₦airaland Forum

khiaa:
If you don't care why did you bring his name into this conversation. Get lost? You brought your demonic behind to my mentions.

Toks2008:
All these are easy talks. It's not as easy as many think.

The phobia ladies have for naija guys is so alarming that it is only by God's grace that you will find one to really want you.

And also the issue of papers is another big one. As long as you are not fully settled as a man, many settled ladies usually conclude you want them for papers n this is why arranged marriages are thriving.

And in most cases those who will want you are those who are way off from what you want...u no get luxury to dey picky.

It is not as easy as many think

cococandy:
You’re ignorant seriously.

If Nigeria is so good, why should I be grateful that I’m no longer in it?

I’m trying to veer this discussion into an intellectual angle. Hopefully your brain can handle that.

TaminaliaCatapa:
Well, everything is wrong with your right side of brain and there is nothing right about what’s left if you think only Africans do janitor and security jobs. A right thinking individual knows all races do those.

However, Please this thread is for humans. Your people are the most notorious for crime.
You are lazy

You start whoring around at the age of 12, that’s why a black American kid of 12 is on birth control

You start smoking/doing drugs at age 12/13


What you described is what a lot of your brothers say is going on in Nigeria. Sorry azz men like yourself getting multiple young girls pregnant and ditching them to go inpregnate the next one.Now run along and go impregnate your big fat white whale so she can give you your papers

You get pregnant at the age of 12-14

The reason you give birth is not for the sole purpose of procreation, but a means to rob the government of tax payers money. The lazy job of giving birth is your means of livelihood, no wonder your kids beat you at old age.

If a black American has 5 kids, she probably has 5 baby papas..


Once again, keep off this thread, it’s for humans....useless akata

Excuzeme:
You are very true, what you wrote.
I am even worried that some people are trying to cover-up or divert attention from the truth, the reality.

A few things come to mind:

1.) the world has changed, marriage is no longer what it used to be. Everyone has their own "idea" of what their marriage should look like. It wont work out if you marry someone who deos not share that your "view" of marriage.

2.) Western colonization has gradually eroded the "African tradition/culture" and this has affected our marriages. What and how my mother views marriage is not how my wife views it. How my father sees marriage, l am afraid, l tried to see it like that but it is just not working!

3.) Environment affects marriage like nothing else, it is the most important factor! I have seen very nice, lovely and motherly wives who were the envy of everyone that knows them in Nigeria, for more than ten years (not a single quarrel with the husband, nice kids, e.t.c) but that marriage crashed completely within five years of relocating abroad. I have seen too many of these to conclude it is not just mere coincidence.
Why is it that most "feminist" dont have a husband or are divorced women? Is it because they dont take shyte from their husbands?
What went wrong?

4.) If you marry in Nigeria, l am sure both the husband and wife have expectations of each other (Things l will do, things you must not do, things l can take, boundaries that must not be crossed, how in-laws are treated, how family members are treated, e.t.c). These are the basis of any marital union.
Nigerian, legal, customary and traditional LAWS also support these expectations (e,g, you cant drive your husband's mother out of your "marital home" because she has become a part of the family).
All these flies out of the window, once you relocate abroad with your wife!
The "LAWS" in the western world has made Husbands completely impotent and to be honest, there is nothing "Husbands in the Western world" fear more, than their Wife! How can anyone say that is "marriage"?

Marriage should be all about happiness, bliss, love, caring, sharing, dedication, trust, mutual respect, mutual reliance and most importantly, COMMITMENT. There is no room for FEAR, in a real marriage! If you live in-fear of your spouse (husband or wife), then you are not married but dying slowly or planning to kill him/her in the nearest future.

5.) If you come from Abroad to marry a wife in Nigeria, chances, to as high as 90% you will realize it is the greatest mistake you ever made in your life.
Dont blame it on Nigerian ladies, blame it on Poverty, blame it on desperation and finally, blame it on the "change in environment and culture".
How do you expect a woman who was brought up in a "culture and environment" where she is raised to agree that she must cook for her husband, not order him around, not slap him if he misbehaves, respect his mother and allow them free access to their son and CANNOT, under any circumstance (even if they quarrel, which all couples do!) throw him out of his house..... now suddenly finds herself EXPORTED to a "culture and environment" that legalize and promote male-abuse, that says you can call 911 and without any question asked, the Police will order him out of his house WITHOUT ANY PROOF OR BENEFIT OF DOUBT, where his Mother cannot knock on her son's door at 9pm and you the wife is the one who can decide whether she stays that night or go sleep at the local police station as a "wanderer"?

