Nene05:


If he showed me affection then we would be fine.


Maybe I will give him a deadline and let him know if nothing changes by xyz then just so you know I will be getting to know other men.
And rather than him finding out will let him know before hand.

Looks like you know exactly what the problem is but you are just being an undisciplined woman looking for validation from either social media or faceless forums without doing the hard work of addressing the actual issue on ground with your husband.

We Also haven't heard his side of the story.
But I've heard enough to know that he is feeling used. Making him go and slave for you outside to bring money to you comfortable sitting down at home.

Your talk of Visa means you are in a country where the cost of living has inflated to accommodate feminism. These countries have things set up in such a way that both couples have to work as opposed to back in the day when one person could take that helm. Being that he has a temp Visa, I doubt he has a high career paying job and can only work for nuggets... So you are basically being a slave driver if you want to leave all financial burdens to him.

As you have said, he has told you the issue, but you have chosen to ignore it like a typical annoying female... Choosing to focus on "how you don't like experiencing the consequences of your inaction" as opposed to working out a logical solution with the guy.

2buffagain:


Looks like you know exactly what the problem is but you are just being an undisciplined woman looking for validation from either social media or faceless forums without doing the hard work of addressing the actual issue on ground with your husband.

We Also haven't heard his side of the story.
But I've heard enough to know that he is feeling used. Making him go and slave for you outside to bring money to you comfortable sitting down at home.

Your talk of Visa means you are in a country where the cost of living has inflated to accommodate feminism. These countries have things set up in such a way that both couples have to work as opposed to back in the day when one person could take that helm. Being that he has a temp Visa, I doubt he has a high career paying job and can only work for nuggets... So you are basically being a slave driver if you want to leave all financial burdens to him.

As you have said, he has told you the issue, but you have chosen to ignore it like a typical annoying female... Choosing to focus on "how you don't like experiencing the consequences of your inaction" as opposed to working out a logical solution with the guy.

This is not true
The cost of child care is expensive takes most of one wage.

We live somewhere he can afford.
If he lived alone would have to pay same bills.
Only with 24/7 live in maid service.

If the living costs your saying move somewhere cheaper manage with one car believe me it is doable.
If 2 incomes coming in who will take care of the home?

Also people I know who both work the guy sends most of his wage home etc. ... so you can afford all of this but not basic living.

Also when he first came he couldn't work and I took care of everything if I managed as a woman what's wrong with him.

He always talks about he's provider and prefers submissive woman.

He admitted likes the benefits of this and that most woman not interested in catering to a man

Also I don't support or agree with feminism we both agree this breaks up families not healthy.

Been in the work force makes woman too masculine not feminine.

If he wanted me to work he'd ask.
Also he is aware our home would be neglected no laundry, lunches prepared for work, breakfast on table, vacuum cleaning etc. ..

It would all be stopping if I ever returned back to work.
So would say to him I can support financially but do nothing else or do everything expect contribute to finances.

I'm hoping for us to start a family and I could work as a baby sitter from home.

[quote author=2buffagain post=75021929]

Looks like you know exactly what the problem is but you are just being an undisciplined woman looking for validation from either social media or faceless forums without doing the hard work of addressing the actual issue on ground with your husband.

We Also haven't heard his side of the story.
But I've heard enough to know that he is feeling used. Making him go and slave for you outside to bring money to you comfortable sitting down at home.

Your talk of Visa means you are in a country where the cost of living has inflated to accommodate feminism. These countries have things set up in such a way that both couples have to work as opposed to back in the day when one person could take that helm. Being that he has a temp Visa, I doubt he has a high career paying job and can only work for nuggets... So you are basically being a slave driver if you want to leave all financial burdens to him.

Remember he's getting his visa and a supportive wife.
This is give and take.

Why should I work work work then he leaves once it comes through? ?

Nene05:


This is not true
The cost of child care is expensive takes most of one wage.

We live somewhere he can afford.
If he lived alone would have to pay same bills.
Only with 24/7 live in maid service.

