opejulie10:



how did I make my home a place of war??by correcting him about coming home late,or not attending to his kids life anymore,or by cautioning him about visiting beer palor or drinking so bad that he vomits everywhere in the house.... I should have just left him and not say a word because I want peace to reign

opejulie10:



Thanks a lot...we learn everyday
I am not trouble some, my husband would have sent me packing because he doesn't rubbish and I grew up under a submissive mum, I have only learnt I can't keep my husband to myself, others too have to share him right

Uyi168:
No matter the situation, people will always finds ways to blame the woman...
SMH..

davidflipcy5856:
Accusing your husband to be a gay is a serious issue. You even said it to his face that's too much to say. I think your hubby might be having an extra marital affairs not with his friend but through the influence of his friend. It explains your husband change of behavior. You stated his friend keeps many gfs so we can't rule that out.

For the way out, first you have to apologize to him. You know him better than any one here so you should know how to draw him back. After he must have forgiven you, you guys should discuss concerning his friend staying in your house . You can't discuss this when he is still mad at you. Personally, I wont entertain visitors more than 2weeks in my house. Find a way to tell your hubby so his friend could find another place to stay. There will be more trouble if he keeps staying with you guys and it's very obvious you are not comfortable with him staying.

dollytino4real:
pls face ur lane n leave ur man to his own, play with ur kids n ur phone. he will be jealous once he sees u don't worry about him as u use to

opejulie10:



how did I make my home a place of war??by correcting him about coming home late, or not attending to his kids life anymore,or by cautioning him about visiting beer palor or drinking so bad that he vomits everywhere in the house.... I should have just left him and not say a word because I want peace to reign

UjuJoan2:


Your suspicions that he may be gay, based on what you just described is completely unfounded. Except there's something you are not saying.

Even if the guy was his lover, do you think he would be stupid enough to bring him into his matrimonial home?

Wisdom is profitable!

crackhaus:

Lol

You're just being jealous. This is cute by the way, your husband shouldn't even be this mad at you. If I were to be in his shoes, i would be laughing at you.

Okay seriously now, you know what usually works?
I tell my friends, just say exactly how you're feeling instead of reacting and making a blunder (like you did twice).
Tell the father of your kids that you're jealous and you miss him and the time you used to spend together. Also apologize for the gay comment and the call you made to his friend.

crackhaus:

You don't have to exaggerate to earn the sympathy of your readers.

LadySarah:


sorry ma but this mind yout biz tactic hardly works

opejulie10:



exaggerating doesn't add a Kobo to my account not sympathy from readers,these is the only place I can share this and I don't have friends I talk to about what is happening in my home

Uyi168:
No matter the situation, people will always finds ways to blame the woman...
SMH..

LadySarah:


You are right to need his attention and to be preinformed if there will be an additional roomate.

whatever precedence yoi set today will influence what goes on fro now.Dont beg him

Make sure the stupid mofo doesnt come back anymore,let hell loose.If he had common sense,he would encoursge your husby to go bond with you when you are around.

His anger wil cool and then he will come around nd communicate.Thats what two adults in a rshp do.

LadySarah:


You are right to need his attention and to be preinformed if there will be an additional roomate.

whatever precedence yoi set today will influence what goes on fro now.Dont beg him

Make sure the stupid mofo doesnt come back anymore,let hell loose.If he had common sense,he would encoursge your husby to go bond with you when you are around.

His anger wil cool and then he will come around nd communicate.Thats what two adults in a rshp do.

chiwex:
watch WAR ROOM

opejulie10:


what do I want to do again,my dad scolded me and I went to him tonight to apologize for calling him gay, infact he closed his ears with his two hands and still shooed me away... what have I done wrong?is it wrong I love my husband or I have as my best friend,is it wrong I scolded him?is it wrong I corrected him,it hurts so much,I am weak,and I break down easily emotionally, I feel like running away from all this...God,I am tired,I am so tired, if I knew I wouldn't have married so early..... I would have had some friends so I can confided in and not hurt this much....thank you so much nairalanders you have been of great help...

opejulie10:



like what... I have not done anything... I don't usually react to stuff unless I study it, I have complained times without number and he keeps promising to change... I am tired,is it wrong trying to fight for my husband attention??