How do you expect her to cope when you suddenly export her to an environment and culture which says it is okay for her to slap you at the slightest provocation but you must just walk away otherwise you will suffer double jeopardy because you will land in jail so fast, you wont know what hit you?
How do you expect her to cope when she is told by Social Workers that she can own the house, the children of the marriage and everything you have, all she needs to do is just shout "domestic violence", even if it is trumped-up?

How do you expect her to remain "sane and behave like your wife" when you export her to an environment and culture which says if you both agree to have $ex as husband and wife, (which is legal and godly), she can change her mind during the intercourse and if you dont stand up immediately, she can charge you for rape (Yes, your own wife o!) and you spend the rest of your life in jail?

I can continue to list the MADNESS that marriage in the "Western world" has become, till tomorrow,
All l am saying is that, you guys should stop fooling yourselves thinking you can import a Naija lady abroad and she would still be the same "nice wife" you know in Nigeria or the nice lady she pretends to be while, in Nigeria. She would change and it is not her fault. she just cant help it (I am not justifying it or saying it is right)...but you must not expect otherwise because if you do, it is the disappointment when she changes, that will kill you first before her actions does. (Nigerian ladies, dont be annoyed, l am just trying to prepare the mind of you potential husbands for what would happen, so they dont start forming ignorance).

6.) The Devil you know, is better than the Angel you dont know! That is a big, fat lie.
The Women abroad, especially the Akatas (Black women born and raised in the Western world, Europe, Americas) .... if you live abroad, you probably know them very well. (Less than 10% of them are "wife material).
They grew up in a culture that treats men as scum, slaves and a tool for their pleasure. they are not really into marriage, as we see it over here in Nigeria or as we experienced it between our own parents.

They just wanna be proposed to with an expensive ring, do a lavish wedding and still f*ck around like they are still single. If they have a child for you, you can never be sure who is the father so a DNA test is as cheap and accessible as a malaria test over there.
"Bastard Child" as we know it in Nigeria, does not bring "shame" to any woman over there because probably eight out of ten persons you come across was raised by a` man who is not their father but was told by their mother, that he is their father, till they found out.
They just move on.
Infact, it has become so "normalized| that men are beginning to think it is a "sign of good character" to not complain when your wife brings another man's pregnancy/child into the marriage, you just raise the kid like your own once she says 'I am sorry".

So, even if you marry an Akata in your neighborhood over there in the Western world, it is still as risky and dangerous as importing a wife from Nigeria.

And that brings us to the real issue: marriage is no longer what we know it to be.
Drop all those expectations, if you dont want to be disappointed, you will be, if you still look at it from the lens of "how it used to or was supposed to be".

Let me stop here.
My advice:
Dont marry for children, there in no guarantee they wont be taken off-you by your wife, at one point in the future. There are so many men out there who cant see, relate or even be allowed to say 'hello' to their kids, by their wife or the state. Surrogacy can give you a child of your own, without a mother and the headache of marriage! Ask Linda Ikeji if still in doubt.

Dont marry for $ex, you can get it without marriage and all its wahala. The $ex doll is a low-maintenance item that wont throw you out of your house or call Police on you or cheat on you and you can remove the battery anytime you want. She is beautiful and very life-like!

Dont marry for love, it is not what keeps a marriage or brings happiness, (Trust, Commitment, Dedication, mutual respect is what does)

Dont marry because you think your wife is submissive or will obey you, she wont once she thinks she can get-away with not doing so (Abroad standard). Women of today are being told they are not women, but Men and should act like men,

Dont marry because of beauty, that one fades faster than those fake jeans they sell at Aba.

Dont marry because you think it will bring you happiness......most married men (especially in the WEST) are living in pain, fear and bondage. How can such people even pretend to be happy (Nigerian husbands living in Nigeria should than their stars but l can assure them that it wont last for long, the evil is gradually creeping-in.

If you must marry, sign a Pre-nup (or a Post-nup if already married). have no "good expectations" from the marriage, you wont get any, anyway. It breaks when it breaks, dont hinge your happiness on it.
Marriage as of today, is all about the woman and what she selfishly wants.
The man that marries should know how much danger he is subjecting himself to. That does not stop you from marrying afterall, we know electricity kills but we still wire our houses and use it.
Those are the brutal truth that will come to pass, sooner or later, even if you dont believe it now.