If the living costs your saying move somewhere cheaper manage with one car believe me it is doable.
If 2 incomes coming in who will take care of the home?

Also people I know who both work the guy sends most of his wage home etc. ... so you can afford all of this but not basic living.

Also when he first came he couldn't work and I took care of everything if I managed as a woman what's wrong with him.

He always talks about he's provider and prefers submissive woman.

He admitted likes the benefits of this and that most woman not interested in catering to a man

Is that his child or yours?.....

well, OP after carefully reading your post and your replies that follows the comments, i stand to tell you that you actually know what the problem is, but you just don't want to repent, its in an adage of Africans that a lady that is not submissive will not get any love or attention from her husband or lover.
judging by your replies so far, you are not submissive, you are proud and arrogant.
with the look of things, i might not be far from the truth if i assume you were probably the one who wanted to punish him first with NO SEX.
why on earth, will you quit your job when you have no disability?
you probably did that so that you will punish him even more by subjecting him to pay the bills alone, but you came here saying its because you want to settle down and raise a family, does working prevent one from raising a family?

Nene05:


He's got more than a decade to wait.
I sponsored to get him here now can no longer sponsor him.
He doesn't leave the country without me.

I have made the situation to benefit me.

He's not in a position to support anyone else I deliberately don't make an income for this very reason.

I'm not unintelligent.

Well there you go.
So you already know your problem.

Like I said, You are just here looking for pointless validation. You won't get any.

This thread title might as well be "Why is my slave not working fast enough?!!"

And you still haven't answered my earlier question of WHOSE child that is that you were using as an argument point in savings i.e childcare fees.
I'm guessing the child isn't even his.

Now I don't know what arrangement you 2 had before engaging each other in this manner, but it is clear the whole thing is like a business deal.
So I don't get why you still feel this same slave individual would want to have sex with you...

[quote author=Nene05 post=75022051][/quote]
my suggestions:
since all you wanted was intimacy and u want a family:
1. prepare him an aphrodisiac meal.
2. use Love Machine or intimacy gadget to entice while u r bare nude.
ensure no clothes on, then oils on the essential parts of ur body that stimulates his brain: your boobs, laps, bum, ur lips.
3. suck his dick while he is asleep about the early hours of the morning.
4. encourage him that u know what he needs and that u r praying for him to get the visa after sucking his dick he will definitely wants to sex.
5. massage his body, stroke his dick with virgin oil.
6. invite a nephew to hang around, but entice him every night for sex. Like magic, he will avoid the beer, come home early, he will be jealous.
warning: having a broken home is not the solution, he might be testing you, due to reports he hears about u then you will affirm his suspicion by having sex outside your legal marriage, then he will gladly divorce for another woman, who has promised him visa based on marrying her..so guard ur man..so many hungry girls out there in Britain dolling out free sex in return for a benefit...seduce him more, actively seduce him, suck his penis.

Don't play yourself woman, as someone said you are slaving that man.

(1)He is tired of your pūssy.

(2)You are an akata, and no one misbehaves to an akata especially when he knows his stay in the UK is temporary.

(3)So the man is just tolerating you.

(4)And at 32 you already know not every man you meet is gonna want to commit to you and marry you, they just want to fūck you and leave.

(5)So that's why you still want things to work out between you and your slave, but it's far fetched.

The only solution is cancel your arrangement with him and hope you get another man, that's if it doesn't take you 10 years to get.


OR


Just be fūcking dickks around and don't tell him(that open marriage thingy).

op that advice is misleading

oyetpel:
Don't play yourself woman, as someone said you are slaving that man.

(1)He is tired of your pūssy.

(2)You are an akata, and no one misbehaves to an akata especially when he knows his stay in the UK is temporary.

(3)So the man is just tolerating you.

(4)And at 32 you already know not every man you meet is gonna want to commit to you and marry you, they just want to fūck you and leave.

(5)So that's why you still want things to work out between you and your slave, but it's far fetched.

