cooljuman:


She said she's ok after taking the herbal drugs several months, so what stops her from agreeing to get pregnant so we can get married. Am not forcing her to go for surgery, all I want it lets try pregnancy then we get married. It will reduce my fears.

Valerie47:
She must be advanced in age for her to have fibroid. Fibroid happens to women in their late 20s and early 30s. That's why it good to have children when you are still young.

Paxie55:
Guys eehn, when it comes to a woman's health issue they will disappear, but will encourage ladies to marry them, even in their stricken broken state.

As for the lady, I wonder why she's playing with her health issues.
Why is she afraid to go for surgery? Well, sister wouldn't want that she did the surgery and lost her womb or something( ignorance, maybe)

She doesn't wanna get pregnant cos she thinks you won't wife her if you impregnate her( trust issues, due to many fvxk boys, but at this stage of the relationship, she ought to have trusted you by now)

I would say, you should give her reasons why you would want her do the surgery, and be plain about it without fear of prejudice.

PenlsCaP:
Stand on ur ground.. It's either she go for the surgery or get pregnant.
That's if she ain't hiding anything

She has a medical condition that requires surgery so why is she running away?

Valerie47:
She must be advanced in age for her to have fibroid. Fibroid happens to women in their late 20s and early 30s. That's why it good to have children when you are still young.

martyns303:


You gave her half the money, is she capable of raising the remaining half?

Is she based in PH? attended UST? from BY?

cooljuman:
We have been dating for more than 2 year, but in 2018 she went for a scan and found out that she has fibroid and hormonal imbalance and that it could hinder pregnancy. Doctors advice that she go for surgery in order for her not to have complications with pregnancy. I gave her more than half the cost of the surgery which she agreed to go for. Same day she said she's not going for the surgery again until she gets married. She started taking herbal medicine that it will reduce the size of the fibroid and that way she will be able to get pregnant even without surgery and she also took drugs for the hormonal imbalance. after some months the size of her stomach reduced cos initially it was bigger than normal. Late last year we started having disagreement as regards marriage. She wants us to get married but I'm reluctant cos of her medical condition knowing she didn't go for the surgery and not sure if she's going to find it difficult getting pregnant after marriage. So I asked her to get pregnant before we get married and the once she get pregnant I will marry her, but she said she's not getting pregnant unti we're married. again, I'm working and earns in six figures. She said she don't want to get pregnant and that she's not going for surgery until we're married. I love her and will like to get married to her but the medical condition is putting me off. What if am right and what if am wrong. We've not talked to each other for two weeks now and we've not seen either. Doctors in the house i need advice please

marvin906:
I might understand where she's coming from..
I believe she's afraid of unforseen complications during the surgery maybe destruction of her womb which might make you dump her..
Buh you have make her understand that is her health she's putting at risk just because of fear..
Can't believe am saying this buh dude stand by her
If you where in her shoes you will do the same and please find a specialist in this case

Yohh:

First, why did she go for a scan in d first place before the fibroid was discovered
Secondly, a scan won't reveal hormonal imbalance and there's nothing in ur story that is an indication for hormonal assay.
Thirdly, having fibroid doesn't mean she cannot conceive. There are different types of fibroid actually Abd none require treatment except if symptomatic.
The truth is most women u see out there have forbids but are just not big.
In conclusion, I think u have been misinformed and probably deceived coz I'm not comfortable with the view u have about fibroid, hormonal imbalance didn't even fit into ur story at all. She needs to see a gynecologist.

cooljuman:


She did hormonal profile test too. The reason she went for the scan was because we had unprotected sex and she said she was in her ovulation when we had the test, when she didn't get pregnant she insisted we go for testing, that was when we discovered this whole thing.

