₦airaland Forum

In my opinion, I think the marriage has already deteriorated as its beyond redemption at this point. From your story, your wife's love is apparently with the guy and not you. Question is, do you envisage a restoration of your marriage in any way? If no, please initiate divorce proceedings. If yes, then get professional counseling because if you continue at this rate, I'm afraid, violence may be inevitable.

Do not get confrontational with the guy or your wife as they both haven't committed any criminal offense and certainly the law wouldn't spare you should there be any injuries or fatalities.

For the sake of your child and your own future, handle it civilly.

Vikkioshio:
@OP If you still want your marriage, divorce isn't an option. Sit with your wife & talk, to know what the problem is & involve your spiritual heads, including persons she listens to. Keeping praying for her & love her more even though is not easy Please try watch this movie 'Fireproof Your Marriage '

please you people should atop using movies to atop real life situations?.. jeez watch movies up and down..how will that help him?..give him practical solutions not telemundo and Bollywood magic

Oga,don't over flog this matter. A lot of water has passed under the bridge you only realised this a little too late. She is long gone. Leaving a dog to the wild will only achieve one thing,wild!
Arresting the guy is lame,that will over expose your wife making you less a man! Obviously you're not in control of your wife. She seems not to care about your feelings at all. However, as it stands now, there's no need crying over split milk.
Call her family,show them all what you've found. Be a man, you equally sound weak and very uncoordinated. Stand on your feet and demand for things like a man. Please rule out divorce!

The way Nigerian ladies lie these days aint even funny anymore.
They lie into marriages.
I even know one getting married next week!.
OP use force divorce that witch before you die by food poison.
NB:- Do paternity test too

If u wan divorce her

Pls make both of family be present oooo

If not u go lose custody of ur child oo
In d nearest future..... She will end up brain washing d child dat u left them or ur drove them out of the hux.... Dis kin story happened in Benin city my hometown......

The man kw hold meeting onto matter like dis

Now as d man get money reach non of the children want to go close to him becus he hide drive e wife way day promicious

All my edo people I greet una o

nanauju:
Which aunty.. That person is a man hiding under a woman's moniker. If you read all through 'his' post, you will just understand that what he writes aren't what average women will even reason let alone type

No wonder. What a cretin

Olosho in disguise, bros wiseup leave her for that guy since she loves him more!

mysaviouralive:
Hello Admin pls move this to the front page and I will be in the comment section reading.

Pls I want to take a boldness step and I will not mind where it can lead to. I have to open an account now to post this. My wife is also a guest of nairaland and she will be seeing this post.

It happen that I got married to my wife over Nine yrs ago and we only have a Kid. I was working in a big company then before the new management came in and change the policy of the company and I was laid off. I was idle like 3yrs before I got another job. she is working in one of the biggest bank in Nigeria. Like 5yrs ago I noticed she will be smiling whenever she is chatting with one of her male colleague. I ask what are they normally discussing, but she told me that it was their office issue that they are discussing. I know the guy and his family and the guy has came to my house not more than four times.

It happen one day that I demanded to give her phone to browse because I was having problem with my phone. she gave me the phone around 10:30pm and I noticed she has has cleared all their chat. This make it look suspicious and I asked her immediately that why did you deleted the chat, but she told me it was a mistake. I think over it for sometime because I trust her then, but on the other hand my mind was telling me to find out more. As an IT expert I connected her phone to my system and do some forensic research on the phone, alas what I discovered was bad. My wife and the guy have been having an affair and chatting and sending their nude to themselves. I called her immediately and demanded to explain the pixture but she denial it and was telling me another story that she snap the pixture and to show me how she was Hot so that we can have sex that night.

she said I should show her where I got the nude pixs and before she came back from the office she has wipe all the pixs that I showed her thinking that I cannot recovered it anymore and I asked her why should you do that but was just begging me. I recovered all the pixs back and the chat she believe she has deleted and I have more proof that she has been cheating on me.

