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Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by Lihyunpark(m): 4:07pm On Jan 01, 2019
mainanalyst:
How Do I Convince My Wife?


Hi everyone, I will try not to make this post a lengthy one.

I was born into a Muslim family and raised as a muslim. My wife met me as a practicing Muslim way back 2005 when we were both undergraduate in one of Nigeria's federal Universities. Recently, i started losing interest in religion, started seeing it as a source of division among humans ( like Muslims attacking Christians and vice versa). The idea of people burning in hell and some people enjoying in paradise makes no sense to me if God is really loving as claimed by theists.

But my wife is not comfortable with my religious views, infact she has started seeing me as hellbound ( don't blame her though, a true Muslim hardly marry from other religions talkless of marrying a freethinker like me ). I can see that the love she has for me is gradually reducing simply because I chose not to hold any religious views. I have no problem with her religious views, sometimes when she is far asleep, I will wake her up in the morning to observe her solat.

How do I make her understand that I can be a good husband to her without having any religious beliefs ?
The only thing she reads about are stuffs pertaining to Islam, she hardly read about science or other non religious topics. She is one of the people who believes that no human can be morally upright without having the fear of God or subscribe to religious ideas.


Just of recent, I thought of leaving Nigeria to any western country so as to be able to live my life peacefully without anyone questioning my religious views or tag me as an infidel. But I can't just leave everything behind just because my woman is not comfortable with my religious views and has been quarrelling with me on it.

How do I make her live with me peacefully without her feeling uncomfortable? Has anyone experienced this before ? How did you manage the situation ?

You might be a practicing muslim but still doesnt understand Islam. Nobody who truely understand what Islam truely means and teaches leaves... It's too beautiful.

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by Preator: 4:08pm On Jan 01, 2019
diadem10:


Exactly. I was reading the the part which says let there be Light and something clicked in me.

Science already made us realise the world is made up of just two things namely: matter and light which support the Bible's theory of creation because the bible made us realise the earth was truly made of light and matter. Even human being is made up of these two things 'cos the soul was illuminated by God through his breath. No wonder the bible says whoever doesn't have the light in him, he's dead.

I also learned of one thing which is God is light hence everything that's dead (without light) would always be far away from him and sink below by the rule of creation hence why there is hell, it's not like God created hell per se, it just happened due to God's nature.
Light and matter ke?
Where did you learn that?
The world is simply made up of matter and energy. But Einsteinian physics have proved that matter and energy are actually the same so our cosmos may be said to be made up of matter.
Light is emmited by some bodies as a consequence of reactions eg nuclear reactions in stars, electrical excitations in your bulbs or even biological as seen in fireflies. Light is not matter. Your body do not emit light but reflect it. That is why you can not be seen in the dark. You must reflect light from another source before other eyes can perceive you.
By the way, there have been light for over 15 billion years. That's when the first nuclear reactions started on the early suns
Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by Lihyunpark(m): 4:13pm On Jan 01, 2019
sexybaby22:


Oh really,

Its Islam that has no contradictions, with your forced child marriage, terrorism, encouragement of slavery and illiteracy and backwardness and that will provide him clarity?

You must be a potential terrorist yourself.


another person who prefers to listen to the media and read from the bigotted website who enjoys tarnishing Islam rather than making rational research about the religion
Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by diadem10: 4:14pm On Jan 01, 2019
Preator:

Light and matter ke?
Where did you learn that?
The world is simply made up of matter and energy. But Einsteinian physics have proved that matter and energy are actually the same so our cosmos may be said to be made up of matter.
Light is emmited by some bodies as a consequence of reactions eg nuclear reactions in stars, electrical excitations in your bulbs or even biological as seen in fireflies. Light is not matter. Your body do not emit light but reflect it. That is why you can not be seen in the dark. You must reflect light from another source before other eyes can perceive you.
By the way, there have been light for over 15 billion years. That's when the first nuclear reactions started on the early suns
Who said Light was matter? I never made mention of such.

