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I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having - Romance - Nairaland

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I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by cooljuman: 9:16pm On Jan 12
We have been dating for more than 2 year, but in 2018 she went for a scan and found out that she has fibroid and hormonal imbalance and that it could hinder pregnancy. Doctors advice that she go for surgery in order for her not to have complications with pregnancy. I gave her more than half the cost of the surgery which she agreed to go for. Same day she said she's not going for the surgery again until she gets married. She started taking herbal medicine that it will reduce the size of the fibroid and that way she will be able to get pregnant even without surgery and she also took drugs for the hormonal imbalance. after some months the size of her stomach reduced cos initially it was bigger than normal. Late last year we started having disagreement as regards marriage. She wants us to get married but I'm reluctant cos of her medical condition knowing she didn't go for the surgery and not sure if she's going to find it difficult getting pregnant after marriage. So I asked her to get pregnant before we get married and the once she get pregnant I will marry her, but she said she's not getting pregnant unti we're married. again, I'm working and earns in six figures. She said she don't want to get pregnant and that she's not going for surgery until we're married. I love her and will like to get married to her but the medical condition is putting me off. What if am right and what if am wrong. We've not talked to each other for two weeks now and we've not seen either. Doctors in the house i need advice please
Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by banjicom(m): 9:21pm On Jan 12
bro stand your ground and make sure she get pregnant b4 u marry her o.

what else does she want again..........she is only giving u a lame excuse, maybe there is something else she isn't telling u.

39 Likes

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by Ewilonco: 9:21pm On Jan 12
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Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by Amakavula: 9:26pm On Jan 12
Don't marry her. Dont give in to blackmail. Usually I would have supported a fellow sister but since you stated you had given her half the money for surgery but she isn't doing something about is quite worrying.

It's obvious you want children but she isn't God, talk to her about your preference, hold her hand and show her things in your way. And on how important a child is, to you.

My Dad always says ,"Nne marriage is problem multiply" every fight , every problem , ever little differece gets multipled. children are a deal breaker, risking it isn't wise, but if she isn't getting pregnant due to religious reasons, then you should go different ways.

Marriage is a complicated situation, you can't agree on something as simple as a baby chances are this will split you after marriage ?

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Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by samysmoothfresh: 9:28pm On Jan 12
Oga, i only have one question for you.


You collect the money wey you give her for the surgery back after she tell you say she no want surgery but want dey drink agbo(herbal medcine)?

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Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by PenlsCaP: 9:32pm On Jan 12
Stand on ur ground.. It's either she go for the surgery or get pregnant.
That's if she ain't hiding anything

She has a medical condition that requires surgery so why is she running away?

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Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by Martinez19(m): 9:33pm On Jan 12
Lol. Man up my friend, tell her to use the money you gave her for surgery or she should forget about the relationship because you have no trust in herbal medicine. After the surgery, do a medical check up on her. Either she accepts it or move out of the relationship.

Besides, suppose that she had an accident and it affected her womb, will you still marry her?

1 Like

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by Martinez19(m): 9:34pm On Jan 12
samysmoothfresh:
Oga, i only have one question for you.


You collect the money wey you give her for the surgery back after she tell you say she no want surgery but want dey drink agbo(herbal medcine)?
grin Op come and answer.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by ValCon888(m): 9:34pm On Jan 12
You don't need a doctor, you need a counsellor and this is what i have to tell you;

When you were fvcking her constantly for 2 whole years it was sweeting you abi? Even with the big stomach you were still lashing her mercilessly.

Now you know she has fibroid and hormonal imbalance you want to dump her.

Dump her for who if i may ask?

21 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by cooljuman: 9:38pm On Jan 12
samysmoothfresh:
Oga, i only have one question for you.


You collect the money wey you give her for the surgery back after she tell you say she no want surgery but want dey drink agbo(herbal medcine)?
No i didn't collect the money back. I left it with her. I really didn't need it. I just wanted her to solve the problem.

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Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by jasonguru: 9:40pm On Jan 12
The surest cure for fibroid is laproscopy or surgery, Ayam not understanding the one of herbal medicine

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Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by samysmoothfresh: 9:41pm On Jan 12
cooljuman:

No i didn't collect the money back. I left it with her. I really didn't need it. I just wanted her to solve the problem.

........and now you've discovered she doesnt want the surgery. In other words, she doesnt want help.


Dont be offended, but I have another question for you.


What do you think you should do?

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Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by Auladimeji1: 9:44pm On Jan 12
I'm here to tell you not to listen to any comments from Nairaland ladies,They love supporting rubbish. Majorities are devil.That's all

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Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by cooljuman: 9:48pm On Jan 12
ValCon888:

You don't need a doctor, you need a counsellor and this is what i have to tell you;

When you were fvcking her constantly for 2 whole years it was sweeting you abi? Even with the big stomach you were still lashing her mercilessly.