So I asked her to tell me the truth what is going on with the guy and her but she was just begging me. But I told him I dont want her to do or have anything with the guy again that if I catch her again she will not like what I will do for her, with the hope that she will change. Recently I noticed she stil chatting with the guy again and I rake on her to stop it but she told me that she was just explaining office issue she has when he (the guy) not around because she is the one that relief him on work.

This week they are still chatting late in the nite cos I always seen the chat, though she will delete it as soon as they chat finish but I always have the chat and also today they have chat alot to the extend that my wife was crying when she expecting good reply from the guy but the guy fail him and I noticed she has intimate with the guy rather than me her husband.

My wife can lie and so Promiscuous. I have called her severally to change but she did not, recently I heard she was talking with one of her online friend from Abuja when the guy told her he will be coming to visit her this coming week, and I expect my wife to tell me but uptill now she has not saying anything on it. This make me not to have much trust in her again because if she tell me something I will still think over it like five times again before I accepted.

So my plan now is to call the wife of her colleague and explain everything to the wife and I also planing of arresting her colleague because I still have the proof and dont mind what can come out of this, because I tired and cant continue like this anymore, ever since I have caught her I did not enjoy my home anylonger and I tried to erase it from my memory but not get it wright.

Pls save me and save my marriage if possible.

Thank you.

you`re very professional and a good adviser pls keep it up and god bless you.

mankettle:
@ Op.
1. keep the evidence.
2. don't tell the wife.
3. Since you have proof that your wife is committing adultery,, a. if you can tolerate her, don't divorce her if not get a divorce. get a lawyer to advise you.
4. if getting a divorce you can sue the colleague as the named party. if you are lucky, the Judge may award damages to you.
5. on no account must you arrest him as the offence he committed is purely civil and not criminal? except you stay up north.
6. do not allow the wife to loose her job as it will affect your finances.

you`re very professional and a good adviser pls keep it up and God bless you.

mankettle:
@ Op.
1. keep the evidence.
2. don't tell the wife.
3. Since you have proof that your wife is committing adultery,, a. if you can tolerate her, don't divorce her if not get a divorce. get a lawyer to advise you.
4. if getting a divorce you can sue the colleague as the named party. if you are lucky, the Judge may award damages to you.
5. on no account must you arrest him as the offence he committed is purely civil and not criminal? except you stay up north.
6. do not allow the wife to loose her job as it will affect your finances.

Truthfully sir, she will not change o.... Since you have warned her B4 not once.... Bro forget it.... Just call family meeting next week abeg...... And and make ur intentions clear to both family and let d guy too b present find way take pull d guy come una hux dat day...... So he will kw want he has caused with his yeye chat with married woman for night


I just day vex for d stupid guy for d bank

i`ll say never go through a woman`s phone if you`re not strong hearted but now that you have found out whats` up with her pls for the sake of your child work it out amicably and not involve police in arresting her colleague it`ll be childish of you sir but if you can`t live with the heart ache she has already caused ask her if she still want you or him then take it up from there and the fact you have`nt caught them in the act of adultery you cant divorce her with biblical backing i don`t know about islam if you can still divorce her and remain a faithful follower of islam.....

i personally will never be free with such woman so it`s best i let go of her i`ll do my best to look out for my child if i have with her.

[Have you ever married before?


quote author=mrAMG post=70406905]Get a divorce and let sleeping dogs lie.

Marriage is not by force, you may you’re ready for it, you may think that’s what you want but clearly the sign says otherwise.

Let go and seek happiness elsewhere[/quote]

You don't sound like a normal person or married man.i think your almost dead but good news is what is happening to you is not new. It has a solution . The solution is seek genuine spiritual help. In my case I was still single but I was held spiritually it was so bad that after catching her with her boyfriend by 11 pm I was still begging her and calling all her family and friends to beg on my behalf. The girl had a very bad spirit also I was reduced to two legs and few million naira dept. I almost lost my good job. What I did was seek help. Do not bother reporting to any human go spiritual. You said you had a job but lost it after you met her are you sure the child is yours probably she lied to you. Your life will be much better without her both materially and spiritually GOD help you
[https://m.ebay.com/itm/NEW-AC-COMPRESSOR-2007-2008-2009-2010-HONDA-CRV/253767251891?fits=Make%3AHonda%7CModel%3ACR-V&hash=item3b15b4f7b3:g:Dj0AAOxynapRg2sJquote author=mysaviouralive post=70406309]Hello Admin pls move this to the front page and I will be in the comment section reading.