I said the earth is made of two things which is matter and Light.
Light is an energy bro.
Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by tobidipity(m): 4:16pm On Jan 01, 2019
Les:
Any kids? Just checking out stuff that could tie you down in case you wanna leave.

Yes you might consider leaving for the sake of your life and sanity.

BTW, have you tried knowing Jesus personally?

Even Jesus wouldn't advice him to leave the marriage
Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by mainanalyst: 4:21pm On Jan 01, 2019
Lihyunpark:


You might be a practicing muslim but still doesnt understand Islam. Nobody who truely understand what Islam truely means and teaches leaves... It's too beautiful.

So beautiful that it sees nothing wrong in owing slaves ... smh
Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by Talkingboy: 4:29pm On Jan 01, 2019
mainanalyst:

Yes, there are kids.
Try to know Jesus ? By reading the book of talking snakes ? Truth is , if most of you take your time to read the contradictions in the holy books of Abrahamic religions (Islam, Christian, Judaism) , you will get to realise that they are just fairy tales.
That's why most developed countries have removed religious subjects from their curriculum and change it with subjects on morality.

Oga , Which contradiction is in the Quran Sir ? Have you seen another version of the Quran ?


Be rightly guided Sir.

Somebody created you and you shall return to him one day .

Have you asked yourself this question : "What is the essence of Life?" You think we just exist to buy Rolls Royce and chop life and that's all ?

The life of this world is a testing ground ; There is hell and paradise .

... And the promise of Allah is true .

Once you write a university course and you fail it, there's still chance for it to be rewritten... But once death approaches , no coming back , no second chance!!!! Think about it.

May Allah guide you to the right path.



Cc Time2smile
Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by Nobody: 4:32pm On Jan 01, 2019
Lihyunpark:



another person who prefers to listen to the media and read from the bigotted website who enjoys tarnishing Islam rather than making rational research about the religion

If you've ever lived in a place where you are at risk of Islamic bombings, where you queue to enter church cuz everyone has to be searched with the risk of being bombed while on the queue, maybe you'll start thinking like me.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by prettyboi1(m): 4:33pm On Jan 01, 2019
I agree with the thoughts of the OP. Religion is just so confusing & it is full of division. All the religions in the world believe their religion is the one true religion & that you shouldn't associate with people from the other religions. Then, I ask : "Where is the love? " Is that what your God (or God of your religion) teaches you?

Let's be clear here, I believe in God, I do believe very much in God but I've started to question so many things about religion as a whole....there are too many contradictions in religion. In fact, I don't believe in religion.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by ashjay001(m): 4:34pm On Jan 01, 2019
Friend01:



Labelling is one bad thing people who are slaves to their whims do.

She is now a fanatic for reprimanding her husband?

What would we not see?

Well, I don't expect you to understand.


The earth, has been around for millions of years.

Humans have been around for over 10000(ten thousand) years.

Christianity and Islam, have been around for just about 2000(two thousand) years, yet them no go allow person hear wordsad


Do u understand?
Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by Nobody: 4:34pm On Jan 01, 2019
Time2Smile:

And what has the bold got to do with anything. Didn't you read where he said they are Muslims.? If he is struggling with accepting God existence despite his Islamic background, is it Christianity with its many contradictions, lack of genuine spirituality and excessive focus on worldly material wealth that will provide him clarity?
No mind dem.. Bringing their "my religion is better" mentality into talks like this..
Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by Abdulhakeem78(m): 4:34pm On Jan 01, 2019
charliboy654:

All this imam can like argument, una nor get another work?
Person nor wan do again live him be.
No need for ur argument.
Okay sir!!!
Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by Kingbones(m): 4:35pm On Jan 01, 2019
TarOrfeek:


Increase the size of your preek..


The rest will follow.
Try get sense na....na 2019 we dey

Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by mainanalyst: 4:42pm On Jan 01, 2019
Talkingboy:


Oga , Which contradiction is in the Quran Sir ? Have you seen another version of the Quran ?


Be rightly guided Sir.