PS: To some people this is trash and l agree with such people. To some it is life-saving and l still agree with them, to some. it is "wetin concern me" and those are the people l love most. Dont get worked up over this.

khiaa:
What you described is what a lot of your brothers say is going on in Nigeria today. Sorry azz men like yourself getting multiple young girls pregnant then dumping them to impregnate the next child. Now run along and impregnate your big white whale so she can give you your papers. LOL, I just pictured a whale and a Gorilla mating.

JjBankys:
look at you crying already .smh

khiaa:
What you described is what a lot of your brothers say is going on in Nigeria today. Sorry azz men like yourself getting multiple young girls pregnant then dumping them to impregnate the next child. Now run along and impregnate your big white whale so she can give you your papers. LOL, I just pictured a whale and a Gorilla mating.

khiaa:
What you described is what a lot of your brothers say is going on in Nigeria today. Sorry azz men like yourself getting multiple young girls pregnant then dumping them to impregnate the next child. Now run along and impregnate your big white whale so she can give you your papers. LOL, I just pictured a whale and a Gorilla mating.

cococandy:
We are good. Thanks a lot.

We are no longer in Washington.

Moved to a different area. 3 hours ahead. It’s a crazy life.

Enjoy your trip.

SilentListener:
yeah you are right, R Kelly comes to mind[/i]

LUCAS99:
What part of it isn’t easy?

That’s what I did & what a couple of friends I know did...

Whatever I’m telling you is based strictly on Experience not hearsay...

A) OP doesn’t have a Paper Problem...

OP never said He had a Paper Problem. If he did then he would have never thought about going to Nigeria to Marry...

B) As far as I’m concerned Ladies abroad don’t have any phobia against Nigerian Guys...

Are there Girls that will turn you down? Absolutely Yes...

It has nothing to do with any Nigerian Phobia heck you can even say you’re from Africa without mentioning Nigeria.

Are there Girls that Avoid Black Guys? Absolutely Yes...

There are Girls that have #I don’t date Black Guys Policy & that includes both African American Guys as well as Nigerian Guys

(C) Some Girls are above your league... FACT

This is not Nigeria...

You have to be realistic with yourself...

You don’t expect a Lawyer OR Medical Doctor to marry a Security Guard...

Does it happen? Maybe but the chances of that happening is usually very slim & isn’t something to hope on...

Heck most College Educated Ladies also want a College Educated Man...

The truth of the matter is that there are materialistic Ladies both Home & Abroad...

You cannot runaway from reality...

If OP has his Papers, has a Job & has an Apartment plus having a Car doesn’t hurt as well...

OP wouldn’t have any problem finding a Girl within his League except he is an introvert...

The only way OP will have his life together & still be struggling to find a relationship is if OP is aiming for Someone way above his league all things being equal...

OP the big question now is:

Are you aiming for a Lady way above your League?

That’s a thought provoking question for you to answer...

khiaa:
R. Kelly doesn't mess with white whales that's a Nigerian thing, only they can stoop so low.

Yuugen:
Plenty of gud abroad-born n abroad-raised based Nigerian women. A buddy of mine married one 30years old two years ago in Baltimore U.S, they're happily married with a baby girl now. He was turning 35 n wanted to settle down, no time for play. Raves about how a good wife she is. Am in the U.S n have met nice Naija ladies myself. My elder brother too married a Naija lady Accountant here, two kids now, lovely humble lady, calls me uncle everytime . He's in IT. Both have daily 9-5 jobs. She works longer shifts at times like during tax season. Everyone can't be bad, op, maybe u arethe problem or u better yet change ur circle to find who u looking for

SilentListener:
oh you don't like white women now I see

SilentListener:
oh you don't like white women now I see

TaminaliaCatapa:
No they are threatened by the white woman since they don’t go to school....giving birth is their means of livelihood

Ctemi:
Bro, thank for ur testimonies, there are till gud ladies here in US.

Angela777:
Does she like white men?

SilentListener:
oh you don't like white women now I see

TaminaliaCatapa:
This has been worrisome abeg, I don’t like the idea of bringing any gf from Naija come marry, they mess up real bad.

The Naija girls wey dem born abroad sef, they ain’t any way different from foreigners wey go dey tell you to start sharing house chores 50:50 with dem. There is nothing bad if I do those chores in my own volition, but making it a duty for me is a no-no.

Reason why I cant marry white is obvious, the very immediate point I just made up there, some won’t even let you take your kids back to naija coz it’s shîthole

Please, if you are a
1. Naija married man in a foreign land
2. Didn’t marry here in naija but abroad

How did you get married and what type of woman is she.