Hisduchess:

you and this picture though

Yohh:

Then if that's d case, u are just unnecessary anxious.
The fact that she was ovulating doesn't give 100% assurance she would pregnant if she has sex besides many think they know their fertile period but don't really know.
Even World health organization sets a period of one year before diagnosis of infertility can be made.
Both of u were just misinformed
Funny enough, if she gets pregnant now, she will think it's the herbs that worked whereas she might even not have fertility problem in d first place.
Pls who ordered for hormonal assay and why? There's no indication for that in ur story.

1Ronaldo:
If you are earning well, pregnancy would never be an issue.
Women with hormonal imbalances and fibroid still get pregnant.
Shey she is seeing her menses, right?
Even if she isn't, there are plenty of treatment for her whenever she wants to have a baby like taking drugs for ovulation induction or just doing IVF...
If you love her, you will marry her..

And please, she should stop taking those herbal concoction....



PS: I am in your shoes ... Almost the same thing. Hers is even a more serious condition with the possibility of her not getting pregnant.
But all things being equal, we are working towards getting a solution ...

Modified: what's her reason for not going for surgery?

bigpicture001:


95% of ladies who underwent surgery to get rid of fibroid usually do not conceive again...


Sh is very right in her fears of the after effect of the surgery. Doctors will pet u into doing it nd leave to God with the consequences.

Plz try understand her. My elder sis is now 9 years after same surgery without being able to conceive again..

U guys should luk for hospitals where foreign doctors com for humanitarian surgery expose'. That is ur best chance of a rather successful surgrey

cooljuman:


We met a gynaecologist after examining her ordered for the various tests including hsg. Doctors are of the opinion that if she goes ahead with pregnancy without surgery, she might have ectopic pregnancy. I advised she go for the surgery but she insisted that she's not going for surgery and opted for herbal medicine.now she said she's ok and all she wants is marriage. So I said let her get pregnant before marriage but she insisted on no marriage no pregnancy. Am so confused.

BecaciaBarbie:
Are you a Christian? If you are why would you support premarital sex not to talk more of getting pregnant before marriage. Any lady that falls for this getting pregnant first in this 21st century is nothing but a big fool! People change, promises are broken, things happen but then it would have been too late for you.

You either marry her because you love her and ready to go through the storm with her or you let her be. Do you guys think everyone got the thick skin to go for surgery? Many panick as they could lose their lives in the process, so it is not an easy decision and you need to understand her.


In the western world, I'm sure this wouldn't even be a problem, but I understand you as well. You should also note that, not all healthy women out there are able to conceive.

So, what's the solution you are suggesting now

cooljuman:


Except she gets married she's not going for surgery. To her marriage is an assurance that I'll not leave her no matter the situation. For me I just want to know that everything is OK before marriage, cos marriage comes with its own challenge and adding fertility to it might just be too much for me.

Kelklein:
I had a firsthand experience of what you are going through.. But in my own case we found out after the marriage, and after three years of childlessness.


She eventually went for the surgery and it wasn't as bad as we thought (also maybe because we went to a very good hospital - this is very important - do not patronize non-professional O&G surgeons for Fibroid removal operation also known as myomectomy).

My wife has two kids now.... So I will advise you personally take her to a good hospital for the operation. Tell the doctor to help convince her to go for the operation. Tell her to do it if she cherishes the relationship and give all the support you can..

Get your parents or hers involved if you have to.

cooljuman:
We have been dating for more than 2 year, but in 2018 she went for a scan and found out that she has fibroid and hormonal imbalance and that it could hinder pregnancy. Doctors advice that she go for surgery in order for her not to have complications with pregnancy. I gave her more than half the cost of the surgery which she agreed to go for. Same day she said she's not going for the surgery again until she gets married. She started taking herbal medicine that it will reduce the size of the fibroid and that way she will be able to get pregnant even without surgery and she also took drugs for the hormonal imbalance. after some months the size of her stomach reduced cos initially it was bigger than normal. Late last year we started having disagreement as regards marriage. She wants us to get married but I'm reluctant cos of her medical condition knowing she didn't go for the surgery and not sure if she's going to find it difficult getting pregnant after marriage. So I asked her to get pregnant before we get married and the once she get pregnant I will marry her, but she said she's not getting pregnant unti we're married. again, I'm working and earns in six figures. She said she don't want to get pregnant and that she's not going for surgery until we're married. I love her and will like to get married to her but the medical condition is putting me off. What if am right and what if am wrong. We've not talked to each other for two weeks now and we've not seen either. Doctors in the house i need advice please

Paxie55:
Guys eehn, when it comes to a woman's health issue they will disappear, but will encourage ladies to marry them, even in their stricken broken state.

