₦airaland Forum

Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 2,190,013 members, 4,775,118 topics. Date: Friday, 22 February 2019 at 10:00 AM

I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having - Romance (3) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having (6190 Views)

I Wanted To Be Honest With My Fiance But The Truth May Break Us / About To Get Married; Should I Ask Her About Her Medical Records? / "What My Fiance Did For Me After Breaking My Leg In An Accident". Photos (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (4) (Reply) (Go Down)

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by sherylbakky: 1:26pm On Jan 13
Aving fibroid does not mean she cant get pregnant unless d fibroid is outgrown- dats wen she cud av som kind of fertility issues. Let me tel u, 7 outta 10 black women experience fibroid one time in their life, n even after surgery new one can grow again (gues she has seen a case lik dis or somtin). Fibroid cud get shrinked as a result of certain remedies (i'm not talkin of concoctions here)n she cud av babies like other women after the shrinkage. The only tin i dont understand abt her is y she is not even ready to experiment her condition by getin preg.Are u not faithful 2 her?Its like d 2 of u av bn aving misunderstanding b4 dis issue arise (just a guess tho).

Let her see reasons why she has to get pregnant,dis is more dan a situation of *thou shal not get pregnant b4 marriage*even wen many thou are aving premarital s*x.After both of u av agreed,If she cant stil get preg or d pregnancy turns out 2 be ectopic, then u sud make her see reasons she has to go 4 surgery den.But let her b sure she's not alone.

1 Like

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by JONNYSPUTE(m): 1:47pm On Jan 13
Omoge87:
Hi all. I joined this forum because as a Qualified Midwife I can say that the Poster is a bit misinformed and I just had to say my bit. Having Fibroids does not mean she will not be able to have children. I have seen and cared for many clients that conceived with ease and they have fibroids. In most cases Fibroids shrinks in pregnancy as it gets starved of oxygen so it cannot grow. The women just have regular scans to assess throughout the pregnancy. Some have normal delivery, whilst some end up with c-section- it just depends where the Fibroid/Fibroids are.

Personally I don’t agree that she should get pregnant for you before marriage. I don’t think you are ready to marry her anyway. The fact is whoever you marry it is for better for worse. Your marriage appears to come with conditions and nobody knows their tomorrow. We only walk in Faith that our tomorrow will be ok. If you leave her today because of what you think she can or cannot do, what goes to say the ‘healthy’ woman you marry will be able to conceive. What if you may eventually be the problem? I have heard of many couples who have had unexplained infertility and these couples have remained together through it all. What if tomorrow you developed a medical condition- does it mean your girlfriend should also give you similar conditions ?

You don’t have sex with someone on Monday and expect them to get pregnant on Tuesday. Infertility is diagnosed after one year of a couple trying - before then they won’t even qualify for IVF.

If she does the surgery and they spoil her womb - will you marry her after that? Are you aware that even after surgery - Fibroids can grow back? Her choice to do the surgery or not and it is your choice to remain with her or not. Everything is a choice - but all choices have their consequences - good and bad.

Even if you choose to not marry your girlfriend- my advice to you for the future is you don’t just write someone off - you don’t know what your own situation is going to be like tomorrow.

My advice free her and let her go. Marriage is for better for worse - and right now she is in her worst and you appear to not be able to handle what may follow. Let her go.
Remain blessed.@op,listen to this.
Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by bigpicture001: 2:05pm On Jan 13
chloride6:


Stop saying nonsense

You hv nothing to say,but say those that made attempt say nonsense!
Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by JhyMedex: 2:10pm On Jan 13
bigpicture001:
95% of ladies who underwent surgery to get rid of fibroid usually do not conceive again...

Sh is very right in her fears of the after effect of the surgery. Doctors will pet u into doing it nd leave to God with the consequences.

Plz try understand her. My elder sis is now 9 years after same surgery without being able to conceive again..

U guys should luk for hospitals where foreign doctors com for humanitarian surgery expose'. That is ur best chance of a rather successful surgrey

people like u bruh r very dangerous...

if only false claims cos become a punishable offence..
wen did u conduct a research on d success of myomectimy in Nigerian hospitals n discovered 95% dnt conceive after it..