Please we wanna learn

khiaa:
What does my dislike or liking of white people have to do with whom R. Kelly have sex with? I know one thing for sure, he's not harpooning those white whales that you Nigerian men are obsessed with.

Ctemi:
Same way u guys are complaining no gud ladies in US same way we ladies are complaining no gud guys cos most guys are not ready for commitment. All in all, bro, return to God to give u direction to chose rightly cos once u miss it in marriage u miss it all. Shalom

Angela777:
LOL! Khiaa, there are many big black whales too mating with Gorillas

Excuzeme:
You are very true, what you wrote.
I am even worried that some people are trying to cover-up or divert attention from the truth, the reality.

A few things come to mind:

1.) the world has changed, marriage is no longer what it used to be. Everyone has their own "idea" of what their marriage should look like. It wont work out if you marry someone who deos not share that your "view" of marriage.

2.) Western colonization has gradually eroded the "African tradition/culture" and this has affected our marriages. What and how my mother views marriage is not how my wife views it. How my father sees marriage, l am afraid, l tried to see it like that but it is just not working!

3.) Environment affects marriage like nothing else, it is the most important factor! I have seen very nice, lovely and motherly wives who were the envy of everyone that knows them in Nigeria, for more than ten years (not a single quarrel with the husband, nice kids, e.t.c) but that marriage crashed completely within five years of relocating abroad. I have seen too many of these to conclude it is not just mere coincidence.
Why is it that most "feminist" dont have a husband or are divorced women? Is it because they dont take shyte from their husbands?
What went wrong?

4.) If you marry in Nigeria, l am sure both the husband and wife have expectations of each other (Things l will do, things you must not do, things l can take, boundaries that must not be crossed, how in-laws are treated, how family members are treated, e.t.c). These are the basis of any marital union.
Nigerian, legal, customary and traditional LAWS also support these expectations (e,g, you cant drive your husband's mother out of your "marital home" because she has become a part of the family).
All these flies out of the window, once you relocate abroad with your wife!
The "LAWS" in the western world has made Husbands completely impotent and to be honest, there is nothing "Husbands in the Western world" fear more, than their Wife! How can anyone say that is "marriage"?

Marriage should be all about happiness, bliss, love, caring, sharing, dedication, trust, mutual respect, mutual reliance and most importantly, COMMITMENT. There is no room for FEAR, in a real marriage! If you live in-fear of your spouse (husband or wife), then you are not married but dying slowly or planning to kill him/her in the nearest future.

5.) If you come from Abroad to marry a wife in Nigeria, chances, to as high as 90% you will realize it is the greatest mistake you ever made in your life.
Dont blame it on Nigerian ladies, blame it on Poverty, blame it on desperation and finally, blame it on the "change in environment and culture".
How do you expect a woman who was brought up in a "culture and environment" where she is raised to agree that she must cook for her husband, not order him around, not slap him if he misbehaves, respect his mother and allow them free access to their son and CANNOT, under any circumstance (even if they quarrel, which all couples do!) throw him out of his house..... now suddenly finds herself EXPORTED to a "culture and environment" that legalize and promote male-abuse, that says you can call 911 and without any question asked, the Police will order him out of his house WITHOUT ANY PROOF OR BENEFIT OF DOUBT, where his Mother cannot knock on her son's door at 9pm and you the wife is the one who can decide whether she stays that night or go sleep at the local police station as a "wanderer"?

How do you expect her to cope when you suddenly export her to an environment and culture which says it is okay for her to slap you at the slightest provocation but you must just walk away otherwise you will suffer double jeopardy because you will land in jail so fast, you wont know what hit you?
How do you expect her to cope when she is told by Social Workers that she can own the house, the children of the marriage and everything you have, all she needs to do is just shout "domestic violence", even if it is trumped-up?

How do you expect her to remain "sane and behave like your wife" when you export her to an environment and culture which says if you both agree to have $ex as husband and wife, (which is legal and godly), she can change her mind during the intercourse and if you dont stand up immediately, she can charge you for rape (Yes, your own wife o!) and you spend the rest of your life in jail?

I can continue to list the MADNESS that marriage in the "Western world" has become, till tomorrow,
All l am saying is that, you guys should stop fooling yourselves thinking you can import a Naija lady abroad and she would still be the same "nice wife" you know in Nigeria or the nice lady she pretends to be while, in Nigeria. She would change and it is not her fault. she just cant help it (I am not justifying it or saying it is right)...but you must not expect otherwise because if you do, it is the disappointment when she changes, that will kill you first before her actions does. (Nigerian ladies, dont be annoyed, l am just trying to prepare the mind of you potential husbands for what would happen, so they dont start forming ignorance).

