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Nigeria Women Have Been Bullied To Stay Silent And Reduce Their Standards - Romance - Nairaland

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Nigeria Women Have Been Bullied To Stay Silent And Reduce Their Standards by BMaretraitors(f): 6:15pm On Dec 11, 2018
Nigerian women we have been bullied for a long time to hush up about so many things that are important to us.

Nigerian women i know we are women and i know how very humiliating it is to admit we have been forced to accept and change so many things about ourselves. Yes, we have been bullied for a long long time that we are scared of contradicting our bullies most of the time.
We have to get on code real fast, and i'm here for it.

We have been bullied for our looks by many Nigerian men and sadly women. We are so afraid of appearing too different from the mainstream beauty that we have done so much harm to our precious skin, and hair. We are called ''local'' ''mgbeke'' for daring to be us. Many of us have silently gone on to transform ourselves to please them and ourselves who have internalised what they said. We always stand on the side of the ''mainstream beauties'' in order not to appear hateful or jealous. It is almost unbelievable for any woman to say she loves her skin today!
We have been bullied not to openly crave for handsome guys too! We are supposed to keep it low, very low.
We have been bullied for not carrying out domestic duties to the fullest. We are supposed to appear 'wifeable' every munite and day.

Now we are bullied for setting standards for ourselves. We are expected to give every man that crosses our part the benefit of doubt. We are told not to seek for wealthy mates because the average guy isn't wealthy, we are expected to be sympathetic when setting our standards. Since when? since when are women supposed to set themselves up for a struggle relationship because men are not able to meet up. Nigerian women we have changed ourselves, we have peeled our skin with creams, snaptchat filters, contoured our faces, hidden our hair carefully, some of us are even on diet trying to get that perfect shape, now there is surgery. We have done a lot to please this society: employers, boyfriends, girlfriends, folks...WHY CAN'T THEY DO ANYTHING FOR US WITHOUT GRUMBLING.

We are losing our voices, we can't openly desire a well to do man because that would be synonymous to poking our bleached fingers into the eyes of the men that have infiltrated this forum. I see women that brag about earning their own money, which is great, but being independent-minded? i say lady, please, that's the perfect magnet for lazy never do wells, because in this age and time they would shamelessly leach you dry.

Everyone has that material thing they want to see in their partner, be it beauty, physical endowments, Finance, carriage et al. Men are allowed to salivate over theirs all day, why can't we. Or have they won again!

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Re: Nigeria Women Have Been Bullied To Stay Silent And Reduce Their Standards by Nobody: 6:47pm On Dec 11, 2018
i still don't get why all the experiences women go through be it good or bad. You blame it one men.

No one is restricting you choice, nobody gathered somewhere to analyse, evaluate and put a seal on these things. They are all unconscious social construct and personal opinions people make for themselves.

E.g. A man says he wants a virgin, u women start to cry river that is double standards, as there is no no way to know if a man is a virgin. Who cares? its his opinion. because he isnt a virgin does not mean he cant desire a virgin.
While you go about giving yourself you high standards like men do, be ready to face the consequences because at the end of the day there's no textbook approach to life. men too face the consequences we dont just cry out like you ladies do
for example, If you want to sleep around like men do because men cant have it all and its double standards, bla bla bla.... u need to remember that nature was biased from the beginning by making sure only the female gender can give birth, can have wide vagina, can have saggy boobs, can have menopause, can die from abortion, can have damaged womb.... and at the same time, ive seen women live a slut life and still have a good life afterwards, like i said life cant be lived with textbook approach.
set you standards, live life, face the consequences, dont blame men, dont blame social construct, dont look for how the rules should be bent in your favour.....becos really, there are no rules, just individual preferences and opinions...YOLO

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Re: Nigeria Women Have Been Bullied To Stay Silent And Reduce Their Standards by BMaretraitors(f): 7:54pm On Dec 11, 2018
1StopRudeness:
i still don't get why all the experiences women go through be it good or bad. You blame it one men.

No one is restricting you choice, nobody gathered somewhere to analyse, evaluate and put a seal on these things. They are all unconscious social construct and personal opinions people make for themselves.