Am wit one of the topmost teaching hospitals in the country...myomectomy is a common procedure.. n i can assure u almost hundred percent of the women conceive within a yr of the surgery...

Some poor woman will read d misinformation u wrote up there n mayb decide not to go n take hers out n rely on herbal med instead...
then she ends up at an emergency unit in d hospital fytin for her dear life...

Lets b guided pls..

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by dingbang(m): 2:13pm On Jan 13
She is confused, I dont like confused people angry
Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by funmisticqueen(f): 2:35pm On Jan 13
jakandeola:
no wonder ur shakara plenty u be doctor but na for ur pocket. let see were ur gragra will lead u
pained nigga. I would rather be single and adopt a child at 70 than to sign up for misery and headaches by settling for the likes of you.
Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by funmisticqueen(f): 2:39pm On Jan 13
JhyMedex:


people like u bruh r very dangerous...

if only false claims cos become a punishable offence..
wen did u conduct a research on d success of myomectimy in Nigerian hospitals n discovered 95% dnt conceive after it..

Am wit one of the topmost teaching hospitals in the country...myomectomy is a common procedure.. n i can assure u almost hundred percent of the women conceive within a yr of the surgery...

Some poor woman will read d misinformation u wrote up there n mayb decide not to go n take hers out n rely on herbal med instead...
then she ends up at an emergency unit in d hospital fytin for her dear life...

Lets b guided pls..
thank you. If there is one thing nigerian doctors do better than our foreign counterparts, it is myomectomies. I have seen doctors remove up to 20kg fibroids. Whites dont see fibroid cases the way we do.

2 Likes

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by funmisticqueen(f): 2:44pm On Jan 13
JhyMedex:


people like u bruh r very dangerous...

if only false claims cos become a punishable offence..
wen did u conduct a research on d success of myomectimy in Nigerian hospitals n discovered 95% dnt conceive after it..

Am wit one of the topmost teaching hospitals in the country...myomectomy is a common procedure.. n i can assure u almost hundred percent of the women conceive within a yr of the surgery...

Some poor woman will read d misinformation u wrote up there n mayb decide not to go n take hers out n rely on herbal med instead...
then she ends up at an emergency unit in d hospital fytin for her dear life...

Lets b guided pls..
thank you. If there is one thing nigerian doctors do better than our foreign counterparts, it is myomectomies. I have seen doctors remove up to 20kg fibroids. Whites dont see fibroid cases the way we do.

What op doesnt know is that of she gets pregnant with the fibroid in situ, she will most likely have a CS, that is if the baby survives till term
Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by kenkel: 2:52pm On Jan 13
ValCon888:

You don't need a doctor, you need a counsellor and this is what i have to tell you;

When you were fvcking her constantly for 2 whole years it was sweeting you abi? Even with the big stomach you were still lashing her mercilessly.

Now you know she has fibroid and hormonal imbalance you want to dump her.

Dump her for who if i may ask?


you are funny
Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by Rolly22(m): 3:08pm On Jan 13
Seandisputed:

People like you who think women do men favour by sleeping with them are just sick in the head.

Seriously Sick
Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by Mankosi: 3:13pm On Jan 13
ValCon888:

You don't need a doctor, you need a counsellor and this is what i have to tell you;

When you were fvcking her constantly for 2 whole years it was sweeting you abi? Even with the big stomach you were still lashing her mercilessly.

Now you know she has fibroid and hormonal imbalance you want to dump her.

Dump her for who if i may ask?


lol@ dump her for who. However But this is marriage and no longer friendship so I think he should put into consideration.
Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by Mankosi: 3:17pm On Jan 13
martyns303:


You gave her half the money, is she capable of raising the remaining half?

Is she based in PH? attended UST? from BY?
it's like u know her. U don friend her before?

