Lol.....

WHIZKIDEFE:
Dami 1 of Africa! Gingering spirit! After you, na you again.

Thanks, in Phyno's voice, 'yea, I know you gat my back, ibu Alobam'. *thumbs-up.

Big man, you are highly welcome to our small E-community, if you had deactivated your 'ghost-modeship' earlier, @Ikdbabie would had served you pop corn and coke to keep your body and soul together.

It's a pleasure to have you here, amongst us.

Ehen, just incase you dont know, dem nor dey find trouble here, SARS dey around o, I know say you be sharp-frosh boy.
Small David wey kill dat mumu Goliath, hwfa boss, hope say the current economy nor dey affect the size of your chest o.

I get high regard for you since the day I start to dey work out regularly to achieve my 'sexy Billionaire ' goals.

I don get to understand say getting fit na result of continous endurance of pain, no be child's play.
The motto na, No Pain, no Gain .

"Nothing good comes easy." If easy, e nor go make sense.

Make your head nor too big o, remember say you be still my bouncer o.

As for update, make we see as the go dey go first.

WHIZKIDEFE:

Small David wey kill dat mumu Goliath, hwfa boss, hope say the current economy nor dey affect the size of your chest o.

I get high regard for you since the day I start to dey work out regularly to achieve my 'sexy Billionaire ' goals.

I don get to understand say getting fit na result of continous endurance of pain, no be child's play.
The motto na, No Pain, no Gain .

"Nothing good comes easy." If easy, e nor go make sense.

Make your head nor too big o, remember say you be still my bouncer o.

As for update, make we see as the go dey go first.

Lol, my OGA, remember Wetin you promise me o. Na money be fine Bobo

WhizkidEfe i nobi ghost reader o. I jus no dey like to comment for story wey don far when i still dey beginning Anyway sha nice update

.

@daviesblaze, I nor dey make promise wey I nor fit keep o, wetin i promise you and which time I tey promise you?
(Explain fast before I loose my belt o)

Michaelblake40, I see you, sabi boy!


Oya make ona follow me feel dis Mr Eazi 'Lagos to London' new album with me. The boy try for dis one.

WHIZKIDEFE:
@daviesblaze, I nor dey make promise wey I nor fit keep o, wetin i promise you and which time I tey promise you?
(Explain fast before I loose my belt o)

Lol.
Ehn OGA you know na (scratches head)
I fit see like small thing to keep body and soul together (it's ask I'm asking o)

this your dp dikwa very risky sha

daviesblaze:


Lol.
Ehn OGA you know na (scratches head)
I fit see like small thing to keep body and soul together (it's ask I'm asking o)

Hmm. I'm here @ last. Waiting fr the next update. Don't keep us waiting fr too long.

Ikdbabie:
Hmm. I'm here @ last. Waiting fr the next update. Don't keep us waiting fr too long.

Welcome back, my lost but found First lady .

Babie,my Bambi, it feels cool to have you back you know.

WHIZKIDEFE:
Welcome back, my lost but found First lady .

Babie,my Bambi, it feels cool to have you back you know.

Same here. I'm happy to be back.

WHIZKIDEFE:

The Subtle art of not giving a fvck


Looks like someone is reading what I'm reading

daviesblaze, I see you!

I spoke with Update some minutes ago and I feel I should give you guys 'situation report' the following is an excerpt from our conversation.


'Update where are you?,' I asked immediately the call was answered.

"I dey come, wait,' it replied.

' if you like waste your time, wen all the readers go gather you beat ehn, I go just dey one corner dey laugh,' I replied before I hanged up.

Shey you can see is nor my fault o, update should be here anytime soon, but before then, dinner is set, comman join me o.

where is Efe oya comman welcome me
Am back from my journey,na hu dey for my position na

WhizkidEfe if i no see any thing i go beat you and update join

favch:
where is Efe oya comman welcome me

Am back from my journey,na hu dey for my position na

I'm here, but, i won't welcome you cos you left without notice, I would had reported you missing in the police station, but I do see you online, so I guessed you were doing okay and fine.

MichaelBlake40:
WhizkidEfe if i no see any thing i go beat you and update join

I for say you get mind o, but I con remember say who wan die nor dey get sense.. .

You know say @daviesblaze na my personal bouncer and you dey mis-yan for here abi, bros, why you dey find die?

@daviesblaze, e be like say I go soon fire you o, cos if you dey do your duty, all these tins for nor dey happen.

Oya carry dis man go backyard go drill small..

It wee nor be better for whoever broke Adele's heart.

I sure say na sledge hammer he tey break her heart.
(see wicked!) .

Adele, one of my favorites artiste.

WHIZKIDEFE:
I'm here, but, i won't welcome you cos you left without notice, I would had reported you missing in the police station, but I do see you online, so I guessed you were doing okay and fine.

