It's obvious she doesn't respect u as her husband. It's also possible hr ex is bleepng her secretly. You are definately not incharge of ur home. You tolerate too much b**'s**t.

This thread is something else.

I don't understand from this part.

She stabbed me with a knife though the cut wasn't too deep .

she picked up a knife to stab you, I'm not interested in the deepness or not of the cut, but she picked up a knife to stab you, and SHE ACTUALLY STABBED YOU

and yet you still stayed married and even impregnated her, to this point where her dad has to tell you that you should consider your Health and leave her

Why did you stay??

I don't know how to get a divorce fast but I'm glad you're finally leaving.
Please divorce, before we read on FP
Woman is arrested for stabbing her husband to death.

And take your son with you,
She is cannot be trusted with him before she stabs him in a fit of rage.

Did I just hear u say U don't wanna die before ur time? U are dead already if u continue living with that woman. From ur story, it seems u can afford to rent at least, a one-bedroom flat. Go n get another apartment and stay away from her for now. Plzzzzzzzzzzz

lol

"She stabbed me with a knife though the cut wasn't too deep. It took me months to catch up with reality as the lady I was dating was a total different person."


The day any woman attempt this. That is the end of the whole rubbish we call whatever.

I even made it clear, if u destroy my properties, it is over cos i am sure that same spirit go tell u to 'chuck' me knife in my dreams.


Now be a man. Forget divorce nonsense or proceedings.


Get your clothes one after the other and walk away.

Leave the house for her.

Hoodbilonia:
thats why i dont keep relationships
naija women are useless and ungrateful
baba beta run far
take yur pickin run far before she give u aids
till tmrw ma ex i have cursed. threatened. beat up
keeps begging me to come back
u knw what it is for a g boy to give u 100% attention and care for 3years and u take me for a fool. hahaah
bich

Lol... Baba... You don't make me overlaff o....

royalamour:


Thank you for your contribution.

I will proudly say to you that I haven't cheat nor betray her trust in anyway.

She was in charge of my finances until 90,000 disappeared within 4 days unaccounted for.

I have always tried to show examples and even her dad, the elder brother are have asked me to thread carefully.

I am no saint but I tried to be a noble man.

Thank you.

YOU KNOW YOUR FAULT? YOU RE TOO NICE TO A FAULT... THATS YOUR WEAKNESS AND SHE KNOWS

royalamour:
Met in 2014 November.
Dated for 11 months. All these while she was so homely and accommodating.

She would call to let me know about her movements even when I did not ask for.

She would apologize at any slight opportunity.

It was all rosy.

The parents kept calling and advising me not to let other ladies win me over.

They would visit or call my parents at every given opportunity and I felt "this is it".

We got married almost a year later.

The first 2 weeks of the honeymoon was smooth until the 3rd week and bam! there was disagreement about money.

She stabbed me with a knife though the cut wasn't too deep. It took me months to catch up with reality as the lady I was dating was a total different person.

That was the journey of misery and then it was nagging, disrespect and stuffs until I caught her on the phone telling her ex that she misses him and sh1ts.

I was devastated. This lady refused to apologize. She won't even listen to me whenever I asked to have a heart to heart talk with her.

I had to involve her parents and it was by force before she apologized.

She got pregnant and 9 months later she was delivered of our first son.

2 weeks later, my attention was drawn to constant beeping on her phone and when I checked, my supposed wife was discussing with another of her ex about how tight and intact her vagina was cos she gave birth through CS. And the guy used to be jealous cos he enjoyed the sex they had as she was always tight and shits.

I was devastated. I drew her attention to it and she denied feigning ignorance. It was when I showed her screenshots that she accepted and asked me to forget about it, that what has happened has happened.

She would never say sorry. So called her elder brother and he begged me and begged her to apologize, still she won't.

I reported to the mother. This didn't help matters. The aunts numbering about 4 had to beg on her behalf.
I let it slide.

Things got worse and it came to a point where she would not cook. Even times when I return home from long journeys, I most times will have to go into the kitchen to sort myself.

Mum got sick and I asked that she come to us so that we can go to bigger hospital for proper check up and hell was let loose.

She stopped cooking and would only cook whenever she desires.

Time past and my life became almost miserable.