Pls I want to take a boldness step and I will not mind where it can lead to. I have to open an account now to post this. My wife is also a guest of nairaland and she will be seeing this post.

It happen that I got married to my wife over Nine yrs ago and we only have a Kid. I was working in a big company then before the new management came in and change the policy of the company and I was laid off. I was idle like 3yrs before I got another job. she is working in one of the biggest bank in Nigeria. Like 5yrs ago I noticed she will be smiling whenever she is chatting with one of her male colleague. I ask what are they normally discussing, but she told me that it was their office issue that they are discussing. I know the guy and his family and the guy has came to my house not more than four times.

It happen one day that I demanded to give her phone to browse because I was having problem with my phone. she gave me the phone around 10:30pm and I noticed she has has cleared all their chat. This make it look suspicious and I asked her immediately that why did you deleted the chat, but she told me it was a mistake. I think over it for sometime because I trust her then, but on the other hand my mind was telling me to find out more. As an IT expert I connected her phone to my system and do some forensic research on the phone, alas what I discovered was bad. My wife and the guy have been having an affair and chatting and sending their nude to themselves. I called her immediately and demanded to explain the pixture but she denial it and was telling me another story that she snap the pixture and to show me how she was Hot so that we can have sex that night.

she said I should show her where I got the nude pixs and before she came back from the office she has wipe all the pixs that I showed her thinking that I cannot recovered it anymore and I asked her why should you do that but was just begging me. I recovered all the pixs back and the chat she believe she has deleted and I have more proof that she has been cheating on me.

So I asked her to tell me the truth what is going on with the guy and her but she was just begging me. But I told him I dont want her to do or have anything with the guy again that if I catch her again she will not like what I will do for her, with the hope that she will change. Recently I noticed she stil chatting with the guy again and I rake on her to stop it but she told me that she was just explaining office issue she has when he (the guy) not around because she is the one that relief him on work.

This week they are still chatting late in the nite cos I always seen the chat, though she will delete it as soon as they chat finish but I always have the chat and also today they have chat alot to the extend that my wife was crying when she expecting good reply from the guy but the guy fail him and I noticed she has intimate with the guy rather than me her husband.

My wife can lie and so Promiscuous. I have called her severally to change but she did not, recently I heard she was talking with one of her online friend from Abuja when the guy told her he will be coming to visit her this coming week, and I expect my wife to tell me but uptill now she has not saying anything on it. This make me not to have much trust in her again because if she tell me something I will still think over it like five times again before I accepted.

So my plan now is to call the wife of her colleague and explain everything to the wife and I also planing of arresting her colleague because I still have the proof and dont mind what can come out of this, because I tired and cant continue like this anymore, ever since I have caught her I did not enjoy my home anylonger and I tried to erase it from my memory but not get it wright.

Pls save me and save my marriage if possible.

Thank you.[/quote]

mysaviouralive:
Hello Admin pls move this to the front page and I will be in the comment section reading.

Pls I want to take a boldness step and I will not mind where it can lead to. I have to open an account now to post this. My wife is also a guest of nairaland and she will be seeing this post.

It happen that I got married to my wife over Nine yrs ago and we only have a Kid. I was working in a big company then before the new management came in and change the policy of the company and I was laid off. I was idle like 3yrs before I got another job. she is working in one of the biggest bank in Nigeria. Like 5yrs ago I noticed she will be smiling whenever she is chatting with one of her male colleague. I ask what are they normally discussing, but she told me that it was their office issue that they are discussing. I know the guy and his family and the guy has came to my house not more than four times.