I for say you get mind o, but I con remember say who wan die nor dey get sense.. .

You know say @daviesblaze na my personal bouncer and you dey mis-yan for here abi, bros, why you dey find die?

@daviesblaze, e be like say I go soon fire you o, cos if you dey do your duty, all these tins for nor dey happen.

Oya carry dis man go backyard go drill small..

Lol, with immediate effect.

@MichaelBlake40 is your brain paining you

Oya Frog Jump, 80 leaps

[quote author=WHIZKIDEFE post=73079776] I'm here, but, i won't welcome you cos you left without notice, I would had reported you missing in the police station, but I do see you online, so I guessed you were doing okay and fine.



now am back fully na
no more coming n leaving like a thief

Matters Arising!

I typed an update yesterday, a lengthy one at that and got banned by anti-spam bot back-to-back, and the whole time and effort just went into the air like that, if you notice, sometimes there are many typos in my updates, do you know why?
It's because I don't proof read, I just go to the typing section, do my thing (write) from my head and post straight up, that's why I don't feel I'm a writer yet.
( I'll get better with time though)

If you know how bad I felt when I saw both posts were removed ehn, you'll go and murder the anti spam bot wey do me dat wicked.

I nor blame the anti spam bot, I even mailed super mods to unban me, nothing sup. I just laughed it off and got me thinking it isn't their fault, after all we be like like tenant for this section, lol, if better money come, we go park go our own compound (website), na small, small. Lol.

We may retain this our small e-community here though, make we see as e dey go be first. Like 'Enya' sang, 'only time will tell'
( see wetin anti-spam bot dey make me think) chai

Dear readers, be ready o, we may move this our small e-community outta here to a 'World of our own ' like that Westlife's album, in no distant time, and we will build it together collectively in the spirit of 'na coporation make rice full pot' I know you understand.

Nairaland will continue to be one of my favorites site, nevertheless. And if the dream of getting our personal site comes through, I'll forever be grateful to this great forum for giving me an audience, and giving me the rare privelege to meet some wonderful souls out there, e nor easy . (Oga Seun, na man you be, nothing do you!)

That is for that.


Something happened on Monday morning and I can't keep this to myself, a reader I met here stewed my bank account with 10k this morning, the same person had subcribed me in the time past but pleaded to be left anonymous but this very one act of his shocked me, I still stare at the alert and my account to see if it's real cos it seemed like a joke to me at first, but it's so real.

Now, for someone I met through this story of mine, in this thread of ours to part with 10k just like is still beyond my imagination, truely good people still exists.

TOBillionaire, a reader turned brother, like I told you, I can't keep calm, I have to put it here to save this date on my E-diary, words can't quantify how grateful I'm for your act of kindness. May your account never run dry.

As you show me love so, no worry big man, we gon go places and achieve big dreams together.

Like Phyno and Olamide sang in 'Onyeoma',
Tobi,
When I hammer, I go show love oh,
I go spray you money,
I go spray dollar-dollar, pound sterling, you be my cheerful giver. Bless up bro!

My wish is, make money or woman nor separate us for dis life.

Also, on the 19-11-18 will be among one of the best days of my life cos I got something I had wished for a very long time. It's My New Dawn Era indeed!
Who said dreams don't come true if we believe and work towards achieving them?
(Story for another day)

I'm not lucky, I'm Blessed


Update loading.............

See the way d bot dey explain itself like say na lawyer e be

110k plus Views.. Jesu! See love! I can't fit shout!
Somebody pour me water before over happiness finish me.

Don Meneski where you dey? Ikdbabie and favch, can't you see what I'm seeing?

This story been start like play-play, but now, see where we've gotten to, I can proudly beat my chest and sing that Drake's sonng, ' started from the bottom, now we here '.

It's amazes me, despite my irregular updates, you guys still stick with me, and that's my definition of love, you keeping on motivating me with your likes, comments and views, I feel Blessed having you guys around me and if there is another word that is better than Thank you , that's what I would had used.

My lovely readers, ona too much o! I guess you guys don't really know what you mean to me, you mean everything to me, na ona dey ginger me to carry on.

Before the Nairaland Tsunami back then in 2012, I was just an ordinary reader in Literature section, my only favorite, matter of fact, I joined nairaland cos of literature section, but now, my story don mark register for dis section..
(I'm just feeling like I've made it in life already)

Who could had thought that one day, I would write a story that will grace the front page of the biggest online forum in Africa having a thread in this section is a privilege you (readers) gave to me, and I'm very grateful for it.

I had been planning to write a story for a long time coming but, the bastard called procrastination won't let me for so many years till that very day, I looked at the idiot(procrastination) in the face and told it, ' if dem born you well, come stop me today make i see na,' I said with a mean look on my face as I held my Nokia asha and typed the first update.