I would close from the office and won't be able to go home. I would stroll into a beer parlour and while away time till maybe 10pm and would sneak out very early even before she wakes up.

Earlier in 2016, I had empowered her with 1.2 million to start a business and one dime I didn't see as return on investment with her citing low patronage as the reason for the collapse of the business.

It was until the elder brother who was staying with us asked her for money and she refused that the dude disclosed that she made about 2.6 million from sales of items and services she rendered in the shop she denied making nothing from. She could not deny this fact but for my son I let it slide.

My wife would bring her female friend into the home and this lady even when she was engaged to a guy still go out to sleep with other guys.
I asked her to stop been friends with her and she blatantly refused. She would go ahead to invite the lady into my home and rain insults on me because I don't want them together.

This final one was the calls she was making with her ex most times when I was away in the office.
I noticed and she couldn't deny it. I later learnt that her cheat of a friend was the middle person that delivers messages to my wife whenever I was around.

I can't take it anymore.

I don't wanna die before my time.

I can't eat in my house anymore as she threatened to poison me and nothing will happen. This was let out in a heat of a moment while we were exchanging words.

What's the express way to divorce without complications?

NB: The dad has asked me to quit before I start to develop HBP.

You are from another planet, I swear. I have been married for 6 year and I can't take 5% of what you just narrated above. I had some disagreement that bothered on her constant nagging and bickering with my wife last month and I left home for 4 days. It took both families, friends and even my boss to make me go back to my house. I don't like violence; domestic or otherwise, so i had to bail out of the house when it was obvious that the real intent of my wife that day was to provoke to the point of beating her. I just took a few things and jumped into my car and left.

What i will suggest is that you find a place to stay and go to work while the impasse rages. I do not know how old your child is but make sure your plan includes your child/children.

Vcent50:
Hmm, please used your wisdom,do not say anything when there is argument,and don't tell her you want to divorce,cus the damage may be out of control.
So there is a adage that says that the name you will give lto a child inside you it is.. stay safe

(Thanks for this beautiful advise)

Op. Please apply wisdom to tackle the situation. Marital unfaithfulness from wife is a serious issue and could claim your life if care is not taking. If you are a strong believer, go and pray seriously about the way forward and seek the intervention of genuine brethren and minister of God that can genuinely assist you in prayer.
Avoid confrontation as much as possible. Meticulously map out how to separate from her on the ground of marital unfaithfulness and ensure you legalise it. Prepare to change your location after divorce and make solid plan for your baby.
I don't support divorce, but when there is marital unfaithfulness and life is under threat, you are free to take a step to prevent the unthinkable.

Nice, go ahead bro

Nice guys suffer this shìt a lot. I see why folks go hard on ladies

Cigo1:
Lol.
Beat her. Beat her so bad that it'll look like a train hit her.
If she still does not pack her load and flee.
Give her the Oscar Pistorius treatment. Don't grant her any divorce, it'll be a stain on you.

He can't beat her. His wife looks thick while he might be average in height.
From his expression, he looks like a weakling.
How dare my wife bring a third party woman to my home.
May God help us sha.

Tþ

First line of action: excape -run 4 ur life. Make sure you do it better than Usain Bolt.

If money dey,leave everything for her...... the one way man hustle for they finish,Na the one dem dash you with force go last ?

Lawyers go dey him house dey gbadun with him wife,when dem go come dey call ambulance for your enemy...... again run pass usain bolt.

Your life Na the paramount tin here oh.

Hmmmmmm

Doesn't sound real to me, haba!!!

royalamour:
Please don't mind the typos and other errors.

After the marriage, apart from all the texts do you have evidence that she's been with another man?

demelza:
To hook a Nigerian man is very easy.

Simply pretend and act humble.

Be the first to apologise.

Kneel down and give him food.

In fact, pretend to be submissive

Before you know, you don marry.


@Op, sorry o!
Get a lawyer to help.

true talk.

royalamour:
Met in 2014 November.
Dated for 11 months. All these while she was so homely and accommodating.

She would call to let me know about her movements even when I did not ask for.

She would apologize at any slight opportunity.

It was all rosy.

The parents kept calling and advising me not to let other ladies win me over.

They would visit or call my parents at every given opportunity and I felt "this is it".

We got married almost a year later.