Somebody created you and you shall return to him one day .

Have you asked yourself this question : "What is the essence of Life?" You think we just exist to buy Rolls Royce and chop life and that's all ?

The life of this world is a testing ground ; There is hell and paradise .

... And the promise of Allah is true .

Once you write a university course and you fail it, there's still chance for it to be rewritten... But once death approaches , no coming back , no second chance!!!! Think about it.

May Allah guide you to the right path.



Cc Time2smile
if a religion is telling me not to make friends with an unbeliever, such religion to me can be seen as a cult .

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by Kzea: 4:52pm On Jan 01, 2019
You need to understand that you guys are 2 different entities from the initial stage.
she might have been raised with those believes, so to Change it will take a lot of patience.
Another thing is that during courtship, you might have been a deep religious entity and she might be tripping for you based on that. (I'm just saying)
Sometimes when you fall in love for a reason,
Once that reason is not there, the love will just fade.
Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by Oluhills007: 4:53pm On Jan 01, 2019
Time2Smile:

You are so rude and uncouth. The fact that Nairaland is a faceless forum doesn't give you liberty to address people without manners. Stay off my mention because I never quoted you.
This is the only time I will reply you. I have too much dignity to roll in the mud with you.

Alaye go sit down... You be terrorist.... You are a fundamentalist and a threat to the peace of Nigeria.. Through your beliefs

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by Olatara(f): 4:55pm On Jan 01, 2019
jesmond3945:
Op you are very much normal and i have also advised prople to always ask questions about what they know and be convinced beyond doubt that what they know or believe has passed the minimum treshold of truth. Thats what makes you discover and invent things. The world is not perfect and if the world is not perfect, why not ask questions and discover those imperfections so as to remove them and make the world perfect. If the world was perfect then God does not exist because the imperfection of the world determines his existence. Now I am a Christian, I asked a christian priest why do you think christianity is the true religion while islam is not. He said with mere words that christianity is true while other religions are false. The same answer would be given by an imam. So now it creates more confusion because the state of your conviction has not been satisfied. I would advise you leave religion and desire to know the true God with all your heart. Seek Him and you shall find Him. Tell Him you want to be convinced beyond doubt of His love and existence. Aside that I love your quest for the truth, it shows you have advanced beyond primordial things. I have a lot to say.
Wow! Op listen to this guy.
Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by Friend01(m): 4:56pm On Jan 01, 2019
AreaFada2:

The religious people who contributed to science lived in fairly tolerant societies or times. You will be surprised to know that several medieval Muslim societies were very tolerant of both Jews and Christians. Even later in Southern Spain, Muslim civilisation there was top notch in science, maths and learning generally.

Which you choose to have priority is your choice. Not to be forced on anyone or forced by anyone else on you.
But modern intolerance is still alarming considering what we now know from history of the dangers of intolerance
On Nairaland here I watch with dismay how atheists are lambasted and judged almost like the devil.

Attitude of many "religious" people on NL would not encourage atheists to consider becoming religious.
They demonstrate no nobility that their religions teach them to show.

I have lived the bigger part of my life in societies where your religious views are your private matter and nobody does his religious sanctimony "in your face".
And these societies function far better, more hRmonious and more cohesive than the over religious Nigeria society. Even after discounting for various cultures, religions and views that about on both sides.


But the way you were sounding it was as if religion is ,was and still is the problem.
Religion does not and has not in anyway stifled development.

As for the atheist(s), they need to be helped even though their intellectual capabilities delude them to think that the life of this world is all there is and will be is when there is indeed more to it than meets the eye.

I totally agree with you that we do not force people to accept our beliefs or coerce them by threat to life to follow our views. We can only preach and tolerate certain aspects of life, but when it goes beyond the bounds we will call them out.

Religion for the better part of my knowledge is the only means that can truly preserve humanity from any impending doom that humanity creates for itself.
In all, we should not throw religion under the bus because we want to conform to certain ethics and norms that runs contrary to well known religious standard this is what I am calling to.