The only solution is cancel your arrangement with him and hope you get another man, that's if it doesn't take you 10 years to get.


OR


Just be fūcking dickks around and don't tell him(that open marriage thingy).

pls don't take this

Op knows where the problem is coming from, she’s just looking for validation on a faceless forum,go back to your job and stop all this I cook,clean and iron for him. Those shits ain’t going to pay the bills, you have to support that man financially before he can ever think of having any intimacy with you, go sort your problem yourself, you planned all this out from the word go, all you wanted was a slave

He doesn't have to be here its a choice.
I'm happy to start family immediately

We are both traditional in this sense before we married he knew this.

He can stay or leave free world.

2buffagain:


Is that his child or yours?.....

Will be OUR child neither of us have any kids

PharoahIII:
[color=#006600][/color]



I suspect you're the type that uses visa as a weapon, a tool to subjugate and dominate a man. He doesn't love you and I see reasons with him. You call yourself intelligent because you've been able to use his dependency on you for a visa to your advantage? You are the biggest fool in the world, you can eat your passport. I can tell you're the type that will even call the home office if he does something wrong. If he was Black British or perhaps wasn't dependent on you for a visa will you have the temerity to misbehave?
My advice to all men: Never ever trust a woman, a man that uses a woman as his head-pad to carry his load should know he's carrying his load on his bare head. To the wannabe jandos, this is what awaits you when you go abroad. Better remain in Nigeria jeje o before one idiot will trample not only on your rights but your manhood all in the name of visa. No be beans

Although your comment is needlessly laced with blistering odium and unnecessary expletives, this post, just as you aptly noted, should serve as an eye-opener to some guys here obsessed with white women. The grass is not always green on the other side.

However, this does not mean that I align with you in placing blame on the women for using visa as a tool of control. We don't have all the details, but from her explanation, I see someone eager to make her marriage work. We must admit that this issue is common with Africans, especially Nigerians, who always want to have their cake and eat it.

2buffagain:


Well there you go.
So you already know your problem.

Like I said, You are just here looking for pointless validation. You won't get any.

This thread title might as well be "Why is my slave not working fast enough?!!"

And you still haven't answered my earlier question of WHOSE child that is that you were using as an argument point in savings i.e childcare fees.
I'm guessing the child isn't even his.

Now I don't know what arrangement you 2 had before engaging each other in this manner, but it is clear the whole thing is like a business deal.
So I don't get why you still feel this same slave individual would want to have sex with you...

Our own children we have no kids yet

why do i have the feeling the op is fake
u said ur a British citizen but your English doesn't look British and the words are mostly incorrect

but if ur real then ur hubbys problem could be that he is gay

Nene05:



All I have to do is leave the house and notify them we not living together.
Terms that you live with your spouse or you in breech of your visa.

So boom a giant hole when he applies for Flr and gets declined as visa rules breached.

lol you know what tell him you want to visit his parents this easter and see his reaction. If he hesitates and then agrees know that it is a red flag.

klenton:
why do i have the feeling the op is fake
u said ur a British citizen but your English doesn't look British and the words are mostly incorrect

but if ur real then ur hubbys problem could be that he is gay

Being British doesn't necessarily mean her written English will be flawless and standard. We have a lot of people whose parents are migrants from non English speaking countries, who are nonetheless British citizens. It is clear in the poster's case, she is British by birth or residency, not by culture.

Triniti:
Op knows where the problem is coming from, she’s just looking for validation on a faceless forum,go back to your job and stop all this I cook,clean and iron for him. Those shits ain’t going to pay the bills, you have to support that man financially before he can ever think of having any intimacy with you, go sort your problem yourself, you planned all this out from the word go, all you wanted was a slave

who's going to keep the home together? He refuses to do any house work says this is woman's job -refuses to cook etc

If it's just left he's not happy with unorganised house.
And buy the way there is money left over each month.

If I have to do the man's job AND women's Job may as well be single.

It's a team- you provide and I do everything
I'm not like one of those over weight women who's house is a mess no food on table no exercise etc. ..