The first 2 weeks of the honeymoon was smooth until the 3rd week and bam! there was disagreement about money.

She stabbed me with a knife though the cut wasn't too deep. It took me months to catch up with reality as the lady I was dating was a total different person.

That was the journey of misery and then it was nagging, disrespect and stuffs until I caught her on the phone telling her ex that she misses him and sh1ts.

I was devastated. This lady refused to apologize. She won't even listen to me whenever I asked to have a heart to heart talk with her.

I had to involve her parents and it was by force before she apologized.

She got pregnant and 9 months later she was delivered of our first son.

2 weeks later, my attention was drawn to constant beeping on her phone and when I checked, my supposed wife was discussing with another of her ex about how tight and intact her vagina was cos she gave birth through CS. And the guy used to be jealous cos he enjoyed the sex they had as she was always tight and shits.

I was devastated. I drew her attention to it and she denied feigning ignorance. It was when I showed her screenshots that she accepted and asked me to forget about it, that what has happened has happened.

She would never say sorry. So called her elder brother and he begged me and begged her to apologize, still she won't.

I reported to the mother. This didn't help matters. The aunts numbering about 4 had to beg on her behalf.
I let it slide.

Things got worse and it came to a point where she would not cook. Even times when I return home from long journeys, I most times will have to go into the kitchen to sort myself.

Mum got sick and I asked that she come to us so that we can go to bigger hospital for proper check up and hell was let loose.

She stopped cooking and would only cook whenever she desires.

Time past and my life became almost miserable.

I would close from the office and won't be able to go home. I would stroll into a beer parlour and while away time till maybe 10pm and would sneak out very early even before she wakes up.

Earlier in 2016, I had empowered her with 1.2 million to start a business and one dime I didn't see as return on investment with her citing low patronage as the reason for the collapse of the business.

It was until the elder brother who was staying with us asked her for money and she refused that the dude disclosed that she made about 2.6 million from sales of items and services she rendered in the shop she denied making nothing from. She could not deny this fact but for my son I let it slide.

My wife would bring her female friend into the home and this lady even when she was engaged to a guy still go out to sleep with other guys.
I asked her to stop been friends with her and she blatantly refused. She would go ahead to invite the lady into my home and rain insults on me because I don't want them together.

This final one was the calls she was making with her ex most times when I was away in the office.
I noticed and she couldn't deny it. I later learnt that her cheat of a friend was the middle person that delivers messages to my wife whenever I was around.

I can't take it anymore.

I don't wanna die before my time.

I can't eat in my house anymore as she threatened to poison me and nothing will happen. This was let out in a heat of a moment while we were exchanging words.

What's the express way to divorce without complications?

NB: The dad has asked me to quit before I start to develop HBP.

Do not disturb or bother her anymore to perform any more duties as expected of a wife.

I wish I could counsel you one-on-one on the best way to plan your divorce. But unfortunately, your story is filled with a lot of missing pieces.

1.Things I was expecting to see is, your family for instance, are they aware of all this and what is their take on your next move and what is their suggestions on a next move.

2. Your friends, tight buddies, what input or suggestions have they offered and what role have they played in your life so far since you got married.

3. What do you sincerely - And I mean sincerely - think you may have done or are still doing that encourages her consistent behaviour or shall we say misbehaviour.

4. Her family, what is the conclusion of her extended family concerning her behaviour. What kind of person do they now see her as now.

5. Have you ever been discovered in a misdemeanour of your own, be very brutally frank and honest with yourself; have you ever cheated on her and she found out, be 100% honest, and judge yourself as a man without sentiments. Have you acted out of line as a husband yes or no (And that "I am a man" bullshit doesnt apply here).

6. Most time during or outside an argument, what does she constantly accuse you of being or doing that she doesn't like. Typically what does she always say you do to her, as in her "you have started again", complain that you are fond of doing that she does not like.

7. Is she a house wife by chance or by choice? Because your story suggests that she is a house wife. Was it a consenual decision or did you insist that she doesn't work, because I perceive serious idleness on her part.

8. What is her level of education and where did you first meet? What did you guys used to do or go to for fun before you got married.

9. Where you guys physically intimate before you got married? Where you having sex before you got married, I ask because experience with most guys, show that their judgement in assessing girls for marriage is usually clouded by physical/sexually intimacy. She may be showing signs of misdemeanour but such things get waved off by guys who are on a natural high from good supply of "touching body".