We should learn to separate religious uprightness and moral debasement in the name of civilisation.
Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by Friend01(m): 4:58pm On Jan 01, 2019
stixz:

Right many Muslims are pioneers of many science concepts but people never talk about them. Ar Razi- Modern doctors can't even do without his books on medicine, Sahl al-Balkhi, Ali ibn Sahl Rabban al-Tabari. These guys are all pioneers in various fields. Yet some people will open their mouth and say Islam encourages illiteracy. Use your Google well and read wide please, it's necessary.

Wallāhi.
People have information at their finger tips yet they choose to be ignorant.
Do you blame them when most people just wait for people to think for them before they act.
Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by Friend01(m): 5:06pm On Jan 01, 2019
sexybaby22:


If you've ever lived in a place where you are at risk of Islamic bombings, where you queue to enter church cuz everyone has to be searched with the risk of being bombed while on the queue, maybe you'll start thinking like me.

I know when somebody is talking from experience and when they are parroting other people's view just to sound up-to-date.
We know, and you know you have not experienced such you are just throwing in everything to make. Islām look pervasive to whoever cares to consider it.


And if you want us to play this gutter game of pulling out all the atrocities each deviated followers of Islām and Christianity has done be my guest.
But I assure you one thing, you will leave with your tail in between your legs.
Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by Nobody: 5:20pm On Jan 01, 2019
Friend01:


I know when somebody is talking from experience and when they are parroting other people's view just to sound up-to-date.
We know, and you know you have not experienced such you are just throwing in everything to make. Islām look pervasive to whoever cares to consider it.


And if you want us to play this gutter game of pulling out all the atrocities each deviated followers of Islām and Christianity has done be my guest.
But I assure you one thing, you will leave with your tail in between your legs.

Really, what makes you think I never lived in the north. Would I have done NYSC in the same south west I schooled?

Continue attacking me for telling the truth, instead of attacking the extremist in your religion.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by halimzytohfresh(m): 5:23pm On Jan 01, 2019
mainanalyst:


Lol, I didn't listen to any negative talks about Islam
If you know my level of Faith before, you will know that no amount of negative talks about Islam can changed me.I just stopped losing interest in religions generally due to the division it has created among humans.
Secondly, not everyone has the faith to believe that Allah created the universe but no one created Allah. It's like something came out of nothing.
Additionally,I have asked many Islamic scholars some mind boggling questions and none of them have been able to provide convincing answers. I am not the type of dude that does something just because billions of humans on earth are doing it. In addition, if you truly understand science and see the beauty of science, you will get to know that religions generally are not sufficient enough to provide answers on human creation.

maybe you have not ask the right people..
and also , you haven't read the right books...
trust me , following science will get u out of humanly thinkings...
search for sheikh Muhammad awal of zaitun dawah institute... believe me .. happiness will be urs again
Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by Teegelop(f): 5:27pm On Jan 01, 2019
Time2Smile:

And what has the bold got to do with anything. Didn't you read where he said they are Muslims.? If he is struggling with accepting God existence despite his Islamic background, is it Christianity with[b] its many contradictions, lack of genuine spirituality and excessive focus on worldly material wealth[/b] that will provide him clarity?

Chai! See the way you defined Christianity
Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by AlPeter: 5:31pm On Jan 01, 2019
mainanalyst:


Lol, I didn't listen to any negative talks about Islam
If you know my level of Faith before, you will know that no amount of negative talks about Islam can changed me.I just stopped losing interest in religions generally due to the division it has created among humans.
Secondly, not everyone has the faith to believe that Allah created the universe but no one created Allah. It's like something came out of nothing.
Additionally,I have asked many Islamic scholars some mind boggling questions and none of them have been able to provide convincing answers. I am not the type of dude that does something just because billions of humans on earth are doing it. In addition, if you truly understand science and see the beauty of science, you will get to know that religions generally are not sufficient enough to provide answers on human creation.