Now you know she has fibroid and hormonal imbalance you want to dump her.

Dump her for who if i may ask?

I don't want to dump her, I just wanted her to solve the problem. Everybody have expectations and I want children from my marriage. Is fvckingg a woman now the ground for marriage? Is bleeping now enough to trade everything?

1 Like

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by Paxie55(f): 9:49pm On Jan 12
Guys eehn, when it comes to a woman's health issue they will disappear, but will encourage ladies to marry them, even in their stricken broken state.

As for the lady, I wonder why she's playing with her health issues.
Why is she afraid to go for surgery? Well, sister wouldn't want that she did the surgery and lost her womb or something( ignorance, maybe)

She doesn't wanna get pregnant cos she thinks you won't wife her if you impregnate her( trust issues, due to many fvxk boys, but at this stage of the relationship, she ought to have trusted you by now)

I would say, you should give her reasons why you would want her do the surgery, and be plain about it without fear of prejudice.

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Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by CAPSLOCKED: 9:51pm On Jan 12
Auladimeji1:
I'm here to tell you not to listen to any comments from Nairaland ladies,They love supporting rubbish. Majorities are devil.That's all

NA SO.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by ValCon888(m): 9:52pm On Jan 12
[quote author=cooljuman post=74704963][/quote]

She wants to solve the problem too. But only when you guys are married.

What's wrong with that?

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by cooljuman: 9:58pm On Jan 12
[quote author=samysmoothfresh post=74704752]

........and now you've discovered she doesnt want the surgery. In other words, she doesnt want help.


Dont be offended, but I have another question for you.


What do you think you should do?[/quote

Well, as it stands there's nothing I can say to convince her to either accept pregnancy or surgery. Last time argued she said am using her, so I just want to stay away from her for awhile and if the situation don't change, I'll have to move on with my life. Yes I may be wrong or right. Let it be my loss.

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Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by mezarddinny: 10:13pm On Jan 12
wetin carry you go date girl wey get big belle sef?

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by Newboss(m): 10:30pm On Jan 12
Just go for another scan let the doctor let you guys know her current status. There could have been positive changes from the herbal stuff grin

There is no problem here grin

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by united442: 11:12pm On Jan 12
ValCon888:

You don't need a doctor, you need a counsellor and this is what i have to tell you;

When you were fvcking her constantly for 2 whole years it was sweeting you abi? Even with the big stomach you were still lashing her mercilessly.

Now you know she has fibroid and hormonal imbalance you want to dump her.

Dump her for who if i may ask?



hahahahhaa...kukuma kill naa...
which one is "lashing her mercilessly"?
hehehehehe..ur mouth no good atall!
Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by bigpicture001: 11:24pm On Jan 12
95% of ladies who underwent surgery to get rid of fibroid usually do not conceive again...

Sh is very right in her fears of the after effect of the surgery. Doctors will pet u into doing it nd leave to God with the consequences.

Plz try understand her. My elder sis is now 9 years after same surgery without being able to conceive again..

U guys should luk for hospitals where foreign doctors com for humanitarian surgery expose'. That is ur best chance of a rather successful surgrey

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Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by marvin906(m): 11:25pm On Jan 12
I might understand where she's coming from..
I believe she's afraid of unforseen complications during the surgery maybe destruction of her womb which might make you dump her..
Buh you have make her understand that is her health she's putting at risk just because of fear..
Can't believe am saying this buh dude stand by her
If you where in her shoes you will do the same and please find a specialist in this case

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by Seandisputed(m): 11:33pm On Jan 12
ValCon888:

You don't need a doctor, you need a counsellor and this is what i have to tell you;

When you were fvcking her constantly for 2 whole years it was sweeting you abi? Even with the big stomach you were still lashing her mercilessly.

Now you know she has fibroid and hormonal imbalance you want to dump her.

Dump her for who if i may ask?


People like you who think women do men favour by sleeping with them are just sick in the head.

13 Likes

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by Kelklein(m): 11:44pm On Jan 12
I had a firsthand experience of what you are going through.. But in my own case we found out after the marriage, and after three years of childlessness.


She eventually went for the surgery and it wasn't as bad as we thought (also maybe because we went to a very good hospital - this is very important - do not patronize non-professional O&G surgeons for Fibroid removal operation also known as myomectomy).

My wife has two kids now.... So I will advise you personally take her to a good hospital for the operation. Tell the doctor to help convince her to go for the operation. Tell her to do it if she cherishes the relationship and give all the support you can..

Get your parents or hers involved if you have to.

