Kinggnicole:

Lol..were you expecting me to give the cliche Nigerian wife "pray that God touches his heart" advice?

I say it again! She has to leave if it gets to that point. From the write up above, her husband is outright disrespectful and obviously doesn't care about her needs and wants. Imagine telling her to stay and take care of the children so that nothing happens to them since she knows she's not fertile. How insensitive!

OP apologise to him again(if you need to because this is an issue of trust and is quite sensitive too) but tell him squarely that you are not quitting your job. Also give him some more time. If he's not budging , you know what to do.

ehis05:
madam u are wrong abeg and u stil talking about leave...if our parents left themselves wen dey had issues 90 percent of us wud hav been from broken homes.. Things where fine before now so definately it can go bck to been normal its jus for d man to forget and may nt happen suddenly buh eventually...dnt always hav dat idea of leave leave wen domestic violence is not involved..marriage is for better for worse

Juliearth:



Belief you me, he would have left her...

Alexk2:
You goofed big time by keeping such secret before marriage; it's called deciet and pls stop justifying your actions with such shallow reasons but the deed is done already and now unto the way out.
Don't talk to your parents until all other means fails...pls don't?
"Genuinely" say you're sorry and apologize while taking responsibility for your insincerity prior to now; don't try to justify or find excuse for your action while doing that.....I know you claimed you've done that severally but trust me, you may need to do it properly if you want him to understand.
If the above failed, look for someone he "respect" and listen to like his pastor or anybody that he respect dearly and talk to him/her about the whole issues and let him apologize on your behalf and talk to him.
If that one fall too which I doubt, then report him to his parents.

DaddyNimo:

girls will never change, you're just a wicked soul....i hope he marries anoda wife. You should have given him the chance to love u and your faults... you denied him truelove, you planned it and you're only sorry he brilliantly caught u in your scamming act. fork u.

Kinggnicole:
You were wrong and you apologised.
I just hope you are not considering quiting your job. He's already rubbing it in your face that you are not fertile. Imagine adding jobless to the mix. He'll rub that in too forgetting he asked you to leave.

He's already abusing you emotionally. You have to be strong dear. And by being strong you have to know when to leave.

Wilfredpat22:
The truth is that you deceived him. Well we all deceive men one way or the other. You started dating when you were 29, what happened between 21-28, you were sleeping around with married men I guess

This is as a repercussion for the evils you must have done in school and to other women’s homes. Now yours will be shattered. We ladies don’t hear or listen and eventually it will lead to our downfall


Let your husband look for some one fertile and responsible. By the way Are you sure those kids are his?

Kinggnicole:

Lol..were you expecting me to give the cliche Nigerian wife "pray that God touches his heart" advice?

I say it again! She has to leave if it gets to that point. From the write up above, her husband is outright disrespectful and obviously doesn't care about her needs and wants. Imagine telling her to stay and take care of the children so that nothing happens to them since she knows she's not fertile. How insensitive!

OP apologise to him again(if you need to because this is an issue of trust and is quite sensitive too) but tell him squarely that you are not quitting your job. Also give him some more time. If he's not budging , you know what to do.

Kiishii:



Okay sir, thank you.

babyfaceafrica:
he should be grateful that his wife was dishonest with him?..the way you people view marriage is funny....she was dishonest simple!!!....that marriage is over

Kiishii:
I don't even know how to start, I'm really sad and i know it is my fault, i'm sorry if it's a long read i need advise please bear with me.

When i was still single at age 29, I left a relationship that turned out be a mistake so it took time before i met someone else, at age 31 I noticed changes in my period (one month off, one month on) it has never happened to me before so i didnt take it to be anything, then it started skipping 2 months at a roll, then 3 months, i became worried cos i wasn't sexualy active at all. During this period i met my husband and we started something serious, to be on a safe side i went to see the doctor, he said i was fine that it's hormonal changes, he gave me some drugs (mostly vitamins) but it was still skipping, when my husband proposed, i went back to the doctor, he did series of tests, when results came out he said i'm having symptoms of POF, i was shocked, i cried and cried cos it's unheard of for someone my age, i told him i'm about to get married what can i do he said i should start taking hormonal injections since it's too early to be POF, i started taking it and praying all will be fine, all this while i didnt say a word of this to my husband to be or anyone else, then we got married, i took in immediately, it was the happiest day of my life, when we discovered it was triplets i cried tears of joy to the extent that my husband wondered why i was soo happy, i gave birth to 2 boys and a girl, i really thank God for his faithfulness cos i was soo nervous during the pregnancy.