This here is your problem. You've put yourself in a box. Let me ask you a question, What do you understand by the concepts of time and space?
Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by sulasa07(m): 5:39pm On Jan 01, 2019
Time2Smile:

And what has the bold got to do with anything. Didn't you read where he said they are Muslims.? If he is struggling with accepting God existence despite his Islamic background, is it Christianity with its many contradictions, lack of genuine spirituality and excessive focus on worldly material wealth that will provide him clarity?
Chai!This is choke-Slamming on Christianity
Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by AlPeter: 5:44pm On Jan 01, 2019
prettyboi1:
I agree with the thoughts of the OP. Religion is just so confusing & it is full of division. All the religions in the world believe their religion is the one true religion & that you shouldn't associate with people from the other religions. Then, I ask : "Where is the love? " Is that what your God (or God of your religion) teaches you?

Let's be clear here, I believe in God, I do believe very much in God but I've started to question so many things about religion as a whole....there are too many contradictions in religion. In fact, I don't believe in religion.
I don't believe in religion either though I believe In God. I have come to realize religion is man's effort to reach God.
I am a Christian not because I go to church but because I pattern my life towards being more like Christ.
The problem many have with Christianity is looking at folks that practice the religion rather than live the life.
I am not a Christian because I go to church but because of my choices.
Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by Lehksyen4life(m): 5:45pm On Jan 01, 2019
mainanalyst:


So beautiful that it sees nothing wrong in owing slaves ... smh


Owing slaves was during the earliest day of Islam. Have you heard of somebody owing slaves nowadays?

May Allah guides you right and change your heart before you return back to him because by then, it would have been too late.
Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by Moshlaw(m): 5:47pm On Jan 01, 2019
mainanalyst:
How Do I Convince My Wife?


Hi everyone, I will try not to make this post a lengthy one.

I was born into a Muslim family and raised as a muslim. My wife met me as a practicing Muslim way back 2005 when we were both undergraduate in one of Nigeria's federal Universities. Recently, i started losing interest in religion, started seeing it as a source of division among humans ( like Muslims attacking Christians and vice versa). The idea of people burning in hell and some people enjoying in paradise makes no sense to me if God is really loving as claimed by theists.

But my wife is not comfortable with my religious views, infact she has started seeing me as hellbound ( don't blame her though, a true Muslim hardly marry from other religions talkless of marrying a freethinker like me ). I can see that the love she has for me is gradually reducing simply because I chose not to hold any religious views. I have no problem with her religious views, sometimes when she is far asleep, I will wake her up in the morning to observe her solat.

How do I make her understand that I can be a good husband to her without having any religious beliefs ?
The only thing she reads about are stuffs pertaining to Islam, she hardly read about science or other non religious topics. She is one of the people who believes that no human can be morally upright without having the fear of God or subscribe to religious ideas.


Just of recent, I thought of leaving Nigeria to any western country so as to be able to live my life peacefully without anyone questioning my religious views or tag me as an infidel. But I can't just leave everything behind just because my woman is not comfortable with my religious views and has been quarrelling with me on it.

How do I make her live with me peacefully without her feeling uncomfortable? Has anyone experienced this before ? How did you manage the situation ?


hey man. don't allow shaytan in your life. you need to go back to Islam and at the same Time improve on your deen. May Allah be with You and your wife.
Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by OkunrinMeta: 5:52pm On Jan 01, 2019
Preator:

True.
If you do a poll here, you will realize that 90% of those here practice the religion they were born into. Of that 90%, about 75% have never read any other religious text apart from theirs(that's if they even read theirs). They are those that know everything about other religions based on what they read online. What they read online are also written by others based on hearsay and other people's opinion.
I have been privileged to read the religious text of several religions including Christianity, Islam, grail movement, Hinduism, Zoroastrianism among others.