It happen one day that I demanded to give her phone to browse because I was having problem with my phone. she gave me the phone around 10:30pm and I noticed she has has cleared all their chat. This make it look suspicious and I asked her immediately that why did you deleted the chat, but she told me it was a mistake. I think over it for sometime because I trust her then, but on the other hand my mind was telling me to find out more. As an IT expert I connected her phone to my system and do some forensic research on the phone, alas what I discovered was bad. My wife and the guy have been having an affair and chatting and sending their nude to themselves. I called her immediately and demanded to explain the pixture but she denial it and was telling me another story that she snap the pixture and to show me how she was Hot so that we can have sex that night.

she said I should show her where I got the nude pixs and before she came back from the office she has wipe all the pixs that I showed her thinking that I cannot recovered it anymore and I asked her why should you do that but was just begging me. I recovered all the pixs back and the chat she believe she has deleted and I have more proof that she has been cheating on me.

So I asked her to tell me the truth what is going on with the guy and her but she was just begging me. But I told him I dont want her to do or have anything with the guy again that if I catch her again she will not like what I will do for her, with the hope that she will change. Recently I noticed she stil chatting with the guy again and I rake on her to stop it but she told me that she was just explaining office issue she has when he (the guy) not around because she is the one that relief him on work.

This week they are still chatting late in the nite cos I always seen the chat, though she will delete it as soon as they chat finish but I always have the chat and also today they have chat alot to the extend that my wife was crying when she expecting good reply from the guy but the guy fail him and I noticed she has intimate with the guy rather than me her husband.

My wife can lie and so Promiscuous. I have called her severally to change but she did not, recently I heard she was talking with one of her online friend from Abuja when the guy told her he will be coming to visit her this coming week, and I expect my wife to tell me but uptill now she has not saying anything on it. This make me not to have much trust in her again because if she tell me something I will still think over it like five times again before I accepted.

So my plan now is to call the wife of her colleague and explain everything to the wife and I also planing of arresting her colleague because I still have the proof and dont mind what can come out of this, because I tired and cant continue like this anymore, ever since I have caught her I did not enjoy my home anylonger and I tried to erase it from my memory but not get it wright.

Pls save me and save my marriage if possible.

Thank you.

Tell her to go and marry the guy, and remove hand from her case; as simple as that! A cheat would always remain a cheat. U ve caught her red handed severally via chat, so send the bitch packing. My advice to men and women is that u should get married your friends or to people u have known for some years, not someone u just met within a few months or 1 year, and u are getting married. Send the fool packing!!!!

Elder001:
If this stuff actually works in Nigeria male celebrities wouldn't be cheating with their wives neither will female celebrities be cheating on their husbands.
Seems like you mistake Nigeria for UK or USA.

the word used was May. it is provided for under the law, but most times because of shame men do not ask for it

Pataricatering:
it is being reviewed right under your nose !

I laugh
Women don't talk where I come from
U are part of a man's property
So how do ur feminist rights want to change it
Una power na for Twitter and Facebook
Come village if dem no go squeeze u like rag

I didn't one day sleep with any married woman..... I don't take nonsense o
If I catch my wife for matter like dis no abeg oo
Even if I forgive becus of my children na parlour I go start to sleep........


This erra of mobile phone there is going to b alot of break up and divorce.... More is coming becus some ladies don't kw hw to call a spade a spade wen chatting wen day are married..... Instead make u and ur husband day plan una life for night or make love... Na to day browse and chat she day do hmmmmm..... Na one browsing phone or laptop me and my wife go get o

Poster why are you disturbing us this beautiful Sunday afternoon? From your writeup, it is obvious you will NEVER leave this marriage.
You simply came here to be consoled whereas in your heart you know you are bound to your cheating wife. I bet you would forgive her if you discovered the child isnt yours.
Continue to endure enjoy your marriage and leave us in peace. Thank you.

