₦airaland Forum

EngrBriggs:
I am in this same situation as you. I am currently dating a lady who is a graduate and will be 25 years this year. She is loving, caring, industrous and very generous. She is well accepted by my family even though she is from a totally different tribe.

I had planned settling down with her, until I began to realise;

1. My physical attraction to her was waning by the day. She is fast losing her good physique to belly fat and this is really putting me off.

2. She has suddenly become rebellious and will not accept her faults 50% of the time. When I notice something she does wrong and draws her attention to it, she will give excuses and rant about how excessively demanding I am.

3. My mum has never treated her badly. But on one ocassion, my mum extended her anger to her after a disagreement I had with my mum. This lady took it personal and even threatened to stop calling mum. All these because of just one incidence in about a year.

4. Despite coming to my house almost all the time, this lady has never cooked for me. I dont know if she is a good cook or not, although she cooks in her house.

5. She takes offence too quickly. Any little or prolonged joke and she loses her cool. In contrast, I am a very playful person and I cant cope with too much seriousness.

6. Finally, the cultural difference which wouldnt have been much of a big deal except for the fact that she is not so willing to adjust to changes and take simple corrections on how things are been done in my culture.

Weighing her good side and not-too-good side, I became confused. I dont want to settle down with a disrespectful, rebellious woman even if she is the nicest and most generous person in the world.

I can cope with most of her wrong-doings cos I noticed when the chips are down, she is soft-hearted. However, I find myself always thinking, why not be a bit patient, you'll meet someone who will complement and understand you better.

I really do not want stress after marriage and even if there will be, it shouldnt be from things I have noticed and could have avoided before marriage.

almost exactly same ish as me. LIFE.. hmm

Nice submissions.

EngrBriggs:
I am in this same situation as you. I am currently dating a lady who is a graduate and will be 25 years this year. She is loving, caring, industrous and very generous. She is well accepted by my family even though she is from a totally different tribe.

I had planned settling down with her, until I began to realise;

1. My physical attraction to her was waning by the day. She is fast losing her good physique to belly fat and this is really putting me off.

2. She has suddenly become rebellious and will not accept her faults 50% of the time. When I notice something she does wrong and draws her attention to it, she will give excuses and rant about how excessively demanding I am.

3. My mum has never treated her badly. But on one ocassion, my mum extended her anger to her after a disagreement I had with my mum. This lady took it personal and even threatened to stop calling mum. All these because of just one incidence in about a year.

4. Despite coming to my house almost all the time, this lady has never cooked for me. I dont know if she is a good cook or not, although she cooks in her house.

5. She takes offence too quickly. Any little or prolonged joke and she loses her cool. In contrast, I am a very playful person and I cant cope with too much seriousness.

6. Finally, the cultural difference which wouldnt have been much of a big deal except for the fact that she is not so willing to adjust to changes and take simple corrections on how things are been done in my culture.

Weighing her good side and not-too-good side, I became confused. I dont want to settle down with a disrespectful, rebellious woman even if she is the nicest and most generous person in the world.

I can cope with most of her wrong-doings cos I noticed when the chips are down, she is soft-hearted. However, I find myself always thinking, why not be a bit patient, you'll meet someone who will complement and understand you better.

I really do not want stress after marriage and even if there will be, it shouldnt be from things I have noticed and could have avoided before marriage.

Oh wow!! Now this is a serious one.

I think you should prioritize. Rank all you want in your woman. If she has the most important ones, then she just might be your best bet. No one is perfect you know. If she doesn't, well...

BTW, have you tried letting her know these things stress you?

All the best bro

Winter4:
Oh wow!! Now this is a serious one.

I think you should prioritize. Rank all you want in your woman. If she has the most important ones, then she just might be your best bet. No one is perfect you know. If she doesn't, well...

BTW, have you tried letting her know these things stress you?

All the best bro

Thanks for your contribution. I have spoken to her about these and she asked me to be patient with her, promising to change.

GOD CAN ANSWER THAT YOUR PRAYER, OR FIGHT YOUR ENEMIES, ONLY IF YOU CAN MAKE H...

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Happy Sunday to Everyone.

I'm 32yrs but still unmarried, not because I don't like to or because of money but I just have constant concerns, worries, and fears.

I have been in relationships severally where we both love, respect and care for each other; but I call it off every time it was getting really serious, not because of any grievous issue in particular (because nobody is perfect) but just because of worries and fear of the unknown.

Some of the worries I have are things like:
- Would I still like her in the near future after locking it down with her in marriage?
- Am I sure I have considered all my chances?
- Am I sure I won't regret my choice or find a better choice tomorrow?
- Am I sure this is the right person for me?
- Am I sure I'm not walking into misfortune with my two eyes open?
- Am I sure I'm done a balanced analysis in making a choice or just looking at one side?

Some people think I don't like marriage or that I'm just flexing, but these fears and concerns make me develop cold feet whenever a relationship I'm in start getting serious. These fears and doubt are real.

So guys, what were your fears and concerns before getting married and how did it turn out after been married.

You are afraid of the 'unknown' which will not help you. It is God that gives a good wife (Prov 19:14).
There is no already made marriage neither do we have a perfect marriage. Both party work things out themselves. The large sum of the success is in your hands. You fraction out the kind of 'wife' you want from the 'woman' you have.
You work on weakness of yourself and make it perfect.
With God all things are possible.

ImaIma1:
The truth is that you will never know the answer to this question. There is no instrument for measuring the eventuality of marriage.

"They" say that when you meet the right person, you will know and there will be no fear or doubts in the heart.

Happy birthday Imalma

Encoreunltd:
Happy birthday Imalma

Thank you