1 Like

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by DMerciful(m): 3:17pm On Jan 13
Why do people make it seems banging is one-sided pleasure? The guy is going to be committed to one woman and he doesn't wants to risk not having children you're here misyarning
ValCon888:

You don't need a doctor, you need a counsellor and this is what i have to tell you;

When you were fvcking her constantly for 2 whole years it was sweeting you abi? Even with the big stomach you were still lashing her mercilessly.

Now you know she has fibroid and hormonal imbalance you want to dump her.

Dump her for who if i may ask?


1 Like

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by Seandisputed(m): 3:32pm On Jan 13
Rolly22:


Seriously Sick

I hate that poo with passion.

Two adults break up and all fingers points to the guy that he broke up with a lady because he has fvcked enough and he is tired of the pussy.

Quite pathetic i must say.

1 Like

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by Rolly22(m): 3:35pm On Jan 13
Seandisputed:


I hate that poo with passion.

Two adults break up and all fingers points to the guy that he broke up with a lady because he has fvcked enough and he is tired of the pussy.

Quite pathetic i must say.

That's useless mentality. As if both Don't enjoy the sex.

2 Likes

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by merahki: 3:59pm On Jan 13
bigpicture001:



Only 1 in 70 successfully give birth with evidence of developed fibroid in them. If she takes in,btw 3 to 4 months sh will miscarry. And it will not be the normal type. It the blood will gush so.much sh myt need hospital equipment to be alive.

Sh just doesn't know that herbal doesn't solve anything.

Plz try to get that this is her health. So sh will be a scared of life and death. Fibroid is scarcely dangerous till you go wake it with esp pregnancy.

You guyz should not argue much,you guyz need more talk and trust.

Only this kinda of surgery with these white ppl will giv her peace of mind.

For you,ur too harsh and too direct with take it or leave it approach. Find another way to communicate. What about you jilting her even after the pregnancy..?

A supposedly poor well behaved man usually believes he is not a womaniser. Wait until he makes his millions b4 u can categorise him. Same thing for you,if u get him.pregnant the. Whole ball now resides on your court,then she would be at your mercy. Then you might be tempted to act otherwise.

We never know ourself, till we are totally in charge!


shocked
One word for you-
Big Quack
(I used two words, sue me)
Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by ruthxzy(f): 6:00pm On Jan 13
She should re-take the scan to know her present condition

1 Like

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by ceeceeuwa: 8:51pm On Jan 13
cooljuman:


We met a gynaecologist after examining her ordered for the various tests including hsg. Doctors are of the opinion that if she goes ahead with pregnancy without surgery, she might have ectopic pregnancy. I advised she go for the surgery but she insisted that she's not going for surgery and opted for herbal medicine.now she said she's ok and all she wants is marriage. So I said let her get pregnant before marriage but she insisted on no marriage no pregnancy. Am so confused.
Take her for another medical examination since she claims to be fine after taking the trado medical treatment.
Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by ValCon888(m): 9:02pm On Jan 13
Seandisputed:


Until you stop placing women's pvssy on a pedestal and thinking with your dick you won't stop being lsick in the head.

It is 'sick' not Isick but I'm sure you wouldn't know that since your brain is located in your anus.
Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by Mryacks(m): 9:03pm On Jan 13
BecaciaBarbie:
Are you a Christian? If you are why would you support premarital sex not to talk more of getting pregnant before marriage. Any lady that falls for this getting pregnant first in this 21st century is nothing but a big fool! People change, promises are broken, things happen but then it would have been too late for you.

You either marry her because you love her and ready to go through the storm with her or you let her be. Do you guys think everyone got the thick skin to go for surgery? Many panick as they could lose their lives in the process, so it is not an easy decision and you need to understand her.


In the western world, I'm sure this wouldn't even be a problem, but I understand you as well. You should also note that, not all healthy women out there are able to conceive.



God bless you for this...

1 Like

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by Seandisputed(m): 9:26pm On Jan 13
ValCon888:


It is 'sick' not Isick but I'm sure you wouldn't know that since your brain is located in your anus.
For you not to know what typo error is, then there's no redemption for you
I could start picking your typo errors and wrong usage of grammar, but i wouldn't cos it's not worth it.