As for the lady, I wonder why she's playing with her health issues.
Why is she afraid to go for surgery? Well, sister wouldn't want that she did the surgery and lost her womb or something( ignorance, maybe)

She doesn't wanna get pregnant cos she thinks you won't wife her if you impregnate her( trust issues, due to many fvxk boys, but at this stage of the relationship, she ought to have trusted you by now)

I would say, you should give her reasons why you would want her do the surgery, and be plain about it without fear of prejudice.

martyns303:


Not necessarily, I have seen a 22yr old with fibroid....

funmisticqueen:
it happens to even 20 yr olds. I am.a doctor so i know.

Paxie55:
Guys eehn, when it comes to a woman's health issue they will disappear, but will encourage ladies to marry them, even in their stricken broken state.

As for the lady, I wonder why she's playing with her health issues.
Why is she afraid to go for surgery? Well, sister wouldn't want that she did the surgery and lost her womb or something( ignorance, maybe)

She doesn't wanna get pregnant cos she thinks you won't wife her if you impregnate her( trust issues, due to many fvxk boys, but at this stage of the relationship, she ought to have trusted you by now)

I would say, you should give her reasons why you would want her do the surgery, and be plain about it without fear of prejudice.

ValCon888:


Thank you very much. Its only you, only you in the whole wide world that has a well in his head.

Valerie47:
Any woman that has fibroid and get pregnant most time always miscarry, that is what she is afraid of.

samysmoothfresh:
Oga, i only have one question for you.


You collect the money wey you give her for the surgery back after she tell you say she no want surgery but want dey drink agbo(herbal medcine)?

Omoge87:
Hi all. I joined this forum because as a Qualified Midwife I can say that the Poster is a bit misinformed and I just had to say my bit. Having Fibroids does not mean she will not be able to have children. I have seen and cared for many clients that conceived with ease and they have fibroids. In most cases Fibroids shrinks in pregnancy as it gets starved of oxygen so it cannot grow. The women just have regular scans to assess throughout the pregnancy. Some have normal delivery, whilst some end up with c-section- it just depends where the Fibroid/Fibroids are.

Personally I don’t agree that she should get pregnant for you before marriage. I don’t think you are ready to marry her anyway. The fact is whoever you marry it is for better for worse. Your marriage appears to come with conditions and nobody knows their tomorrow. We only walk in Faith that our tomorrow will be ok. If you leave her today because of what you think she can or cannot do, what goes to say the ‘healthy’ woman you marry will be able to conceive. What if you may eventually be the problem? I have heard of many couples who have had unexplained infertility and these couples have remained together through it all. What if tomorrow you developed a medical condition- does it mean your girlfriend should also give you similar conditions ?

You don’t have sex with someone on Monday and expect them to get pregnant on Tuesday. Infertility is diagnosed after one year of a couple trying - before then they won’t even qualify for IVF.

If she does the surgery and they spoil her womb - will you marry her after that? Are you aware that even after surgery - Fibroids can grow back? Her choice to do the surgery or not and it is your choice to remain with her or not. Everything is a choice - but all choices have their consequences - good and bad.

Even if you choose to not marry your girlfriend- my advice to you for the future is you don’t just write someone off - you don’t know what your own situation is going to be like tomorrow.

My advice free her and let her go. Marriage is for better for worse - and right now she is in her worst and you appear to not be able to handle what may follow. Let her go.