6.) The Devil you know, is better than the Angel you dont know! That is a big, fat lie.
The Women abroad, especially the Akatas (Black women born and raised in the Western world, Europe, Americas) .... if you live abroad, you probably know them very well. (Less than 10% of them are "wife material).
They grew up in a culture that treats men as scum, slaves and a tool for their pleasure. they are not really into marriage, as we see it over here in Nigeria or as we experienced it between our own parents.

They just wanna be proposed to with an expensive ring, do a lavish wedding and still f*ck around like they are still single. If they have a child for you, you can never be sure who is the father so a DNA test is as cheap and accessible as a malaria test over there.
"Bastard Child" as we know it in Nigeria, does not bring "shame" to any woman over there because probably eight out of ten persons you come across was raised by a` man who is not their father but was told by their mother, that he is their father, till they found out.
They just move on.
Infact, it has become so "normalized| that men are beginning to think it is a "sign of good character" to not complain when your wife brings another man's pregnancy/child into the marriage, you just raise the kid like your own once she says 'I am sorry".

So, even if you marry an Akata in your neighborhood over there in the Western world, it is still as risky and dangerous as importing a wife from Nigeria.

And that brings us to the real issue: marriage is no longer what we know it to be.
Drop all those expectations, if you dont want to be disappointed, you will be, if you still look at it from the lens of "how it used to or was supposed to be".

Let me stop here.
My advice:
Dont marry for children, there in no guarantee they wont be taken off-you by your wife, at one point in the future. There are so many men out there who cant see, relate or even be allowed to say 'hello' to their kids, by their wife or the state. Surrogacy can give you a child of your own, without a mother and the headache of marriage! Ask Linda Ikeji if still in doubt.

Dont marry for $ex, you can get it without marriage and all its wahala. The $ex doll is a low-maintenance item that wont throw you out of your house or call Police on you or cheat on you and you can remove the battery anytime you want. She is beautiful and very life-like!

Dont marry for love, it is not what keeps a marriage or brings happiness, (Trust, Commitment, Dedication, mutual respect is what does)

Dont marry because you think your wife is submissive or will obey you, she wont once she thinks she can get-away with not doing so (Abroad standard). Women of today are being told they are not women, but Men and should act like men,

Dont marry because of beauty, that one fades faster than those fake jeans they sell at Aba.

Dont marry because you think it will bring you happiness......most married men (especially in the WEST) are living in pain, fear and bondage. How can such people even pretend to be happy (Nigerian husbands living in Nigeria should than their stars but l can assure them that it wont last for long, the evil is gradually creeping-in.

If you must marry, sign a Pre-nup (or a Post-nup if already married). have no "good expectations" from the marriage, you wont get any, anyway. It breaks when it breaks, dont hinge your happiness on it.
Marriage as of today, is all about the woman and what she selfishly wants.
The man that marries should know how much danger he is subjecting himself to. That does not stop you from marrying afterall, we know electricity kills but we still wire our houses and use it.
Those are the brutal truth that will come to pass, sooner or later, even if you dont believe it now.

PS: To some people this is trash and l agree with such people. To some it is life-saving and l still agree with them, to some. it is "wetin concern me" and those are the people l love most. Dont get worked up over this.

khiaa:
So if the marriage/relationship isnt going well it has to be the non-,Nigerians fault right because the Nigerian is never a fault.

TaminaliaCatapa:
Hahahahahahahaha, pained the fool, [b]I can imagine your foul colored (from drugs) teeth popping out right now ;[/b]D


Hahahahahahahahaha

khiaa:
We have dentists in America and we use them, it sounds like you are describing your village relatives.

TaminaliaCatapa:
This has been worrisome abeg, I don’t like the idea of bringing any gf from Naija come marry, they mess up real bad.

The Naija girls wey dem born abroad sef, they ain’t any way different from foreigners wey go dey tell you to start sharing house chores 50:50 with dem. There is nothing bad if I do those chores in my own volition, but making it a duty for me is a no-no.

Reason why I cant marry white is obvious, the very immediate point I just made up there, some won’t even let you take your kids back to naija coz it’s shîthole

Please, if you are a
1. Naija married man in a foreign land
2. Didn’t marry here in naija but abroad

How did you get married and what type of woman is she.


Please we wanna learn