No need quoting me again.

1 Like

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by ValCon888(m): 10:20pm On Jan 13
Seandisputed:

For you not to know what typo error is, then there's no redemption for you
I could start picking your typo errors and wrong usage of grammar, but i wouldn't cos it's not worth it.

No need quoting me again.

Olodo!
Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by JhyMedex: 10:35pm On Jan 13
funmisticqueen:
thank you. If there is one thing nigerian doctors do better than our foreign counterparts, it is myomectomies. I have seen doctors remove up to 20kg fibroids. Whites dont see fibroid cases the way we do.

What op doesnt know is that of she gets pregnant with the fibroid in situ, she will most likely have a CS, that is if the baby survives till term
Preach Sis..Blacks r more susceptible to fibroids...dt makes it a procedure dt even an intern wil b well versed in..

Seriously d amt of misinformation goin around is alarming..d number of pple who lose their lives or develop life complicating complications frm d wrong info pple spew is disgusting..

It nids to stop ...

1 Like

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by BecaciaBarbie(f): 10:50pm On Jan 13
Mryacks:


God bless you for this...
Amennnn...
Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by babyfaceafrica: 11:11pm On Jan 13
Omoge87:
Hi all. I joined this forum because as a Qualified Midwife I can say that the Poster is a bit misinformed and I just had to say my bit. Having Fibroids does not mean she will not be able to have children. I have seen and cared for many clients that conceived with ease and they have fibroids. In most cases Fibroids shrinks in pregnancy as it gets starved of oxygen so it cannot grow. The women just have regular scans to assess throughout the pregnancy. Some have normal delivery, whilst some end up with c-section- it just depends where the Fibroid/Fibroids are.

Personally I don’t agree that she should get pregnant for you before marriage. I don’t think you are ready to marry her anyway. The fact is whoever you marry it is for better for worse. Your marriage appears to come with conditions and nobody knows their tomorrow. We only walk in Faith that our tomorrow will be ok. If you leave her today because of what you think she can or cannot do, what goes to say the ‘healthy’ woman you marry will be able to conceive. What if you may eventually be the problem? I have heard of many couples who have had unexplained infertility and these couples have remained together through it all. What if tomorrow you developed a medical condition- does it mean your girlfriend should also give you similar conditions ?

You don’t have sex with someone on Monday and expect them to get pregnant on Tuesday. Infertility is diagnosed after one year of a couple trying - before then they won’t even qualify for IVF.

If she does the surgery and they spoil her womb - will you marry her after that? Are you aware that even after surgery - Fibroids can grow back? Her choice to do the surgery or not and it is your choice to remain with her or not. Everything is a choice - but all choices have their consequences - good and bad.

Even if you choose to not marry your girlfriend- my advice to you for the future is you don’t just write someone off - you don’t know what your own situation is going to be like tomorrow.

My advice free her and let her go. Marriage is for better for worse - and right now she is in her worst and you appear to not be able to handle what may follow. Let her go.
nansense
Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by cooljuman: 4:01am On Jan 14
ceeceeuwa:

Take her for another medical examination since she claims to be fine after taking the trado medical treatment.

She don't want to go for further medical examination, she said all she wants is for us to get married, after that she'll be ready for any medical examination. Cos she said that she's ok cos of the herbal drugs.
Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by cdtg: 7:18am On Jan 14
cooljuman:


She don't want to go for further medical examination, she said all she wants is for us to get married, after that she'll be ready for any medical examination. Cos she said that she's ok cos of the herbal drugs.

Tell her that you need a doctor to confirm that she is now truelly ok.That if she really believes she is ok, she should have no problem with that.

Don't mind what the doctors here are saying about the agbo. There are powerful. herbal drugs out there.
Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by ceeceeuwa: 9:41am On Jan 14
cooljuman:


She don't want to go for further medical examination, she said all she wants is for us to get married, after that she'll be ready for any medical examination. Cos she said that she's ok cos of the herbal drugs.
How does she know she is ok without medical examination? If you too can be having disagreements at this stage over issues that can easily be trashed, be prepared to have greater challenges in marriage. Maybe you should get someone she greatly respects to talk to her. Wishing you all the best!