Nene05:


My hygiene is 100
I have other men who want to bed me but trying to work my marriage out.

I think he's not happy I left my job -just thought he would come here get his permanent residency and that's it.
However always told him I'm traditional believe that man should provide and I cater to him.

When I was working he didn't help with any housework and said I was controlling.

Now I'm submissive and calm he likes that but not providing sex

you put man in a cage and you expect his diick to get hard for you and how come you have other men that want to bed you..look you are cheating already so,let that diick penetrate already..nansense!!!

Nene05:


who's going to keep the home together? He refuses to do any house work says this is woman's job -refuses to cook etc

If it's just left he's not happy with unorganised house.
And buy the way there is money left over each month.

If I have to do the man's job AND women's Job may as well be single.

It's a team- you provide and I do everything
I'm not like one of those over weight women who's house is a mess no food on table no exercise etc. ..

the middle already itching youwhy not get a maid and then the both of you can work..look you have the answers to all your questions..why are you disturbing us...get ajob and work and make him happy or go and cheat like your already doing

Nene05:


He's got more than a decade to wait.
I sponsored to get him here now can no longer sponsor him.
He doesn't leave the country without me.

I have made the situation to benefit me.

He's not in a position to support anyone else I deliberately don't make an income for this very reason.

I'm not intelligent.

smh you cage a man and you expect him to be happy..i swear hes just counting the days when hes gonna leave you and move on with his life..you are not smart at all and you are truly not intelligent..just imagine you made the situation benefit you and not him..how about 50-50...this is so selfish of you.am done

Triniti:
Op knows where the problem is coming from, she’s just looking for validation on a faceless forum,go back to your job and stop all this I cook,clean and iron for him. Those shits ain’t going to pay the bills, you have to support that man financially before he can ever think of having any intimacy with you, go sort your problem yourself, you planned all this out from the word go, all you wanted was a slave

more blessing to you!

Nene05:


He's a type of guy who keeps himself to himself.
Most of his friends and family are in Nigeria.

And yes no sex or affection in 7 months.
I'm affectionate person even hugs and kisses like from my parents.

and your not sure if theres a woman out der his seeing?

what do you really intend doing about all of these?

[color=#006600][/color]

mrblessed:
Being British doesn't necessarily mean her written English will be flawless and standard. We have a lot of people whose parents are migrants from non English speaking countries, who are nonetheless British citizens. It is clear in the poster's case, she is British by birth or residency, not by culture.

Firstly you should know that a vast majority of British people can't spell, even the so-called educated ones. They also do not speak proper English, only very few of them (less than 5% I would say) speak the received pronunciation, and the only way you can do that is to go to a public school, which is prohibitively expensive.

pacificman:



the middle already itching youwhy not get a maid and then the both of you can work..look you have the answers to all your questions..why are you disturbing us...get ajob and work and make him happy or go and cheat like your already doing

I am the "maid" lol also have at home business
I am his wife not his mother or his boss and certainly NOT his room mate.

If a man wants a woman to share bills he should get a house mate or even better another man to both work work work.

He only pays what he would if he lived alone.


He is a MAN not a boy

pacificman:


smh you cage a man and you expect him to be happy..i swear hes just counting the days when hes gonna leave you and move on with his life..you are not smart at all and you are truly not intelligent..just imagine you made the situation benefit you and not him..how about 50-50...this is so selfish of you.am done

It does benefit him he gets residency

Nene05:
Lack of sex and intimacy in a relationship-

Is it ever ok to seek out another person if your boyfriend or husband doesn't show you any affection no cuddle /kisses nothing or says they are tired and unwilling to engage in ANY intimacy? Ongoing long term?

What would you do in this situation? ? We are recently married my husband is from Nigeria I'm British citizen.

Why was this not raised I BEFORE the marriage?
Makes no ounce of sense

MissRaine69:

Why was this not raised I BEFORE the marriage?
Makes no ounce of sense

Before we got married all was ok