E.g. A man says he wants a virgin, u women start to cry river that is double standards, as there is no no way to know if a man is a virgin. Who cares? its his opinion. because he isnt a virgin does not mean he cant desire a virgin.
While you go about giving yourself you high standards like men do, be ready to face the consequences because at the end of the day there's no textbook approach to life. men too face the consequences we dont just cry out like you ladies do
for example, If you want to sleep around like men do because men cant have it all and its double standards, bla bla bla.... u need to remember that nature was biased from the beginning by making sure only the female gender can give birth, can have wide vagina, can have saggy boobs, can have menopause, can die from abortion, can have damaged womb.... and at the same time, ive seen women live a slut life and still have a good life afterwards, like i said life cant be lived with textbook approach.
set you standards, live life, face the consequences, dont blame men, dont blame social construct, dont look for how the rules should be bent in your favour.....becos really, there are no rules, just individual preferences and opinions...YOLO
Yes, we are all expected to experience life and take responsibilities. And that is all i've said. Let Nigerian women voice out their preferences like everybody else.

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Re: Nigeria Women Have Been Bullied To Stay Silent And Reduce Their Standards by MissRaine69(f): 8:26pm On Dec 11, 2018
Who rises women to be submissive and accept some of these behaviours that strip us of our individuality? Who cultivates the mentality of dependency? Always insists that as a woman marrying a rich man at any cost is the ultimate prize?
Other women ...mothers, aunts, grandmothers blame the state of the Nigerian women on Nigerian women.

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Re: Nigeria Women Have Been Bullied To Stay Silent And Reduce Their Standards by smokers: 8:52pm On Dec 11, 2018
MissRaine69:
Who rises women to be submissive and accept some of these behaviours that strip us of our individuality? Who cultivates the mentality of dependency? Always insists that as a woman marrying a rich man at any cost is the ultimate prize?
Other women ...mothers, aunts, grandmothers blame the state of the Nigerian women on Nigerian women.

That's what women do in Nigeria and you've proven it. they blame everyone for their misfortune. the guy, the society the government. heck I'm not against equal rights and all others but it should be based on rational decisions not self entitlement
Re: Nigeria Women Have Been Bullied To Stay Silent And Reduce Their Standards by Nobody: 8:55pm On Dec 11, 2018
BMaretraitors:
Yes, we are all expected to experience life and take responsibilities. And that is all i've said. Let Nigerian women voice out their preferences like everybody else.


but you ddnt fail to blame men for marginalising you in some way or another...
you ddnt fail to use the victim card saying you are being bullied for ur looks and how u dress etc
Re: Nigeria Women Have Been Bullied To Stay Silent And Reduce Their Standards by Jayslicky: 9:01pm On Dec 11, 2018
Abeg help me tell them oh, men are this men are that. This is not USA were women are pampered, this is Nigeria where is the survival of the fittest. Nigerian ladies should learn how to be hardworking and you will see how men will appreciate you. That's my advice if naija women like they can take it or live it, in fact guys will want them not to take it so the slavery of women can continue, that's why you'll see a woman in a violent relationship by can't leave due to no other option.

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Re: Nigeria Women Have Been Bullied To Stay Silent And Reduce Their Standards by MissRaine69(f): 10:22pm On Dec 11, 2018
smokers:


That's what women do in Nigeria and you've proven it. they blame everyone for their misfortune. the guy, the society the government. heck I'm not against equal rights and all others but it should be based on rational decisions not self entitlement
Women create women issues I despair at the blame mentality.

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Re: Nigeria Women Have Been Bullied To Stay Silent And Reduce Their Standards by dederocs(m): 11:04pm On Dec 11, 2018
Do you have an exceptional beauty,brain or skill to attract a rich man? grin
Re: Nigeria Women Have Been Bullied To Stay Silent And Reduce Their Standards by CAPSLOCKED: 11:26pm On Dec 11, 2018
MissRaine69:
Who raises women to be submissive and accept some of these behaviours that strip us of our individuality? Who cultivates the mentality of dependency? Always insists that as a woman marrying a rich man at any cost is the ultimate prize?
Other women ...mothers, aunts, grandmothers blame the state of the Nigerian women on Nigerian women.