1 Like

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by Kelklein(m): 10:14pm On Jan 14
oluwafreshkid:


Please explain
What procedure the she undergo?
What's the name of the hospital you went?
Please what type of fibroid did she have?
Please quote me with your answers
Sorry if I'm asking too much
The operation is called Myomectomy (surgical removal of part of the muscles of the uterus - the fibroid mass is embedded inside these muscles)

The operation was carried out in National Hospital Abuja.. but you can get good doctors in any of the Federal Medical Centres close to you.

But I must ask is she having very painful, heavy and long periods (menses) that can last for up to 7days. Ask her these questions. These are signs of fibroids that can threaten fertility. But if these signs are not there, then there is nothing to worry about..she can have normal births. Over 80% of women carry fibroid and still go ahead with normal childbirth if the size and positioning of the fibroid do not threaten the child and the passage of fluid.
Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by mikkyjagga1(m): 2:46am On Jan 15
if she doesn't want further medical help now then shes stubborn and can pose a problem in the future.
I married a lady I loved though she developed a medical issue that could be managed, unfortunately she died less than one year after marriage, as for me I wont risk marrying anyone with a known health issue, love is never enough.
I am not trying to scare you but the best decision might be the hardest, if I were in your shoes I will leave the relationship.
Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by virago(f): 3:32am On Jan 15
BecaciaBarbie:
Are you a Christian? If you are why would you support premarital sex not to talk more of getting pregnant before marriage. Any lady that falls for this getting pregnant first in this 21st century is nothing but a big fool! People change, promises are broken, things happen but then it would have been too late for you.

You either marry her because you love her and ready to go through the storm with her or you let her be. Do you guys think everyone got the thick skin to go for surgery? Many panick as they could lose their lives in the process, so it is not an easy decision and you need to understand her.


In the western world, I'm sure this wouldn't even be a problem, but I understand you as well. You should also note that, not all healthy women out there are able to conceive.




Please don't be an a55 , why did she take the money when she knew she won't do the surgery. Since she is not ready to do the surgery the only option left for the guy is for her to get pregnant since he doesn't believe in all these herbal cures ( neither do I ). She has 2 options , she either goes for the surgery and then they can get married without getting pregnant first or since she doesn't want to go for the surgery then she gets pregnant first , she can not come and trap the boy.
Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by Bidobado1: 3:43am On Jan 15
cooljuman:
We have been dating for more than 2 year, but in 2018 she went for a scan and found out that she has fibroid and hormonal imbalance and that it could hinder pregnancy. Doctors advice that she go for surgery in order for her not to have complications with pregnancy. I gave her more than half the cost of the surgery which she agreed to go for. Same day she said she's not going for the surgery again until she gets married. She started taking herbal medicine that it will reduce the size of the fibroid and that way she will be able to get pregnant even without surgery and she also took drugs for the hormonal imbalance. after some months the size of her stomach reduced cos initially it was bigger than normal. Late last year we started having disagreement as regards marriage. She wants us to get married but I'm reluctant cos of her medical condition knowing she didn't go for the surgery and not sure if she's going to find it difficult getting pregnant after marriage. So I asked her to get pregnant before we get married and the once she get pregnant I will marry her, but she said she's not getting pregnant unti we're married. again, I'm working and earns in six figures. She said she don't want to get pregnant and that she's not going for surgery until we're married. I love her and will like to get married to her but the medical condition is putting me off. What if am right and what if am wrong. We've not talked to each other for two weeks now and we've not seen either. Doctors in the house i need advice please

That asshole is playing games with you.
But hold on, why are Nigerian women so dishonest?

(1) (2) (3) (4) (Reply)

Don't Some Guys Know Their Class? / Post For Virgin Ladies ONLY / Did I Fall In Love With The Wrong Person? Pls Advise!

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (0) (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2019 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 220
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.