If you feel like doing something, just do it, that moment, no go dey waste time o, cos procrastination is a thief of opportunities. I wouldn't had met some cool people here if I stopped midway.

It neva crossed my mind that I'll still be active with this thread, if you know what it takes to come up with an update ehn, you wee dash me your salary .

Sometimes, writers begin a story and abandon it half way, you wee nor understand, don't bash them, it do cross my mind to stop writing atimes, sometimes I feel like, ' Why you dey stress yourself dey write sef, dem dey pay you?.' Thats the question that made many writers abandon their story half way, I guess you don't know.

I could had abandoned this thread a long time ago, but your love and support keeps me going.

Infact ehn, I nor fit shout, na only ona (readers) dey run am, One love o, we dey 2geda..

Ona too much!

This update is dedicated to my lost but found first lady (Ikdbabie) , my personal body guard (daviesblaze), The prodigal daughter (favch), Baddest Tobi, Michaelblake40 and our new comer (kvngfrosh) plus all our old and new readers.

Continuation.

Nor worry bros, na who buy car last dey buy the latest,instead of you to dey think of your champions league match dis nite, na Spider con dey bother you, you well so?' I asked him in attempt to change the topic and divert his attention cos I knew he had a battle ahead, and a foul mood is a no-no, if he must win the match ahead.

One thing about the male cassava is that, it's sync with the mind, and if your mind is disturbed, if you like swallow 10 packs of trams and 2 cartons of viágra, forget it bros, 'ba-na-na' wee nor turn up for you.
(That's not my handwriting o) ..

Otoski wrapped and the other babe held hands while he gave me a coded thumbs and I gave him dat 'e sure for you' winks as we smiled. We stood there gusting for some time before we got bike home.

It was when I got to my lodge late that night that I knew it was my personal 'no misbehave outside' rule crested inside me that had kept me alright all those while.

The road to my lodge was kinda long and like I said earlier, my lodge is in a risky setting, walking through the lonely road alone with my phone in my pocket, was a miracle on its own.
(You wee nor understand, ask Meekest)

I dialled my brother's number so that he could take key from our caretaker, Happy, since his room was next to ours, but his number didn't go through, I went to our bathroom window and called him but I got no reply, meaning he wasn't around.

I knew the rule of the lodge, jumping the fence wasn't even an option cos the wall was high and secured with barbed wire, but in the spirit of ogoro (frog) must jump, I located Happy's bathroom window and I could hear Pasuma Osupa's song playing from his room, the smell of weed that followed almost knocked me out, that guy is a 'Weed star'.

He takes any given opportunity to tell anyone that he grew up in Lagos and was a big boy before OPC boys saga that claimed lives and property affected him and he had to fall back to his roots (Oghara).

'Keto, abeg come open gate for me,' I said and he paused the music to listen attentively, to figure out the voice I guess.

'Na who?,' came his reply.

' oga Happy na ur boy o'

'I nor know you, dey go back to where you dey come from, I no dey open the gate again dis night' he said as he opened his door.

I smiled atleast, small hope dey as be come outside, 'see time na 2'am, wetin you dey do for outside since?'he asked as he approached the gate.

'I dey play football,' I said but my mouth failed to voice it out for reasons best known to it as i held the fence for support resisting the urge to throw up.

' Today is Friday oga, are you okay? Na me tell you say make you nor go club? What is your problem, you don dey mad abi,' I wanted to reply him but I knew that was a sure ticket to sleep outside, dem nor dey price am.

'Oga Happy, abeg com take your action bitters first before I explain, if I tell you wetin sup for Legit ehn....'

' wetin happen for Legit? He asked as he grumbled about my lateness and unlocked the padlock to take his trophy (Action Bitters) from me.Bitters I mentioned and I smiled.

' Nor dey do like say you wan hear the story, I know say na the action bitter dey your mind, abeg open gate make I enter jare,';I thought as the opened and I handed him his trophy and he smiled as he collected it and closed the gate

' wetin you say happen for Legit?' He asked as he opened the gin and stood in his close to his door waiting for me to give him the gist of an event that didn't occur, while I searched my pockets for my key.

'Oga Happy abeg go sleep, you too like aproko sef' I replied him as he laughed and entered his room to continue his business while i searched my pockets 10x per seconds but couldn't find my key and felt even more sad cos i felt i had lost my key.

I resigned to sleep in my varenda since that was my only option and I consoled myself with the fact that sleeping on my varenda was okay, atleast it was safer sleeping inside the compoud than outside.

I cleaned the tiles in my varenda with a rag and lied my back hoping for sleep to come and take me away.

In Oghara then, you barely see mosquitos, you could sleep outside without hearing the annoying sound made by that useless insect called mosquito, that carries malaria fever around.