10. How did you get married? Did you do traditional wedding in her parents place in their village or just in my father's how in town? Did you do church wedding or court wedding or both? If you did church wedding, was input has the church you wedded/attending made since you got married. If you are Muslim, what input has the alfa made since you got married.

11. When last did you pray for her or concerning what's happening!

These and many other things I will need to know to give the best advice.

For now; these are my do's and don'ts for you. For someone planning a divorce

1. But first, buy a spy glass that isnt so obvious and document your heart to heart conversations with her. From screen shot, to audio recordings to spy glass video recordings, give yourself 2 years, document as many anomalies that exist in your home.


2. Never, ever argue with your wife. I am a firm believer in the ability to live with your wife and never argue. It is an insult to do so, you are free to have different shades of opinion on a matter, even to disagree on a subject but an argument is nonsense. In an argument, the focus is on each other and not the issue and that's where people start to denigrate and deprecate each other. Simply call her and tell her your mind about how you feel about a thing/issue with sound reasons and leave it alone, if she agrees with it and respects you enough to comply; fine! .......if she doesn't hold your peace and ignore it. Since you are on your way to a divorce, just document it and move on. Never be vindictive in doing this at any stage.

3. Seriously consider what you want to start seeing in your home and let her know it. Do your best and continue to be the good husband that you ought to be. Ask yourself, what kind of place do you want your home to be. Take time out to call her once in a while and softly tell her some things she needs to start doing as your wife(not as a married woman, not as other women are doing it but as a woman living as your own wife); no insults, no heated debates, no arguments, no comparisons with other homes/women (See rule number one again for emphasis).

4. Maintain rule one and rule two consistently for 2 years. No matter how provoked you are by an acts she takes, simply talk to her and leave it at that. Never try to slap, insult, make comparison. Tell her gently, smile sef join, document and leave it.

5. Look for mininum of 2 people you can trust to be absolutely discreet. One ought to be family or closer/bolder than family, the other should be your attorney . You will need these 2 for sanity purpose because a man can only take so much before he loses his mind. Ensure you have a cloud storage website on the internet, e.g. 4shared.com or even your email where you preserve all the evidence acquired over 2 years. Your attorney should have that password.

6. Never confront her over anything you find abnormal for your home, if you must; document it - video or audio - and preserve it as well. Also ensure you have a member of her family that is aware of extraordinary things that should not happen - like her sleeping with someone else, or maintaining a close relationship with her ex. Take note, extraordinary things only

7. If you must report anything she does in this season, it is to be done for information purposes only. And it must be only when extremely necessary and no more. Outside your trust circle, which must include an attorney for divorce purposes, be very discreet with information on your home.

N.B: a lawyer is not only necessary if you did a court wedding. If you did a proper traditional marriage, a customary court can also annul your marriage.

Then after 2 years, a simple review of where you are in your life and what the evidence you have documented so far will determine how best to proceed.......

I don't typically support/advice people to get a divorce, but waiting till she lace your meal with rat poison isn't a marriage either.

Plus I am totally unware of her side to this story, so many fragments to this story is missing......

demelza:
To hook a Nigerian man is very easy.



Before you know, you don marry.


@Op, sorry o!
Get a lawyer to help.

I've always seen this said, but I've never believed this advice. I always feel that if a woman pretends like this just to get married, the man can still leave her and marry someone else no matter how submissive she is.

Then it will be just unnecessary stress the woman put herself through

Which type of men dey around nowadays sef?

Woman stabbed you and you just dey look am?
She is worse than an enemy.

I would go treat myself first, but she knows I must not meet her at home when I get back.
na she go divorce by herself.

You are weak.

EfemenaXY:


Divorce. Divorce. Divorce.

Divorce isn’t always the answer to marital problems and should never be taken lightly especially when there are children involved.

This should only ever be the last resort if all else has failed.

Besides, there’s always three sides to every story:

~ His side
~ Her side
~ The truth

Based purely on your side of the story, you need to do some serious soul searching and ask yourself why your wife changed overnight.

The first few years of marriage are the honeymoon stage. You courted this woman for 11 months. That’s quite a while to have studied her. There is no way a person can keep up the pretence for 11 long months (unless yours was a long distance relationship?). There must have been red flags. You just chose to ignore them.