My period was still skipping, then this year march it stopped completely, i went to see 2 different doctors to be sure, they confirmed i have POF (early menopause), i cried and still thank God cos he blessed me with the fruit of the womb but i couldnt bring myself to tell my husband, then he started noticing i dont buy sanitary pad anymore, he asked thinking i was pregnant i always tell him no, at a point he had to ask me if i want to make the pregnancy a surprise, that was when i knew it's time to tell him the truth, i knelt down and told him everything, i held nothing back, he was shocked that i could do something like that to him, he said i should have told him before we got married, i told him he wouldnt have married me if i told him, he was angry, he said what if the hormonal injections didnt work, it was an expensive and wicked gamble, i told him it worked that's what matters now, he abused me and walked out of the house, he didnt come home till the next day, since then things have never been the same.

He hardly talks to me except when necessary, we dont gist and joke anymore, i always beg and beg him, he says he's forgiven me but he goes back to his moody self, we hardly make love anymore, when he finally does, he doesnt look at my face, now he wants me to quit my job so i'll have my full attention on the kids, recently we had a fight about it and i told him point blank i cant quit my job the kids are fine he said i must do that, he doesnt want anything happening to them since i'm no more fertile, who says that? I cried my eyes out that night, It's not my fault nature took it's course on me, i never imagined something like this would ever happen to me.

Now he doesn't talk to me at all anymore, i'm about to tell both our families everything cos i've begged and begged him and i'm tired, i want anonymous advise that's why i'm here, please please married men and women or whoever, how do i go about this?

alterswerve:
So you won't Google.. POF is Premature Ovarian Failure

Wow.. See.. Truthfully, under the law, if he decides to divorce cos of this issue, you know he'll win, cos his lawyer will say you deceived him into the marriage.

It's a tough one.

He's really pissed cos he's feeling that he was deceived into the marriage. He could be wondering how many other things you're keeping from him ry now.

Do what he wants if your marriage is of very high priority to you and let him know you're doing it to show him how sorry you are and for peace to reign between both of you.

Always staying with the kids doesn't guarantee that nothing bad will ever happen to them, and let him know that too.

It's a sacrifice or penance I think you should make IF YOUR MARRIAGE IS OF A HIGHER PRIORITY TO YOU THAN YOUR CAREER and his pay can take care of all y'all well.

My only scare now is that he doesn't begin to demand for more sacrifices from you. But looking at the positive side, if you submit, he may look back at this decision in the future and lift his ban on you working

Wish you the best

PS: You typed good. Big ups!

Amumaigwe:



She asked for advice from married folks who may have had similar issues in the marriage and overcame. Remember the woman is grieving over her failing marriage and wants to bring things back to usual. By your childish advice, you are either a very immature lady or silently jubilating over her woes.

Kiishii:



There isnt more to it, i kept it from him before marriage that's why he's reacting this way, he said it was a risky gamble, and i have apologised multiple times.

I had triplets.

Zivaharry:
look at ur unreasonable advice's...... What of the woman that kept every thing latent for years.......don't you think the man will be doubting himself as the biological father to those kids?..... You are here saying leave... Ur advice's is/are so unreasonable.

Kinggnicole:
You were wrong and you apologised.
I just hope you are not considering quiting your job. He's already rubbing it in your face that you are not fertile. Imagine adding jobless to the mix. He'll rub that in too forgetting he asked you to leave.

He's already abusing you emotionally. You have to be strong dear. And by being strong you have to know when to leave.