If u reside within irecary (Isolo) & ur wife branch is around ejigbo (NNPC) ...Lagos , Sorry bro u gat no wife but a bitch , prostitute as in a public toilet.

mankettle:
the word used was May. it is provided for under the law, but most times because of shame men do not ask for it

No judge will order it for you...who'll pay the damages?

Is it the wife who started the conversation or who? No Nigerian man will be so foolish to talk about that clause because he'll end up disgracing himself the more .

akayy007:
i`ll say never go through a woman`s phone if you`re not strong hearted but now that you have found out whats` up with her pls for the sake of your child work it out amicably and not involve police in arresting her colleague it`ll be childish of you sir but if you can`t live with the heart ache she has already caused ask her if she still want you or him then take it up from there and the fact you have`nt caught them in the act of adultery you cant divorce her with biblical backing i don`t know about islam if you can still divorce her and remain a faithful follower of islam.....

i personally will never be free with such woman so it`s best i let go of her i`ll do my best to look out for my child if i have with her.

Ask her if she still wants u
Na wa oh
To sound nice online really makes u all spew trash
He married her traditionally
What does his tradition say
Until u guys know that traditions don't operate on nairaland the better for u
U just want him dead
He should take her to his people
The rites must be done
She must confess openly
Before he can have anything with her
U are pushing this man to his grave

Only if he is Yoruba
Him no get problem
If he is from my Niger delta
Him don know say woman dey cheat
Him dey even drink water wey she dey give am
He is dying slowly
Oga u married her by tradition
Take her home and undo this calamity coming to u
U go die and ten women go cross ur grave
Toto no be world cup

And I bet u..... May b d wife is d bread winner of d hux... Just saying

..

Why is this one crying? If they are hitting your wife outside, send her out so that she will receive it well. My friend move on with your life. Divorce her period. Na when she carry another man pikin come plant for your head, your eye go open.
Even if she repents today, she will do it again. If she feeding you? Common get off nairaland and send her back to her parents. Plan a visit to your former in-laws with the evidence you got and tell them you are done.

smasher1:
You said it all. Are you quoting from the New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures?

Yeah, you were fast to grab that.

mysaviouralive:
Hello Admin pls move this to the front page and I will be in the comment section reading.

Pls I want to take a boldness step and I will not mind where it can lead to. I have to open an account now to post this. My wife is also a guest of nairaland and she will be seeing this post.

It happen that I got married to my wife over Nine yrs ago and we only have a Kid. I was working in a big company then before the new management came in and change the policy of the company and I was laid off. I was idle like 3yrs before I got another job. she is working in one of the biggest bank in Nigeria. Like 5yrs ago I noticed she will be smiling whenever she is chatting with one of her male colleague. I ask what are they normally discussing, but she told me that it was their office issue that they are discussing. I know the guy and his family and the guy has came to my house not more than four times.

It happen one day that I demanded to give her phone to browse because I was having problem with my phone. she gave me the phone around 10:30pm and I noticed she has has cleared all their chat. This make it look suspicious and I asked her immediately that why did you deleted the chat, but she told me it was a mistake. I think over it for sometime because I trust her then, but on the other hand my mind was telling me to find out more. As an IT expert I connected her phone to my system and do some forensic research on the phone, alas what I discovered was bad. My wife and the guy have been having an affair and chatting and sending their nude to themselves. I called her immediately and demanded to explain the pixture but she denial it and was telling me another story that she snap the pixture and to show me how she was Hot so that we can have sex that night.

she said I should show her where I got the nude pixs and before she came back from the office she has wipe all the pixs that I showed her thinking that I cannot recovered it anymore and I asked her why should you do that but was just begging me. I recovered all the pixs back and the chat she believe she has deleted and I have more proof that she has been cheating on me.

So I asked her to tell me the truth what is going on with the guy and her but she was just begging me. But I told him I dont want her to do or have anything with the guy again that if I catch her again she will not like what I will do for her, with the hope that she will change. Recently I noticed she stil chatting with the guy again and I rake on her to stop it but she told me that she was just explaining office issue she has when he (the guy) not around because she is the one that relief him on work.