A classic example: go to a newspaper vendor and watch people argue for 15mins. You will see people explain how buhari told osinbajo to tell laid Mohammed to keep lieing to Nigerians. They will tell you it happened behind close doors so that people will not know. They will even explain how they switch of the light etc and you will hear other people attesting to same and even contributing their own details. These are people that have never been in the presence of their LGA chairman yet they know what happens in the privacy of presidents, governors and ministers.
And people will hear that, go home and peddle same as God's own truth.
That is nigeria

If you practice the religion you were born into click like, if you switched, click share


You make a lot of sense bro. Most Nigerians practice the religion they were born into, they are trained not to ask difficult questions of their religious leaders, question doctrines, or think for themselves.

Yet they are ready to fight people who practice a religion that they themselves probably would have been practicing if they were born in thesame family.
A logically sound mind would at least want to find facts before condemning but no.

Why are the most unsafe and underdeveloped countries also the most religious?

It is because, while religion might help us find meaning for life, there is a big tendency for conflicts with other groups due to lack of tolerance and blind followership that is evident everywhere on this thread.

Reasonably arguments are easily misconstrued as personal attacks, or an attack on some religious group identity. Everyone claiming their own belief system is better when the argument should be how to be better as an individual and for humanity.

I have given up on this country. I think maybe majority of Nigerians just have below average I.q when compared to advanced countries. And thus the average Nigerian can never understand these things. That's my theory which would be proven or disproven with time. It has already been shown that there are significant variations in the average I.Q. for different races.

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Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by Soflex(m): 5:53pm On Jan 01, 2019
Hello mainanalyst,

Welcome to the world of freedom and inner peace. I've gone through similar scenerio as yours, though as "christian", so I think I should have a piece of advice for you.

I will encourage you to show her more love and care. I believe if she truly loves you in the first place, she will come around and love you for who you are now. Religion claim love and freedom, so why should you force it on anyone or hate them for not accepting it.

Secondly, try and get out of naija if you have the opportunity to do so, it will be better if you can take her and the kids along. An opportunity came for me to leave for America (alone) couple of years ago but I made sure I did everything I could to go with my family, and it worked.

Now, she knows I'm a better human being now than when I was a Christian and she loves me more for it. And yea, nobody is bothering my life here on why I don't go to church every Sunday. I only go when the kids make request that I should go with them.

Hope things work out well for you too bro.


mainanalyst:
How Do I Convince My Wife?


Hi everyone, I will try not to make this post a lengthy one.

I was born into a Muslim family and raised as a muslim. My wife met me as a practicing Muslim way back 2005 when we were both undergraduate in one of Nigeria's federal Universities. Recently, i started losing interest in religion, started seeing it as a source of division among humans ( like Muslims attacking Christians and vice versa). The idea of people burning in hell and some people enjoying in paradise makes no sense to me if God is really loving as claimed by theists.

But my wife is not comfortable with my religious views, infact she has started seeing me as hellbound ( don't blame her though, a true Muslim hardly marry from other religions talkless of marrying a freethinker like me ). I can see that the love she has for me is gradually reducing simply because I chose not to hold any religious views. I have no problem with her religious views, sometimes when she is far asleep, I will wake her up in the morning to observe her solat.

How do I make her understand that I can be a good husband to her without having any religious beliefs ?
The only thing she reads about are stuffs pertaining to Islam, she hardly read about science or other non religious topics. She is one of the people who believes that no human can be morally upright without having the fear of God or subscribe to religious ideas.


Just of recent, I thought of leaving Nigeria to any western country so as to be able to live my life peacefully without anyone questioning my religious views or tag me as an infidel. But I can't just leave everything behind just because my woman is not comfortable with my religious views and has been quarrelling with me on it.

How do I make her live with me peacefully without her feeling uncomfortable? Has anyone experienced this before ? How did you manage the situation ?
Re: My Wife Is Not Comfortable With My Religious Views by OkunrinMeta: 5:56pm On Jan 01, 2019
Lehksyen4life:



Owing slaves was during the earliest day of Islam. Have you heard of somebody owing slaves nowadays?

May Allah guides you right and change your heart before you return back to him because by then, it would have been too late.

Were you born a Muslim and would you have thesame opinion if you were born in India, as an hinduist?

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