I felt uncomfortable, I stood up and checked my pocketime for the 50th time and found the key inside the same pocket I had been searching for the past minutes, (who say shayo nor be bastard?)

I opened the door, and located the kitchen, if you see the way I tey rush the garri container ehn, you go fear, I packed some quantity into a bowl and added water without salt, I drank the tasteless garri with the speed of light and dived the bed straight.

It was Azo's call that woke me up the next morning and upon opening my eyes, it was likr i was in a plane that lost its bearing, the room was rotating as I held the bed to prevent me from falling off the imaginary plane.


To be continued.

topedoski:
See the way d bot dey explain itself like say na lawyer e be

the matter tire me two o

Two update enter bot Garri Just like that

Chaii! Which kind short update be this na . It's nt fair o

This update is dedicated to first lady (ikdbabie)

Continuation.

' Efesky! Efesky my realest Gee, Oma, I must flex you today, ready we go Enta Amena Resort go swim later' his voice sounded excitedly from the other side while i held the wing of the plane with one hand so I won't fall off before the phone dropped from my hand and fell in the bed.

'Hello, hello, Efe you dey hear me??' I heard his voice buy couldn't reply cos my head ached and my eyes con join dey turn me.
(Wicked combination if you ask me)

I later fell asleep again and woke up feeling better as I rushed to the kitchen to prepare a very 'born again' oil rice and ate, breaking my routine order in the process which was;
Wake up-->push up--> tidy the house-->prepare breakfast-->take my bath before eating.

I had to break routine cos recovering from hangover was involved, some rules are meant to be broken in some situations abi?

After I finished eating directly from the pot(direct entry), na from there I con feel alright before I clean the house and discharge enta bathroom to fresh up.

I was enjoying the feeling I got under the shower when I heard a knock on my door, I didn't answer, and the person knocked again.

'Yess?, I dey bathroom o,' I replied almost shouting.

' so you even dey house sef, i dey call your number since e nor dey go, we wan go back before so, oshare oya fly come open the door fast' Azo commanded while he banged the door while I laughed wondering who the other person or persons could be.

'Bros, I nor dey house, make ona dey back,' I replied him while I increased my body washing speed.

Wore a short and tied a towel round my waist before I went to open the door for my gee.
' you be Ice fish o,' Meekest fired at me immediately he saw me.

'I blame you? As you nor get senior-man picture for your house so, why you nor go talk to me anyhow dis morning, yeye dey smell, abege shift make I see better people joor ' i replied while I ran back inside to dodge his blow.

'Why you con lock yourself for inside like prisoner na?,' Azo asked as he lied on the bed.

I didn't had the strength to tell explain to him that I lock myself indoors whenever I'm around cos I don't want to mingle with my lodge mates unecessarily and I love my space, I don't joke with my 'me time', thats the introverted side of being an ambivert, I guess. Lol

I gisted them about my key and imaginary plane encounter I had and they laughed at me ehn, dat kine laugh wen dem go sit down ground dey laugh you, chai, I felt like who con send me make I expose myself na.

' your blood nor strong na,' Meekest remarked while they continued with their hysteric laughter. (I nor go lie,dat word weak me) lol.

While offered myself to be their source of laugher, Azo's phone rang, and from the way he was smiling sheepishly, I guessed he was talking to a girl.

' see dis kolo, see as woman dey make you sun-teeth like goat wey dem roast!' I took my chance for pay back and it this time, it was Meekest and I that laughed while the table turned to Azo.

' no mind am, see him face like kiwi polish,' Meekest added and I fell on the bed like a dead man cos the comparison was very very wicked! Infact ehn, the comparison wicked pass 'Young John' the wicked producer

Anytime I'm with my squad or anyone I like, there's never a dull moment, the way we yabbed ourselves ehn, who don't know us may think we are enemies..

We laughed at Azo ehn till he couldn't take it no more and announced that Bee was the one that called him that they were waiting for us, so we could head for Amena Resort together.

' ehn no worry, I dey come make I wear something light make we dey march, with your head like cabin biscuit,' I replied him while I walked towards my waldrope.

We got outside, and hired a cab that took us there, when we got there, my brother joined us later. If I tell you wetin happen to me dat day ehn...


To be continued.

Nice story. More ink to ur pen �

Mood.. Tgif

[quote author=WHIZKIDEFE post=73177502]110k plus Views.. Jesu! See love! I can't fit shout!
Somebody pour me water before over happiness finish me.

Don Meneski where you dey? Ikdbabie and favch, can't you see what I'm seeing?

This story been start like play-play, but now, see where we've gotten to, I can proudly beat my chest and sing that Drake's sonng, ' started from the bottom, now we here '.


awnn,
congrats it's a celebration sumtin
pls whr is d champagne