opejulie10:



Thanks, I will do this#crying#, never knew a day like this would come in my marriage when my husband will neglect me because of a friend, I think it's high time I start making friends too,he is my only friend and hurts so much to see your best friend having other friends.

luckygeee:

Home breaker spotted, pls op, don't let them spoil ur home with such advice. This kind of person is probably single at an old age or unhappy in marriage and would want u to be like her. Pls I know what I am saying. Two wrongs does not make a right and harsh confrontation may not always be right. If ure jealous of sharing his attention, let him no in a subtle way, any man will feel good to hear such words from a wife

opejulie10:
nairalanders, I am confused and this is the last place I would ever think I would bring my family issues.. I have been married to my husband for 8 yrs with 2kids..he has been caring and all sort..

The problem started 6 months ago when he brought in his friend without informing me to leave with us cos of the distance from work to his home, along the line,I noticed my husband started coming home late, like past 12am,1am or even 2am,he doesn't bother calling me when he is at work, I do the calling and I kept complaining he apologizes and he continues again.
whenever he comes back from work,he would rather sit with his friend and even forget to sleep in his friend room,I have to wake him up to come over and sleep,he doesn't even help with the kids anymore,he doesn't want to go to church anymore,I keep wasting food as he won't eat if his friend his around. on Val's day my husband didn't even call or send a message or buy a gift,it has never happened before. I called his friend and warned that I don't want to see him in my matrimonial home again and I guess he told my husband,my husband didn't speak to me since morning, I even went to meet him about what was wrong and he said he was going to beat me up when I called him gay. he has reported me to my family and I feel so bad,I am so hurt and I don't know what to do,he is not himself this morning because his friend is not around

yemi15:


Don't listen to them madam. You were right in confronting him, though calling him gay was wrong. Next time, he misbehaves, threaten to report him to his immediate family and your church pastor. See the magic there. If he is still continuing in his nefarious ways, report him to those people I mentioned. If he is still adamant, it might be time to think of a divorce (I hope you are not a housewife that has no job or you do have savings that can be used for business as a source of living) as bad as it may sound. Once again, this is not a matter to fret over. Follow my advice and you will be fine.

LadySarah:


You are right to need his attention and to be preinformed if there will be an additional roomate.

whatever precedence yoi set today will influence what goes on fro now.Dont beg him

Make sure the stupid mofo doesnt come back anymore,let hell loose.If he had common sense,he would encoursge your husby to go bond with you when you are around.

His anger wil cool and then he will come around nd communicate.Thats what two adults in a rshp do.

opejulie10:
his job is demanding but he has been coping,we talk about his work a lot, I even assisted him with loans from my office to help out,he is taking care of the kids,we don't have monetary issues, but this late home coming, drinking at beer palor, been friends with someone that has like 3 girlfriends apart from his wife is my problem... could my husband so value this friendship that he can act so cold towards me to the extent of trying to beat me up because I warned him I don't want to see friend at our home??

Uyi168:
No matter the situation, people will always finds ways to blame the woman...
SMH..

dominique:
You should never have called to warn his friend or accused him of being gay to his face. If your husband is gay, you would have seen warning signs even in your courtship not after a whopping 8 years of marriage. The friend could be wrongly influencing him but gay? Very unlikely.

merahki:
Dear OP
I find it somewhat disturbing that you have got no friends, do not want any friends but your best friend-husband who is clearly is not on the same page (as evidenced by his actions)
I really think it is unhealthy to invest all your emotions in your spouse. This must be draining for both of you I feel. He smiles and it is sunshine, he frowns and it is a storm. Then the main thing- he keeps company and your world is torn apart like this
You need to get a life and I say this without any malice intended. Your husband belongs with you, and you with him, but nowhere is it okay for you guys not to have other, healthy relationships
From what I can deduce, even an angel hanging out with your husband will come off smelling like rotting (or rotten) fish to you
For me the root cause of everything is this insecure feeling you have, which comes from a place of fear. Your reactions would always be off as a result.
But, I could be wrong though (I hope I am)

I have no words regarding the house guest/gay/ leading astray/confrontations situation. I just responded to the intense thirst (panicked neediness) residing in your post.
Good luck