This week they are still chatting late in the nite cos I always seen the chat, though she will delete it as soon as they chat finish but I always have the chat and also today they have chat alot to the extend that my wife was crying when she expecting good reply from the guy but the guy fail him and I noticed she has intimate with the guy rather than me her husband.

My wife can lie and so Promiscuous. I have called her severally to change but she did not, recently I heard she was talking with one of her online friend from Abuja when the guy told her he will be coming to visit her this coming week, and I expect my wife to tell me but uptill now she has not saying anything on it. This make me not to have much trust in her again because if she tell me something I will still think over it like five times again before I accepted.

So my plan now is to call the wife of her colleague and explain everything to the wife and I also planing of arresting her colleague because I still have the proof and dont mind what can come out of this, because I tired and cant continue like this anymore, ever since I have caught her I did not enjoy my home anylonger and I tried to erase it from my memory but not get it wright.

Pls save me and save my marriage if possible.

Thank you.

Save your marriage?? Bro you have no marriage. You 're still taking it lightly, that's why she is playing you. Divorce her simple. Send her away.

CanadianEnginee:
You have a mental problem, it's so evident in your other posts. May God give you someone who will tame this stupidity of yours .
Women are the ones that should pray and watch WAR ROOM. He can afford to kick her out , she'll definitely lose. The guy she's flirting with won't leave his wife for her and men hardly go for the after-1s etc.

we stopped WATCHING and praying for a cheating spouse a long time ago boy! We have channeled this energy into being an awesome individual. So you see boy, you can jump into any pant you see littering the streets.. Ain't nobody got time to salvage your sick self!

I can understand what you are going through but betrayal often comes from cheating but are you sure your hands are clean or she has found out or caught you in any of such that could lead to her to retaliate.

please follow my advice based on past experiences:

1.Lets her understand what she is doing could let's to unthinkable pains and sorrow for her home.
2.meet with an elder in her family that could profer a resolution with the help of parents.
3.Visit the bank and request for a meeting with the said colleague since he has come to your house on fourth occasions.
4.Show more love to her during this time and improve on the kinds of new adventures to regain her sense of couples intimacy.
5.Evaluate what could have let her to engaged in such immorality with a colleague at the bank, because it's later end brings shame and disgraced let's her understand all this.
6.Invite your pastor into your home for counseling and open up to the pastor on the happenings in your marriage.
7.Above all find a place in your heart to forgive her and let's her understand the sacrifice you are doing for her for the progress of the marriage.
8.Dont involved a third party into your home rather an elder who can settle it amicably.
9.Encourage her to go for a deliverance .
10.Take her to rekindle your relationship and love again

Try all this I hope you will appreciate me later. 08032387510

mrAMG:
Get a divorce and let sleeping dogs lie.

Marriage is not by force, you may you’re ready for it, you may think that’s what you want but clearly the sign says otherwise.

Let go and seek happiness elsewhere

Excellent advice

Elder001:
No judge will order it for you...who'll pay the damages?

Is it the wife who started the conversation or who? No Nigerian man will be so foolish to talk about that clause because he'll end up disgracing himself the more .

1. there are factors the court will consider before granting the damages including the nature of the wife, her actual value, her character etc.
section 31 of the matrimonial causes act provides for the damages.
2. courts in Nigeria have considered damages for adultery. in cases like Agu vs Agu, Evoroja vs Evoroja amongst others.
thank you

Ishilove:
Aunty, speak for yourself and stop your satanic generalisation.

You are the one been satanic here, because if you hadn't open ur legs for countless men, u would'nt have been pained....

That lady just said the obtainable truth

mankettle:
1. there are factors the court will consider before granting the damages including the nature of the wife, her actual value, her character etc.
section 31 of the matrimonial causes act provides for the damages.
2. courts in Nigeria have considered damages for adultery. in cases like Agu vs Agu, Evoroja vs Evoroja amongst others.
thank you

Who paid the damages?