Nonetheless, there HAS to be a reason why she’s suddenly turned 360^os on you. Obviously there appears to be:

1. An emotional black hole in your relationship. The ex turning up is a symptom of the underlying issues with your marriage. A woman would only turn to an ex or another man if her emotional needs aren’t being met. For example when discussing with your wife, do you seek her opinion / input or do you wave aside her views? Do you say “Thank you” to make her feel appreciated when she gives / does something you are a recipient of? What is your sex life like with her? Do you take the time to satisfy her needs? Or is it all about you, you, and you? Is life with you one endless boring routine? Or do you make efforts to spice it up?

2. Trust Issues. When a wife starts stashing away huge sums of cash in secret, it means she’s preparing a nest egg for herself and her kids without you in the picture. Most times this action arises from betrayal or if she perceives you to have betrayed her. Have you ever cheated on her? Or done something to make her feel insecure in your union?

3. Immaturity. A refusal to acknowledge one’s fault / mistake and apologise accordingly is usually down to misplaced pride and immaturity. Wisdom comes with age. How old is your wife?

For a marriage to work, both parties have to roll up their sleeves and get stuck in. You have to ask yourself if there’s any part of you that wants to salvage the marriage. If you do, then you need to ask your wife if she’s still interested in the marriage too.

If the answer is “yes” from both of you, then both of you need to make the effort to save it. Start by seeking help from a neutral third party such as a marriage counsellor. Book a couple of sessions with them so you and wifey can talk through your issues.

Your problems didn’t start today. They’ve festered for over four years so you need to be patient and not expect everything to be miraculously resolved in one day. A lot of patience, perseverance, and constant communication will be needed to get your relationship back to a healthy state.

It is well.

This comes in very handy from a mature mind, hopefully OP and someone else learns from it. Captured my opinion as well. Would be great to hear from her side before drawing any conclusions. The marriage has certainly become very toxic and I sense a lot of selfishness and negligence possibly from both parties.

There was a similar story I was privy to. Turned out she was desperate about marriage and overlooked his bossy and imposing character as well as his untruthfulness and rudeness too. She was a fighter too so she wanted her opinion heard.

Long story short, it ended up in fist fights, lack of trust and unfaithfulness.

Every month we shall have a series of essay contests (maximum 600 words). This is to stimulate our writing, reading and communication skills. Three Winners of the essay contests will be chosen based on originality, structure and grammar. Winners each month will each get N400 airtime of any network sent to their phone numbers. For the month of January 2019, the essay contest is on the topic......

Continue at https://newkokoro.com/2019/01/02/win-n400-airtime-in-january-2019-essay-contest/

This is what always happens when a man desires a slave for a wife or vice visa then the bad ones study you and pretend along, just to hook you.

Had it been, you are the type that shows love and allow your girl to be herself, there wouldn't be any need for a monster to pretend to be an angel, just to hook you.

I pray God safes you from this mistake you've made. Next time, give more love than receiving, with that, the lady will feel too relax, and from there you'll know her true colour, otherwise, you will continue to get wolf in sheep's clothing as wife. People study other people's major weakness and use it as a strong weapon to defeat you. My opinion though.

BlacSmit:
If this is truth. I advice that you secure yourself first and move out of the shared apartment cos your relationship is very toxic at the moment.

Secure your finance and priceless valuables as well.

Your can start the divorce proceedings from your hideout like dino melaye. (sarcasm intended)

You said the truth in a funny way but it is not funny at all. My advice for the man is to run for his life. Even the bible said one of the conditions to divorce is if your partner is an unbeliever. The woman is a chronic unbeliever. Chai! May God separate us from evil

This is serious... Can I really take this? Imagine the stabbing...nawao

Wow! Egbon, lemme koko commend you on your suuru and perseverance; i know you did all those things you did for her thinking pe o si ma ni change of mind for the better - only a few men could do that.......... But don't you think it's hightime you gift her the ominira she'd been craving for all these while before she gives your life ominira away this earth; i believe you got my illustration..... Move on with aye yin cos this life ehn; o simple gann, Olorun..... Pls, do the needful on time and let her learn the hard way. Peace out

MoxxxxO123:
In as much as you are experiencing this tough situation in your marriage divorce won't be a way out of this, firstly you take it to God in prayers..For the sake of your well being and your son find a way to act blind to her while you still make efforts for the marriage.dont seek divorce or separation at this time

thank you

Atimes, i wonder how a learned person wld be asking stupid questions.

