment, but women can't do the same. Again, a successful man is an attractive man.

It goes further than these but understanding the above makes one channel necessary energy in hustling, instead of wasting it impressing women.

Bro, i always like your comments