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE ABILITY OF UNINTELLIGENT WOMEN TO SIT IN ONE CORNER, MAKING NO POSITIVE EFFORTS, OTHER THAN BLAMING MEN FOR ALL THEIR PROBLEMS.
Re: Nigeria Women Have Been Bullied To Stay Silent And Reduce Their Standards by BMaretraitors(f): 10:52am On Dec 12, 2018
MissRaine69:
Who rises women to be submissive and accept some of these behaviours that strip us of our individuality? Who cultivates the mentality of dependency? Always insists that as a woman marrying a rich man at any cost is the ultimate prize?
Other women ...mothers, aunts, grandmothers blame the state of the Nigerian women on Nigerian women.
Since you didn't bother to read the details of my post, grant me to cherry-pick yours. If Nigerian women have sacrificed so much for Nigerian women and men in extension, why are they silenced and forced to demand less in return! Why can't Nigerian women say they prefer well of men without backlash from men and women!

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Re: Nigeria Women Have Been Bullied To Stay Silent And Reduce Their Standards by BMaretraitors(f): 11:02am On Dec 12, 2018
dederocs:
Do you have an exceptional beauty,brain or skill to attract a rich man? grin
Don't bother about how Nigerian women look or are when they voice out their preference for better men. Nobody questions your financial prowess, I.Q, looks when you exclude many women from your perfect fantasy woman. Questions like these are asked to silence women and get them to lower their demands. It is bullying

1 Like

Re: Nigeria Women Have Been Bullied To Stay Silent And Reduce Their Standards by Randy100: 11:52am On Dec 12, 2018
Feminist, I hail una.
Re: Nigeria Women Have Been Bullied To Stay Silent And Reduce Their Standards by escapefromusa(f): 12:19pm On Dec 12, 2018
BMaretraitors:

We have been bullied for not carrying out domestic duties to the fullest. We are supposed to appear 'wifeable' every munite and day.

Nigerian women we have changed ourselves, we have peeled our skin with creams, snaptchat filters, contoured our faces, hidden our hair carefully, some of us are even on diet trying to get that perfect shape, now there is surgery.

We are losing our voices, we can't openly desire a well to do man because that would be synonymous to poking our bleached fingers into the eyes of the men that have infiltrated this forum.

I see women that brag about earning their own money, which is great, but being independent-minded? i say lady, please, that's the perfect magnet for lazy never do wells, because in this age and time they would shamelessly leach you dry.

Everyone has that material thing they want to see in their partner, be it beauty, physical endowments, Finance, carriage et al. Men are allowed to salivate over theirs all day, why can't we. Or have they won again!

Well thought out thesis. Far better than the racist rant you published, the last time

You need to work on your grammar and spelling.
If you can spare a moment, take a look at grammarly.
Re: Nigeria Women Have Been Bullied To Stay Silent And Reduce Their Standards by MissRaine69(f): 2:31pm On Dec 12, 2018
BMaretraitors:
Since you didn't bother to read the details of my post, grant me to cherry-pick yours. If Nigerian women have sacrificed so much for Nigerian women and men in extension, why are they silenced and forced to demand less in return! Why can't Nigerian women say they prefer well of men without backlash from men and women!
There is nothing stopping well off Nigerian women from preferring to date and marry well off men that what should happen why anchor yourself with someone going nowhere fast? What’s stopping the not so well off women from getting their shit together and living independent lives instead of waiting for someone to finance their lives and livestyles with no meaningful contribution?
We need to stop apportioning blame and look at the mindsets that are currently prevailing these mindsets that are like an infected wound that is resistent to antibiotics.Look at the attitude of women when they encounter another woman who has got where she has through sheer hardwork.
You can’t keep blaming men when the main caregivers are women. Who is around the formative years when children are growing? Fathers or mothers?
It takes very openminded and astute parents to rise their children male and female to be their own people.
We can disagree on this I am ok with that.

1 Like

Re: Nigeria Women Have Been Bullied To Stay Silent And Reduce Their Standards by BMaretraitors(f): 5:43pm On Nov 27, 2019
So many lazy men today, keep your standards as high as ever ladies!

1 Like

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