Get a divorce lawyer now to facilitate the divorce or you myt not live to see 2020

You took all these shits in the name of marriage?
Listen, marriage is not a do or die, if it becomes toxic,walk away fast. In all honesty, you are lucky to still be alive....Seek divorce as a matter of urgency and I expect you to separate first before something happens to you like a robbery case where you would be killed as the alibi

royalamour:
Met in 2014 November.
Dated for 11 months. All these while she was so homely and accommodating.

She would call to let me know about her movements even when I did not ask for.

She would apologize at any slight opportunity.

It was all rosy.

The parents kept calling and advising me not to let other ladies win me over.

They would visit or call my parents at every given opportunity and I felt "this is it".

We got married almost a year later.

The first 2 weeks of the honeymoon was smooth until the 3rd week and bam! there was disagreement about money.

She stabbed me with a knife though the cut wasn't too deep. It took me months to catch up with reality as the lady I was dating was a total different person.

That was the journey of misery and then it was nagging, disrespect and stuffs until I caught her on the phone telling her ex that she misses him and sh1ts.

I was devastated. This lady refused to apologize. She won't even listen to me whenever I asked to have a heart to heart talk with her.

I had to involve her parents and it was by force before she apologized.

She got pregnant and 9 months later she was delivered of our first son.

2 weeks later, my attention was drawn to constant beeping on her phone and when I checked, my supposed wife was discussing with another of her ex about how tight and intact her vagina was cos she gave birth through CS. And the guy used to be jealous cos he enjoyed the sex they had as she was always tight and shits.

I was devastated. I drew her attention to it and she denied feigning ignorance. It was when I showed her screenshots that she accepted and asked me to forget about it, that what has happened has happened.

She would never say sorry. So called her elder brother and he begged me and begged her to apologize, still she won't.

I reported to the mother. This didn't help matters. The aunts numbering about 4 had to beg on her behalf.
I let it slide.

Things got worse and it came to a point where she would not cook. Even times when I return home from long journeys, I most times will have to go into the kitchen to sort myself.

Mum got sick and I asked that she come to us so that we can go to bigger hospital for proper check up and hell was let loose.

She stopped cooking and would only cook whenever she desires.

Time past and my life became almost miserable.

I would close from the office and won't be able to go home. I would stroll into a beer parlour and while away time till maybe 10pm and would sneak out very early even before she wakes up.

Earlier in 2016, I had empowered her with 1.2 million to start a business and one dime I didn't see as return on investment with her citing low patronage as the reason for the collapse of the business.

It was until the elder brother who was staying with us asked her for money and she refused that the dude disclosed that she made about 2.6 million from sales of items and services she rendered in the shop she denied making nothing from. She could not deny this fact but for my son I let it slide.

My wife would bring her female friend into the home and this lady even when she was engaged to a guy still go out to sleep with other guys.
I asked her to stop been friends with her and she blatantly refused. She would go ahead to invite the lady into my home and rain insults on me because I don't want them together.

This final one was the calls she was making with her ex most times when I was away in the office.
I noticed and she couldn't deny it. I later learnt that her cheat of a friend was the middle person that delivers messages to my wife whenever I was around.

I can't take it anymore.

I don't wanna die before my time.

I can't eat in my house anymore as she threatened to poison me and nothing will happen. This was let out in a heat of a moment while we were exchanging words.

What's the express way to divorce without complications?

NB: The dad has asked me to quit before I start to develop HBP.

Why do I strangely feel like I need to read her own side of the story?

Evercurious:




IS THIS A JOKE?

Good question abeg.

royalamour:
Please don't mind the typos and other errors.

Bros

What are you waiting for?

You don't need nairaland for wisdom

Bros 1stly send your son away and throw that whóre out! But don't forget to beat her blue and black before doing it!

Involve all kinds of things for her! As she could stab,shoot or kill you at any provocation!


Don't go low or look at her as a girl!


Look at her as your fellow man!

Two men can't be married and stay happily ever after