17 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by BareFacedLies: 12:27am On Jan 13
I think you should stand your ground
Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by EVILFOREST: 12:35am On Jan 13
cooljuman:
We have been dating for more than 2 year, but in 2018 she went for a scan and found out that she has fibroid and hormonal imbalance and that it could hinder pregnancy. Doctors advice that she go for surgery in order for her not to have complications with pregnancy. I gave her more than half the cost of the surgery which she agreed to go for. Same day she said she's not going for the surgery again until she gets married. She started taking herbal medicine that it will reduce the size of the fibroid and that way she will be able to get pregnant even without surgery and she also took drugs for the hormonal imbalance. after some months the size of her stomach reduced cos initially it was bigger than normal. Late last year we started having disagreement as regards marriage. She wants us to get married but I'm reluctant cos of her medical condition knowing she didn't go for the surgery and not sure if she's going to find it difficult getting pregnant after marriage. So I asked her to get pregnant before we get married and the once she get pregnant I will marry her, but she said she's not getting pregnant unti we're married. again, I'm working and earns in six figures. She said she don't want to get pregnant and that she's not going for surgery until we're married. I love her and will like to get married to her but the medical condition is putting me off. What if am right and what if am wrong. We've not talked to each other for two weeks now and we've not seen either. Doctors in the house i need advice please
RUN as fast as your 3 LEGS can carry you now.
It’s a Miracle you have found out already.
No one sees FIRE and still steps in.

If that same LADY was told that you have an ED ( ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION) what do you think she would have done...??
Let’s be frank...
PLEASE move on.
You don’t need Medical Doctors’ opinion here.
If u still insist, don’t rush down to NAIRALAND requesting for treatment options

Thank U

4 Likes

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by cooljuman: 1:05am On Jan 13
bigpicture001:
95% of ladies who underwent surgery to get rid of fibroid usually do not conceive again...

Sh is very right in her fears of the after effect of the surgery. Doctors will pet u into doing it nd leave to God with the consequences.

Plz try understand her. My elder sis is now 9 years after same surgery without being able to conceive again..

U guys should luk for hospitals where foreign doctors com for humanitarian surgery expose'. That is ur best chance of a rather successful surgrey

She said she's ok after taking the herbal drugs several months, so what stops her from agreeing to get pregnant so we can get married. Am not forcing her to go for surgery, all I want it lets try pregnancy then we get married. It will reduce my fears.

1 Like

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by cooljuman: 1:11am On Jan 13
marvin906:
I might understand where she's coming from..
I believe she's afraid of unforseen complications during the surgery maybe destruction of her womb which might make you dump her..
Buh you have make her understand that is her health she's putting at risk just because of fear..
Can't believe am saying this buh dude stand by her
If you where in her shoes you will do the same and please find a specialist in this case


For a year now I've been pleading with her to go for the surgery but she's only talking of getting married before surgery. It's her health we're talking about and she's talking about marriage. She's telling me that I want to put her life at risk by asking her to go for surgery, well since she doesn't want to go for surgery then I need pregnancy before marriage.
Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by BecaciaBarbie(f): 1:13am On Jan 13
Are you a Christian? If you are why would you support premarital sex not to talk more of getting pregnant before marriage. Any lady that falls for this getting pregnant first in this 21st century is nothing but a big fool! People change, promises are broken, things happen but then it would have been too late for you.

You either marry her because you love her and ready to go through the storm with her or you let her be. Do you guys think everyone got the thick skin to go for surgery? Many panick as they could lose their lives in the process, so it is not an easy decision and you need to understand her.


In the western world, I'm sure this wouldn't even be a problem, but I understand you as well. You should also note that, not all healthy women out there are able to conceive.

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Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by ValCon888(m): 1:51am On Jan 13
Seandisputed:

People like you who think women do men favour by sleeping with them are just sick in the head.

Thank you very much. Its only you, only you in the whole wide world that has a well in his head.

2 Likes

Re: I Want To Get Married To My Fiance But Her Medical Condition Is Making Me Having by bigpicture001: 2:04am On Jan 13
cooljuman:


She said she's ok after taking the herbal drugs several months, so what stops her from agreeing to get pregnant so we can get married. Am not forcing her to go for surgery, all I want it lets try pregnancy then we get married. It will reduce my fears.


Only 1 in 70 successfully give birth with evidence of developed fibroid in them. If she takes in,btw 3 to 4 months sh will miscarry. And it will not be the normal type. It the blood will gush so.much sh myt need hospital equipment to be alive.

Sh just doesn't know that herbal doesn't solve anything.

Plz try to get that this is her health. So sh will be a scared of life and death. Fibroid is scarcely dangerous till you go wake it with esp pregnancy.

You guyz should not argue much,you guyz need more talk and trust.

Only this kinda of surgery with these white ppl will giv her peace of mind.

For you,ur too harsh and too direct with take it or leave it approach. Find another way to communicate. What about you jilting her even after the pregnancy..?

A supposedly poor well behaved man usually believes he is not a womaniser. Wait until he makes his millions b4 u can categorise him. Same thing for you,if u get him.pregnant the. Whole ball now resides on your court,then she would be at your mercy. Then you might be tempted to act otherwise.

We never know ourself, till we are totally in charge!

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